He stood at her door, his arms around her waist. He lifted one hand and smoothed her hair back off her face. "Feels like the days are just racing towards the end, you know?" he said, feeling a little melancholy.
She nodded. "I know. I don't know how I feel about it either." He breathed in and then she shook her head a little. "I don't mean this." She looked at him intently. "I'd be devastated to lose us. I hope you know that."
"You think that's how it'd go?"
She shrugged, putting her arms around his neck. "I don't know. I think it helps that we work together, even if things are still sort of, you know, challenging. Not working together would make it harder." She ran her tongue over her lower lip. "Would you come back to LA?"
"I don't know. I like being here, the music side of things." He sighed. "I promised myself I would never lose that again. And here it's so easy. There's the Opry and the Bluebird and other places and writing appointments. You know. All the things I was glad I got a chance to do."
"You could write songs in LA. Perform there."
"I could. But it wouldn't be the same. So, I just don't know. Plus the kids have gotten some roots here."
She nodded. "Yeah, I can see where that complicates it. It's hard to move at that age." She let her fingers rake through the hair on the nape of his neck. "Would you be okay with a shorter season?"
He really didn't want that, but it wasn't up to him. "That what they're thinking?"
"That's what the network wants, I've heard. Callie doesn't though."
He tried to smile. "Kind of a Mexican standoff, huh?"
She laughed a little. "Yeah, I guess. They're standing eyeball to eyeball. Guess we'll see who blinks first."
"What do you think?"
She lifted her shoulders and looked away. "I don't know." She looked back at him. "I'd like a shorter season."
"So you wanna come back?"
She breathed in deeply, just looking at him. "I want you," she said finally. "Which means yeah, I want to come back." She smiled then and kissed him. "I love you, Chip. I'm not ready to give you up."
He pulled her close, his arms tight around her as he buried his face in her hair. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to fight back the threat of tears. He didn't want to lose her either. If I could get a prayer answered – and I know this is a tough one to ask – I want as many seasons as we can get. Enough to get us to the finish line. She pulled back then and he opened his eyes, smiling down at her beautiful face. "I'm not ready to give you up either," he said.
It was a bright sunny Sunday afternoon, with less than a week to go before the season ended. He had taken Blue out for a run, relishing the alone time. He didn't often get to go out on his own and he took advantage of it whenever he could. After the run, he pulled into the gravel area near the top of the trailhead that led to the river. He pulled out his phone and called Connie. "Hey," he said, when she answered. "Any chance you could meet me and Blue at the river?"
"I can do that."
"Can Yoby come?"
She laughed. "You just want to see my son, don't you?"
He smiled. "I haven't seen him in a while. It's a nice day. Blue's here."
"We'll be there as soon as we can."
He disconnected, then looked down at the dog. "Come on, Blue," he said. "We have a date." He pulled on the dog's leash and they jogged down the path to the river.
He stood with Yoby in the shallow water close to the shoreline. Blue ran circles around them, splashing water everywhere. Yoby was laughing and attempting to chase after the dog. Connie was sitting and watching them, smiling and laughing at their antics.
Finally she called out, "Okay, Yobes, I think you need to come dry off." She held up a beach towel she'd brought.
Yoby turned and faced her. "Aw, Mom, I don't wanna," he said. "Me and Chip are playing."
He looked at her and smiled. "Yeah, Mom, we're playing."
She stuck her tongue out, but she smiled anyway. "I can see that, but he's getting all wet."
"That's what you do in the water." She narrowed her eyes at him and he turned and looked down at Yoby. "I think we gotta go in. Mom's frowning at us."
Yoby looked back towards her. "Don't frown, Mom!" But he slowly made his way back to her, clearly not ready to get out of the water. She picked up the towel and held it open, wrapping him up in it when he got close to her and then hugging him to her, kissing him all over his face. "Chip, save me!" he cried.
He came up and sat down next to her, keeping an eye on Blue, still in the water. "I don't know, buddy," he said to Yoby. "It might get me in trouble."
She smirked and bumped his shoulder. "You egg him on too much," she said.
He raised an eyebrow, then looked down at Yoby. "I don't wanna get you in trouble," he said. Yoby laughed. He held the towel around himself and scooted down a little closer to the water.
"Don't get back in," she warned.
Yoby turned to look at her. "Okay," he said, with a deep sigh that made them both chuckle, and turned back to watch Blue.
He looked over at her and she smiled. "Thanks for keeping him occupied for a bit," she said. "I know that's not really what you were planning."
He scooted around behind her and pulled her back against him, leaning his chin on her shoulder and wrapping his arms around her. "I love him. I don't mind at all."
She leaned against him and patted his cheek. "You're a good man, Chip Esten. You really are." She sighed. "Just when I think I couldn't love you more, you spend time playing with my son and I just fall in love with you all over again." She wrapped her arms around his. "I would really hate to lose all this right now."
He turned his head and kissed her on the neck. "Me too."
"It's also that I love getting to work with you. I've been lucky to work with great people, but this has really been such fun, working with you. We just fit."
"Have I moved past Kyle on your list?" he asked, with a smile.
She laughed. "Well, Kyle was pretty special, I have to admit. But there's something different with us."
"You mean the fact that you're so unbelievably attracted to me? And that you have sex dreams about me?"
She gasped. "How did you know I have sex dreams about you?" Then she laughed.
He hugged her close. "Because I have 'em about you," he whispered in her ear and she giggled.
"That could be awkward," she said.
"Oh, trust me, it is," he said, with a laugh. "But it sure as hell starts the day off right."
She snuggled into him and turned her head slightly towards him. "I love you. So much." Then she sighed.
He kissed her on the temple. "I love you too."
She lifted her hand and touched his cheek, then turned to look at Yoby and Blue. Blue had come out of the water and was now lying next to Yoby, as he gently petted him. "I want this," she whispered, so softly that he almost didn't hear it.
He felt tears in his eyes. "Me too," he whispered back. Holding her like this – it was everything. He thought again, though, that they needed more time. They needed a renewal so that they didn't lose all this. He closed his eyes, wishing things didn't feel so complicated, that he didn't feel so conflicted. He knew, deep in his soul, with a certainty he had not felt about a lot of things in his life, that this woman, who was nestled in his arms, was his present and his future, the one he was meant to find. But his kids were at that age where they needed his presence, more than just on weekends or a few weeks in the summer. Blowing it all up at this point blew up so much more than just a family, but also a reputation, and he couldn't deny that was important too. I need more time. We need more time. Please give us that time.
It might have been wrong to pray, but that was all he could think to do.
It all came down to the wire. Nashville was the very last show awaiting its fate. He'd heard more about the behind the scenes negotiations and wrangling on both sides, in the days since they'd wrapped season two. When they'd finished, that last night, standing in the middle of LP Field on an unseasonably cool night, after filming the big closing concert and Luke's proposal to Rayna, he'd felt a lump in his throat. He didn't want it to end that way. He and Connie had filmed Deacon's proposal several days earlier and he'd gotten to use the title of his song. Buddy had already greenlighted using the song for the season three premiere. If there was one. But he didn't want the show to end like this, with everything up in the air.
He knew the network wanted a shorter season. There wouldn't be as much money coming from the state and city. Nashville was expensive to produce, especially on location. There was talk about filming elsewhere, somewhere less expensive with more access to resources, but he knew he wasn't alone in feeling stubbornly certain they needed to be in Nashville itself. Callie and the rest of the production side wanted a full season order. He did too.
When they had done the small venue tour after the season was over, it had been gratifying to see the loyalty of the fans, their desire to bring the show back. Even if their audience was relatively small, it was fierce and dedicated. It never failed to touch his heart to see and hear how the show, its characters and stories, had touched them in very personal ways. It felt both heartwarming and validating. And like him, they all wanted Rayna to choose Deacon. He felt sure that wasn't the way it would play out, but he loved their strong belief in Team Deacon.
Connie was in New Orleans, but they talked and texted every day. She was enjoying the break, enjoying the movie she was filming, loving the city of New Orleans. They didn't talk much about the show or its future, as though they needed to be prepared for disappointment. His family was surprisingly on edge, not really wanting to think about leaving Nashville. At least the kids. He was never sure what Patty was thinking.
That Friday night in May, he couldn't sleep. He paced. He drank whiskey on the back deck. He kept checking his phone. He kept waiting for a call, a text, something.
As it approached eleven, he was sitting on the deck, the lights off, with just the glow from the range light in the kitchen and the stars above providing any kind of illumination. He heard the back door open and her footsteps. "Why don't you just come to bed? Surely if it was good news, you'd have heard by now," she said.
He shook his head. "I need to wait."
She didn't say anything right away, then walked around and sat down in the chair next to him. "I'll wait too, then."
He breathed in, not really wanting her to, but having no reasonable response to tell her not to. It wasn't ten minutes later when his phone buzzed. He looked at it and saw the text from Callie. We're back for full season 3. Congrats to all. He felt overwhelmed with emotions and he couldn't help but lean his head back and grin. Suddenly his phone was blowing up and he looked down. Texts from other cast members, production management. And finally one from Connie, one he knew was just for him. We got our wish, my love. See you soon. Tears filled his eyes then and he sent a quick response. Can't wait. Love you.
He took a deep breath and looked over at Patty. "We got renewed. Full season."
She looked away. "Congratulations," she said finally. "I know that's what you wanted." Then she got up and walked into the house.
It was moments like those that always pulled at him. It wasn't like there hadn't been a shift for them, one that long predated his move to Nashville. They'd transitioned from a loving couple to caring parents, even though they'd never really talked about how and why things had changed. It wasn't that he wanted to hurt her, but he knew she knew, even if she didn't want to admit it, or confront it. She knew she'd lost him. In some ways it would be easier if she'd acknowledge it, but then that would mean having to take some definitive action, action he wasn't sure he was ready for in the grander scheme of things. That he wanted, more than anything, to be with Connie, he knew for sure, but the realities of that were more complex.
He shook his head, not wanting to get into all those complications. Now was the time to celebrate and he went back to his phone, responding to everyone's excited texts and celebrating with fans on social media, long into the beautiful night.
It had been tricky getting to Pittsburgh without Patty and the kids. He had arranged a visit to the Steelers headquarters related to his father and scheduled it for a time when it would have been difficult for them to get away or rearrange things. To his knowledge, Patty didn't know Connie was in Pittsburgh filming. He made that assumption based on the fact that she would never have let him go otherwise. The one downside was that he could only be gone one night. As he sat in the gatehouse at the airport, he thought one night was a gift and they would make it enough.
He was sitting in the lobby bar, nursing a whiskey and keeping an eye on the main entrance. He finally saw her enter, carrying Yoby, with her nanny following behind. He picked up his phone and called her, keeping his eyes on her. He saw her stop and fumble in her purse, pulling out her phone. He saw the smile cross her face as she raised the phone to her ear. "Hey," she said, sounding glad to hear from him. "Where are you?"
"Across the lobby, in the bar," he said, with a grin.
She turned and found him, the smile getting bigger. "Let me run upstairs and take care of things on this end and I'll be back down. Will you wait?"
He chuckled. "As long as it takes," he said.
She disconnected and slid her phone back in her purse, then looked back at him. She looked great, even from across the lobby, in her sundress and sandals. Then he watched as she walked to the elevator bank and disappeared from his view. He got a refill on his drink and ordered another for her, then moved to one of the booths in the back of the bar, where it was dark and private. He sent her a text to let her know where he was. Then he sat back and waited.
He'd missed her. The last time he'd seen her was the wrap party, which had felt like months ago now. They had talked when they could, texted often, but that obviously wasn't the same as being together. And now, as he waited, just that few minutes of watching her across the lobby, had him thinking about her silky skin, her long legs, her full breasts. He wanted to touch her, feel the softness of her skin, suck on her nipples. He could almost feel what it was like to enter her, to slowly fill her up and feel how tight she was around him. The glass was at his lips and he actually bit the glass and groaned deep down in his throat. He could feel himself getting hard, just thinking about her.
And then there she was, walking across the bar towards him. She was still wearing the sundress and sandals, but she'd pulled her hair up on top of her head and had her glasses on. She slid into the booth and over next to him, letting her hand run up his thigh and then between his legs. She smiled knowingly and leaned in towards him, whispering in his ear, "That's not surprising." He turned to look at her and she grinned.
He pushed the extra glass of whiskey over towards her, then put his hand over hers. She gently squeezed and he made a noise. "Oh, God, baby," he murmured. He looked over at her. She was leaning slightly towards him, her legs crossed daintily under the table, her hand gently applying pressure.
"Do you have a room?" she asked, her voice throaty and low.
He cut off a groan, trying hard not to have an orgasm right there in the bar. He gently moved her hand away. "I do," he said, his voice tight. "But I can't leave just yet."
She laughed softly and picked up the glass, taking a sip of the whiskey. "Well, that's all on you, since it was like that when I got here," she said.
He gave her a side eyed smile and took a swallow from his glass. Then he cleared his throat. "Um, why don't you tell me about your day? That kind of thing," he said.
She smiled. "I can do that." She went on to tell him about the scenes they'd filmed and how much she liked the actors she was working with, particularly the one who was playing her son. She shared her thoughts about the story and how meaningful it was and how glad she was to have gotten the part. He listened but focused more on sipping his whiskey and breathing in and out, trying to settle himself down. It wasn't easy, with her sitting so close, hearing her voice, and seeing the excitement and passion for her work on her face as she talked.
Finally he set his glass down and turned to look at her. She stopped mid-sentence, biting down on her bottom lip. He cleared his throat again. "So, I'm gonna go upstairs." He breathed in. "Room 810." She nodded. He got up then and walked across the bar and into the lobby. Then he made his way quickly to the elevator. When the doors opened, he stepped in, punching his floor, and leaned back against the elevator wall and closed his eyes.
When he got off the elevator, he walked down the hall and let himself into his room. It was a corner room, overlooking the river and he stood at the windows and looked out, waiting. He wondered how long it would be before she followed. The thought had no sooner left his head when he heard a knock. He practically ran to the door, pulling it open. She was standing there, one foot crossed over the other, her sandals in her hand and a smile on her face. "May I come in?" she asked.
He grinned. "Please do," he said, and she walked in, letting her hand slide across his chest as she passed him. He closed the door and then turned to grab her free hand, pulling her into his arms for a kiss. She put her arms around his neck and he felt her drop the sandals on the floor behind him. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her close, letting his tongue trail over her lips and then, when she opened her mouth, find her tongue. He savored the kiss and the feel of her tongue against his, her lips against his own, listening to the little sounds she made in the back of her throat. When he finally pulled his lips from hers, she opened her eyes and looked up into his. "My whiskey lips," he murmured. She smiled and he smiled back.
She was sitting on the couch, one leg tucked up under her as she watched him pour them both a glass of whiskey. He walked back over and handed her a glass. "How long do you have?" he asked.
"Well, I'm thinking maybe an hour and then, after Yoby goes to bed" – she scrunched up her face – "maybe I could come back? Stay a little longer?"
"All night?"
She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "Almost." He started to sit next to her and she shook her head. "I want you to take your clothes off," she said.
He raised an eyebrow. "Okay," he said. "I want you to take yours off too then."
She smiled. "You first. I want to watch."
He smirked. "You do, huh?"
She nodded. "I do."
He sat down on the end of the bed, smiling, and took off his boots and socks. Then he stood back up and unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. He was watching her watch him and she took a sip of her whiskey and gave him a lazy smile. He took off his belt and then unfastened and unzipped his pants, pushing them down. He was already aroused again and he watched as a light flush colored her cheeks. He stopped for a moment.
She ran her tongue around the edge of the glass. "Keep going," she said, her voice low and thick. He slid off his boxers and then was standing in front of her, hands on his hips, naked and fully aroused. She squirmed on the couch and he smiled again. "You're so gorgeous," she whispered, almost sounding like she was in awe. She stood up then and walked towards him, putting her hands on his chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe. "I love looking at you," she said.
God, what did I ever do to deserve her? He swallowed hard as he looked into her eyes. "Your turn," he said, his voice sounding low and gravelly to his ears.
She turned her back to him. "Would you unzip my dress?" she asked. He reached out and pulled the zipper down slowly, all the way to the top of her panties. He couldn't help it, he reached out and let his finger trail down her back. She sucked in her breath and he thought that if she didn't hurry up and get naked, he would have to tear her clothes off.
She turned back around and took a step back from him. She reached up and pushed the straps of her dress down over her shoulders and then shrugged out of the dress, letting it fall to the floor. She stood in front of him, in her bra and panties, her chest rising and falling as she breathed in and out. She reached behind her and unfastened her bra, letting it fall to the floor. He caught his breath and moaned. She lowered her head slightly and then looked up at him, a tiny smile on her face. He reached out and ran his thumb over one nipple. She sucked in her breath and he felt it get hard almost instantly. Then she stuck her thumbs in the sides of her panties and shimmied out of them, until they were in a pool around her feet. She stepped out of them and towards him, reaching out and taking him in her hands.
He closed his eyes for a second as he felt her hands on him. When he opened his eyes, she was looking up at him and he felt her hands slide up and down his shaft. He breathed in raggedly. "I can't wait," he whispered.
She took another step closer. "Touch me," she said softly, and he did and he nearly lost control when he felt how wet she was.
"Oh, God, Connie," he growled. He put his hands on her arms and turned her towards the bed, pushing her down gently and then lowering himself on top of her. He put his hands on her waist and pushed into her as she lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist. She moved her hips back and forth as he pressed in more urgently. He was thrusting in and out of her more quickly, more forcefully, overwhelmed with his desire for her.
She put her hand on his shoulders and he felt her legs pulling him in more and more. Then suddenly it felt like he was going over a cliff and he felt himself slam into her with his release, shouting her name out over and over. He was aware of her arching herself into him, lifting her hips off the bed as she frantically moved her hips and then she cried out and he felt her pulsing around him and he held her tightly against him as she finally caught her breath. He held her so close that he could feel her heartbeat and he wondered if she could feel his.
"You okay?" he whispered.
She nodded against his shoulder. He felt her hands slide under his arms and up his back, then lay flat against his shoulder blades. "I have missed this," she said softly. "So much." He lifted his head so he could look at her. "I've missed you. Thank you for coming."
He bent down and brushed his lips against hers. "Thanks for letting me." He kissed her again. "I've missed you too." He rolled onto his side then, taking her with him. He brushed her hair off her face, letting his fingers trail down her cheek. "I miss everything about you."
She smiled and then, surprisingly, he saw the hint of tears in her eyes. He held his breath, unsure what it meant. "I wonder sometimes what my life would have been like if I hadn't met you," she said then. "I really do, Chip. Don't you? I mean, what if this show had never happened? What if Callie hadn't dreamed this up? Would we still have crossed paths somehow? Was this really inevitable?"
He bit down on his lip, letting his fingers run up and down her arm. "I believe it was. But I don't know about crossing paths. I think that's why this show came to be and why me and you got these parts, though. Because that was meant to be. That part was inevitable."
She nodded thoughtfully, letting her finger trace his jawline. "I love you so much," she said softly. "It scares me sometimes."
He frowned. "Why does it scare you?"
"It's fragile, in some ways. It's like an intricate puzzle or a delicate balancing act. One wrong move or one errant breeze and it's all falling down around us."
He shook his head. "I think we're stronger than that." He took a deep breath and then breathed out. "I remember that night I came to your house, that very first time. Do you?" She nodded and smiled. "I felt like I couldn't do anything else but do this with you. Like I had no choice in the matter."
She nodded again. "I felt like that too." She sighed then. "I need to get back to my room, check in on Yoby. But I'll be back later."
He pulled her close and kissed her. "I can't wait." She lingered a little longer, then finally untangled from him, rolled out of bed, and picked her clothes up off the floor. He propped himself up on his elbow as he watched her get dressed. She looked in the mirror over the couch and ran her fingers through her hair, smoothed down her dress, and put back on her glasses. Then she walked back to the bed and sat on the edge.
"I'll see you as soon as I can." She ran the back of her hand over his cheek and he leaned into it.
"I'll be waiting," he said.
She got up and walked to the hallway that led to the door. She turned back and smiled, blowing him a kiss. He snatched the air and held it to his chest and she laughed. Then she turned and was gone. He laid back against the pillow, hearing the door open and then close. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. I'm the luckiest damn guy in the whole world.
He could see her face by the light of the full moon shining through the windows, deep into the night. She was biting down on her lower lip and her eyes were fastened on his as she hovered over him. She propped herself up with her hands on either side of his shoulders. He had both of her breasts in his hands as she straddled him. He was deep inside her, feeling her tight around him, and he breathed in sharply. She moved her hands to his shoulders and lowered herself so that her breasts were pressing against his chest and her hands were clasped behind his neck. He slid his hands around her back and down to cup her ass as she swirled her hips around him. Her hair covered them like a curtain, blocking some of the light and she pressed her lips against his.
"I love you," she whispered.
"I love you," he whispered back, pressing down on her ass as he captured her mouth with his. He heard her start to moan and he felt her start to pulse around him and then let himself go as they cried out together. When she finally relaxed on top of him, he slid his arms around her as she nestled her head against his neck. He let his hand drift up and down her back as they both caught their breath.
She finally rolled off of him and onto her side and he rolled over to face her. She ran the back of her hand over his cheek and smiled. "Thank you so much for coming here," she said. "I have missed you so much."
He smiled back at her. "I'm glad I could make it work. I just wish I could stay longer."
She shook her head and frowned. "It's okay. At least we know there will be Nashville."
He laughed softly. "Yes, that's very true. And thank God for that."
She let her fingers run through his hair. "Do you think anyone will put two and two together about why you're here? At this hotel? Where I am?"
He winked. "I use my real last name. It typically throws people off." She looked a little confused. "Puskar. Most people don't know me that way."
She smiled. "Right." She laughed. "I don't know you that way either, truthfully." She leaned in and kissed him. "And now, Mr. Puskar, I need to maybe get a little sleep. I'm not shooting tomorrow, luckily, but I'll need to get back to my room before long."
He pulled her close. "I'm gonna miss you til I see you again."
She smiled. "Same." Then he rolled her over so that her back was to him, fitted himself behind her and breathed in deeply, glad she was in his arms, even for just a night.
A/N: I have to tell you, the scene in finale between Deacon and Rayna was so amazing, but even more amazing was seeing her for the finale performance. And that little kiss! All the Bristen feels, y'all.