Ok so… I could go into the long list of things that kept me from writing for the past year and a half to two years… but I'm sure that my life story is boring as hell to most people. The short story is, I got knocked up again, and the pregnancy was something from a horror story. In the beginning, very very beginning, there were two babies, then there was one. And the one had a crap ton of issues. Then she came early, and was in the NICU for 8 days. But she's amazing and such a fighter. She was supposed to be in a lot longer than those 8 days. Throughout all of this, there issues with Mr Knife Wielding Hooker. Those are pretty much worked out. And the baby? She's about to be a year old. And you'd NEVER know she had all those issues. But she's got this tumor thingy on her head. It's not a dangerous one, and should fade as she gets older, but it's had a few complications. So she's been undergoing a few procedures to try and shrink it and possibly even remove it. We get a lot of dirty looks about it. People are ass holes.

I hope that these two characters still have your attention. I'm sure you'll have to skim through for a refresher.

To be quite honest, the fandom just burnt me out for a while there. I had so much of this real life crap and when I tried to read or write, it just wasn't there.

One last thing to make note of: I have grown tremendously as a writer. So what you read of this story from here on out is just… going to be better. There's no other word for it. This was the first fic I ever wrote, and when I look back, I'm sort of ashamed at how spazz-tastic it is. But I've got some other stories I'm working on (two). And they're so much better. But I simply cannot post them until this is finished. I owe it to myself and to the Lovely Readers. So my plan is to wrap this up in about 5 chapters. It's been quite the ride. I hope you'll finish with me.

As always, the characters belong to Meyer. The rest is all mine.

23. NO MORE WORDS.

When I got into Edward's room, he was sitting up but seemed completely dazed. That makes two of us. I didn't know how to do any of this, and the further into the room that I walked, the more I realized that the hospital was the last place I wanted to tell him how I felt.

"Hey." I whispered.

He winced. "I look that bad, huh?"

"Not bad. Just really fuckin' rough. How do you feel?"

He quirked his eye brow at my dumb question. Of course he felt awful. "Um… confused. Those Percocets are funny pills." He grinned.

A few moments later a cop walked in. As much as Edward didn't want anything to do with any cops, the hospital insisted. I would've put up a fight for him, but he told me to just let it go. The cop got Edward's statement and said he'd send a nurse in. The nurse checked his vitals and said she'd talk to the doctor but that she was pretty sure he could go home. I sighed in relief.

Two long ass hours later, I was finally pulling my truck around. The whole process had sobered my up considerably, so Emmett felt no need to drive us home. Edward blushed furiously at being pushed out of the ER in a wheel chair, but didn't fuss too much about it. I figured he was hurting that bad.

He grimaced and groaned when he got into my truck. "Sitting hurts my back so fucking bad." He said.

"I'm so, so sorry Eddie Baby. When we get home, I'll get you an ice pack and shit."

"You don't have to do that. Just… just lay with me in bed."

I nodded and drove us back to his apartment. It took him a while to get up the stairs, but once he made it to the top, he got into his place and into his bed in damn near no time flat. We're home, in his bed. Is this the time? Fucking hell, why is this so hard?

I'd never been so at war with myself. And I've been in some fucking crazy situations. I went to my bag and brought out my drawing pad and my charcoal pencils while he slept. I drew him, of course, all peacefully sleeping and adorable. I paid careful attention to the way his lips parted and how his tongue rested against his bottom teeth. I didn't draw the bruises. The sun started to come up and I realized exactly how damn exhausted I was. I curled up into a ball on my side, facing him and ran my finger down the bridge of his nose.

"I love you." I whispered. Maybe it was a cop out that he couldn't hear me. I didn't care. I said it, and I felt better.

He mumbled "Bambi" in his sleep and his brow furrowed. I fell asleep.

I woke up around noon when Edward was slowly getting out of bed. I groaned and rubbed my eyes.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." He said softly.

"It's okay. How do you feel?"

"Like I've been hit by a truck." He fumbled around the side table for his glasses. He groaned when he saw that one of the lenses was completely destroyed. "Fuck!"

"Hand them to me." He handed them over. "I'll head to LensCrafters today and get you a new pair, okay?"

"I only get one pair a year with the insurance." He scrubbed his hands over his eyes.

"It's okay. I've got it." I got him his pain pill and some water from the bathroom. He took them and I got dressed. "If you're a good boy and try to relax, I'll bring you home one of those black and white cookie things you love so damn much." I winked at him and he smiled.

"Alright."

I walked him to the living room where he camped out on the couch. I set up the Xbox for him and got an idea.

"Hey, Eddie Baby." I called from the door. My heart was hammering in my chest, and while this was yet another cop out, because I was leaving as soon as I said it. It was probably the worst fucking idea ever, but it would work for me. God, Buddha, Allah… whoever… I promise, if you let this happen and let me walk out that door as soon as I say this, I swear, I'll be good. Maybe not for long, but I'll be good for as long as I can. I fucking swear it.

"Yeah, Bella?" he called back.

"Um… I, uh… I love you." And I slammed the door before he could say anything.

The drive to LensCrafters was spent with me chain smoking and chewing my thumb nail between puffs. At red lights, my knee jumped uncontrollably. The whole fucking point to how I did this was so that I'd have time to chill out before I went and talked to him about it. That was how it was supposed to happen because that's how I'd fucking planned it… sort of. Now I was just fucking nervous as hell. I knew he loved me back, he told me that all the damn time. Why the hell was I so nervous? Would he be mad at me for how it happened? I had no idea.

The lady at LensCrafters was sort of a bitch, but I got them to figure out his prescription. They were pretty sure they'd be able to just replace the lens, but I told them it was okay if they had to replace them all together as long as they got the same frames.

I contemplated wandering around the mall until the glasses were ready in an hour, but decided it was best to not put off the inevitable for too long. Not to mention, I really, really didn't want to see a bunch of teenaged twatwads hanging around in that place. So I stopped at Starbucks for a coffee for myself and the cookie I'd promised Edward.

I stood at the door for a good fifteen minutes before I actually opened it. Maybe he's completely stoned from those pills and he won't remember. I opened the door with that little morsel of hope.

"It's about time you came back. You wanna tell me what that was about?" His arms were crossed over his bare chest and his hair was sticking straight up and out. He was so hot.

"Um…" I shifted from foot to foot trying not to look at him, but I couldn't help myself. "I'd pretend to not know what you're talking about, but we both know that's just going to piss you off. I got you a cookie, like I promised."

He ducked his head a little as I walked to sit on the opposite side of the couch from him. "You said you love me."

"Yes." I nodded.

"Why? Why did you have to do it like that?" He ran his hands through his hair a few times.

"Because… I don't know… it just, it's stupid, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. If I said it like that, we wouldn't have to sit down and have this whole fucking heavy conversation. You know I don't do the heavy." I fidgeted with a string on my jeans.

"Why would it be heavy? I love you… and you told me you love me back. That's not heavy. That's… that's the greatest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. Nothing will ever top that." He sighed. "I should probably just be happy, huh?"

I looked him in the eyes. "I was hoping you would be. I know you love me. You tell me all the fucking time and I love hearing it. It just… took me a while to catch up or some shit."

"Come'ere." He said and grinned, while he opened his arms wide.

I crawled on the couch to where he was and tried to lightly curl into his chest. We both ignored the way his muscles tensed and flexed, and I pretended not to hear the hiss. Clearly we needed to be connected.

"Well this blows." I said.

"Uh… I'm sorry?"

"Every-fucking-thing is keeping us from… well… fucking! I just told you I love you and I can't even have sex with you cause you're all broken and crap." I huffed and pouted.

"You're cute when you pout." He kissed the side of my head. "We'll do it soon, okay? We've waited this long…"

I groaned. "I know… but now you're all bruised and tough looking… it's making me really horny. And I'm all 'I love you' and shit…" I sighed, "We should so be having sex right now."

He laughed. "I told you, soon. As soon as I don't feel like road kill anymore." He leaned his head on the back of the couch for a moment. "Hey! Where's my cookie?"

I grinned and handed him the cookie. We talked a little bit more about nothing really. I felt compelled to tell him 'I love you' every few minutes. I think it was driving him nuts, but he'd never say so.

Tyler showed up with take-out sometime after dark. Edward told him everything that happened over the meal. I think Tyler and I grimaced at the same points in the story. After Edward took another pill, we fell asleep together in his bed.

The next morning, I was woken up by an obnoxious ringing.

"Hullo?" Edward mumbled into his phone. I kept my eyes shut and burrowed further into the bed. It was too fucking early. "Yeah, Mom, I'm fine." I heard a yell through the phone. "I said, I'm fine. Bruised, banged up, but functioning." He waited a few moments. "Of course you spoke to the doctor. Yes, there's a concussion; yes, there's some internal bruising and yes, there's a few cigarette burns. No, I have no idea who did it. That's all I've got, Mom." His voice seemed to be getting more and more agitated and it was clear that I wasn't going to get anymore sleep. I went to his laptop and checked my email. I had something from my dad. "Yes, Bella has been taking fine care of me." He glanced at me and smirked. I stuck my tongue out at him and shoved my finger up my nose. His voice lowered to an unpleasant tone, "I heard. You might want to keep your opinions of her to yourself though, Mom. She's here to stay."

I paled at that. I knew I loved him. I knew he loved me. I knew I wanted a future with him. But hearing it laid out there like that to his mother? Once again we were back to the heavy. I grabbed my cigarettes for a smoke on the balcony.

Half way through my cigarette, the door slid open. "Sorry I had to…" I stopped when I turned and saw it was Tyler. "Oh. Hey, what's up?"

"Nothin'. Is E doin alright?" I nodded and puffed on my smoke. "Can I bum one?" I handed him the pack and my lighter.

We smoked for a few minutes, the balcony filling with a grey haze.

"So…" he started. I looked at him expectantly. "I'm not coming back after this semester." My jaw dropped. "Edward doesn't know. I love him like a brother, but… everything I've done here? It's been fucking great, but he and I both know I haven't gotten shit for an education. Not because of the school, but because I just… I don't belong in college." He shook his head.

I took another drag of my smoke. "So what do you want me to do about it?"

"I guess I can't ask you to tell him for me, can I?" I shook my head and he chuckled. "I thought not. I was gonna tell him soon. It's just hard. I promised his parents I'd watch out for him here." He looked me up and down. "I guess you can handle that, though, can't you?"

"I guess I can." I smirked.

He smiled back. "You're a good chick, Bella Swan. Real good." He nodded. I scrubbed out my cigarette on the balcony floor while he finished. "Will you help him move into a smaller place?"

"If that's what he wants, sure."

"Good."

"You're not even going to stay long enough to help him move?" I scrunched my brow.

"I can't. My uncle's got a job lined up for me on a lobster boat up in Maine. I've got to leave pretty much as soon as my finals are over." I laughed. "What?"

"I can't picture it. You on a boat, wearing those funny rain suits and shit."

"I've worked on fishing boats during the summer since I was about fifteen." He smiled. "I love it. And it's good money. I'm telling you, Bella. I just don't belong here. Have you ever been somewhere you just didn't belong?"

I stared him in the eye, wondering how he knew my sorority secret. Thankfully I didn't have to answer him, as Edward opened the door.

"Hey. Sorry about my mom, Bella. Wanna go get some breakfast? I'm already going a bit stir crazy in this place."

"Sure." I got up and brushed of my sleep shorts from where I'd been sitting on the ground. Edward didn't have any patio furniture. When I stood, I kissed Edward's lips before leaning to his ear. "I love you, Eddie Baby."

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