PREVIOUSLY ON LOCUM TENENS...
"Thanks but I don't think I can finish another one, Logan." Emily said, gracefully declining the heaping plate of French toast the man offered her.
"Oh come on. This is our Saturday tradition. Breakfast ala Hayes." Logan told the girl jovially. He then set the plate down beside him and offered Emily a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs instead.
"Dad, leave my girlfriend alone." Jai chimed, shaking her head in amusement.
"I guess I made it just in time. Like always." A brown-haired girl dressed in running attire said as she casually sauntered inside the dining room, taking off her earphones as she did so. She looked at the three girls inside the room then at the food on the table before returning her attention to one of the girls. "I didn't realize you have an uninvited guest." She said, staring pointedly at Emily.
"Well you should've thought of that before walking in here." Emily retorted, steeling herself for another round of bickering with her girlfriend's best friend, Paige McCullers.
"Guys, it's early." Jai pleaded. "Paige will you please just grab a plate?"
"You got in." Emily declared, looking at her girlfriend after she scanned the contents of the letter from King's College and breaking into a huge grin. "Oh my god Jai you got in!"
"I did?" Jai asked in disbelief.
Emily gave her girlfriend a quick kiss on the lips. "I knew you'd get in." She whispered softly. "Congratulations, love."
"What's this really about?" Jai asked, staring at her best friend. "Why are you suddenly so against me leaving?"
"I'm not." Paige replied, glancing at her friend. "I'm just making sure this is what you want."
"It's what I need." Jai corrected. "Of course I don't want to be away from Emily for so long. But I gotta do this. It's too good an opportunity to miss."
"Okay, then answer me this. Answer me this and I will never ever bring it up again." Paige swore. "What if somewhere along the way you realized that the person you envisioned yourself to be years from now isn't the same person you thought you wanted to be? What if life throws you for a loop and you realize it's not the future you wanted for yourself? Are you or are you not willing to change your plans if it means being with the girl you plan to marry in the end?"
"I guess I won this round. Again." Emily emphasized, looking at the girl pointedly.
Paige rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Whatever. Sniffles."
"Take that back!" Emily exclaimed.
"Sniffles. Sniffles. Sniffles." Paige said the word slowly, enjoying getting a rise out of Jai's girlfriend.
"Jai make her stop." Emily said, looking at Jai pleadingly.
"Jai make her stop." Paige repeated, mimicking the girl.
"Paige." Jai uttered warningly.
"Whipped." Paige retorted, rolling her eyes at her best friend.
"I wish you weren't going." Emily said, realizing now more than ever that she didn't want Jai to leave.
"Everything's going to be fine." Jai reassured the girl, hugging Emily tight before kissing the girl's head softly. When they finally pulled away, Jai sighed. It's now or never. "Listen. I know this is the worst timing in the world and it's a lot to ask considering what she just pulled back there but... I need you to look after Paige while I'm away."
"What?! Jai, I can't stand her!" Emily protested.
"I know. I know it's asking a lot. And I can't tell you why but I really need you to look after her. Please?" Jai begged.
"Why can't Kayla do it?" Emily asked, trying to worm her way out of the favor.
"Because... Kayla goes to Girard. She can only go home during the weekends so Paige is going to be alone most of the time. I don't want her to be alone." Jai explained. "Please? I promise to make it up to you when I return."
Emily sighed. "Fine. But just know that I am doing this against my will. And because I love you. A lot." She emphasized, finally giving her girlfriend a small smile.
"I'm not a kid, Jai. When I tell you I'm fine I mean it." Paige argued.
"I know. But just in case." Jai explained. "And I need you to look after Emily too."
"She has her friends. She doesn't need me." Paige said, refusing to spend time with the girl while Jai was away.
"I need you to do this for me. I trust you and she's the most important person in my life." Jai admitted.
"You're asking me to be your proxy." Paige stated.
"No. I'm asking you to be her friend." Jai corrected.
"Fine. I'll look after her. But just know that I am doing this against my will." Paige said, raising a finger warningly.
"Hand me the car keys Sniffles!" Paige exclaimed as she lunged at Emily, grabbing the girl's hand tighter than she intended.
"Geez. Ease up, Paige." Emily said as she finally released her grip on the keys and flexed her hand, surprised by the firmness of Paige's grip. "No wonder you've never had a girlfriend your entire life. You're heartless."
"I'm heartless? You're crying because Jai left. If anything I'm understanding and concerned. Excuse me for caring!" Paige said defensively.
"Is this how it's going to be between us while Jai's gone?" Emily asked, suddenly tired. "Because if the answer's yes I'd rather we stay away from each other until she returns."
"Believe me. I'd like nothing more than to do just that but I made a promise to my best friend last night and I intend to keep it. I'm looking after you. End of discussion." Paige stated firmly.
"Well dial down your enthusiasm. Don't do it because you're obligated." Emily said quietly.
"Why? You're looking after me for the same reason. If you had a choice you would love nothing more than to be rid of me. So quit whining." Paige snapped.
"UPenn, huh?" Nick said, the wheels in his mind working in overdrive that Paige could practically hear the gears shifting.
"Yeah." Paige uttered hoarsely, knowing what's about to come.
"It's an Ivy League school. Great opportunities waiting for you after you graduate." Nick began. "It wouldn't hurt to try. California is so far from here, honey." He continued, smiling tightly.
"But we talked about this already. You know how much I want to go there for college." Paige insisted.
"And I have nothing against you going to USC. I just think you shouldn't waste the opportunity to get into an Ivy League school. Especially if it means you can stay here." Nick explained gently.
"But I don't want to stay here. Dad, you know how much I'm looking forward to graduating and getting out of this place." Paige reminded her father.
Nick nodded. "I do. And you know that I understand why you want to leave. But you also have to think long-term. Unless you can convince me that USC is a better school I can't just let you ignore UPenn." He said with quiet authority.
"You're applying to UPenn?" Emily asked, praying the girl would say no.
"Believe me. I am as excited about the whole process as you." Paige answered, taking back her brochures from Emily and depositing it in her locker.
Emily felt conflicted. Helping Paige get into UPenn is like saying she enjoyed being called Sniffles and being made fun of so much so that she's looking forward to four more years of it in college. I'm sure I'm gonna regret this later. "About that."
"About what?" Paige replied, not looking at the girl.
"Your college application to UPenn. You still need my help in the extracurricular activities part, right?" Emily asked.
"Help is such a strong word." Paige said, refusing to admit the truth.
"So is please." Emily pointed out.
"You want me to beg?" Paige asked, knowing the girl was enjoying the whole thing.
"It wouldn't hurt." Emily admitted.
Paige heaved a sigh. "Please help me nail the extracurricular activities for my college application into UPenn." She said monotonously.
"That's the best you can do?" Emily asked, amused.
Paige shrugged. "It's all I've got." She answered.
"Fine. I'll take it." Emily said, slightly satisfied.
"I hate being around you." Emily finally said.
"Join the club. The same goes for me." Paige replied bitterly.
Emily shook her head. "No. It doesn't. Because unlike you, I am not a rude person. I am nice. Being around you turns me into this horrible person and I don't like it." She admitted.
"I see. Well I'll let you in on a secret. Nobody is just plain nice." Paige began. "I don't think you hate being around me. I think you hate to see a part of yourself that you try so hard to hide from others come out when you're with me." She corrected. "Because the truth is, being with me is the only time you get to be yourself."
"Who's this little guy?" Emily asked, holding up an orange monkey stuffed toy with yellow lips wearing a greenish tan T-shirt, bright red neckerchief, black pants/shoes, and a greenish tan beanie hat with blue stripe.
"It's Lazlo." Paige replied. "Of Camp Lazlo? Cartoon Network?" She continued when she saw the girl's confused look.
"Okay. But why do you have this? I didn't peg you to be the type of girl who's into stuffed toys. What? You're crazy about monkeys or something?" Emily asked as she started playing with the stuffed toy.
"It's a spidermonkey." Paige corrected, starting to get uncomfortable.
"That doesn't really answer my question." Emily said teasingly.
Paige rolled her eyes. "It's a gift." She replied.
"It's not me. The reason I wanted to take that red pill. That's the kind of reason written to get an A plus. It speaks of bravery. But it's not me. Those things I said in the paper… it's not how I really feel." Emily said quietly before looking at Paige. "You said you know me. The real me. So you know that I'm a coward for not wanting to give up all of this for something that isn't certain. What if I take the red pill and I don't like what I wake up to? Yours was better. Both the blue and red pill arguments." She said sincerely.
"Well I've been through so much crap I figured it could only get better." Paige reasoned, shrugging. They sat in heavy silence for a moment before she spoke up again. "It doesn't mean you're a coward for choosing to stay. I would too if I had your life." She admitted, meeting Emily's gaze. "One would be crazy to want to wake up. You have everything you want here. I understand why you'd want to stay. But I think one day you'll find the courage to take that red pill. When it truly matters, you'd take that leap of faith."
"You know you'd be more comfortable if you placed your things in the backseat." Paige suggested. "There's plenty of space back there." She added, jerking her right thumb behind them.
Emily shook her head. "It's fine. I like placing my things on my lap so I don't forget anything once I get out." She explained.
"In a hurry to leave, huh?" Paige said wryly.
"Don't take it personally. Whenever Jai gives me a ride in Logan's car I also hold on to my stuff. She keeps telling me to place my things at the back as well but unless we're traveling far, I like holding on to my things so I don't forget anything." She repeated. "Less hassle of having to go back for it especially if what I had with me was important."
"Is she the girl you have feelings for?" Emily asked cautiously.
"Maybe." Paige replied offhandedly.
"No she's not." Emily observed. "So what are you doing?" She asked, confused. "Why are you seeing all these other girls when you've liked someone else all this time?"
"I told you she's not available." Paige repeated.
"Because she's seeing someone." Emily added. "What's her name?"
Paige sighed. "Dominique." She answered, saying the first name that came to mind.
"I don't know any Dominique in Rosewood High." Emily said, mentally going through the names of girls in their school.
"That's because she doesn't go to our school." Paige explained.
"So where did you meet her?" Emily asked, now even more curious.
"Around. I've known her for years." Paige added.
"Do you love her?" Emily asked hesitantly.
"I used to. Now I don't know anymore." Paige answered, looking away. "It's complicated."
"So I got a call from Jai just now." Emily confided. "Did you know? About her plan to log in more hours starting next month?"
Paige nodded. "I did. But I thought you'd be fine with it because it meant Jai's coming home soon." She added. "I mean, you are. Right?"
"I told her I was fine with it." Emily answered softly. "And I thought I was. But I'm not." She confessed. "I do want her to come home soon. But I don't want the daily calls to stop. And I hate myself for being this selfish but I feel like everything's changing when she promised me before she left that it wouldn't."
"You have your friends. They can keep you company." Paige reminded Emily. "Before you know it you're gonna be standing at the airport waiting for her to exit the plane."
Emily smiled faintly. "I don't want to chew their ears off, talking about Jai nonstop when I'm with them." She admitted.
"Well I did promise Jai I'd keep you company from now on so if you need to keep talking about your girlfriend, you can always come find me… Emily." Paige added, making the girl look at her in surprise.
"You just called me by my name again." Emily said, breaking into a dazzling smile. "I was starting to think it was a fluke."
Paige shook her head. "It had to stop some time, right?" She said quietly. "I'm done calling you Sniffles. I can't do it anymore."
"What are you doing?" Paige asked, her brows furrowed in confusion as she watched the girl pick the pineapples off her pizza slice.
"Removing the pineapples." Emily answered, stating the obvious.
"Yeah. I can see that. Why?" Paige inquired, puzzled.
"I don't like it." Emily admitted.
Paige let out a short laugh. "So why did you get a Hawaiian pizza?" She asked, amused.
Emily shrugged. "I like the sweetness of the pineapple but not the fruit itself." She explained as she continued to remove the pineapples.
"You're weird." Paige stated, shaking her head.
"I'm not!" Emily said indignantly. "I just don't like pineapples in pizzas so I make Jai eat them since she loves them so much. But she isn't here so I have to throw these away." She explained, making a face.
"And from the look on your face I'm guessing you don't like the idea of doing that." Paige observed. "Fine. Put them in mine." She said after a beat, offering her slice of pizza so Emily can transfer the pineapples in it.
"I'll call you again before I leave here. Tell Paige the good news. I love you." Jai said earnestly.
"I love you too." Emily replied, waiting until the line went dead before moving the phone away from her ear and returning it inside her jacket's pocket. "She's coming home." She told Paige eagerly. She waited for the girl to turn around and face her but Paige's attention was focused elsewhere.
"Paige. Did you hear me? Jai's coming home in two weeks. Do you know what that means?" Emily asked.
"Yeah. It means playtime's over." Paige answered quietly.
...Today, the search and rescue operation for the flight that cost the lives of three hundred and eighty-seven people has been called off. America grieves with the families who have lost their loved ones in the tragic crash. The plane's fuselage has sunk to a depth that would risk the lives of even the most experienced of our divers and the President has decided to stop the operation. It is with a heavy heart that I am standing here today, bringing news that the ocean will serve as the grave of all the passengers and crew of Flight 715…
Paige swallowed hard, forcing herself to turn off the television but the news anchor's next words made her stop.
….We here at USN would like to extend our deepest condolences to the families and loved ones of the victims of the plane crash. Our thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of mourning. Reporting for USN...
Paige angrily shut off the television, putting the remote control back on top of the coffee table with more force than she intended. The news anchor's parting words hit a nerve and a part of her felt guilty because she wasn't mourning. She couldn't mourn because she's angry. She hastily left the living room and exited the house, slamming the front door behind her as she left to follow Emily and her friends. It was time to say goodbye.
"I want you to apologize for dying." Paige demanded, staring at Jai's marker which was illuminated by the moonlight. "On second thought, don't apologize. I don't want it. Or maybe I do. But I need you to forgive me for something worse so maybe we could call it quits instead. Or maybe I could just stay mad at you. Because this is your fault. This is entirely your fault. Or not. I don't know." She rambled on, starting to get restless.
"Anyway, what I really wanted to tell you is that you suck. You had to go and make all these plans with Emily and then promised her you'll come back and then you died. You freaking died." Paige repeated, distressed. "And you left me. You left me with this amazing, insanely beautiful girl and I needed you to come back so I could stop feeling this way about her. But instead you died on me. What am I supposed to do now? Huh? Tell me." Paige implored, closing her eyes briefly in anguish.
"Tell me I'm a horrible friend for feeling this way. Because I'm falling in love with her." Paige whispered helplessly. "This wasn't supposed to happen. But now I can't stay away. Because I made a promise to you, remember? That I would look after her while you're gone. But you're not coming back. So I have to keep looking after her. And I'm liking it too much." Paige confessed brokenly. "You suck. This is your fault. You should've listened to me. You shouldn't have left. I was doing fine pretending to hate her for years. I was resigned to being a complete jerk in Emily's eyes for the rest of my life because you two were perfect for each other and you made each other happy. But now you're gone and Emily is hurting and I don't know what to do. You suck."
"I never got to thank you for looking after me and calling my friends. Staying until one of them came over. Thank you." Emily said sincerely as they swayed in time to the music.
"Don't mention it." Paige answered, feeling herself blush. "I'm just glad you're feeling better."
"And thanks for planning a prom for me tonight." Emily whispered, making Paige look into the girl's eyes.
Thank me with a kiss. Paige thought as she held Emily's gaze. Before her brain could register what was happening, she saw Emily give her a soft smile and then lean forward, depositing a gentle kiss on her cheek before pulling away.
Paige's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "What was that for?" She asked, her heart pounding wildly and her skin tingling at the feel of Emily's lips on her cheek just now.
Emily gave the surprised girl a sweet smile. "You said to thank you with a kiss." She answered, making Paige realize that she said those words out loud. "I know you keep insisting we're not but... you've been such a good friend to me lately." She admitted before closing the distance between them and resting her head on Paige's shoulder. "So thank you." Emily uttered sincerely.
"I don't have to cry just to show people I'm mourning." Paige argued. "We all mourn in a different way."
"Okay… so what would it take to make you cry then?" Emily asked, inclining her head to the side as she studied the girl thoughtfully.
Paige glanced at Emily. "I don't know. It's not like I spend my time thinking of ways to cry." She pointed out dryly.
"But if there is one thing that would make you cry, what is it?" Emily asked softly.
Paige bit her bottom lip as she thought about her reply. "A broken heart."
"So what? Now you really plan on going to UPenn? Is that it?" Emily asked anxiously.
"I'm not going there to make your life miserable if that's the reason why you're so upset right now." Paige reassured her.
"You just lied to me about getting in." Emily pointed out. "Why should I believe you?" She asked warily. "All this time the only thing that's keeping you from reverting to your old ways is the promise-"
"Just once will you shut up about the promise?!" Paige exclaimed, fed up. "You've been saying those words every single time you're around me. Like you constantly need to remind yourself that the only reason you're spending time with me is because of Jai. Well guess what? I didn't look after you for Jai. I stopped looking after you for her when she died. I stuck around for you." She finally confessed. "I'm not heartless." Paige whispered, unable to meet Emily's eyes. "So it hurts that all this time you still tell me that the only reason you're here is because you're merely honoring your promise to Jai. I represent the promise you made to her. Nothing more. And that really sucks."
"Why?" Emily asked, baffled by Paige's words.
"You seriously don't know the answer to that question?" Paige replied in disbelief.
"No. I don't. So will you just stop with the mind games?! What do you want from me?!" Emily asked, fed up.
"I want you to care! Because I do! I care about you!" Paige admitted emotionally. "This isn't about the promise anymore. I forgot about that a long time ago." She continued, studying Emily's reaction. "But apparently the same can't be said for you."
"How could you expect me to care when for three years all you did was make my life in high school a living hell?!" Emily replied angrily. "What? You just expect me to forget all those years?"
"I'm sorry for what I said to you. For getting upset when I heard that you got accepted into UPenn." Emily explained hoarsely.
"I shouldn't have lied about it." Paige said in apology as well.
"Yeah. You shouldn't have. But I get why you lied. My reaction proved you right I guess." Emily admitted reluctantly.
"Why did you react that way?" Paige asked, placing Emily's peace offering on top of her study table.
"I'm scared. Jai's gone. And you're going to UPenn." Emily began, eyes on the floor. "I'm scared of being around you in college."
"Why?" Paige asked, puzzled. "I thought we've been getting along?"
"We have." Emily answered hurriedly. "But I always thought it wasn't going to last. That once we graduate the promise won't matter anymore because you're going to USC and I'm headed to UPenn." She admitted, feeling guilty. "Because the truth is, the months you spent pretending to be nice to me weren't enough to make me forget the years you spent making my life miserable."
"I wasn't pretending." Paige told the girl sincerely.
"Even so." Emily insisted. "Jai was always there. When you made fun of me. She was always there to tell you to stop. But things are different now. If you go to UPenn..."
"You still see me as someone who would make fun of you." Paige stated, realization dawning on her.
"I wouldn't put it past you." Emily affirmed. "You hurt me so much, Paige. And I guess I really don't trust you."
"Emily, things are different now. I'm not going to UPenn just to torture you." Paige promised. "I can't even begin to apologize for being such a jerk to you for years. I didn't know things would turn out this way." She confessed hoarsely. "I care about you."
"I want to believe that." Emily admitted. "And I hope you mean it. Because I care about you, too."
Emily sat on the edge of her bed, her hands trembling as she held Jai's gift. She took a deep breath and finally opened it, taking the heavy object out. She smiled when she saw the snow globe. Inside was a three-dimensional entrance to UPenn and standing in front of it were two girls holding hands. Emily read the inscription at the bottom and choked back a sob.
Forever begins today.
Emily touched the locket on her neck instinctively and looked up to stare at the vision board she and Jai made together. She set down the snow globe on her bed and stood up, slowly making her way towards it. She took the vision board off the wall and stared at it closely. She didn't realize she was crying until a tear fell on the surface of the photo of the old couple sitting on the porch swing of the house with the white picket fences. Emily felt her knees buckle and then she was on the floor, crumpled in a heap as she wept in agony.
It's over. None of these... will ever come true.
"You stole that from Rosewood High!" Emily said accusingly. "Not to mention you were breaking and entering!"
"Is it considered breaking and entering if I have a set of keys to the entire place?" Paige asked sheepishly. "And I didn't steal it because technically that board belongs to you. I just decided to take it back."
"I thought you said it should serve as an inspiration to others?" Emily asked, her eyes never leaving her vision board.
Paige nodded. "It should. But right now I think you need it more than anyone else." She explained gently. "I saw what you did to the vision board you and Jai made. And then I remembered the one we made individually. I guess I decided to take this back because I wanted you to know that just because Jai's dead it doesn't mean that your dreams should die with her as well. Everyday I walked the halls of that school and I stopped by your vision board because it inspired me. You inspired me. I hope someday I'll see the girl who made this again." Paige said softly.
"Good form out there." The girl said in greeting, smiling down at Paige warmly.
Paige stopped stretching and looked up. "Thanks." She replied before bending her knees and resting her arms on top of it. "Anything else you want to say to me?"
"Like what?" The girl asked, her green eyes twinkling in amusement. "I don't even know you."
"Yeah you do. I was the girl you almost ran over this morning with your bike." Paige told the girl accusingly.
The girl let out a short laugh. "Oh, so you were that girl who needed a lesson when crossing the street." She said, recognition finally dawning in her eyes.
"You almost ran me over and that's all you have to say?!" Paige uttered incredulously. "Did you come over here just to tell me that you're not sorry?"
"Hey I came over here not knowing who you are. You're the one who started it." The girl pointed out wryly. "I wanted to introduce myself. I'm Reese." She said, extending a hand to Paige. "Gabriel."
"You're the team captain?!" Paige exclaimed incredulously.
"Oh, so you've heard of me." Reese said, grinning smugly. "What's your name, newbie?"
"Paige McCullers." Paige answered reluctantly, shaking Reese's outstretched hand.
"Are you gonna answer that?" Spencer asked, distracting Emily from her musing as she nodded her head towards the vibrating phone on top of Emily's bedside table.
Emily drew the curtains close and headed for her bedside table to pick up her phone, frowning when she saw that it was a blocked number.
"Hello?" Emily said in greeting once she put the phone to her ear. "Hello?" She repeated when she didn't hear an answer. "Who's this?" She asked, moving the phone away from her ear when the line went dead and staring at it quizzically.
"Who was it?" Spencer inquired.
Emily shrugged. "I don't know. There's no answer. It's probably just a wrong number." She said dismissively.
"I didn't forget." Paige uttered softly, those three words ebbing Emily's anger. "Did you really think I would forget?" She asked, trying to make Emily look at her but the girl wouldn't so she continued instead. "I know what today is the moment I opened my eyes this morning and I've been running around all day trying to get you a present."
Emily kept her gaze down, unable to meet Paige's eyes for fear that the girl will see the emotions playing across her features right now. She was moved, she was frustrated. She was happy, she was annoyed. She was speechless.
"Happy eighteenth, Em." Paige said softly. "Are you still mad at me?"
"Still?" Emily asked, looking at the girl curiously.
Paige laughed. "I could feel your anger the second you stepped out of the elevator." She pointed out. "So are you still mad at me?"
Emily shook her head. "No. How can I possibly stay mad?" She asked, instinctively leaning forward and depositing a soft kiss on Paige's cold cheek. "Thank you." She said once she pulled back.
It's not possible.
Emily thought as she took in the girl standing in front of her. Lately she's been looking forward to spending time alone with Paige, laughing at the simplest things the girl said. And she noticed everything Paige did. Like the way the girl tucked her hair behind her ear and the way Paige brought her thumb and middle finger to her mouth to pinch the corner of her lips. And it just made her smile. Seeing Paige's quirks. She didn't know what to make of it. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew what it was. She just didn't dare pay attention to it.
Until tonight.
Because she's so happy that Paige remembered her birthday and she couldn't ignore it anymore.
It's not possible. Right?
It can't be.
And then three things happened at once.
A gentle wind blew past them, making Paige tuck another loose strand of hair behind her ear self-consciously,
Emily's stomach fluttered,
And her heart... skipped... a beat…
"Em, wouldn't it be easier if you just told her how you feel?" Kayla asked, giving the girl a knowing look.
"What are you talking about? I don't feel anything for her." Emily lied, feeling her cheeks burn.
"And I haven't been crushing on Paige since I hit puberty." Kayla shot back wryly. "You do know she likes you too, right? Just tell her."
"I really don't know how." Emily admitted nervously. "I mean, it's not like I can just come right out and say it."
"Why not?" Kayla asked, looking at Emily quizzically.
"How exactly am I gonna do that?" Emily uttered helplessly. "Hey Paige, how's it going? Good? Oh, by the way, lately I've been fighting this strong urge to kiss you whenever we're together. How about you?"
"Yeah." Kayla replied, smiling at the girl encouragingly.
"I'm not gonna say that!" Emily protested, the mere thought of saying those words to Paige making her palms sweat and her pulse race.
"Come on. What's the worst that could happen?" Kayla challenged.
Emily stared at Jai's sister disbelievingly. "Oh, I don't know. She laughs in my face and starts calling me Sniffles again?"
"Or she could lean forward and actually kiss you like you've been wanting her to." Kayla shot back.
"So, are you going to tell me why you've been avoiding me?" Paige suddenly asked.
"I'm not avoiding you." Emily replied.
"Yes, you are." Paige said softly. "You've been avoiding me all day and I don't know why."
Emily heard the hurt in Paige's voice and glanced at the girl. "I'm sorry." She finally said. "I'm just trying to figure out some things."
"What does that have to do with avoiding me?" Paige asked, looking at the girl.
Emily's gaze traveled to Paige's lips and she looked away, scared that the girl would realize the truth. "Your shoelaces are untied." She pointed out when her eyes drifted to the ground and she saw Paige's sneakers. "You should probably tie it first before we keep walking."
"Can you hold this for a sec?" Paige asked as she handed the umbrella to the girl.
Emily watched as Paige crouched and began fixing her shoelaces, making sure that the tiny umbrella was covering the girl. "Hey Paige?" She said quietly when she realized that she forgot to thank the girl earlier.
"Yeah?" Paige replied distractedly as she finally stood up. "I'll take that now." She said as she took from Emily's hand the umbrella once again. "You were saying something?"
"Yeah. I, uh... forgot to do something when you picked me up." Emily continued as she stared intently at Paige.
"Oh yeah? What's that?" Paige asked as she looked down both ends of the street to see if they can cross it.
"This." Emily replied as she leaned forward to kiss Paige on the cheek just as the girl turned to face her.
"Okay, let's-" The rest of Paige's words never made it out of her mouth the second she felt Emily's lips brush against hers and they both pulled back in surprise.
Emily swallowed hard, the sensation taking her breath away yet wanting to feel it again. Paige stared at the girl standing in front of her, silently asking what to do next. She didn't need to wait for an answer. Because just as quickly as she pulled back, Emily closed the distance between them and kissed Paige once again, one hand grabbing Paige by the waist to pull the girl closer to her while her other hand cupped Paige's cheek as Emily deepened the kiss.
"It's been a week. We need to talk about it." Paige said, trying to catch up to the girl.
"Why? What happened was a fluke. A mistake. It won't happen again." Emily insisted as she crossed the street, barely fighting the urge to make a run for it.
Paige followed Emily, determined not to let the opportunity pass. "So, what? You're just going to avoid me until we graduate?" She asked incredulously. "Em, come on. Don't say it was a mistake. Hey." She uttered as she firmly grabbed Emily's arm, forcing the girl to face her. "It wasn't a mistake. Kissing you will never be a mistake. Not when I've been wanting to do that for quite some time."
"Paige, just forget about it." Emily said pleadingly, looking away.
Paige shook her head. "I can't. I don't want to. I tried, Em. But I can't stop thinking about you." She confessed earnestly. "I like you a lot. I think we should see where things go."
"It was just a kiss, Paige. Don't get ahead of yourself." Emily reprimanded the girl.
"You can't honestly tell me that you didn't feel anything when I kissed you back. When we were kissing. This isn't one-sided." Paige insisted, releasing her grip on Emily's arm. "I know you're attracted to me. You wouldn't have kissed me like that if you weren't. You don't go around kissing someone like that and then expect them to forget. It was mind-blowing."
"Paige... it's still Jai." Emily admitted, looking at the girl apologetically.
Paige nodded. "I know. But I can wait. I don't mind waiting." She promised.
"I'm not upset!" Emily exclaimed.
"You're crying." Paige pointed out.
"I'm not." Emily argued, finally looking at the girl.
Paige cradled Emily's cheek tenderly, the gesture making the girl's pulse race. "You can't hide your tears from me, Em. I can tell you're crying. Please just tell me why." She implored.
Emily swallowed hard as she started playing with the hem of the towel, twisting it in her hands. "I'm really scared." She whispered, not meeting the girl's eyes.
Paige took the towel from Emily's hands and threw it at the backseat of her car so the girl won't be distracted. "Scared? Of what?" She asked, confused. "Em." Paige coaxed when the girl kept silent.
Emily finally stared into Paige's concerned, brown eyes, her gaze traveling to the girl's soft lips and she did the only thing her body told her to. With one quick movement, Emily leaned forward and closed the distance between their bodies, capturing Paige's lips on hers as she kissed the other girl hungrily.
"What did Cesca mean when she said you ruined her life? Was she one of the girls you strung along?" Emily asked accusingly.
"What? No. Cesca's straight. And I was never a player. Not now and certainly not when I was in Girard! Why won't you believe me?" Paige asked, the frustration evident in her voice.
"You're not giving me reason to." Emily pointed out.
"Em, you've known me for years." Paige reminded the girl.
"I was around you for years." Emily corrected. "I didn't know you. You refused to let me in. You were just Jai's best friend who treated me horribly for years-"
"And I've been trying to make up for it." Paige interjected. "I'm telling you the truth. I was never a player." She repeated firmly.
Emily sighed. "I think I made a mistake. I shouldn't have said yes. It's too soon."
Paige studied Emily's dress and the jacket she was wearing, which barely reached the girl's thighs. "I'm driving you home." She decided.
Emily shook her head. The last thing she wanted was to spend more time alone with Paige. "That's not really necessary-"
"I am not letting you ride a bus at this hour wearing next to nothing." Paige said firmly. "I'm driving you home. Let me just get my keys."
"I'm not riding in a car with you until you and I talked." Emily declared.
Paige turned around, surprised. "That's a first. What do you want to talk about?" She asked offhandedly.
"I thought we agreed it was better to stop things before it got intense? You said those words." Emily reminded Paige as she watched the girl pace the living room, her posture rigid.
Paige stopped in her tracks and faced Emily. "Because it's what you wanted. I never said I agreed to it." She argued.
"You said you're fine with it." Emily pointed out.
"Because it's what you wanted." Paige repeated, barely able to hide her frustration. "What was I supposed to do when in your mind you think I'm just playing you?"
"That's the problem. You gave up too easily." Emily said, looking away.
Paige saw the hurt in the girl's eyes and she snapped. "So now it's my fault?!" She asked incredulously, unable to believe that Emily was the one feeling hurt after what happened. "You're the one who's scared!"
Emily stared disbelievingly at Paige. "I have good reason to be scared. I needed you to reassure me that you do like me but instead you just told me that it's fine if we stopped. You didn't even try!" She exclaimed.
Paige scoffed. "Oh. Wow. My bad. I'm sorry I wasn't being obvious enough everytime I kiss you back." She shot back sarcastically. "I tried, Em. Don't tell me I didn't. If I didn't like you I wouldn't have agreed to sneak around. I would've told you to just forget about it because I'm not that interested anyway. But I didn't. Because I really wanted to be with you. Even if we have to keep it from everyone else. That's how much I like you."
"I just feel like Paige has a lot of secrets and she won't tell me any of them. She's keeping me at a distance and it's frustrating." Emily confessed.
Kayla smiled at the girl understandingly. "Em, everyone has secrets. And the only way for you to know them is if you earn the unwavering trust of the person keeping them." She reminded the girl. "Paige's secrets aren't bad. I can tell you everything about her but it took me years to earn her trust and I'm not gonna throw that away." Kayla said apologetically. "You and Paige. Even if you've been in each other's lives for years, it wasn't until recently that you've gotten close so you can't expect her to just willingly tell you about her life just because you asked her to." She added wryly. "I know you're frustrated. But getting mad at Paige won't make her open up to you. If anything, you'll only push her away."
"So what do I do?" Emily asked, her gaze drifting to Paige and saw that the girl was looking at her as well.
"Show her you're not going anywhere. That's a good place to start earning her trust." Kayla promised.
"Thanks for telling me those things." Emily said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I know it couldn't have been easy for you."
"It wasn't." Paige admitted, her gaze never leaving the girl's.
"So why did you do it?" Emily asked, taking a small step towards Paige.
"I just... I thought... maybe if I said something... about me... that I could change your mind... about us." Paige confessed, her voice hoarse. "I know you have a lot of questions. And that I have a lot of secrets... about my past. My life. But I can't share them all with you. Not yet."
"I know. And I'll wait until you're ready." Emily answered, making the girl let out a short laugh in relief.
Paige stepped forward and held Emily's hand to pull the girl close to her. She rested her forehead on Emily's shoulder, reveling in the feel of the girl's body against hers. She missed holding Emily in her arms. "I don't want to be just your friend, Em." She whispered brokenly. "I really tried. But I can't. I don't want to."
"Good. Because I don't want to be just your friend either." Emily confessed, hugging Paige back. "I missed you."
Paige gently cradled Emily's cheek and caressed it as she stared into the girl's eyes. "I missed you, too."
"I need you to promise me something." Emily whispered in Paige's ear. "I need you to promise me... that if it hurts too much... promise me you'd walk away and let me go." She pleaded, tears falling from her eyes.
Paige held the girl closer to her when she felt Emily's warm tears on her neck. "Okay." She answered, holding Emily as the girl cried. "But just so you know... you're not gonna get rid of me that easily." Paige promised earnestly. "I'm not giving up."
"Do you want to stop?" Paige asked as she moved to kiss the girl's collarbone.
"No." Emily managed to say before Paige's lips captured hers again and she slowly moved her arms, tangling her hands in the girl's soft hair.
Paige was all too aware of the feel of the girl's body underneath her and for the first time she felt herself starting to lose the battle with her hormones. Her hand, the one resting lightly on top of Emily's thigh, began to travel upwards; slowly making its way to the hem of Emily's top and Paige's heart began to hammer wildly. Her brain wasn't functioning anymore. She was moving on autopilot and all she knew was that she wanted Emily. Bad. Paige heard herself moan when Emily deepened their kiss and she began to gently lift the girl's top. Her hand slowly made its way under Emily's shirt and when her palm made contact with the girl's warm skin, Paige pressed her body closer to Emily's.
"Paige..." Emily whispered when she felt the girl's palm on her stomach. She disentangled one hand from Paige's hair, her breathing ragged as she moved her hand to the hem of her shirt to stop the girl from going further.
Hearing her name escape from Emily's lips pushed Paige one step closer to losing all pretense of not wanting to do more and she slowly moved her hand further up the girl's shirt, stopping just below Emily's breasts.
"Stop." Emily uttered, a familiar feeling of panic overcoming her. When she felt Paige's fingers graze her bra, Emily uttered the first thing that came to mind. "Jai, stop it."
"I say Jai's name by mistake and you let Kayla kiss you so now we're even?" Emily asked, feeling like the two days they've spent mending what they have was caused by Paige's guilt.
"I did not let Kayla kiss me. I didn't call you because I felt guilty after what happened. I called because I realized something." Paige hurriedly said. "Talking to Kayla reminded me of why I'm still around. Why I wanted for things to work out between us." She explained gently. "I didn't call you because she kissed me and I felt guilty." Paige repeated, taking the girl's hand.
"I kept telling you she likes you but you wouldn't believe me." Emily reminded the girl, torn between being jealous and hurt.
"It doesn't matter. Because I love you." Paige confessed.
"What?" Emily uttered, slowly removing her hand from the girl's. "Paige... you can't." She said, feeling like she was about to faint.
"It's okay if you can't say it back. Not right now." Paige told the girl understandingly.
Emily shook her head. "I don't want to hurt you more than I already have so I'm telling you now. I can't say it back." She confessed. "Please don't say those words again." She whispered, her hands trembling.
"I need a break." Paige told Emily in one breath. "From us. For a week."
"A week?" Emily repeated, the girl's words slowly sinking in.
"It's only temporary." Paige said hurriedly. "I just need to figure out some things. About us. This." She continued, pointing to Emily then to herself.
"Because of what happened. What you said and what I said after." Emily clarified.
Paige shook her head. "That's not the only reason. There's a bigger one." She confessed, earning a surprised look from Emily. "The thing is... lately I feel as if I'm living Jai's life. I've spent so much time around the two of you while you and Jai discuss your future it's like I've committed to memory what your plans were. So now I feel as if I'm taking over what's supposed to be Jai's life here in UPenn. That I'm taking her place in your life."
"That's not true. I care about you, Paige. I wouldn't be with you if I didn't." Emily reassured the girl. "I wish you'd believe me when I tell you that."
"And I wish it was that simple." Paige admitted. "But I need this."
"Okay." Emily uttered, holding on to the girl's hand for a few more seconds before finally telling herself to let it go. "If it will help you figure out things, okay." She repeated, swallowing a lump that suddenly formed in her throat.
"Thank you." Paige said, smiling faintly.
"I mean... it's only for a week, right?" Emily asked, meeting Paige's eyes and trying to smile as well. "After a week you'll come back. Right?" She repeated hoarsely.
"Why would you still want to be with me?" Emily asked, swallowing a lump that formed in her throat. "You already got out. You dodged a bullet. You were doing fine without me."
Paige shook her head. "I wasn't." She confessed. "Something was missing."
"I'm an emotional mess." Emily admitted. "I still can't give you what you want. I can't say those words. And that's one of the reasons why you left. Right?"
"That's also the reason why I had to come back." Paige answered softly. "I'm stubborn. And I told you before that you won't get rid of me that easily. I'm not gonna let you push me away. Not when I know you feel something for me."
Emily's vision blurred and she tried to speak but the tears came and she choked back a sob instead. Paige gently wiped the tears on Emily's cheeks. "At the end of the day I still want to come home to someone and be able to tell them about my day. Have dinner with them, sleep next to them. I want to open my eyes the next day and see them lying next to me. That's what's missing." She continued, moving closer to the girl and resting her forehead against Emily's. "Coming home to you is the best part of my day. And I want that back." She whispered, lifting one hand to cradle the girl's tearstained cheek. "I want you back."
Emily tried to speak again but her throat constricted and a fresh wave of tears fell from her eyes. Paige was saying all the perfect things to her and it left her speechless.
"I'm not leaving you again." Paige promised. "If all it takes is for one person to not give up on you so you could open your heart again then I am going to keep coming back. Because I want you to believe that you will love again and I want to be the girl standing next to you when that time comes."
Emily took a deep, shaky breath and smiled through her tears. "I want it to be you, too."
Emily creased her brows. "What's this?" She asked, taking the box and studying it.
"Open it." Paige urged, trying to hide her nervousness. She let out the breath she was holding in when Emily smiled when the girl saw the intertwined blue, yellow and pink threads. "I know it's nothing fancy. I just had this idea of making a bracelet instead of buying you one. More personal." She explained. "And I want you to wear it... when you're ready to be with me." She continued, tucking a strand of hair behind the girl's ear.
"No, you're more important." Paige corrected, finally looking up at the girl. "I don't understand why you don't get that."
"I get it." Emily said, taking a seat next to Paige. "I get how important I am to you. But you're important to me, too. That's why I got mad when I found out you lied to me. I promised I would help you but I won't be able to do that if you keep making decisions like this. I don't want you to sacrifice your future for me, Paige." She continued, giving the girl a worried look. "Don't you have plans?"
"So now you're saying I don't aspire enough." Paige stated, hurt.
"I think you don't want more for yourself." Emily pointed out.
"I do want more. I have goals. Dreams. When I was five I wanted to be a singer. Guess what? A few months later I found out I was tone deaf. I decided to be a dancer instead. Turns out I have two left feet. An architect, not good in drawing. I have had dreams, Emily. But when you can't reach them, you find a new goal. A new dream." Paige insisted.
Emily shook her head. "No you don't. If you want it bad enough you better yourself and find a way to reach your dream. Not just give up." She pointed out.
"Then I guess I haven't found something I want bad enough. But that doesn't make me incapable of wanting more for myself." Paige argued.
"Yeah. It only makes you indecisive." Emily replied.
"No matter what, you will always find fault in me. I can't win with you." Paige said dejectedly.
"Come on. Give me the book. Let's multitask by playing a game." Emily suggested, extending a hand.
Paige quickly moved the book away from the girl's outstretched hand. "What? But I thought you're going to help me study?" She asked, confused.
Emily nodded. "I am. I just think it'd be fun if we add a little incentive." She said mischievously.
"Okay. What? Like candy if I get the correct answer?" Paige asked dubiously, completely missing the girl's playful tone.
Emily rolled her eyes. "No. What are you? In kinder?" She shot back. "How about this? You get three chances to answer a question. If you get it right the first time, I'll kiss you." She explained matter-of-factly.
Paige slowly grinned. "I like the sound of that. If I get it right the second try?" She asked.
"You get to kiss me." Emily revealed.
Paige nodded thoughtfully. "Not bad. And the third try?" She continued.
"I'll give you a high five." Emily answered with a straight face.
Paige laughed at the girl's joke but stopped when she noticed the serious expression on Emily's face. "You're kidding, right? Not even a kiss on the cheek?" She asked, disappointed.
"Nope. High five." Emily replied adamantly.
"Like buddies?" Paige reluctantly asked, raising one hand to try it out.
Emily raised hers and quickly slapped the girl's hand, proving her point. "Like buddies." She repeated.
"So, what's her name? And when are we going to meet her?" Hanna asked, leaning closer towards her friend.
"Um... soon." Emily answered vaguely. "Just... I'm not ready. Not right now. But she's amazing. And she makes me happy." She admitted, smiling at the thought of Paige.
"I'd say you're more than happy, Em." Aria observed. "I'm pretty sure we're all in agreement." She added as she glanced at Hanna and Spencer. "Your smile says it all. This girl must be really special."
"Hey, Jai." Emily began once she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "It's me. I know I haven't visited for quite a while. I've been sort of busy with school." She explained, biting her bottom lip anxiously. "Actually that's not entirely true." She admitted after a beat. "I just couldn't bring myself to come here since... but I'm here now." She said instead.
Emily uncrossed her arms and placed one hand inside the pocket of her jeans, her hand clasping on something. "I won't stay long. I just need to say something." She continued, her voice trembling. "Losing you... when I lost you, I thought I wouldn't be able to handle it. And for a while I couldn't. But someone was there for me the whole time I was grieving. You were right. Paige is really great. More than great actually. She's been amazing." Emily admitted, a small smile playing on her lips.
"And she's been so patient with me. We've been doing this thing between us. It just sort of happened." Emily added. "I didn't know what it meant. Or where it was headed. Until last night. I really like her, Jai. I think I might even feel something more. I don't know." She said, running a hand through her hair. "I want to see where things go with her. What happened last night changed everything and the truth is I don't regret it. It's okay, right? If I let you go?" She asked, a tear running down her cheek. "You'd want me to be happy again, right? Well Paige does that. She makes me happy so I want to make her happy too."
Emily took out the object inside her pocket and stared at the bracelet Paige gave her until her vision blurred. "I guess I came here because I'm saying goodbye to you. I... I'm letting you go."
"What's the occasion?" Paige asked, staring at the dinner spread before her.
Emily shrugged. "Nothing. I just felt like celebrating." She answered vaguely, trying to keep her expression neutral.
"Celebrating what?" Paige prodded.
"A new beginning." Emily finally answered. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves and placed one hand inside the pocket of her jeans, playing with the bracelet as she prepared to deliver her speech. "Last night I-"
"Saved by the chicken?" Paige asked when the sound of the doorbell resonated in the house. "Why don't we save that conversation for later? You look like you're about to pass out."
Emily gave Paige a weak grin, torn between feeling relieved and frustrated. "Sorry. I'll go get it. Just stay there." She said, walking past the girl to answer the door.
Paige shook her head in amusement then spotted something near Emily's side of the table so she got up to reach for it. "I better save her the trip." She muttered as she headed for the living room.
"Can't exactly pay for the chicken if you leave your wallet, Em." Paige added, talking to herself. She turned the girl's wallet over and over in her hands, watching her step as she made her way to the front of the house. She looked up and was about to call out to Emily but the sight before her made her stop in her tracks.
"Hello, love."
Paige felt her blood run cold when she heard that voice, certain that she was about to pass out from the shock.
Emily didn't want to believe it was really Jai standing in front of her but when she felt the girl's arms around her she realized it wasn't a dream. It is Jai. Alive. And the stunning realization made her instinctively wrap her arms around the other girl.
"You're alive." Emily whispered before closing her eyes and pulling Jai closer.
Paige stared at the reunited couple, the sense of dread she felt that morning returning with such overwhelming force that she felt suffocated.
"Jai." Paige uttered breathlessly, feeling like her heart just shattered into a million pieces...
And now... their story continues...