25: Wish we could be.
"Congratulations, both of you." Mai said, emotion filling her voice to the maximum. Lily had tears streaming down her thrilled face as she received her maid of honors' hug. Mai wiped the tears of her cheeks.
"Don't cry my beautiful friend; it'll ruin your make up." Mai said smiling, and Lily laughed.
"Come Lily, it's time for the waltz." James said and came up behind his wife.
"I'll see you afterwards Mai. Ask him to dance, it won't hurt." Lily said.
Mai knew exactly who Lily meant, but she had no intention of asking Sirius for a dance. It was completely unheard of. So instead she was left standing alone, looking at all the couples twirling around on the dance floor.
"May I have this dance?" A rough voice asked behind her. She spun around and stared into Remus' dark, almost black eyes. He smiled and held out his hand towards her. Mai smiled and nodded. He moved her out on the dance floor, keeping her steady with firm hands, and led her expertly around on the floor, between known and unknown faces. He smiled down at her delighted face.
"You're wearing the necklace I gave you." He commented and looked down at the small, blue pendant on her chest.
"Of course, do you want it back?" She asked and touched it. Remus shook his head.
"No, you will always be my special girl, no matter who might come after you. I'll just have to buy a larger pendant if there's someone after you." He said and chuckled. Mai stared up at him.
"I'm sorry we weren't meant to be Remus, I would have loved a life with you." She said truthfully. Remus' smile withered away.
"A life with a werewolf? Oh what a life it would have been." He said sarcastically.
"Do not mock my feelings Remus, you know I love you for who you are." She snapped. He subsided and nodded.
"I know, and I'm sorry. Will I ever find someone as beautiful as you? Someone as tolerant as you?" He asked and they stopped twirling around and became a silent island in a vast ocean as wild as during a storm.
"You will find someone so wonderful, that you'll forget all about me, and see no one but her, and her beauty. She'll make you tolerate yourself a little more, and you will both be as happy as you can be." Mai said and smiled. Remus let go of her waist and hand to hold her face between his hands, and stared deeply into her eyes, as if he was searching for something.
"You won't go thinking I can ever forget about you and your smile, Mai Santiago, because it will never happen, no matter what." He said darkly. Mai could not tear her eyes away from him.
"I know. Remus… I know." She whispered.
"Shouldn't you be looking for Sirius though?" He asked. Changing themes so suddenly Mai was left gaping. She stared wide eyed at him.
"Whatever do you mean?" She asked and took a step away from him.
"You can't expect me to be so stupid, can you? I've seen the looks you give him." He said and grinned at her, taking her hand and leading her off the dance floor. Mai could not believe she had been so transparent.
"Truth be told, I'd rather it be the two of you, than a stranger I have no idea who is." He said as they got away from the music and could talk without anyone listening in. Remus showed her up the stairs and into a empty room.
"So, did he smell right, was that how you finally figured out?" He asked.
"He… what, finally? What do you mean?" She asked confused. Remus smiled overbearingly at her.
"You have always had a thing for Sirius, even when we were dating, and even before you noticed it. You'd be quite perfect for each other." He said and smiled.
"I don't understand… " Mai stuttered. Remus smiled and touched her cheek.
"Of course you don't, you're not supposed to. Now go find him, I'm sure he's looking for you." Remus said and pushed her out of the room. She tumbled out in the hallway, with her head still spinning like a windmill in storm and anticlimax from her dance with Remus to where he was telling her how she had always loved Sirius.
Her heart was fluttering like a million kolibris as she walked down the stairs and gazed out over the crowd in the living room. She couldn't see him anywhere, even though he was a quite easy figure to spot. His height and black long hair often gave him away. She realized he actually wasn't there at all. Disappointed she walked outside to get some fresh air, and perhaps manage to clear her mind from all the confusing thoughts that was flapping around with heavy wings in her all too small brain. It felt like her head was about to explode from all the impressions. The joy she felt for Lily and James, the sad loss she felt for her aunt, the confusing feelings about her former boyfriend; Remus, the strange behavior by Peter and her strong love for a man that apparently had no physical or psychical interest in her.
She came out in the beautifully attended garden and stared up at the small moon high in the sky. All around it small stars glittered, but they weren't very evident when the sky was so bright. The air was warm and humid, but it didn't bother her.
Suddenly a very familiar sound reached her sharp ears. She listened closely, and was certain that someone had found each other and was now smooching in the bushes. She smiled to herself, happy that at least someone was enjoying themselves. Being kind person she was, she turned to walk back inside and give the unknown couple some privacy, when she heard a very familiar name moaned out by a female. She froze in her footsteps, not really sure of what to do. There was only one man by that particular name in the entire party, so she was absolutely certain of his identity. It was far more painful this time, no matter how many times he had unknowingly hurt her before. A sob escaped her, louder than what she had intended, and the two figures fell silent.
"Hello?" His dark, sensual voice called from the bushes. Mai didn't dear to breathe, if she gave herself away she would be making the humiliation complete.
"Mai! There you are!" Lilys' voice suddenly interrupted the silence that followed, and Mais' heart sank like a stone down into her toes. She thought she would faint.
"Mai, what's wrong?" Lily asked. She stopped right behind Mai as there were hectic sounds coming from inside the bushes and Sirius' ruffled head popped out. Lily made a strangled sound, it could be angry, it could be shocked. Mais' face had drained of all blood and was pale as a sheet. Sirius grey eyes were glued to her, and she could see shock, sadness and a pain in the thundercloud grey that mirrored her own perfectly.
"You… you man whore." Lily snapped at Sirius. It was probably the meanest thing Lily had ever said to anyone and meant it. Lily grabbed Mais' hand and brought her inside, into one of the bedrooms on the top floor. There Mai fainted from an emotional overload.