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Chapter Twenty Six

Tamlin

Lucien left my side the moment we entered the castle to get familiarize with the castle's layout and where guards were posted. He'd brought a parchment of paper tucked into his tunic with a rough sketch of the castle's first and second floors to mark potential exits and where the guards were stationed. Once we knew where they were, we would take turns excusing ourselves with the excuse of getting some fresh air to disarm and incapacitate as many of them as possible before we rescued Brie. I also tasked him with finding out how to turn off the electrified bars of Brie's cell. If worse came to worse, I would yank them out with my bare hands, yet I hoped it wouldn't come to that. If we had to fight our way out of the castle I needed to be able to use my hands, and although my strength remained untouched, I wasn't certain if my healing abilities would work properly while on the castle grounds.

The glittering jewels adorning Lilianna's arms and fingers and even her mask and tiara served a dual purpose. First – to all who looked upon her finery, she would appear to be a wealthy High Fae of the Night Court. Second and most importantly – every single piece of jewelry would dissolve into a sleeping drought when added to liquid. Ianthe kept a store of various powders and poisons locked away inside the temple I had built for her use, and it was only after the war ended that I finally went inside to discover who the female I let into my home truly was. She'd cataloged her long list of male conquests, commenting on each one's ability to satisfy her in bed and it sickened me. I'd cringed when I came to Lucien's name circled in what appeared to be blood, and realized it was circled after he ran away with Feyre. Of all the males she had slept with, she wanted him the most and would've done anything to get him. I hated that I owed Feyre a debt of gratitude for getting him away from her before she used some sort of magic to bind him to her forever.

Amongst her possessions I found a large box of jewels, and only discovered they weren't real when I accidentally crushed one between my fingers. At the time I didn't cared if I lived or died so I tasted the power on my fingers. I woke up hours later with a terrible headache and the knowledge that she had likely drugged my men and me during her stay at the manor. No, not just likely – she had drugged me, and I clawed my name off her list when it struck me that I wasn't just a potential conquest. I scoured her personal journals and within those pages I learned the true extent of how many times she'd used various combinations of powders to elicit the responses she wanted from me. All it took was to slip something into my food or drinks to make me willing to oblige her every fantasy.

All the horrible memories of those long and terrible weeks and months I spent after learning the truth came flooding back into my mind as I returned to Ianthe's temple to retrieve the box of phony jewels. I thought I could handle it – at some point as a coping mechanism my mind shut down and I actually started believing the lies I told myself about certain moments in the past, and I truly thought I'd buried the memory deep enough it couldn't hurt me anymore.

I threw up repeatedly when read what she wrote about me and couldn't keep food down for weeks afterward. I'd lost a considerable amount of weight which Rhysand undoubtedly noticed when he stopped by to rub my failures in my face and again when he came to offer help protecting the wall in the form of Tarquin. To keep those terrible secrets buried deep within my mind I focused on the dead elk and the utter loneliness of having no one to share it with and as I hoped it dragged me under to a dark place and thoughts of death and how it would save me. I made that memory about him and the elk not Ianthe, and threw myself into rebuilding the Wall as a way of coping with everything that had happened with Feyre, Rhysand and Ianthe.

It worked until I entered the temple again, and I gave in to the tears I'd kept locked inside for the longest time. I set fire to the temple before I returned to the inn, but the memories of those dark days followed me, and by the time I entered the grand ballroom I felt sick to my stomach. The sight of so many masked faces set me on edge which was Clarissa's intent. She wanted me to remember how helpless I had felt during Amarantha's reign and she succeeded.

I couldn't move – could scarcely breathe.

I stood frozen staring at the glittering masks of the males and females twirling around on the dance floor. From the size of the crowd milling around and dancing, she must have planned the masked ball before I even accepted her proposal, and it made the panic festering inside of me all the worse.

"Breathe, Tamlin," Lilianna whispered as she came to stand at my side and rested a hand on my arm. "There isn't a person in this room who can harm you. You are the powerful High Lord of the Spring Court and no one can take that away from you unless you let them."

"Give him another chance," I said instead of saying that they already had taken every shred of self worth I once had. "He's afraid of giving in to the love he feels for you. It's your fault though. If you didn't take every single opportunity to remind him you're going to die, he would've fought the mate bond to be with you."

"Love shouldn't have conditions placed upon it," she said, shaking her head. "How strong and deep is any man's love if it can only flourish when conditions are favorable?"

"Did the kiss mean anything to you?" I said, and a smile graced her face as she touched her fingers to her lips as if recalling the feel of his lips pressed against hers. "If you want him to give up his Cauldron given mate for the short time he will have you in his life then you will need to show him that you are the only female for him."

"If I did that he would grow to hate me for leaving him." Her eyes strayed to where Azriel leaned against the wall near the entranceway, and I grinned when I noticed how everyone gave him a wide berth, whispering about him without realizing he could hear every word they said. "I should go inform Azriel of the change of plans so he can help me spike the punch bowls."

I caught hold of her arm before she could walk away, and looked her in the eye. "Are you hoping Azriel will make him jealous enough that he'll tell Elain he has chosen you instead of her?"

"No, that's what Azriel is hoping will happen." She looked his way again, and he nudged his head for her to join him. "You've spied on him –"

"How do you know that?" I interrupted as trumpets began to sound announcing Clarissa'a arrival. "I never mentioned that to anyone other than Azriel and he wouldn't have told you."

Her eyes rolled up toward the beautifully detailed mural of winged males and females painted on the domed ceiling. The Higher Beings told her. "He is an honorable man and that means he won't act on his feelings for Elian as long as Lucien remains faithful to her. Since I explained about the creature in the water and how he had breathed life back into my body, the most he can say right now is that we were swimming in the pool naked and he saved my life."

"I hope you don't regret sabotaging your own happiness along with theirs for the sake of these Higher Beings of yours," I said, watching as the crowd parted for Clarissa and her entourage to make their way to the dais where her throne sat along with a plain wooden bench for me. Yet another attempt to humiliate me and also remind me of my time with Amarantha Under the Mountain. "Watch for Lucien. When he returns start adding the sleeping potion to the drinks," I added, looking from her to the humans filing through the entranceway to see the queen in the yards and yards of shimmering, hunter green fabric that made up her dress. Twice someone stepped on the long train trailing behind her, twice the humans responsible were escorted out of the ballroom by one of her guards, and as they were being led away another guard stopped Clarissa and whispered something in her ear. She patted his cheek and smiled before she continued walking toward the throne. "But first send Azriel out to clear the upper floors of any guards – remind him only to disable them and locked them away where they can't get out until after we've escaped with Brie."

"What about the guards on the first floor and the ones guarding the dungeon?" she whispered, bowing to Clarissa as she looked our way.

"I'll excuse myself after Azriel returns and work on ridding the lower level of the castle of any guards. When I return, Lucien will be responsible for clearing the guard station outside the dungeon." I gave a subtle nudged of my head at the table filled with crystal bowls filled with various drinks, and she nodded. "If we are going to get out of here without any bloodshed, we need as many humans as possible drinking the sleeping potion."

"What about the queen?" she said as Clarissa took her seat on the throne, and patted the bench for me to join her to watch the festivities. One look at the exquisite golden mask she wore embedded with emeralds shaped like the whorls of leaves and my knees went weak. Rhysand or Feyre must have told her in startling detail about the mask I had been forced to wear for forty-nine years. I scanned the crowd searching for Rhysand amongst the guests. "Focus, Tamlin." My attention snapped back to her. "How do we get her to drink the sleeping potion?"

"Do your job and let me worry about her."

I strode away from her, pushing my way through the crowd to go sit beside Clarissa. I took the stairs two at a time, and stood before her. Tilting her head from one side to the other and pursing her painted red lips as if appraising me, she sighed.

"It appears as if you've forgotten your mask, High Lord," she said, twirling her rich ebony hair around her finger. "Did your man servant forget to inform you that this is a masked ball?"

"Who told you about the mask I wore before the curse was lifted?"

She touched her fingers to the mask she wore, and smiled. "It is well known what style of mask you wore during those years, Tamlin. I ordered this to be made right after Rhysand accepted my proposal on your behalf."

"It is not well known," I gritted out, taking a seat beside her on the uncomfortable wooden bench. "Where is he? I know he's here somewhere."

She waved a hand and the music began to play – her way of dismissing me as if I was one of the servants quietly setting out trays of food while the wealthy guests laughed and danced and picked over the steaming trays of meat and vegetables. As I watched the servants dressed in dull grey uniforms working tirelessly for a queen who likely never paid them any attention unless it was to reprimand them, I realized they were no better off than the slaves the Fae of Prythian used to keep. Some of them even had bruises in various states of healing that couldn't be hidden beneath the short cuffed sleeves of their uniforms.

"You whip and beat your servants when they displease you," I said to draw her attention away from Azriel and Lilianna who were dancing at the edge of the dance floor near the drink tables. "I see bruises on several of them," I added, pointing to a petite, blonde-haired girl who appeared to be no older than Lilianna with dark welts littering her arms and legs. "What did the girl do to earn those hideous bruises?"

"That is none of your concern." She tilted her head to look me up and down. "I thought it was made clear to you that when we are married you will have no say whatsoever in how my queendom is run. You are nothing more than a pretty face to warm my bed at night and to sit quietly at my side while I hold court. Any punishments I dole out will be carried out without a word from you. Is that understood?"

"Yes, your majesty," I gritted out, plastering on a smile.

I understood clearly that a queen who ruled by invoking fear in her subjects didn't deserve to rule at all. My eyes flitted from the punch bowls to Lilianna and Azriel. If our plan succeeded her servants would be blamed for the spiked drinks. They carried them to the tables and refilled them when they were empty – would their punishment be any less our fault than Clarissa's? It reminded me of how Ianthe and Feyre worked toward the same goal of getting me to whip Darius, but for different reasons. I had wielded the whip, but their hands were on the leather bound handle as well for each and every lash across Darius' back.

The pain she inflicted upon them would be as if we inflicted it ourselves, and I couldn't stomach the thought of it. Pushing to my feet, I walked down the steps as Clarissa ordered me to sit back down beside her. The music stopped playing on a sour note as I strode through the crowd, pushing males aside to get to Lilianna and Azriel.

"Come back here. Now!" Clarissa commanded, and a murmur of panic went through the crowd. "You will do as I command, Fae dog!"

Lilianna rushed to my side, and hissed, "What are you doing, Tamlin? You're ruining everything we've planned."

"Look around you, Lili," I whispered as Azriel came to her side and slipped an arm around her waist. "Who will be blamed when we free Brie? Not you or me." I gave a subtle nod at one of the servants with faded purplish-yellow bruises. "I will not be goaded into harming any more innocent people because of the Night Court – do not spike the drinks."

"You think they will fare any better if we have to fight our way out of here?" Azriel said, a low growl rumbling in his throat as Clarissa continued ordering me to return to her side. "You want to free the girl and that cannot be accomplished with all these humans in our way. Stick to the plan, Tamlin."

"Sir…." Someone timidly tapped on my shoulder, and I pivoted on my heel to find a scrawny human male dressed as a guard but it looked as if he might run away at the first sign of trouble. "Queen Clarissa requests your presence at her side." His pale blue eyes implored me to do as Clarissa commanded. "Please," he added, glancing over his shoulder at the raised dais then back to me. "Please…."

"Tell her majesty I will return to my seat in a moment," I gritted out, dismissively turning my back to him to speak to Lilianna. "I will not be held responsible for the subsequent harming of these servants if the three of you go against what I say and spike the drinks anyway. The beatings and whippings they endure will be your burden to carry. Can you live with that, Lili?"

"If there was another way to save her without harming anyone, you would have already thought of it," Lilianna said, watery eyes beseeching me to understand that her sister's safety was her first and foremost concern. "I don't want to see anyone get hurt, but we have no other choice."

"I once felt the same way about Feyre as you do about your sister, and I lost everything because of it." I shrugged a shoulder. "What more can be taken from you though, right? You won't have to live to regret the choices you make tonight and I guess that makes it okay for you to do whatever you feel is necessary to save her. But I will live beyond this night and I will never forgive you if you personally cause innocent people to suffer."

I left them and returned to my seat beside Clarissa, scowling at her as she grasped hold of my hand to make sure I didn't leave again without her permission. "I forgive you," she whispered, her muddy brown eyes lingering on Lilianna. "And as a gift to you, I will allow for the girl to join us in bed from time to time as long as she is attentive to my needs as well as yours."

"I have no intention of ever fucking you or the girl," I growled, anger tightening in my chest. "Even if I do marry you, we will never, ever sleep together."

"Oh, I didn't mean her." She pointed a chubby finger at Lilianna. "I meant the girl in the dungeon." My heartbeat sped up and thundered in my ears as she gave my hand a tight squeeze and smiled. "I found it odd that the High Lord of the Night Court could accept a marriage proposal on his enemy's behalf, and yet you showed up after I made you wait seven days at that tiny inn in the village. But before our meeting, and your gracious acceptance of my proposal, your emissary paid a visit to the girl which I found odd as well. Then he offered to defend her at the trial – a treasonous act if the High Lord of his Court wanted to see her dead. He went against not only your wishes but also the High Lord of the Night Court, and yet you claimed to have no problem with him defending her because you say she isn't your enemy."

"I already explained to you why I accepted your proposal, and what I stand to gain from it," I said, yanking my hand free from hers. "My marriage will bring peace between my Court and theirs and that is why I agreed to shackle myself to you – not for some human girl. From what you know of my time with one human girl, do you honestly believe I would care what happens to any humans?"

"Then I guess you won't mind if she's put to death tonight. Why waste time on a trial when everyone knows the girl is guilty?" She waved a hand and the guards stationed at the entranceway nodded and walked out of the ballroom only to return a few moments later with Lucien in chains. Thick metal cuffs circled his wrists and ankles, linked together by those heavy chains, and the color had leeched from his skin leaving him deathly pale. His one eye was so bloodshot it looked completely red, and as he coughed hard his nose started to bleed, trickling down his mouth and chin. Lilianna screamed his name, and started toward him, but Azriel caught hold of her and hugged her tight to his chest. I shot to my feet to go heal him, but one of guards standing behind him, lifted a dagger made of mountain ash and warned me to stay where I was with a shake of his head. "I'm afraid your emissary breathed in a little too much ash dust when he was unsuccessfully trying to draw up a blueprint of my castle. Why would he be doing such a thing, Tamlin?"

"Let him go," I growled, and the crowd of humans scurried away toward the cream colored walls to watch from a safe distance. "If you hurt him anymore than you already have, I will snap that fat neck of yours and rip your head clean from your body."

"The laws of this land are clear about what happens to spies," she said, clucking her tongue before she waved her hand again and more soldiers entered the ballroom and this time they brought Brie with them. Fresh, ugly bruises littered her body and face, her eyes swollen shut from the beating she had endured while we made useless plans. I roared in rage, the ground beneath my feet trembling, but my eyes remained locked on Brie.

"Brie!" Lilianna cried, slamming her foot down hard on the bridge of Azriel's foot, loosening his grip. Pushing away from him, she rushed to her sister mindless of the fact that she would become their prisoner as well, and stopped short only when she realized she would hurt Brie if she touched her.

"Choose one – you can't have them both," Clarissa taunted, turning to face me. "One will die while the other will live…but my offer is only good if you marry me right now in front of the girl who believes you are her mate and the man you consider your best friend."

Author's note: I always found it hard to believe that Ianthe never made a single move on Tamlin if her main goal was to marry a High Lord and have children with him for the power it would give her. She was sneaky and conniving and to me it only makes sense she would try something to have a child with Tamlin so it would be the next High Lord. That's my thoughts, but perhaps I'm wrong...let me know your thoughts.