Chapter 26: Iron Grenadiers, Part 2
ILKLEY MOOR- WEST YORKSHIRE:
"You sure this is where Cobra Commander said he was hiding?" Duke asked.
"Affirmative." Ace answered from the Tomahawk cockpit.
"Why is it that I smell a rat?" Snake Eyes mumbled.
"Probably just yourself. When was the last time you showered?" Roadblock retorted.
"Ha ha. Very funny."
"Seriously, I think this is a trap." Flint piped up.
"Maybe it is. Then again, if it isn't, Cobra Commander's a sitting duck."
The Tomahawk landed on the moor, and Duke, Snake Eyes, Scarlett, Flint, and Roadblock exited into the foggy night.
"They're here. Just like Destro said they would be." a man muttered as he peered through binoculars.
The man turned to face his five cohorts.
"Is everyone ready?"
"Yes, Sawbones!"
"In that case- Grenadiers, move out."
The six Iron Grenadiers slithered through the heather and the tall grass to attack the incoming Joes.
"Oooh! I am the ghost of-" Snake Eyes began.
"Knock it off! You'll give away our position!" Flint hissed under his breath.
"Besides, I thought ninjas were supposed to be stealthy." Scarlett added, her Dixie accent slipping through.
"And I thought snipers weren't supposed to be callipygian." Snake Eyes retorted.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Scarlett, he's saying you have a big rear." Roadblock tactfully explained.
Scarlett's face turned as red as her hair.
"You son of a-"
"Quiet! We don't want to let Cobra Commander know we're here!" Duke whispered.
"But Snake Eyes said-"
"I don't care what Snake Eyes said! Now get into sniping position!"
Scarlett groaned as she assumed the prone stance.
"Also, they're not supposed to be buxom." Snake Eyes sniped.
"Snake Eyes, shut your mouth." Duke growled.
"What? Can a man not make obs-"
"You keep this up, I'll write you up for sexual harassment. Even if you and Scarlett are an item, there's a time and place for those remarks, and this is neither the time nor the place, you jackass!"
"Guys, I see movement-" Scarlett piped up.
"Could be you swaying in the breeze. Oh wait, no it can't be- you've got ballast!"
Duke and Scarlett shot Snake Eyes a dirty look.
"Fine. I'll shut up now."
"Um, guys? I'm with Scarlett. I can see something coming through the underbrush." Flint commented.
"I've got something on the tracker. Six contacts incoming. Current distance is about 15 meters and closing. Speed is 1 meter per second."
"Snake Eyes, can you-"
"I could if there weren't so much fog!"
"10 meters."
"Why do I-"
"Five meters!"
"That's practically spitting-"
"SURPRISE, SCUNNERS!" a low voice yelled out.
The Joes looked up to see six individuals wearing greatcoats and gas masks looming over them.
"You COBRA?" Roadblock asked.
"No. We're the Iron Grenadiers. It's just that our leader Destro works for COBRA."
"Well, we're armed-"
The Grenadiers' leader drew his sidearm and fired, setting some nearby vegetation alight.
"What the-"
"I've got a laser beam! GRENADIERS- ATTACK!"
In the fog, Scarlett and Snake Eyes were quickly overtaken by two of the Grenadiers.
"What's going o-"
Flint fell to the ground courtesy of a well-thrown rock.
"Roadblock, o-"
Another rock hit the heavy gunner.
"Well well well. Six against one. Anything to say?"
"Who are-"
Duke was promptly knocked out by a blow to the back of the head.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Next up is an actual canon character- Metal-Head!
Real Name: Stuart A Finley
DOB: December 4, 1990
Gender: Male
MOS: Anti-tank/anti-armor operations
Nationality: American
Affiliation: Iron Grenadiers
Arcane/psionic powers: None
Cybernetic/biological augmentations: Datajack in back of head (serves as brain/computer interface and allows for him to operate his weapons by thought or through vocal commands)
Errata: Nickname derived from love of heavy metal music