Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just make them darker.
##
Hoo-kay. Is everybody alright? Sitting down? Got a glass of wine or beer or Diet Pepsi in front of you?
I know I know the past two chapters have been an emotional roller coaster for all of us, especially Edward. He's just a mess, won't return my calls/txts/Tweets/emails, which isn't like him,
especially since Sofia showed him my pic on her Crackberry, and he realized she and I look an awful lot alike. Said something to the effect that 'you girls could be twins'.
And then Missy told me that he got this look in his eye that she put the ki-bosh on real quick.
Regan! What would I do without ye? Dating Game Kisses to you for helping me through this morass of misery and pain aka writing Chapter 26.
KiyaRaven just because you are so fuckawesome and funny and write the best Fuckedupward I know of.
UU Girls – If you don't know by now, you haven't been paying attention.
We're gonna let Daddy C start us out this chapter.
##
CARLISLEPOV
I'd almost forgotten how beautiful it is up here. How the forest seemed to go on forever, stretching all the way up to the shores of Lake Superior, an inland sea, dark and deep, keeping it's secrets from the world. How the winter snow seemed more intensely pristine and perfect here than anywhere else we've lived.
Nessie stands between Charlie and myself, holding our hands and looking from him to me, then back to her father: The three most important men in her life, at least for now.
The rest of the family stands behind us, as still as can be, even Seth, in respect to the scene unfolding before us. The wind picks up occasionally, sending whirlwinds of snow across the cemetery grounds, between the headstones, faded and worn.
Edward crouches in front of the newest addition to the small aged cemetery, nearly forgotten, hidden deep in the forests of Northwest Wisconsin; rose-colored granite, lovingly designed by Esme and Alice.
I sense the change in the wind, as it shifts from the east to the south; the clouds will be moving soon, exposing us to the midday January sun. Can't have that.
Look down at Nessie and smile, letting go of her hand as I do. Charlie folds her hands in both of his and pats them, gazing at his granddaughter with such love in his amber eyes; he's completely one of us now. She smiles back and then leans against him, clutching his gray wool coat; so different from his usual weathered leather jacket, the right hem worn from years of having the butt of his holstered sidearm rubbing against it.
Walk over to Edward, still crouched in front of the headstone, left hand resting on the top, right hand cradling his forehead, deep in thought. Bend down and place my hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently.
"Come on son. Time to go."
He doesn't respond. Just stays where he is, not moving. After a minute, he finally looks up and back at the inscription on the rose granite stone:
KOWALSKI
BIALY NAZDIA
1/4/1865 – 7/4/1915 8/5/1876 – 12/25/1918
OUR LOST ANGEL
SOFIA ANASTAJA MASEN CULLEN
DECEMBER 25, 1897 – DECEMBER 25, 1918
Squeeze his shoulder again.
"Edward. The sun...."
Turns and looks up at me, squinting, as the sky to the south of us begins to change from wintry gray to brilliant blue. Not much time.
"Alright, Dad."
We straighten back up, just as a gust of wind rips across the cemetery, blowing snow over and around both of us; we're in the middle of a pure white vortex together, whipping our unbuttoned coats open. Holding his coat closed with his left hand, Edward leans down...
##
Extending his gloved right hand to Sofia, helping her up from her knees as she traces the chiseled names of her parents and hers one last time, shaking her head in disbelief that she's finally come full circle; that she's no longer the lost angel her mother dreamt about, who never gave up hope that Sofia would someday return to her embrace; until her death from the Spanish Influenza, on Christmas morning 1918 in Superior.
The same day that Sofia awakened, pure and perfect, lying in Edward's arms, in his parent's bed in the mansion in Lincoln Park.
She takes one last look down at the stone, then up to Edward, smiling as she draws her favorite dark purple wool coat with the fur trimmed hood around her body.
Swollen with Edward's child.
##
When I first saw Edward clutching Missy's limp body to his, moaning in anguish and rocking her back and forth, calling her by the name he first knew her as my heart just sank. For a brief instance, I believed him; that she truly was dead, lost to the dust.
And that he'd follow her to her grave, despite Nessie. They were so dependant on each other, I couldn't imagine either of them being able to function without the other, especially Edward.
Pulled her from his grasp, his grief; opened her eyes, saw the milky patina covering them, but then saw something else there. Something Edward had missed in his panic.
The flicker of life still inside her: The twitch of an Ocular muscle, so faint, but there, as if she were asleep, dreaming.
##
"Edward. Edward. She's not dead son. Bring her into the house."
He doesn't move, consumed by his grief, numb to everything.
"EDWARD! NOW! MOVE!" I have to shove him to get his attention.
Looks at me in disbelief, and then gently picks Sofia up from the warm sand, mechanically walking with her in his arms, holding her tightly to his chest, into their bedroom, still believing she's gone.
"Lay her down on the bed, get some pillows under her head. I'll be right back. "
Shut the drapes, don't want Nessie to see what we're going to do to her mother; she's been traumatized enough over this, after hearing Edward's reaction to Sofia's collapse over the phone. I can hear her sobbing out on the beach, wrapped in Emmett's embrace as he rocks her back and forth in his lap, staring out over the ocean in disbelief that Sofia, the woman he loves nearly as much as Rosalie, might be gone forever.
Edward looks up at me when I return, locking the door behind me; eyes widen when he sees what I hold in my hand.
"Are you sure about this Carlisle?"
Push the plunger up, making sure there's no air bubbles in the syringe.
"Yes son, I'm sure. Open her dress, then hold her down."
He hesitates for a second, not wanting to believe this is happening, but it's the only way I know how to save her, and he does too. I'd done it to her once before, years ago, and hoped I'd never have to do it again.
He rips open the bodice of her sundress and the camisole underneath it, exposing her chest, her breasts beginning to swell. Edward was right, she's expecting again.
"Hold her down, this will hurt like hell, she'll feel it son, and her reaction might be more intense than the last time."
"But what about..."
"There won't be any 'about' if we don't do this Edward," I snap at him. "Jesus Christ kid, wake the hell up. Your wife will die if we don't do this now."
Kneeling in front of her, holding Missy down by her biceps, I raise my arms up high, gripping the steel hypodermic and plunge the needle through her hard, alabaster marble skin, into her chest, injecting her venom into her heart, hoping we're not too late, that we can bring her back.
To Edward.
To Nessie.
To life.
##
EPOV
Unlike that human, Sofia reacted immediately to the injection; eyes shot open, trying to escape from my grasp, her hands clawing at the air, at Carlisle and myself, not understanding what was happening or where she was, what she was.
Screaming in confusion and pain, legs flailing and kicking; just like Christmas day 1918, when she was reborn in my arms on my parent's bed in Chicago; the same bed I was born in, in 1901.
"Sofia, honey, SOFIA, it's okay baby, you're safe. Kitten, it's me, Eddie."
Eye frantically sweeping the room, from myself to Carlisle then back again, starts to relax when she hears my voice, sees my face.
Just like she did before.
"Wha...wah...Edward?" she croaks, barely able to speak; I can read the confusion in her mind: Why am I in bed? Why is Edward holding me down? Why does Daddy look so grim? Why is there sand on my face?"
Why is there a huge..."FUCKING NEEDLE STICKING OUT OF MY FUCKING CHEST?" she yelps. "GET IT OUT GET IT OUT GET IT OUT! EDWARD! WHAT THE HELL?" Furious and scared, panicking, trying to pull the needle from her chest, still uncomprehending what happened to her.
"Baby, it's okay, you're back." If I could cry I'd be sobbing I'm so relieved I didn't lose her forever, gripping her arms even firmer, to keep her from pulling the needle from her chest, damaging her further. Hear her inhale sharply as Carlisle removes the needle that brought her back from the brink of the dark, silent abyss.
"Back? Where did I go? Why am I covered in sand?" Bewildered, looks over at Dad, now disposing of the syringe after checking the puncture wound, already healing; smiling down at her, still concerned but knowing she'll recover, I can see that much in his mind.
"What the hell Cully, why'd you do that to me?"
"Because you collapsed and Edward thought you were dead."
"I thought we already were dead."
Clears his throat; she threw him for a loop with that comment. I grin like a jacktard windowlicker; my girl is coming back, Hallelujah. I can't wait to see her reunion with Nessie; we're staying in this bed, just the three of us, for however long they need.
"Well, yes, technically we are, but, uh, you collapsed face down in the sand and from all appearances, at least initially to Edward, you were...dead."
He lets that observation hang in the air; watching while she takes it in, what happened to her little over an hour ago rolling around in her mind.
"Oh. So what's wrong with me then? Why'd that happen?"
Dad looks from her to me; folds his arms, getting into that 'this may come as a surprise to you' mode I've seen him do so many times with human patients, ready to deliver the news they never expected, or worse, were in denial over.
I slide behind her in the bed, holding her in my arms, both knowing what's coming and not wanting to let go of her ever again, anxious to see her reaction to the news.
"Missy, I think you're pregnant."
##
I knew she was pregnant before she did.
All the signs were there: The increased sex drive; extreme moodiness and emotional labiality, which explained her nearly prosecutory questioning of my feelings towards Nessie's birth mother and her reaction to my honest answer; her inability to finish her meal the night before in Rio.
She'd vomited when we got back to the house; I stood there with her on the dock, holding her hair away from her face as she threw up the contents of her stomach into the water, rubbing her back; then carried her to the bathroom to get cleaned up, she could barely stand she was so weak. But she wrote it off as excitement over our family's impending visit later that day; I didn't say a thing, just kept my mouth shut, thinking back to how she reacted to her last pregnancy, the signs that she had conceived. Couple that with her collapse and, well, it was as obvious as could be, that we were expecting again.
And I couldn't be more thrilled. Or scared.
##
"No way. Uh huh, there is no way I'm pregnant Edward."
"Honey, you are, we're sure of it." I'm standing now, opening the curtains and calling out to Nessie that Mommy's okay, and to please give us a few minutes before she can see her. The smile on our daughter's face could light up Las Vegas it was that bright; can't help but smile at her in return. Damn I'm just so overwhelmed by all this, and even better, I don't feel the usual anxiety that would accompany it either. More like, determination.
Carlisle clears his throat again to get our attention, "I'll, uh, leave you two alone for a bit. Help her out of bed at first Edward, she might be a bit woozy, then get her cleaned up." Looks down at Sofia, smiling for all he's worth. "I'm so happy you're pregnant again sweetheart." Oh my God, we're going to be grandparents again, Esme will be ecstatic; I don't care how much she and Alice and Missy spend on the nursery.
Turns and leaves us be, closing the door behind him with a solid click.
"How? How did this happen Eddie?"
"Well Angel, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they..." I smirk, teasing her.
Rolls her eyes, shifts in the bed, pulling a pillow down to support her lower back.
"Thank you Doctor Cullen, I know that part of it. I just don't understand how we're expecting again. After Sebastian, I figured we'd had our shot at this."
Smile at her, inwardly jumping up and down like I did on Christmas morning when I was a kid, I'm so excited over her pregnancy, at the prospect of becoming a father again, at the chance of giving Nessie a sibling; of completing my plan for us.
Especially if we have a son; someone to carry on the Cullen name; Carlisle will be ecstatic, just like he was with Sebastian. Hopefully this pregnancy will have a better outcome.
Lay down next to her, prop my head up with my left hand, distractedly rub my hand over her belly, slightly distended already, trying to determine how far along she is; without a cycle it's difficult to say. She was at least five months along before we realized it with Sebastian. Unlike humans, our pregnancies can last up to eleven months; Nessie's accelerated one was a surprise, to say the least; we didn't expect that at all.
"Who knows Fia? Maybe it's like with humans; they try for years without success, adopt a baby then poof they finally get pregnant." Gaze at her; her hair looks different already, has an added luster to it, almost appearing thicker. Her eyes betray her the most though: Bright and shining, so incredulous that this small miracle may have happened to us, again.
Places her right hand over mine, resting on her belly; squeezes softly.
"Well, however this may have happened, I'm excited Eddie. And a little scared too, I have to admit."
See the flash of her remembering Esme taking Sebastian's still body from her arms that sad and terrible winter day. I'm more confident this baby will make it, but that thought is there in the back of my mind, as well as some other troublesome scenarios concerning this baby.
"We'll see what else Carlisle has to say Kitten. You just relax and take it easy for now."
She smiles down at me, then picks up my hand, brings it to her lips and kisses it.
"Thank you Edward."
"For what Sofia?"
"For everything. Especially this baby and Nessie and your love; the greatest treasures I could ever ask for."
Then tilting her head downward she stares right at me, those cornflower blue eyes of her drilling into my mind: And for taking me out to dinner on a regular basis again baby, last night was so lovely; that was one of our best PFF's ever. Leans down, brings her lips to mine, kisses me softly, then lets her lips linger on mine.
"Kitten, you and Nessie and this new baby are all I need". Especially the PFF, that was incredible, and those white cotton panties, Jesus Sofia, you did that on purpose didn't you? I kiss her back, letting my tongue trace the line of her lower lip, then retreat. Feel her hitch herself closer to me, her left hand comes up and flutters through my hair.
"Do you think we can travel together, the three and a half of us, again, maybe go to Lake Como for a while? And Edward, can I be your backup now, like you were for me?" Yes honey I did. Surprised? And let me tell you something else I'm looking forward to boychik.... Kisses me again, slipping her tongue in my mouth, letting her stud hit the back of my front teeth, then retreats, teasing me while she rips the rest of her sundress down to its hem, exposing the rest of her body, right down to her blue lace thong. Caesar is rising to the occasion, and his timing couldn't be worse; I can hear Nessie scampering in the sand, being chased by Emmett and Seth, laughing as they do. The tension in the air out on the beach is gone, replaced by relief and joy. In here, there's a whole new kind of tension in the air, and it ain't the kind out there on the sand.
"We'll have to see, might be a bit difficult as the months go by. We still don't know how far along you are. We'll have Carlisle do an ultrasound when we get back home, but I'm guessing maybe two or three months? And we'll see about the backup gig, that's an interesting thought, nobody would suspect a pregnant woman..." If you're thinking pregnancy sex, then you and I are on the same page baby, and I remember how awesome that is. Kissing her back as I say that, then leaving her mouth, my tongue trailing down her jaw to her neck, her clavicle, on its was down to her...But I think any Post Feeding Fucks are out of the question Fia, at least until after this one is born; same with the playroom and that sweet tight ass of yours, that's definitely out of the picture, at least for now. She throws her left leg over my hip as her hands spider-walk down my belly, teasing me as they s-l-o-w-l-y flick open the button on my cargo pants, then unzip me even slower, making me groan and push Caesar towards her fingers, reaching for him through my boxers; she starts to stroke him in her soft hand, palming the head as she does, then stops, grinning against my neck, making me push Caesar into her hand again, wanting her to continue the friction she's created on my flesh. "Fucking minx, you can be such a cocktease Fia" I moan into her neck, hearing her giggle as I do.
"Yeah, I think you're right about that traveling issue Eddie." Oh pooh I was really looking forward to the playroom and having you take my ass honey, you know how much I love that. I grin against her chest at those thoughts; so was I, and yes I do. "Me? A cocktease? You must have me confused with someone else. I'd never tease your cock baby"; starts up the friction again with one hand, while leading my other hand towards her thong-covered cunny.
Raises herself towards me, granting me access to her breasts, now so amazingly even more beautiful, I want to suckle them for hours, never tire of them; feel her kissing my eyelids, moves over to suck that spot under my right ear that always gets the old motor revving, feel her hand move down leading Caesar, closer and closer to her wet, soft cunny, while I quickly slip a finger in her, Oh Christ...Come over here Kitten, give your Daddy a taste of those delicious ridiculously swollen girls of yours, wanna rock the baby to sleep like we did before, I can feel it moving around inside you and God your pussy is...take her left nipple in my mouth, sucking it gently, tastes just wonderful, warm and comforting.
Sofia pulls herself against me, moving her thong aside and removing my hand, and then gently guides Caesar's head into her soft, wet opening, gasping as she does and starts to ride me side-saddle, kicking my ass with her left heel drawing me farther inside her; she's softer and warmer than usual, she's definitely pregnant if her cunny feels like this. I start to move with her, wanting to feel all of her, help her rock our new baby to sleep, I love her so, want us to climax together, Christ she's so tight...
Mama's aching Eddie, want to feel you inside me, want to make you happy baby, oh God move like that again, my puss...
"MOMMY! DADDY!"
Nessie springs into our bed, forcing us to separate; Fia to cover her excited girls and cunny up and me to roll onto my stomach, inwardly groaning at the intrusion; thus becoming, once again, the world's greatest hard-on deterrent, as Caesar and Cleo regretfully return to their former selves.
For now, at least.
##
SPOV
Down and back.
Down and back.
Down and back.
"Edward?"
"Yes Fia?"
"You really thought I was dead, huh?"
"Yes, I did" rubs my left hip, then down to my waist and back, down and back, down and back, over and over.
After Nessie's Flying Wallendas impression, we'd stayed in bed for another hour, the three of us, snuggling and kissing her; told her about how she was going to be a big sister in the spring and that Mommy had fainted and that since she'd never done that before, Daddy got very scared and thought she had died.
We weren't going to lie to her about it; she'd figure it out anyway, she's a smart kid.
At first she was excited about the prospect of a baby brother or sister, but I picked up that little cloud in the back of her mind and grabbed her palm, placing it on my face: Someone else? I won't be the only one? What if they decide they like this baby more than me?
I told her she didn't need to worry about that, that she'd always be our number one girl, no matter what. That seemed to put her mind at ease, at least for now. We'll see how she reacts once the baby is born.
After telling everyone the news, the two of us sat on the beach for a few hours with Rosalie and Emmett, watching the moonrise and the tide go out; talking over this new addition to the family, and how if we could change places with them, we surely would.
Afterwards, Edward and Emmett wandered off by themselves, to discuss something they told Rosalie and I that they'd fill us both in on later. She looked at me, said "What the hell is he up to now?" and I just had to shrug my shoulders and tell her "Beats me. He's playing it really close to the chest lately; he's got something in the works."
It had been an emotional day, to say the least.
Which brings me back to Mr. Down and Back, still caressing my hip and waist, left hand holding up his head as he continues to sweep his gaze up and down my body; still trying to figure out how far along I am, and when we got pregnant again.
I'm thinking either under the water of Middle Eau Claire or that little stop in Montana. He's thinking that day and night in the Cottage, when we were discussing our, uh, home improvement plans. Either way, I figure that would put me at about two or three months along since they all occurred between July and August.
A May baby would be nice: Not too hot out yet, had to deal with that with Sebastian. Hated being pregnant in upstate New York in the summer, so humid.
At least seven more months, seven Hail Marys.
##
"I wasn't dead Edward."
"Well, I know that now, but I didn't know that then. I really thought I'd lost you Fia, you had the patina over your eyes, that wasn't a good sign." Leans over and kisses my left nipple. I'm really not in the mood again, but he doesn't appear to be either. Just a nice friendly kiss to one of his other favorite girls.
"Yeah, I can understand why you freaked out."
"I did not 'freak out', as you put it. I was panicked." Stops the down and back, looking at my eyes now, not the girls or my belly.
"Yes you were. I heard you." Sit up now, looking down at him; I thought I heard something else during that hour I was out, but need to know if it was him or something else.
"Edward. Did you call me Annabel?"
Wrinkles his brow, tilting his head to the left just a smidge, wondering what I'm getting it.
"Yeah I did. Several times as a matter of fact while I was holding you in my arms. That's how Carlisle found us, why?"
I'm stunned. This can mean only one thing.
"So that means that everything else I heard or saw, wasn't you then. Wasn't happening in real time."
Now he bolts up, grabbing both of my upper arms pulling me up to him so we're kneeling, facing each other; the sheet dropped down between us, covering our lower halves. Lowers his voice, so only I can hear him.
"Sofia. What are you saying? Were you asleep?" I think I know the answer, but I don't believe it could happen.
Gulp, and look right back at him, those green eyes of his.
"Edward, I...I think I was dreaming during that hour."
"Oh my God Sofia, really? What did you see?" I don't fucking believe this, it can't be true, but what if it is?
It all comes out in a rush, everything I dreamt: "I saw Mama, and Sebastian's birth and the first time I saw you and your seventeenth birthday, and when you first cycled and your mother's reaction to me that day I got in her face. And our first wedding, and our time in Berlin, with The Jew's Great grandfather; and when we lived in Paris and London. Oh, and when Alice and Jasper showed up. I saw that too. Clear as day Eddie. It was like I was reliving my life over again." I'm nearly gasping now, I'm scared at how he's going to take this, this event that shouldn't happen to us, ever.
But for some reason, has, to me.
"Oh Kitten. Were you scared?" nearly whispering now.
Smile at him, ever so slightly. "No, not at all. I felt at peace, and quite happy actually. I was more worried about you, to be honest. It was like I could hear you screaming, but I was under water, and your voice was muffled. But then the screaming went away, and I just...dreamed.' Hold his face in my hands, thumbs rubbing his temples, calming him. "And I have to be honest with you boychik, I was a little pissed off when you two woke me up. I was dreaming about lying on the forest floor, looking up at the trees and the sky, like I did when I was a little girl."
"Well." He's thinking, and he's blocking me as well, which means this is something that's really serious. Hesitates then takes my face in his hands, getting my complete attention, eyes narrowed, making sure I don't look anywhere else but at him. His voice is lower than a whisper; I can barely hear him now.
"We're keeping this to ourselves Sofia, we can't tell Carlisle or anyone else. Anyone. If Aro and the rest of that bunch get wind of this, what happened to you..." lets that hang there.
"I thought they were leaving us alone now, after what you did in LA." I don't understand what he's driving at completely, but really want to know. "What's going on Eddie? Are they making noise about us again? What the fuck is that old man up to?" Now I'm whispering back to him, he's scaring me with this line of thought, and I suspect it's going to get worse.
"Nothing that I know of Kitten, but I don't want them to know about your dreaming or especially that you're pregnant again." Brings his head closer to mine, our noses are nearly touching. "Think about it Sofia; if you deliver a pure vampire baby that's not a stillborn like Sebastian was, but who's like Nessie, who grows naturally and can think and learn, what do you think Aro and the Volturi would want to do with you?"
I know exactly what that sick bastard would do: Kidnap me, take me to Italy and make me his.
"Oh God Eddie no. You wouldn't let him, would you? He'd make me his own personal brood mare, force me to mate with him like a dog." Without realizing it, my hands have moved down to my belly, protecting that little bump there.
"Exactly Kitten, that's exactly what he would do. Use you to birth his children, and then expand his coven, giving him more power over us. He'd become a vampire version of Mengele; and no, I'd never let him do that to you, ever. I'd kill him if he tried." From the look in his eyes, I have no doubt he would too, which would open up a level of hell in our world that would make that Vampire Showcase Showdown in the Snow look like a kindergarten cakewalk.
Takes my hands in his, pulling me to him, then holds me in his arms.
"We have to protect you, they can't know about this. You have to stay hidden until after the baby is born. You can't leave our house Sofia, not even to go to the post office or visit Charlie at the cop shop."
Pull my head back, look at him and wonder if this is headed where I think it is.
"What else are you up to Edward Cullen? This isn't just about that old fart in Italy, is it?"
He holds my head in his hands again, leans down and whispers in my ear, so softly that I can barely hear him, really have to strain to pick out his words.
"Sofia, we're starting our own coven, you and I, along with Emmett and Rosalie; Jasper and Alice too. Charlie is in, and I'm working on Seth and his crew."
At first, I can't believe this plan of his; he wants us to leave Carlisle and Esme, consolidate our power away from them? We'd be...
Holy shit on a stick, this is beyond serious: This is fuckawesome. I wondered when he'd be ready to make this move; guess I know now. I'm stunned and excited at the same time. We'd discussed this from the very start, the two of us.
"Sofia? Are you hearing me? Do you understand what I'm saying?" looking back at me, gauging my reaction, my dedication to his plan. Like I'd say 'no'? I've wanted this for so long, for us to leave Carlisle again.
"Yeah honey, I sure do. Holy fuck Edward. For real?"
"Yes Sofia, for real. And that's why I want the four of us to leave Forks, and move out on our own, after the baby is born."
##
A/N: Funny how things work out huh? If Aro and the rest of the happy gang of the Volturi get wind of Missy Thing's Bun in the Oven, and the baby is like Nessie, he'd get her away from Edward tout de suite and use her as his concubine, thus becoming the very thing they used Bella for: A Rented Uterus.
Believe me, the irony of that is not lost on these two.
Thanks to all of my readers and reviewers, who make this so worthwhile and fun. Believe me, I had no idea this story was headed down this highway last winter.
Next chapter: House Arrest, Harley rides and birthdays.