CHAPTER TWENTY SIX.

Reaching out with a hesitant hand, Emily ran her fingers down a sleeping Naomi's face, letting herself just be in this quiet moment before all the talking and stern words would be exchanged between them. Startled, Naomi awoke, a soft "fuck" escaping her lips before she smiled at the cause of her wake-up.

"Hey," Naomi couldn't say more than that, she was too fucking nervous.

"Hey," Emily replied shyly, propping up on her elbow.

"You uh, want breakfast?" Naomi took Emily's smile as a positive, but beyond that, she was at a loss.

"I'd better go," Emily admitted, disappointed they had wasted her two free days off with fights and silence.

"Oh," Naomi herself had to work, but she had hoped to spend a bit of time with Emily.

"Doesn't it seem fucking ridiculous that we're talking about starting over when we only met this time last Saturday?" Emily asked, not sure this whole thing was even fucking real.

Naomi shrugged, getting out of bed.

"Can't things just be complicated, Em?"

"The last two days have dulled the glow, Naomi. I felt important, like you really wanted to know me, and then you kissed someone else. The letter was very important, but I don't know if I can trust you yet, or myself. At least not completely." Emily admitted, hugging her knees to her chest. Naomi had her back to her, which didn't help her read what Naomi was thinking about her confession.

"What can I do?" Naomi's whisper almost broke Emily's resolve.

"I'm not sure. Give me time to think?" Emily shrugged. Naomi turned and nodded, and Emily could tell she was close to shutting down to preserve her own fragile emotions. This wasn't what she wanted, she didn't want to hurt Naomi.

"If that's what you need," Naomi relented. "You've turned everything upside down."

"We've done that to each other," Emily countered. Getting out of Naomi's bed, she slowly made her way over to the blonde and kissed her cheek. "I'll call you today, around one?"

"I'll take lunch," Naomi smiled weakly, waiting until Emily left the room before letting her tears fall.

Emily began her walk home, knowing she had done the right thing in leaving. She would not have been able to remain steadfast has she stayed in Naomi's bed. She felt a pain that hadn't yet healed: Naomi's need to kiss someone else hurt her like a motherfucker. Naomi's reason was unimportant, it happened and she didn't want to gloss over it. What she wanted was to resolve it all, one cure-all moment that would solidify this relationship. There wasn't such a cure though, Emily knew that, despite her wishing. Why the fuck was this all so fucking hard?

"Emily, you have to forgive me sometime," Katie sat in the kitchen, watching as her sister continued to ignored her.

"I don't, actually," Emily replied angrily, finally breaking her silence.

"I read her letter. She fucking loves you, Ems. I'm sorry I tried to ruin it, but you know mum won't approve," Katie pleaded with her sister to look at her, but she wasn't getting much luck. This was important to Katie, the fact that Emily knew she was genuinely contrite. Emily didn't want to listen though, and that made it hard to convince her.

"You fucking what?" Emily couldn't believe Katie had read the letter.

"It was on your bed," Katie shrugged. "No secrets, remember?"

"Every time you say that it's when you've butted into my life," Emily slammed the draw close.

"I still think she's a bad influence, but if you want to be with her, I'll promise not to tell mum and dad," Katie caught her sister's eyes and tried to flash the sincerity she felt. She didn't have to understand Emily's lesbian tendencies, but she found herself moved by the letter even though she was adamant she'd never like Naomi. She had never felt emotion like that in a letter, and she worried the whole thing would turn to shit. Emily was right – she had never been there for her as a sister, helping to shoulder her confusion and concerns about her sexuality. If things were going to go tits-up, she needed to be better at helping her recover.

"Gee, thanks," Emily replied sarcastically. She wasn't in the mood for whatever angle her sister was playing.

"I'm working with dad today. It's my way of saying sorry," Katie placed her bowl in the sink, turning to see Emily's reaction. She sighed when she received nothing, not even a glance in her direction. Fuck. Emily was really fucking serious about hating her right now. This was going to take a little more work than first anticipated.

Emily spent the free time re-reading Naomi's letter and thinking over what it meant for her and the blonde. She still fought with the impulse to tell Naomi everything was fine; it was hard to not be seduced and touched by the words, the gentle admissions in the letter. It still didn't change the fact that Naomi had run from her and deliberately had acted out in a way both women knew could have the potential to ruin their chances to have something special. Understanding it was Naomi's way and accepting it were two very different things, and Emily wasn't about to entertain the latter as part of her musings.

For several hours, Emily tried to formulate what she wanted and she expected from Naomi and, of course, herself. It was difficult, she was so unsure about herself and her potential to be involved with Naomi. Having never experienced this before, she nervously worried that she was doing everything wrong. It was difficult to stop from remembering she was very much new to this whole relationship thing. It was even worse to use it as a barrier to getting what she wanted with Naomi. She kept telling herself that she wasn't worth this or that because she'd not even had sex with someone before. She tried to talk herself out of demanding Naomi stay true to her, to wait for some stupid aging virgin who couldn't get her shit together. Then her anger would resurface, and she'd think about Naomi's indiscretion with Andy. She tried to hold onto that anger, not to bash Naomi with it, but to give comfort to her decision making process. She might be inexperienced, but she still deserved Naomi's respect, and she still deserved someone she could trust.

Her phone alarm drew her attention to the fact that it was one, and she had promised to call Naomi. She was a little too worked up, but couldn't help but want to hear Naomi's voice. Emily knew they could work, but only if they both put in as much as each other. It was imperative from Emily's point of view, that Naomi put those words in the letter into practice.

"Punctual," Naomi answered her phone with a smile.

"Hi."

"Hi," Naomi still felt nervous, and she fucking hated it.

"Katie's read your letter," Emily cursed her outburst.

"Oh?" Naomi shook her head; she'd now have Katie Fitch teasing her all about it. Just what she fucking needed.

"Sorry," Emily added.

"Can't do anything about it now," Naomi fired off angrily.

"I didn't let her," Emily began defending herself.

"Okay," Naomi didn't want to fight over the letter. Fuck, they had other things to fight over it seemed.

"I've been thinking about everything you wrote, trying to figure this fucking shit out," Emily moved on, not wanting to fight over the letter.

"Have you come to a decision?" Naomi waited, holding her breath.

"No, not with everything. Can we meet up at the pub or something and talk about it?"

"Why not my place?" Naomi didn't like sharing her private thoughts in a public place.

"I want somewhere neutral," Emily remarked.

"I'll head to Keith's after work, meet you there?"

"Okay." Emily knew it wasn't exactly neutral, but she liked the idea of meeting Naomi to discuss their relationship at the same place they first got to know each other a week away.

"So was that it?" Naomi asked, cringing at her tone. Honestly, could she be any more fucking inept?

"I wanted to hear your voice," Emily admitted.

"Emily Fitch," Naomi smiled at the admission.

"I'll see you later?"

"Of course," Naomi said goodbye and hung up.

"I'm in love," Freddie blurted out. He had come in to tell her, but saw she was on the phone, so he stood just behind her and impatiently waited for her to hang up.

"Whoa," Naomi took in Freddie's nervous pacing, the way he pulled at his shirt. He had been worried about telling her.

"I know people don't understand her."

"Fuck other people," Naomi smiled, hoping to ease the tension he was feeling. She hadn't exactly approved before they hooked up, but she was behind him and Effy. They seemed to fucking click, as clichéd as that sounded. Effy was mysterious, but she seemed to really care for her friend. It was all she could ask for, given Freddie's track record.

"She consumes me," Freddie lit up another smoke.

"I know the feeling," Naomi nodded.

"Are you saying you're in love?" Freddie asked, shocked.

"No! I just fucking met her and we've spent a part of that time fighting," Naomi shook her head vigorously.

"What does that say about me and Effy?"

"It says you're either really fucking brave or really fucking stupid?" Naomi teased, punching her friend in the arm.

"I don't know how Emily puts up with your cynical nature," Freddie teased in kind.

"I don't think she does. We're in limbo."

"You fucking chicks are so complicated," Freddie shook his head and put his smoke out and heading back to work feeling much lighter now he had told his best friend about his feelings for Effy.

TBC ...

Sorry about the delay. Been a bit sick: kinda restricted to bed, but getting better.

My continued thanks to all who read this story and to those who have reviewed or sent me a PM.