Gym
The 8th grade class is crossed with 11th grade, everyone is taking turns hitting a punch bag
Gym Teacher: Okay, next! [Butters walks up to bag and turns his body sideways]
Butters: ...Wha- you talkin to me? Y-you talkin to me?
Gym Teacher: Leo, we do not tolerate setup talk
Butters: Oh oh sorry [stands a moment, then proceeds to beat up the bag and ending by hanging off of it]
Gym Teacher: Okay Butters, that s enough for today. Next! [Kyle comes up, he also waits a moment and beats up the bag, but does his punches one at a time and starts doing it normally and powerfully and headbutts and ball kicks]
Stan: {to Butters} He s pretty good!
Gym Teacher: Thank you Kyle! Next! [Cartman comes up, he taps the bag awkwardly with his fist]
Cartman: Okay
Gym Teacher: Hey, here s a riddle; beat it like you mean it
Cartman: That s not a riddle, that s a quote
Gym Teacher: Whatever
Cartman: {In his mind} Beat it like you mean it? What does that even mean? Maybe if I pretend that I m beating the shit out of Kyle [Cartman looks at the bag and imagines Kyle s face on the bag]
Kyle: {In Cartman s mind} Hi! I m a stupid Jew, and I ve pissed you off and also ruined you over 300 times!
Cartman: Gnnnrrrgh! [Cartman proceeds to beat the shit out of the bag, he even scratches the bag in the process]
Kyle: Jesus!
Gym Teacher: Eric, stop, stop, stop! [Cartman calms down] Next! [Cartman goes, Shelly Marsh comes up] Okay, Shelly, let s see what you in particular have in store for us [Shelly holds the bag still and punches the bag towards the audience, it uppercuts Stan and goes up, and comes back down and hits the Gym Teacher who is taken into the air before hitting the wall of the Gym and falling on the floor]
Cartman residence, Cartman comes home and is greeted by his mother
Cartman: Mom?
Liane: Eric, I d like you to meet your cousin [Liane shows Cartman his cousin, Elvin, chewing on a chewy strawberry lollipop]
Elvin: Well, hello there Christ-betraying love betraying sin making disrespectful asshole! [Cartman makes a face of scare and runs outside screaming]
Clyde: What s wrong with him?
Elvin: Your brother s a wanker
Stotch Residence, Butters is watching Family Guy
Peter: You think that s bad? Remember when Stewie got pregna-shut up meg!
Butters: Hehehe! [Phone rings, Butters pauses and answers the phone] Hello?
Cartman: Butters, it s me
Butters: Oh, hey Eric!
Cartman: Yeah, I m staying away, my stupid religious cousin s staying over
Butters: Oh pity
Cartman: So what are you doing?
Butters: Oh, well I was watching Family Guy before you called
Cartman: Family Guy? You still watch that stupid show?
Butters: Hey! You re not exactly supposed to take the show seriously! Also, you ll be happy to know that the show ended last year with a movie
Cartman: A movie? How well did it score?
Butters: Surprisingly good for the way people treat it now, It got a 6.7 on imdb
Cartman: Uh kay, [looks towards the town] *Sigh, Isn t it beautiful?
Butters: I don t know, I can t see
Cartman: Oh wait [turns on cam mode] There!
Butters: Hey, that s pretty cool, how d you do that?
Cartman: It s a part of IPhone 8
Butters: You re right, it is kinda beautiful
Cartman: Yeah, and people say us kids don t go outside anymore. It just boggles the mind, Kyle, Timmy, Clyde and Craig all go outside to the skatepark. How do these people not notice?
Butters: I don t know, it makes me worry about how many mentally ill people there are on the Internet these days
Cartman: *Sigh, remember when YouTube wasn t full of Stupidity?
Butters: No, and you re only 6 months older than YouTube
Back to Cartman Residence, Elvin is typing on his Computer, Clyde walks up to him
Clyde: Elvin, what the he-heck are you doing?
Elvin: I m digitalising the Bible and I ve written 18 pages worth, what do you think I m doing?
Clyde: Okay, first of all, I think that s already been done. Second, it looks like you re writing a fanfic
Elvin: What in lord s name is a fanfic?
Clyde: I don t know and I don t really wanna know [walks off]
Meanwhile at some random powerline
Guy 1: Okay, I m gonna need a plier
Guy 2: Here you go, guy 1
Guy 2: Thanks, guy 2 [Guy 1 takes the plier and clips a cable. Suddenly, the entire town goes dark]
Elvin: Let s see, now what was that line again?
Clyde: Dude, you know, with your attitude, you re not going to get people to follow the bible and you re also going hell for not loving thou neighbour [Lights turn off, Elvin looks at his Computer which turns itself off and he hasn t saved his work] No! NEEHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Butters: Hey, what the hell just happened?
Cartman: Um, Butters, did everyone just go to sleep at the same time?
Butters: No, I think there was a power cut
Cartman: Oh, well that s fucking perfect!