"Maybe we should start teaching them the local human language," Kanaya says the day after the childrens' first day on the mainland. They are now twelve human years old, and some of them, mainly the girls, had felt embarrassed not being able to read anything. Sollux started teaching himself the day they had gotten a computer for the island. Lately there had been an obsession with the ending of the millennium. Most of the local humans had been in hysterics about it, according to Dirk anyway, who had given them his old model to upgrade to a newer one while Dirk had taken advantage of some sales. Kanaya was shocked at how many humans had not had personal computers yet. Alternia has had them for a couple centuries now, and given their circumstances, she didn't feel quite so poor.
Karkat is about to reject it when he stops and thinks. "It's not a terrible idea, but I can't do it. I won't."
"Of course you can. I'll help you learn it, too. It's actually quite similar to Alternian."
Karkat frowns, putting down a record of a human that looks like troll Will Smith. "I can read. I don't need your help."
"Here, hand me one of those records. We will make a translation chart."
"I got it!" He grabs a few of them and sits on the ground. Kanaya gets on her knees and is holding a pen in her hand. He takes it from her and holds it over the paper.
"May I see?"
"No."
Excruciating minutes pass by. "Give me the pen."
"I have it, hold on."
"Karkat, it has been ten minutes."
"Would you please get off my back? Be patient."
Kanaya sighs, getting up. She goes to the kitchen block and makes herself some coffee. The whole process takes about half an hour because someone had left old coffee in there from the other day. She doesn't make coffee very often, because more often than not, it gets stolen before she can get to it every morning. This particular predicament was odd, so she had to wash it before using it again. One thing she thanks Sollux for is the full integration of electricity at the hive. For years, they had an electric light in every room and a sewing machine for Porrim, and now they have small appliances in the kitchen, like a coffee maker. Unfortunately, the children cannot seem to get the recipe right and some of the boys claim to have stayed up for two days straight on a single cup. She doesn't doubt their claims, so she denies them access.
"I need help," Karkat says when she returns.
"With the writing? We could call someone."
"No, with the stick so firmly planted up my asshole."
"Don't use that human sarcasm on me, Karkat."
"The fuck is sarcasm?"
"It's when one is facetious, I think. I am not completely sure myself."
"Whatever," he scoffs. "Who are you going to call then?"
"Perhaps Dirk would be a good choice?"
Karkat looks as if he is gritting his teeth. "Why him?"
Kanaya tilts her head to the side. "Why not? He is human after all."
"B-because," he stammers.
Kanaya blinks. Could it be? "Are you jealous?"
Karkat turns red. "Fuck no!"
She turns back to writing. "It just seems like the convenient choice, since Dave is learning himself. He is nearly six now."
Karkat stumbles on some words, coming up with nothing substantial.
"Please do think on it."
Karkat harrumphs. "Fine. However, if the young ones consider this to be the most condescending bullshit ever, I would have to object, too."
"The only one being condescending here is you, Karkat."
"Me? Condescending? Hah!"
"That's my job, anyway," Eridan suddenly intervenes. Kanaya looks just in time to see Karkat twitch at Eridan's sudden appearance.
"Go away, Eridan!"
"I'm goin' to have to say no," he says calmly, turning to Kanaya. "Kan, somethin's goin' on with Fef and Nep, could you come a see?"
Kanaya puts down the pen after finishing the letter "L". "Oh, dear," she mutters. Those two have always gotten along, has something happened?
AND NOW FOR AN UNECESSARY FLASHBACK TO FOUR YEARS AGO, SPECIFICALLY THE TIME RIGHT AFTER KARKAT AND SOLLUX GOT BACK TO THE ISLAND.
"Tho, how weird wasth that?" Sollux asks Karkat as they hide in one of the blocks. Meenah would be looking for Karkat any second now, and Sollux's block seems like the best place to do that. Yes he knew she was clingy, but he just can't handle her right now. One step at a fucking time.
Karkat just didn't feel like responding. He was sure Kanaya would be a lot angrier than that after all this time. Was she so eager to forgive him? Maybe it was because he was hurt. He didn't have the courage to tell her it was from a blackrom-filled one-night-stand.
"Hello? KK?"
"What?"
"I wath juth thaying KN'th being weird."
"Everyone here is fucking weird, double-dutch."
"I know that, but we'll get to them later. I mean KN in particular."
"What about her?"
"Well, she went from happy to angry to contherned. I thought I wath the one who wath thupoth to have dual perthonalitieth."
"I don't know, Sollux." He tried to come up with some bullshit reason, but he couldn't do that to her, talk about her behind her back like that. He decides to change the subject. "So, the other night… Are we…?"
"I'd be cool with it."
"Wait, seriously?" Karkat turns to him a bit too fast. "It wasn't sudden or just a one-time thing?" He could feel his face burning with embarrassment. He had been the one to initiate it after all.
"Why not?"
"Well, I was going to say that it was really fast and felt pretty damn platonic from your end."
"Really? I thought I ekthprethed my conthensuality pretty well."
"God, you're infuriating."
"I hate you too, Karkat."
Screaming then ensued. It was Kanaya from the basement. Karkat and Sollux jump, startled. "The hell?!" Karkat is the first to arrive, unsure of how he even got there so fast. "Kanaya, what?"
She stands aside to reveal a fully mature mother grub, wings and everything. "She has sprouted her wings," she says proudly.
The rest of the adult trolls arrive thereafter. "And?" Karkat asks.
"And we can start repopulating," she explains simply. Karkat immediately breaks eye contact, observing the others. Sollux looks less than pleased, Eridan looks elated, Feferi looks excited for Kanaya, Nepeta looks away, and Vriska just smiles, no smirking in his direction and he gives her the one-finger salute.
"And so I was thinking that I would have joint lessons with our… children here on our island with Dave, as far as learning is concerned." Kanaya was pretty sure pitching the idea to Dirk would be an excellent strategy, especially over the summers, since he worked and didn't have anyone to take care of Dave.
"Sounds cool. He'll probably roll with it pretty easily." Dirk says something on his end, probably to Dave. "He wants to know if there's soda."
"We can get some, sure!" she answers. "What's soda?" she mouths to Karkat. He whispers that it's a carbonated drink that kids drink to get more excited, kind of like Faygo, but less mind-warpy. "Is Faygo alright?"
"Whatever you have he'll probably drink," says Dirk. "He's at that age where he can't tell the difference between sugary shit and other sugary shit. Hell, my taste isn't even that refined."
"I see."
"One thing I can tell you is that every day promptly at noon, his teacher calls my work and tells me that Dave wants to talk to me. I don't know how that's going to work out with you not having a phone there or anything."
"Hmm, l will need to get back with you tomorrow. I need to speak with Karkat and Sollux."
"Sollux is the computer one, right?"
"Precisely."
"Sounds good. I'll be back from work after nine tomorrow night. Dave is there after school so you could probably call before that."
"Alright, I will call you then."
"Thanks, Kanaya."
"Don't mention it." She hangs up. Karkat sits in a barstool, browsing over the menu indecisively.
"Karkat, we need to purchase a phone."
"Why? Isn't a computer enough?" he asks. "There is internet, right?"
"Unfortunately not. Humans don't have easy access to computers like we used to."
"Are they seriously that primitive?"
Kanaya looks about to see if any of the other patrons were taking offense, but none seemed to be paying attention. "I'm just saying that we might need one in order to function. We cannot depend on Miss Red forever."
Karkat shudders. "That woman gives me the oddest stares sometimes. It's like she's never seen a goddamn hat before."
"Well, you do wear it often, maybe she is just concerned that you have no others."
"But I don't."
She purses her lips. How else can she say this without sounding pretentious? "In any case, we need to talk to Sollux and ask how to get a phone installed."
"Sounds like a plan."
"By the way, have you considered getting another job?"
"Yes."
"Have you looked?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"And would you mind your own business? You're not my lusus." He gets off the stool and pushes past her, charging out the door.
Kanaya sighs and runs after him. "What about here? It's close and convenient enough."
"I'm not working anywhere near Miss Red's dining establishment."
"Fair enough. What about the mainland? I'm sure Vriska might know someone who is hiring."
"She has Gamzee for that. Ever since his hotel shut down, he's been her spotter." What?!
"He's been spotting for her?" Kanaya always spotted for Vriska when they were on Alternia. When they went out on the town trying to alleviate their debt, Kanaya kept an eye out for their enemies. She only needed a spotter when she was in the red. Kanaya had no idea she was that bad now. Kanaya clutches the hem of her shirt, then at her blood pusher. She knew she had been distant, but for Vriska to do this after so many years? No, this can't be possible.
"Whoa, Kanaya, you okay?" Karkat's hand is on her shoulder, his red eyes full of worry. She swallows before she answers.
"Let's get home."
"What the hell are you two doing?" Vriska says, opening the closet door to find two young trolls in very close proximity. They look like they had been on top of each other for a very long time. She couldn't see one of them because they were being blocked. The one blocking the other one was Horuss. He turns to Vriska, obviously caught off guard and startled, scrambling away to reveal two things she hasn't seen in a long time: a near-full bucket, and Damara.
Damara mutters something Vriska doesn't understand in annoyance. Wasn't she gone for years?
She turns to a semi-naked Horuss. "I'll deal with you later," she says through gritted teeth. She starts to raise her hand threateningly, but before it could scare him off, she turns it into a fist and forces it back down. "Go to your block!"
Damara mutters something else that sounds like, "You didn't have to yell at him."
"As for you, where have you been? And speak like a normal troll! You're pissing me off."
"If I must."
"What is that?" Vriska demands, pointing at the bucket.
"My gift to you," she yawns. "Two of your dead are very important to two of your living, and the grub that will come of our genetics will make either one or the other. I made sure of it this time."
"Gift? This time? What's your angle, shortstuff?" Vriska crosses her arms, cornering the troll, who is now up to her chest in height.
"I have no angle. I'm a wildcard." She winks and takes off down the hallway. Of course, Vriska chases after, not expecting to literally bump into Kanaya on the way.
"Vriska, was that Damara running just now?" Kanaya asks.
"Yes it was. I'll never catch her now. She got the jump on me." She sighs, turning away to go back to the closet, lifting the bucket carefully by its handle. That's the only part she will ever touch on these gross-ass objects. She hands it to Kanaya. "Now, don't you have a job to do?"
Kanaya takes the bucket, looking at it quizzically. "It can wait a few moments. I need to talk to you." She puts it down close to the wall.
"Am I in trouble, mom?"
"Far from it! What has gotten into you lately? I heard from Karkat that Gamzee was spotting for you."
That little twerp. "It's true."
"But you only need spotters when things are bad."
Her eye twitches. "Yep."
"Vriska, talk to me!"
That does it. "How about you do the same, huh?!" she explodes.
"Vriska—"
"I have been waiting for you to meddle in my affairs! Waiting for you! I hated it and I hated myself for wanting you to, but it looks like you have someone else to spill all your thoughts to!" She hadn't expected Kanaya to just not know everything because she always found out by meddling. She is shocked and appalled, but not speechless. "We have been here on this planet for seven years and I have no idea what the hell you're up to half of the time. And seeing as you have no inkling of what's going on in mine, I have no choice but to draw the conclusion that you just haven't cared or even noticed. I don't think you are even capable of handling more than one quadrant at a time! I'm sick of it. I'm sick of waiting, and I'm sick of you."
"But—"
"I know all of your excuses. Your meddling is contagious enough to me to know that you have one for everything. And guess what?" She didn't wait for Kanaya to say "what." "I'm done. I can't. I've put myself out there and you just haven't taken the bait." She turns on her heel, resisting the urge to take it all back. "It's over." She stalks away from her ex-moirail. "Go rant to Karkat or something!" she adds, driving the final nail into the burial box. She enters her block, slams her door, and rips off her coat, throwing it against the wall. She wants to break something, but the only breakable things in her room are priceless and valuable and they might need them later. Instead, she collapses on her bed and buries her face in the pillow, trying really hard not to regret the words that had been boiling in her since they landed.
What has she done?