AN - Thank you guys. Yes sorry it was a bit cliffhangery the structure of the original chpater kind of forced it. It was originally really quite dark and frantic and ended up with Rory in Stars Hollow not Lorelai in Baltimore. This means that this chapter is kind of short. Hindsight they could have probably been one chapter, as this one had alot cut from it because it was the kids not understanding what is going on Luke explaining etc because it didn't really make sense. Anyways onwards, kind of, but the immediate aftermath of the storm. Thank you for reading, I hope you like it, sorry it's a bit short, let me know what you think. x

Chapter 26 – I Can't

Somehow she had got Rory into bed. It was all a blur and the hours that followed wasn't much better. Rory burbled but made no sense and in the end they did what they had done the last time she had broken so badly. They just lay on the bed with Rory clinging to her. Bit by bit Lorelai felt the tension in her daughter leech away until finally Rory drifted off to sleep.

Fifteen minutes after she did Lorelai's cellphone vibrated with a call. Rory's grip had loosened in sleep and Lorelai sat up. Her hand remained on her daughter she pulled her cellphone out from the back pocket of her jeans. With uncanny insight Luke had known when to call. "Hun?"

"How is she? Is Gigi OK?"" Luke asked softly. "Did she say anything?"

"Nothing that made sense," Lorelai looked back at Rory and then at the dresser across from the bed, it held photos of Spencer and Rory and Gigi. All smiles and laughter. "Gigi's ok as she can be." Luke inhaled deeply, she could imagine his chest puffing up but not deflating as he silently fumed with what was happening. "She's in her room. I should check on her, but I don't want to leave Rory right now. Spencer's called. He's trying to sort out earlier flights but he's due back tomorrow night anyway."

"Ok," Luke mumbled. "Did he say anything?"

Lorelai shook her head. "Not really," she whispered. "He's worried, confused. He said she was doing OK. He doesn't know what made her flip out. Something has to have happened it's just like it was with her last breakd…" she faltered and then felt her face crumple. Not wanting to take her hands off Rory she tipped her head forward wishing that Luke was really here so he could hold her tight.

"It's OK. She's safe." Luke whispered. "Ok. You got her. She's safe."

"I know we do…but…" Lorelai lifted her head and looked back at Rory. She looked peaceful but she looked diminished. "She's been down for so long and I tried but with everything and the distance it just…she just…"

"She's a gr…"

"She needed me," Lorelai interrupted him. "She needed me and what did I offer a weekend away and phone calls? I'm a b…" Luke shushed her down the phone. "I am."

"No you aren't," he told her forcefully. "You are an amazing Mom. Rory is 32 years old. She…"

"Needs me," Lorelai finished. She knew that what he was saying was rational; that Rory was a grown up, that she was old enough to know her own mind and make the change. That Rory knew how to manage her mental health. But even so she felt like she should shoulder some of the blame. That she should have forced Rory to do more than she was doing. That she should have done more.

"You've done everything," he told her softly, his uncanny ability to know exactly what she was thinking making her heart soar even though it was being slowly compressed with worry over her oldest. "And we'll do what we can now. OK. We'll get her back to her."

xXx

Lorelai woke to a thin arm snaking around her waist, a form pressing against her. It took a moment to realise where she was. Lying on Rory's bed in Baltimore. She hadn't remembered falling asleep. She had been talking to Spencer and Luke and it had been early morning, oh so early. And now it wasn't early, at least not 3am talking through the confusion early. It was normal early. There were sounds of cars outside the rest of the world getting on with business of society. She pressed a kiss into Gigi's crown. "You OK Cutie?"

"I guess," Gigi whispered burrowing her face into Lorelai's chest. "Are we going to take Mom to the doctor?"

"Probably," Lorelai answered honestly. She had absolutely no idea what she was supposed to do now. Were they supposed to call Rory's therapist? Take her to the family doctor? "We'll figure it out."

"Ok," Gigi mumbled uncertainly. "What about school?"

"I'll call them. You won't get in trouble," Lorelai kissed Gigi again. "Don't you worry about that OK?"

"Kay," Gigi nodded. There was a long pause and then finally Gigi spoke again. "Is Mom sick because of me?"

"No sweetheart," Lorelai cuddled the teen tighter to her. "It's not because of you. She is…"

"Messed up," Gigi interrupted.

"Messed up. Yeah," Lorelai repeated. "There is a lot going on but it won't be because of you."

"Is it Dad?" Gigi whispered barely audible. "Will they…"

"I can't answer that. I hope not. I hope it's just Rory not being herself."

"He doesn't work as much as she says, not really," Gigi whispered, her hands clenched on Lorelai's arms. "He has some days but it's not all the time."

"Yeah?" Lorelai whispered. To be fair to Spencer she did only have Rory's word for his work pattern. Rory always seemed to make out that he was constantly in the office. "Do you know where your Mom's cell is? I want to see if I can find a number for her therapist."

"It's probably in her purse," Gigi held on for a moment longer and then slid from the bed. Lorelai sat up slowly, watching Gigi make her way out the room before turning her attention to Rory. She was still sleeping and she did look peaceful. Tenderly she brushed hair from Rory's face and sighed. How much of the problems had Rory constructed and how much was real? Gigi returned and held out a purse. Lorelai took it and rifled through it, a wallet, hand sanitiser, A chapstick and a piece of crumpled paper. But no cell. She looked at the paper. No, not paper a letter. A letter stating Rory had lost her job. Lorelai frowned and read the letter again. "She got laid off." Lorelai whispered staring at it. Rory hated her job. She was overworked, underpaid and underappreciated. But at a time when she needed it most, even though she hated it, Rory had lost the thing that she could structure her life around. The lifesaving gift of monotony when everything else is swirling. The destruction of her thesis made sense. Rory had taken being laid off from a job she hated as proof that she wasn't good enough. "Oh Babe."

"Why would they fire her?" Gigi stared at her wide eyed.

"She got laid off. They didn't have the money." Lorelai swallowed. She felt heavy. In need of sustenance and liquid. "Come on Sweetheart let's get some breakfast. We should let her sleep and we should search for her cell."

"Ok," Gigi peered past her to Rory, her face creased like she couldn't piece together what was happening. "I can make eggs."

"We'll figure it out together," Lorelai told her. Meaning more than just breakfast.

xXx

It was just past midday when another car rolled into the driveway. She watched as Spencer burst out, leaving any belongings in the car. Rory was still sleeping. She hoped that Rory would sleep for as long as this conversation would take. Rory couldn't tell them what was going on. Nor could Gigi. Maybe Spencer could. In a way she hoped he couldn't. She hoped that it was just medication. She hoped his only involvement in Rory's unhappiness was his work and her perception of him working too much because if it was anything more she wasn't sure what she would to do him. Probably rip him apart like a zombie horde from one of April's shows. "How is she?" Spencer burst into the house. "Is she awake? Has she eaten anything? Has she said anything? Is Gigi OK?"

He looked so genuinely panicked that any thoughts of him doing wrong melted away.

"Rory is still asleep. She hasn't eaten anything. She's said stuff but nothing that I can piece together. Her therapist said it might be her meds. We are to let her sleep and when she does wake up, as long as she isn't a danger to herself or others, to take her to her therapist. If she is a danger take her to the emergency room." Lorelai told him struggling to keep her voice level.

"I don't understand," Spencer's shoulders sagged.

"Which part?" Lorelai sagged in her chair.

"Any of it," he whispered. "I don't understand. How can meds make her worse? How can the thing that's supposed to help her make her worse? What about the therapy? She's been going to therapy. She was doing the things the therapist said. I know she wasn't happy with work and she hates Baltimore, but she was trying and I was trying…I…I can't…"

"Can't what?" Lorelai whispered, terror flooded like ice through her.

"Help her," Spencer whispered. "I can't help her. I tried. I've tried to be here for her. I had to go to deliver this conference but the next one someone else was going to do because I wanted to be here for her. It's just everything I try is wrong. She just stares at me, or she snaps at me. But she…" he dissolved, his voice pitching upwards "I can't help her. I just want to make her feel better but I just can't and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do," Lorelai wrapped her arms around the young man and held him. His tears came flowing out of him like an exhausted river. "I just want her to be OK. I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to do."

xXx

Rory sat up slowly. She didn't quite understand why she was in bed. The last thing that she remembered was getting into the car after Mark had given her the pink slip. Shame crashed over her. She'd been laid off. She hadn't even been good enough to keep that job. It stabbed at her and then pushing through the shame came the sound of voices. Spencer and her Mom. She frowned. Her Mom. Why was her Mom here? Was this some kind of dream? Slowly she got to her feet. She felt unsteady, her legs not feeling strong enough to hold her. She staggered out the bedroom and clinging to the bannister stumbled down the stairs.

"…without another job. I'll look from now maybe go back to Yale or Block Cell, or anywhere in New York. She was happy in New York. And if I can't my contract is for another eighteen months. So I could join them then."

"You'd be apart from them for eighteen months. How is that…"

"I'd come up any day I could. Every weekend. It's better than nothing. I have to think of the future. I have to be able to support them. If I just up and leave it's too much of a risk. What about insurance? We need to be covered."

"I guess. But…"

Rory stepped forward. Her Mom and her husband turned to look at her. She clearly looked awful because they both gasped slightly and moved towards her. She waved her hand, to what? Wave them off. They reached her at the same time. Both taking one of her elbows and leading her towards the kitchen chair. "I'm…what are you…I don't…"

"It's OK Babe," Lorelai crouched beside her, smiling softly, tenderly rubbing her bicep. "We were just trying to come up with a way to make it better."

"Better?" Rory whispered.

"You hate it here," Spencer told her the words flowing out of him. "I think we should move back to Connecticut or New York. I think you and Gigi should go as soon as you feel like you can. I'll join you later once I've sorted work out."

"But we don't have to talk about that now. We can talk about that later. Yeah?" Lorelai interrupted "Right now we just have to focus on you and what happened."

"What happened?" Rory whispered. Her head ached. It was all too confusing. "I can't remember…I don't know."

"What, was wrong. Why. I meant. Why you are feeling so bad"

Rory looked down at her Mom and nodded. She blinked, her eyes dry and scratchy. "Mom?"

"Yes Babe."

"I…I…I can't I…I don't…I."