26
Moving Day Mishaps-Part One
"Eeevveerrybody uupppp!" Neal sang the way his father sometimes did when he was a child to get him out of bed down at the four toddlers asleep on the air mattress in the living room and he was given four very cranky stares in response. Just like I did, eh Papa? Sometimes I think you're doing this on purpose. "C'mon guys, today's moving day. Aren't you excited?"
"Too early to get up!" Rumple grouched, throwing his pillow over his head.
"Wanna sleep more," Regina agreed, turning over.
"Do it later.." Killian mumbled.
"M'tired," threw in Belle.
Neal smirked. Then he started singing another song his father used to sing to him. "It's time to rise and shine, rise and shine, and say hello to Mr. Sun! Get out of bed, you sleepyheads the day has begun!"
The kids all groaned and buried their heads in their pillows.
Emma came out of the bedroom rubbing her eyes. "Neal? I thought it was a cat screaming," she teased. "Don't quit your day job, hon."
"Oh, thanks! You want to help me get these lazy pups out of the nest?"
Emma nodded. "Hey, kids! Who wants chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast? Last one up is a rotten egg!"
"Ohhh, I'm coming!" Regina squealed, jumping up and racing into the kitchen.
Neal scowled at his girlfriend.
Emma laughed. "Oh, quit pouting! That always worked on me!"
"M'not bein' a rotten egg!" Killian declared and got up himself. He loved chocolate chip pancakes.
Rumple was still sleepy and lolled on the mattress. Sometimes he wasn't very hungry in the morning.
"You comin', Rumple?' Belle asked. "M'really hungry."
Sighing, Rumple rolled over and sat up. "Mmmhmm . . .I guess . . ." He rubbed his eyes and followed Belle. "Where's Henry?"
"I dunno...probably still sleeping."
"Why's HE get to sleep and I don't?" asked a cranky sorcerer.
"Oh, don't worry, he's getting up!" Neal said determinedly and stalked over to Henry's bedroom door. "Up an' at 'em!" he bellowed, opening the door.
Henry promptly stuffed his ears with some cotton balls and went back to sleep.
"Oh, is that how we're gonna play it? How would you like to get watered?" Neal threatened.
Regina, who was standing outside Henry's bedroom door, rubbed her hands and grinned her Evil Queen grin.
"I can do it!" she boasted.
"Boy, is he gonna be mad," Killian chuckled.
"Well, Neal said we had to get up and he's not getting up..." Belle pointed out.
"Can I do it, Bae? Huh? Can I soak em?" Regina begged.
Neal laughed, wondering how she managed to get him out of bed in the morning. "Be my guest."
"And I'm gonna help!" Rumple declared, now wide awake, his small face alight with an impish smirk. He followed Regina into the kitchen to the ice maker.
"Fill it up good with plenty of ice, Rumple," Regina instructed.
"On it!" he said and filled an entire red plastic cup with ice cubes . .. the 18 oz kind.
"Holy crap, you're gonna freeze his nuts off!" Killian exclaimed.
"Ready yet, guys?" Neal asked.
"Comin'!" Rumple sang, and carefully carried the ice into Henry's room.
"Okay...on three we soak him...One...two...THREE!" Regina counted. She threw a cup of water on his face.
Rumple, put on the bed by Neal, crawled over and gleefully dumped ice down Henry's shorts. "WAKE UP!" he screamed.
"What the fuuuuuu..!" Henry howled.
"Ooohhh...he was gonna say THE bad word!" Regina hooted.
"What the hell, Grandpa...you almost froze my nuts off...and et tu, Mom? Et tu?" he demanded, forgetting they still didn't remember who he was to them.
Killian was leaning against the doorframe laughing hysterically along with Emma and Belle.
"Next time get up when your papa calls you!" Rumple lectured, waving his finger in front of Henry's face. "And who you callin' Grandpa? I ain't even old enough t'get married, silly!"
Henry had to chuckle thinking how much his three year old grandfather did look and sound like his adult self at the moment.
"An I'm not your Mom but if I was, you'd be gettin out of bed when I tole ya to!" Regina added.
I always did, Henry thought. He'd known better than to pull this with Regina. She never doused him with water but she did pull the covers off the bed.
"Okay . . .m'up!" he grumbled. "Now scat, so I can get dressed!"
"Don't get ice on the rug!" Rumple chanted as he slid off the bed and into Neal's arms.
"Brat!" Henry made a face at him. Rumple made a face right back.
Once they were back in the kitchen, Regina insisted on helping Emma with the pancakes.
"Cause, no offense, but you're not using to cooking," the tot said.
"Uh . . . thanks a lot!" the sheriff said, but couldn't really argue with that.
"You gots to mix up the batter first," the toddler told her.
"Okay..." I am taking lessons from a three year old, Emma thought.
She got out the box of Aunt Jemima and measured some into a bowl and followed the directions, adding some water and milk.
"Lemme get the chips!" Regina scurried to the pantry and returned with the bag of chocolate chips. "Here!"
"Now do I add them after I mix the batter up or before?"
"Mix, then fold them in," Regina instructed. "S'what Paula does on her show."
"Fold?" Emma asked. "How do you fold batter?"
Belle giggled from the table remembering how she sounded like one of the fairies in Sleeping Beauty.
"Like this," Regina said. "You turn them into the batter really gently, like you was folding something."
"Oh! Now I get it!" Emma said. "You're pretty good at this kid. You sure you don't want to be a chef when you grow up?"
Regina grinned. "Maybe . . .I like cookin' stuff!"
Henry came into the kitchen and smiled to see his two moms bonding over such a typical motherly activity.
"I like to cook too!" Rumple said. "Bae, let's make bacon."
"I wanna help!" Killian cried.
"Okay, one of you get me the frying pan and the other one the bacon," Neal instructed.
"I can get the pan!" Rumple offered.
He noticed that Killian seemed to be feeling a bit left out and decided he would let the little pirate have some time with Bae too.
Killian was whistling an old sea tune while he rummaged through the refrigerator and pulled out the pack of bacon. "Bae, is there a way we can make the bacon stay flat?" he asked."I don't like it all crinkly."
"You'd havta hit it with a hammer," Rumple said.
"Really?"
"Yeah...saw it in a cartoon once."
"There's somethin' called a bacon press," Regina called. "I seen it on TV."
"We don't have one, do we?"
Bae shook his head. "Nope."
"You gots a George Foreman grill? It can do it." Killian said. He'd seen that on TV too.
"What about a cooking weight?' Belle asked from the table.
Neal looked at Emma. "You ever get the feeling these kids are smarter than we are sometimes?" he whispered in her ear.
"All the time," she whispered back. "Regina is running circles around me here."
He would be glad when they moved into his father's house because he didn't doubt Rumple had every possible cooking gadget available.
"Okay...now we gotta lay the bacon out flat cause that's what they did on Papa's ship!" Killian instructed.
"You watched them cook?" Rumple asked.
"Uh uh...'specially if it was bacon cause I love bacon."
"Then how'd he get it flat?"
"Cook didn't. Tried smashing it with a hammer an' nearly put a hole in the galley. My papa was so mad he said he was gonna build a plank an' make him walk it."
"Okay...I've got the bacon in here...now what?' Neal asked. "It's not going to stay flat, buddy because we don't have those things you need."
"You gotta move them a bit, Neal. You gots too many crunched together." Killian picked up the spatula and moved several pieces so that they were side by side in a row.
Now I know these kids are smarter than me. I'm being taught how to fry bacon...by a pirate!
"Belle, what's a cooking weight look like?" Rumple asked his girlfriend.
"Ummm...I dunno...Henry, can you look one up on that thingie you have?"
"My tablet? Yeah. I can do that."
He opened his browser and did a search on Google. He showed the toddlers a picture of a cooking weight and bacon press. Rumple concentrated and conjured one. He handed it to Neal.
"Now what do I do?"
"I guess you gotta put in on the bacon so it stays flat," Killian said."That looks like an iron," he added.
"Yeah, it does. How're you doing over there, Emma?"Neal asked.
"We's good!" Regina said excitedly. "Now we gots to flip em!"
"Yeah, well don't kill it like you did the last time!" Killian snapped.
"Umm...I've never done this before, Regina...so...gonna need your help here..." Emma said nervously.
"Kay!" She picked up the spatula and flipped a pancake, catching it. "Your turn!" Regina announced, handing Emma the spatula.
She was expecting to have her pancake fall on the floor but to her surprise she managed to catch it...on her first try.
"Knew you could do it!" Regina beamed.
"Yay, Emma!" Killian cheered.
"Okay, Killian...let's see how your bacon turned out," Neal said and looked down at the pan, surprised that it was still flat thanks to the press.
"It's great! Thanks Neal!"
The little pirate hugged him around the knees. Neal scooped him up and carried him over to the table.
"What'cha doin, Belle?" Rumple asked her. She'd gotten some paper and crayons from the living room and was drawing.
"M'drawing a picture."
"Of what?'
"You 'n me."
"Can I see?"
"Uh huh." She handed him the picture. "It's you 'n me gettin married. See...there's the church...and us!"
"Belle, why you wearing a yellow dress an' me a blue suit? You're supposed to wear white and I gotta wear one of those tuxedo thingies."
"Cause I wanna have a Beauty and the Beast wedding!"
"You do?"
"Uh huh and we're gonna dance in a big ballroom,"
"How'm I gonna dance with my leg...?"
"You can do it. 'Sides, we'll be bigger an it might now hurt as much!"
He doubted that but if it made her happy he would do it.
"I don't believe this," Emma muttered. "They'll elope if we don't keep an eye on them."
"What's elope mean?" Rumple asked.
"When you run away to get married," Belle said, then she smiled, a devious smile.
"Don't you even think about it, Miss French!" Emma warned.
"I'd elope if I got married," Regina said. "Specially if I was still living with my mama. She wanted to pick out who I'd marry."
She did, Emma thought sadly. And look what it did to you. Left you a bitter, angry woman who cursed an entire population for years for revenge that left you with a hole in your heart you needed our son to fill.
"I wanna get married...but every girl I like has a guy," Killian complained.
"Don't worry buddy. I'm sure there's a nice girl out there waiting for you to sweep her off her feet." Neal assured him.
"Yeah, look at me. My papa always tol' me nobody was gonna marry me 'cuz I was a no account crippled coward that not even my mama loved. He said it's why she died," Rumple recited sadly. "Cuz she couldn't take bein' related to no wimpy kid anymore."
"Yeah, well you're marrying me and no one else!" Belle declared firmly.
Rumple smiled crookedly at her. "Yeah, well, it ain't like they're lining up to have me, dearie. And I don't even know why you'd want me to marry you."
"Why? Cause I love you, silly!"
She kissed him.
"So are we gonna be in the wedding?" Regina asked.
"Uh huh...you're gonna be maid of honor," Belle said.
"Oh goodie!"
"And I want Bae and Killian to be the best man," Rumple stated.
"Two best men? You're supposed to have one." regina reminded them.
"Nuh-uh it's my wedding an' I want two maids of honor...you 'n Emma."
"Yeah, if I'm gettin' married, we can do it how we want to!" Rumple stated. He looked at Henry. "An' you can be in it too, Henry, with your girlfriend."
"Girlfriend?" Henry goggled. "Who says I have a girlfriend?"
"Then you don't like Grace?" Rumple said with a sly wink.
"Do ya? Regina interrogated.
"Uh . . . err . . ." Henry stammered, turning red.
"He likes her!" Rumple snickered. "He's just shy!"
"You be quiet!" Henry ordered. "B'fore I Tickle Torture you!" He poked Rumple playfully in the tummy.
"You kiss her yet?' Killian asked.
"You're not supposed to kiss and tell," Belle scolded.
"You kiss Rumple all the time and tell." Regina pointed out.
"Do not, Regina."
"Uh huh."
"Well I like kissing Rumple."
"Yeah, we know." Killian grumbled.
"Okay, kids, let's eat—got a lot to do today." Emma spoke up.
"We're moving into the pink house?" Regina asked.
"Somebody better feed the dog," Henry said. "She's begging." Gwen was sitting beside him, gazing at him pleadingly.
"I got it!" Killian jumped off his chair and grabbed her bowl, filling it with dog food and water."Here ya go, Gwen!"
Gwen woofed at him, wagging her tail and went over to eat.
"She says thanks!" Rumple reported, drizzling syrup all over his pancakes . . . and the table by mistake. "Aww, hells!"
"Uh oh...you're gonna get the Ivory, mate."
Rumple was frantically scrubbing the table, his OCD kicking into hyperdrive, and he didn't even register what he'd said. "Germs, yuck!" he growled . . . and then used magic to get the sticky syrup off the table.
"All right, calm down there, buddy, before you put a hole in the table," Neal advised.
"It's dirty! I hate dirt!" the child fretted. "Now I'm all sticky!" He frowned at his hands, and the syrup on them vanished.
Neal began to wonder whether he should set up sessions for Rumple for his OCD issue.
Rumple began to eat, careful not to get syrup on himself, cutting his pancake into small pieces with his fork and eating neatly.
Emma stared at him. She knew Gold had always been neat as a pin but this was a little too extreme especially since he was a child and none of them, even she and Neal, could avoid making a mess.
Neal caught her look and murmured, "Sometimes he's like this," and then added, "I think I'm gonna look a few things up online, see if I can help him with that." He could recall some days when he was growing up that Rumple had fits about dirt everywhere and ended up scrubbing the little cottage until it gleamed . . .and getting stressed when Bae tracked dirt into the house. Neal suspected his aversion to dirt had its roots in his early childhood with Pan, where he'd been made to sleep on the floor like a dog and eat scraps.
The other children finished their breakfast, cleaned off their plates and took them to the sink to be washed.
"Okay...I think we should start the packing in here," Emma said to them. She had a feeling Neal would be busy with his father for a while.
Killian looked back at Rumple and Neal and returned to the table.
He found it odd but now he seemed to sense when something was bothering the other toddler as quickly as Belle did.
Neal was busy looking up OCD in children on Google on his phone.
"Neal...can I help you pack where you're done?" Killian asked.
Over at the sink, Regina and Belle were singing Whistle While You Work as they helped Emma wash and dry the dishes from breakfast and pack away the others.
"Yeah, you can. But right now I'm a little busy here. So why don't you go help Henry start packing his things?" He gave his eldest a pointed glance.
"Yeah, c'mon, Killian. Let's pack up my game system first." Henry beckoned to him.
"Cool!" the little pirate said excitedly.
Rumple finished eating at last and sent his plate and fork over to the sink with a flick of his wrist. Then he glanced at the floor, where he saw Gwen licking up crumbs. "Bae, the floor's dirty. I need to get a broom n' sweep it."
"It's okay..."
"No, it's not!" the little boy insisted. "I need to sweep the floor."
"Rumple...listen to me...the floor can handle having a few crumbs on it. Now...take a few deep breaths...and relax..."
The little boy looked panicked. "But Bae . . .if we leave crumbs on the floor, they'll make bugs come, and bugs have germs and germs make you sick . . .n' that's bad!"
Neal opened his mouth to say something to try and calm him down, but Rumple's anxiety was running full steam and suddenly he lifted his hands and gestured sharply, crying, "Sweep the floor!"
The broom and dustpan flew out of the closet and began sweeping. Then another one and another one appeared and began attacking the floor, making dust fly in puffs all over.
Neal gaped. Oh Lord-it's like the Sorcerer's Apprentice! he thought in dismay as he watched the brooms cavort across the floor. "Rumple, buddy, stop!"
Belle sneezed on the other end of the room and dropped the plate she was holding.
It broke all over the floor and a broom zoomed into sweep up the mess.
"Rumple, relax!" Neal called.
"Now we gotta wash the floor!" the toddler cried.
"Rumple, what's wrong?' Belle asked worriedly.
"He's really flipping out, Emma," Regina said.
"No! No, we're good!" Neal said, and picked up the child before he could call up anything else, like a mop. "Buddy, look at me. Stop freaking out."
Rumple squirmed in his grasp. "Put me down! I gotta clean the floor!"
"Rumple, quit acting crazy!" Regina yelled.
"He's not crazy!" Belle defended.
"It's okay . . . shh . . . look, the floor's clean," Neal told him. "See? You did a good job. Now tell the brooms to rest."
"Regina, Belle, you two come over here and help me finish packing," Emma said wanting to diffuse the situation before it got worse.
She led the two girls into the den and had them start putting some blankets and pillows into a large box while Neal dealt with Rumple.
"It's okay?" Rumple asked uncertainly. He was almost on the verge of a panic attack.
"Yeah, now go on, do like I said. Make the brooms sleep," his son urged.
Rumple did, and the two extra brooms and dustpan vanished and the other one flew back into the closet.
Page~*~*~*~*~Break
In Henry's room, the two boys had gotten nothing accomplished because they were sitting in front of the television playing a game on Henry's system.
"Beat ya!" Killian crowed as his car won the last race.
He found that even with one hand he could manipulate the game controller easily.
"Best outta three?" Henry challenged.
"I'm gonna whip you!"
"Bring it, small fry!"
Killian smiled and started the Nascar game again. "Ready . . . set . . . GO!"
His red car sped around the track.
Henry knocked a green car out of the way and attempted to catch up to him with his blue and yellow one.
"Ha ha...can't catch me!" Killian taunted.
"Wanna bet?" challenged the older boy as he increased his speed and rushed past an orange car. "Here I come, ready or not!"
"No, ya don't!" Killian increased his own speed. "Eat my dust!"
"In your dreams, hotshot!" Henry drew alongside Killian's car and they jockeyed for position.
"I'm gonna send ya to the pits..."
"Me first!" Henry said, and tried to run him off the track.
"You're goin DOWN!" Killian returned the favor.
"No way, Jose!" Henry turned his car and knocked into the red one.
"Outta my way, Pencil Neck!" Killian cried, imitating the cabbie in Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
"Stuff it, Mr. Jones! In your FACE!" Henry crowed, and managed to edge past him for the win.
"You suck!"
"Whoo hoo!" Henry cheered. "Jeepers creepers, losers weepers!"
"AHEM!" Emma cleared her throat from the doorway. "Weren't you supposed to be packing?"
"Uh . .. hi, Mom!" Henry gave her a guilty oh-shoot grin. "We were just gonna do that . . ."
"Sure you were. Now get with it!"
"Okay, okay. Don't be a drill sergeant!" Henry grumbled. "It's not like we're in the academy!"
"Don't sass me, Henry Mills. We have a lot of work to do and I don't want you goofing off all day."
"Mom, don't have a cow!"
Emma sighed. Why was it when you wanted kids to do something, they procrastinated?
Killian tugged Henry's shirt tail. "C'mon, let's do what she said. She's the captain."
"You got it...and I'm running a tight ship today."
"Okay . . . but after we move, I wanna day where I get to do nothin' but play video games," her elder son sighed.
"You can-after we move, but we're not going to get moved if you don't get moving."
"C'mon, small fry, help me wrap up the controllers," Henry said, removing them from the Xbox. "Mom, we're not taking the furniture, right?"
"No, we won't have the room."
"'Sides, don't the pink house got that already?" Killian reminded them. "I thought Rumple said so."
"It does. You boys finish in here and I'll call and see how soon we can get that truck."
"Kay, Mom," the two chorused.
Killian smiled at Henry. "I'm thinkin of that part in the Goonies...ya know where Mouth says all that nasty stuff to the Spanish lady who's supposed to help them pack."
Henry chuckled. "Yeah, but you say anything like that to Mom or Dad and you'll be eating Ivory for like a week!"
"You mean 'bout what drawer the drugs go in an' how the dad had sexual torture devices in the attic?"
Henry almost collapsed on the floor. "Shhh! Or else we'll be in big trouble!"
"Or how 'bout when they said they put her with roaches an' she'd have no food or water for two weeks."
"I could see Blue saying that," Henry giggled.
"I wanna lock her up with roaches..maybe Miss Magestrix will do it."
"You never know," Henry said darkly. "She's lucky my ma or Regina or Rumple didn't change her into a roach."
Killian looked down at the console. "We gots any bubble stuff to put this in?"
"Uh . . . wait, I think I got the box," Henry said, and opened his closet. Stuff fell out all over the floor and he rummaged through it."Found it!"
"Wow, you sure got a lot of stuff in your closet," Killian observed.
Henry shrugged. "It's a shortcut when Mom or Dad asks me to clean up my room—you shove everything in the closet."
Emma wanted to punch a wall. The truck they paid for to haul all their things to Gold's house was not only late...it was also sent to the wrong address...in Boston!
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Neal had finally got Rumple calmed down enough to help him pack up the rest of the kitchen items, and after packing all the glasses in bubble wrap, said, "Let's go and pack up my clothes, okay?" He had a sock drawer that was a bit of a wreck and would allow Rumple to straighten it and keep his OCD under control.
In the den, Regina was helping Belle try and fold the blankets and singing, "Now we's moving on up . . moving on up . . ." the theme song from "The Jeffersons" TV show.
In the bedroom, Rumple was happily matching all Neal's socks and muttering about the holes in some of them. "Don't cha know how to sew?"
"Uh . . . I can't sew well," Neal admitted.
Rumple rolled his eyes. "I can teach you."
Again, Neal thought, amused.
Suddenly Gwen came and grabbed a sock from the pile Rumple was sorting.
"Hey! You c'mere with that!" yelped the little boy, and grabbed the end of the sock."No! Bad doggie!"
The big dog dragged Rumple out of the room across the floor and into the den.
"What the..." Emma gasped.
"Oooh! The puppy train!" Regina squealed and ran and grabbed Gwen's tail.
The dog happily dragged both kids all over the room.
"Wait for me!" Belle dropped the items she was folding and scurried after them.
"No...no...playtime later..." Emma admonished.
But Belle grabbed Regina's shirt and hung on, making train noises, and Rumple started giggling as he bounced over the mattress.
"I wanna play!" Killian cried, coming out to see what was going on.
He grabbed Belle around the waist and they were all pulled across the floor by their huge furry dog.
"Come on, guys!" Emma complained.
"Aww, leave 'em alone, Em," Neal said. "Let 'em play and let off some steam. Least they're not fighting. What happened to the truck?"
"It's in Boston!" she cried. "And now they called me and said it's broken down and they won't be able to send another one."
"Shit!" he hissed. "Uh . . . let me make a phone call, babe. My papa used to have this guy, Dove . . .he can get us a truck . . . I think . . ." Neal dialed a certain number.
After speaking to Dove, Neal hung up and said, "Good news, he's gonna get one here right away. And don't ask how, 'cause I don't think we want to know."
"Well, since Dove does work for your father, why am I thinking someone's legs will be broken?"
"Uh . . . like I said, I really don't know how he gets these things . . .but it's done now . . . and the truck's on its way here. And there's no charge for it." Neal told her.
Emma chuckled. "The Rumfather's will be done."
"Yeah, God only knows what Dove owes Papa," Neal said.
"Oh well...at least we've got the truck...good God...neither of us have been here long but it feels like we have years of crap to pack up!"
"It accumulates, like dirt," Neal chuckled.
"Don't let Rumple hear you say that,' Emma cautioned.
"I know . . .he'd go off again on me," Neal sighed.
"Let's let them play a bit more and we'll finish packing."
Page~*~*~*~*~Break
The convent, Mal's room:
"I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU!"
"Oh, yes, you are, young lady," Maleficent ordered sternly, crossing her arms over her chest. "And mind that tone when you speak to me, I'm your guardian now, not your lackey."
"I don't give a damn if you're the Tooth Fairy. I'll talk to YOU how I damned well please!" Blue's eyes shot daggers at her. That sop Nova dared...dared to put her in her mortal enemy's charge.
"You're the afterbirth of a whore of Satan!"
The dark enchantress's eyes narrowed. "Indeed? I think not!" The tall woman gestured . . . and a bar of Ivory appeared in her hand. "Now . . . first lesson. Whatever you may feel about me, the fact is that I am now your foster mother . . . and as such you will at least offer me the illusion of respect . . . and that means curbing that foul tongue of yours! Why a swamp troll has better manners!"
"Burn in Hell...whorewitch!"
She gestured and the bar was inserted into the child's mouth. Mal conjured a small stool and another quick gesture placed the obstreperous child on it. "You can sit there for a minute and think about what such language gets you . . . and if you keep speaking like that to me, you're going to be tasting soap for a LONG time!"
Blue struggled to get up and could not move. That bitch, she thought angrily. I'll get her. She sputtered and coughed on the soap.
"Now then, let me establish some ground rules . . . since you Light fae are so enamored of them," Mal continued. "You've heard the first one. Here's the second. You are no longer what you were, you are now a child again, and as such, shall be treated like one by me. Behave well and you will find I am not a bad guardian, we can do many fun and interesting things together . . . but behave badly . .. " Mal's lips twitched into a cold smile. "And you will soon make an acquaintance not just with Ivory, but with my paddle as well. You will get to the count of three to modify your behavior, and if you don't it'll be a whack and time out. If you continue to disobey me, you'll get a spanking and some time scrubbing the floor. For you've been allowed to run wild by your sister nuns . . . but that will not be the case with me. Am I understood?"
She nodded yet in the back of her mind she was still fuming. How could they do this to her? How could they put her in the custody of this vile woman? Mel banished the soap.
"Good. In this form I am known as Miss Melanie Magestrix. And you are my foster daughter . . . Sapphira Magestrix. You shall be treated like my own child until you grow up. But there are two rules you will abide by unconditionally-the first is no magic . . .and the second is you shall leave the children of Miss Swan and Baelfire alone. You are not to go by them or attempt to harm them in any way. We shall be moving into our new home on Stardust Way shortly. So I suggest you gather your belongings."
"I want to stay here!" Blue protested though she did like her new name better than the ones she'd had.
"No. I am done with being here, I want a place of my own . . .not like the one I was . . . consigned to in that basement, like a prisoner!" Mal returned crisply. "This house, I am told, is a fairly large one. You shall have your own room and play room, as well as a yard to play in where we can put in a garden and a bower. You may eventually have a pet too . . . should you prove responsible."
Sapphira loved the idea of having her own room, a play room, and even a yard but who would play with her...certainly not those wicked brats Rumple and Regina and their little sidekicks. She would make new friends.
"Come, let us pack. We will have to get you new clothes as well . . .this . . .uniform you are wearing will not do," Melanie said in distaste. "I shall need to see what is available in these stores . . . and if there is nothing you like, I shall make whatever you require . . .I am fairly apt with a needle and thread."
Since when, Sapphira thought sarcastically.
Melanie raised an eyebrow. "I know this may come as a shock to you, but I was not always well off . . . and my mentor taught me to sew after I was cast out . . . and I learned my lessons well . . .enough to earn a living by my needle before I became a well-known enchantress."
"And what do you expect me to call you? You are not my mother," the child said pointedly.
"True . . ." Melanie paused. "But I am your guardian . . .and among our kind the term of respect for an elder is Aunt, so Aunt Melanie shall do."
"Okay...Aunt Melanie."
Melanie did not say so, but deep within her icy heart, she hoped someday to be viewed with respect by this child, if not love, and called "Mother" by her. Melanie smiled. "Good! Here is a bag," she gestured and a deep blue duffle appeared. "Pack your things in it while I go and inform Mother Astrid of our wish to depart."
"I'm going to need more than this!"
The enchantress raised an eyebrow. "How much can a child like yourself have? That's an enchanted bag of holding, girl. It can hold an entire castle's worth of things!"
"I'm surprised you can even conjure up something like that," Sapphira taunted.
"Now that'll be enough of your impudence!" snapped Mal. "You don't want to start off on the wrong foot, do you? Or else you can pack your things with a smarting behind to accompany your smart mouth."
"You don't have the nerve to spank me!" She'd have this upstart begging to bring her back within a week.
Melanie snorted. "So . . . you are determined to test me, are you? Very well. Then you have no one but yourself to blame for the consequences." With a blink she summoned a flat paddle, about the same width as her two hands, and pulled the little girl off the stool, and sat down on it. "Over my knee, young lady. Now."
"No."
"That was not a request. Do it . . .because if I do, you'll get two extra whacks for fighting your punishment," her guardian warned.
"Then make me."
"As you wish." Melanie sighed, grinding her teeth. She took the girl firmly by the back of her uniform and yanked her face down across her lap. Though slender, the dark fae was stronger than she appeared, having the strength of a fairly large man, and she held the child over her knee easily. "Now then . . . my standard spanking is one swat for every year of your age-you are five by human years-so five plus two for disobeying me is seven . . .and one for remembrance." Because she was using a paddle, Mal allowed her child some padding, and didn't flip up her skirt. "One!" she intoned and brought the paddle down firmly.
"Owwww...you miserable witch!" Sapphira screamed. "I hate you...you should go back in that basement hovel where they found you!"
"Calling me names shall not lessen your punsihment any," Melanie lectured. "Two!" She spanked her again. "And it's quite stupid, considering how vulnerable you are."
But Sapphira was not one to admit defeat easily. She blamed all of this on those four brats. As soon as she got the chance, she was going to make them suffer plenty.
" . . .three . . . four . . . five . . ." Mlanie continued counting, delivering a smack with each number, and as she did so, said, "You have no one to blame but yourself, child, and while I do not enjoy doing this, rest assured I shall not hesitate to do so whenever you need it . . .for your behavior shall hurt you much worse than this paddle someday should you keep on doing it."
"You think so? How?"
Melanie halted briefly. "Consider how your behavior has affected your life . . .were you truly a merciful and good person, you would not now be a child again . . .and if you knew how to act properly, you would not be under my care now. But because you chose to behave like a spiteful, self-righteous prig, and act like you need obey no one, here we are."
"And you think you're the one who can make me act properly...you, a servant of darkness?"
"I was not always a servant of darkness, girl-and you know well the truth of it!" Maleficent declared spiritedly. "You cast me out in a fit of pique and jealousy, but be that as it may, we are two sides of the same coin . . . and dark or light, I have learned something that you never have-respect for all living beings . . . whether or not they call themselves good or evil! And it is this I shall teach you . . .even if I have to wear out your backside doing so!" Then she began counting again. "Six . . ." and the spanking resumed.
Sapphira's backside was stinging from the spankings and Maleficent's swats were as hard as the ones given by the Dark One's spawn. She started sniveling and wriggling.
Her guardian could tell the child was hurting, and she heaved a sigh. "Two more," she announced, and raised the paddle again. "Seven . . ."
The longer the punishment went on, the more time Sapphira had to think about how painful it must've been when she'd taken the ruler to the Dark One. Her ruler was much thicker than the paddle Maleficent was holding.
"Eight," Mal announced and brought the paddle down a final time. The child over her lap began crying and the fairy vanished the paddle and gently rubbed her back murmuring, "There, there! Have you learned your lesson?"
"I...I'll try to be better."
Melanie gently hugged her charge. "Please do . . .and remember this and don't make me do it again. For it hurts me more than it does you."
"It does?" she asked, stunned.
"Yes. For as I said, I do not enjoy causing children pain . . .but sometimes a little pain is necessary to make you remember. Has no one ever told you that before? My own father said it to me when he punished me."
"No...my parents..what I remember of them...never said that to me...just asked me if I learned my lesson and left it at that. And they never spanked me . . . my mother believed I was too important for such a thing . . . and I had a whipping girl instead, a servant who was punished instead of me," the child admitted.
"Then they did you a disservice, little one. For any good parent will tell you thus . . .the sheriff told me even Rumplestiltskin said so when he spanked his child .. .you regret the necessity, but you do what must be done. Now remember this and go and pack your things."
"All right..." Sapphira wiped her eyes. She hopped off the stool, picked up the bag and returned to her room, still deep in thought.
Mal went in the opposite direction, towards Nova's office, hoping something had finally gotten through to the child . . .!