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Chapter 26

I don't need a parachute
Baby if I've got you
Baby if I've got you
I don't need a parachute
You're gonna catch me
You're gonna catch if I fall
Down, down, down

Cheryl Cole - Parachute

What the hell!

Had he really just said what I thought he had said? Did he mean what I thought he meant? I didn't know what to say, what to think, what to do. He had just completely thrown me for a loop. Of all the ways I had been expecting our previous conversation to go, this had not been how I had envisioned it to end. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought that Edward, would be saying what I thought he was saying. I couldn't dare get my hopes up, because let's be honest here, the chances of his meaning being the meaning I thought it was, was pretty slim in my books.

"Baby... I want you to stay... here with me." His voice sounded so soft, so breakable. "Right from the first time I met you, I've been falling in love with you, and now I'm in so deep, it scares the shit out of me."

Ok, so it wasn't the most eloquent of declarations, but it was a declaration regardless.

The problem was, I had no idea how to respond. His every words were like my dreams coming true. But that's the thing with dreams, they are your opportunity to want the unobtainable. Edward had always been unobtainable to me, for many, many reasons, and now, he was giving me the option, and I was scared to death. I was scared to allow myself to openly want him. I was scared to take that chance.

"If you feel even a tenth of what I feel for you Baby, please,"

"Edward, I'm pregnant... with your Brother's baby." Was the only thing I could think to say.

"And that... only makes me love you more."

Confusion didn't even begin to describe how I felt right now. The mornings events had practically given me whiplash.

"I... Uh... I..." I couldn't find words, and even if I could have, I doubted very much they would have made any sense.

"Baby, do you have any... any feelings at all for me?"

"Yes." I replied without even thinking, but knowing it was the absolute truth.

"Then, that's all we need to know right now." His voice was so happy, like he had just won the lottery or something.

I wanted to believe him, I wanted it to be true. But I wasn't one hundred percent convinced that everything would work out fine, just because we had both admitted to feeling something for the other. There were roadblocks in our way, a huge one being that I was pregnant, with another man... and woman's child. He might not be worried about that now, but would he be when I really started showing, when the baby started kicking, when I went into labour.

I had gone into this knowing all the facts, knowing all the possible outcomes. Edward didn't. He hadn't even had a say in the matter. Granted at the point the decision had been made, his opinion hadn't really mattered, but it would if we became a couple. Was he prepared? Could he even begin to prepare now?

It was a sad fact of being pregnant, that things did sometimes go wrong, during pregnancy, during labour. I had accepted the risks and continued regardless. But imagine, if for only a minute, if something were to happen to me, Edward would firmly be dragged into the situation, possibly allowing it to cause a rift between his family and himself. Could I cope with that knowledge, even if it the possibility was extremely slim.

"I don't know if it's enough." I murmured, hating having to say the words, but unable to hide my fear.

In the whole time we had been talking, I hadn't been able to bring myself to look him in the eye, scared maybe, of what I would find in his. His eyes were impossibly hypnotising, and I knew I would have agreed to pretty much anything.

"I love you Bella. And I'm not going anywhere!" He told me, as he lifted my chin, forcing me to see nothing but the truth in his green orbs. "I know that we're not in the most ideal of situations, and I know things are going to be anything but easy. But I really don't care, as long as you're here, with me." His declarations were so heartfelt, tears filled my eyes.

"I think... I think... I don't know what I think. Time maybe."

"We have time." He answered, sounding so sure of himself, of us. "Just know, my feelings for you, haven't changed only grown stronger, in the time that I've known you."

I nodded, accepting his words, his truth, his everything. I just needed time to process everything. I leant forward and gave him a hug, holding him to me tightly, hoping my physical actions could express everything my voice could not.

Without another word, I got up from my seat, and headed back to my room, climbing under the warm duvet, allowing our conversation to rerun through my mind. I wanted to be with him, that was without a doubt, I just didn't know if it was the right thing right now. I didn't want to get hurt, and I certainly didn't want to hurt him. But hurting him was a huge possibility.

At some point, through my wild thoughts, I had managed to drift off to sleep, waking to feel no better than I did before I slept. In fact, the pounding in my head, only made me feel worse. I felt groggy, sleepy, my eyes burned. Yet at some point during my sleep, I had come to a decision, and for the first time in over a day, I felt at peace with myself.

I was desperate for some pain relief, but knowing it was inadvisable unless desperately necessary, I stumbled out of my room, following the sounds of the TV. Edward was sat, still in his pyjamas, looking as God like as possible, but there really was no difference if I'm honest. He always looked impossibly perfect.

"Hey, you ok?" He asked having noticed me padding toward him and the couch. "I popped my head in earlier to see if you wanted food, but you were out for the count."

"Just the last few days catching up on me I guess." I replied, my voice gruff with the little sleep I had managed to get. "Pip hasn't made me throw up yet today though, so I shouldn't complain." I joked, trying to break the ice a little.

I hated that everything between us seemed so tense, and awkward. I missed the easiness of our friendship, and I wanted it back. I just wasn't sure we ever would. You heard it all the time that people who were friends tried to date, and it didn't work, and any friendship they had, had went down the drain with the failed relationship. I didn't want that to be me and Edward.

"I'm scared." I whispered, part of me hoping he'd hear, another part hoping he didn't.

"What about?" He asked, his voice immediately worrying, as he turned the TV off and twisted to face me.

"Us." I told him after a few moments.

He looked at me confused, and I had no idea how to explain to him why I was scared of there ever being an us. I should have waited, gathered my thoughts and my words before I started this, but it was too late now.

"When I agreed to be a surrogate for Rose and Em, I did so, knowing I was going to be putting parts of my life on hold for a while. And I was ok with that. I truly was." I began to try and explain as best as I could. "I didn't count on falling in love with their whole family. I expected to just walk away once this was all over."

Edward sat patiently, waiting for me to gather my thoughts and words together. His expression gave nothing away as to what he was thinking or feeling, and honestly that unnerved me a little.

"I'm scared that I'm going to hurt you in some way, I'm scared of taking a chance, and I'm scared that once I start getting really pregnant, it'll all get too much for you. And I won't blame you Edward. But I absolutely hate that if it came to that, it would cause a rift between you and your family, or you might resent Pip when it's born for breaking us up." I babbled, only realizing after I had finished exactly what I had said. "No... I don't mean... shit, I didn't mean to..."

"Baby, it's ok, I knew what you meant." He quickly soothed me. "I can't promise you baby, that I won't freak out at some point during the rest of the pregnancy. What you're doing is a huge thing, and honestly, I am so proud of you for this huge selfless thing you're doing for my family, and I know it's not going to be easy watching you being pregnant." At his words, I felt like my heart was breaking a little. "But, the reason it won't be easy is for purely selfish reasons."

Selfish reasons. What did he mean selfish reasons? Was this his way of telling me he wasn't able to have children either?

The confusion must have shown on my face, because he chuckled, leaning over slightly and taking my hand in his own. I was immediately aware of how right my hand felt wrapped in his. How much I wanted him to hold it, for no other reason than he felt like it. I had always wanted to be with him, but it now seemed to reach an even higher level. I wanted him, and only him. I was prepared to work and fight to keep him.

"I don't mean to freak you out when I say this, and I would never begrudge my Brother anything, but I do wish I had met you first. I regret walking out that night, and I regret not telling you sooner." Again I was still confused as to why saying those things might have freaked me out. Yes they were a little selfish, but not overly so. "I'm not ready to be a parent, but over the last few months, I have wished that, this pregnancy was ours and not Rose and Em's."

Holy shit! Was he saying what I think he was saying?

"I don't want you to think that I'm jealous or anything, or I'm going to have issues with Pip being theirs," He clarified. "But when I look at my future, all I see is you."

Tears poured down my cheeks. I was both happy and sad. Happy that it seemed he felt for me, exactly how I felt for him. But sad, that if we were really going to do this, he was going to have to watch me have a baby, and it wasn't even his.

"This is going to be complicated." I told him.

I wasn't purposely trying to put him off, but I needed him to know the truth, I needed him to know everything, exactly what he was getting himself into. It wouldn't be fair to try to do this with him, and then in a few months have him find something out that he couldn't deal with.

"It's only going to get complicated if we let it." He sounded so confident.

"I think you need to speak to someone. You know find out exactly what you're walking into."

"I already have." He replied.

My head shot up, as I looked him in the eye. I had not been expecting that answer at all.

"I've spoken to a counsellor, at the group you used to volunteer for actually. I wanted to be prepared to help you through stuff, whether only as a friend or more."

I was astonished. Even more tears began to pour from my eyes. This man was unbelievable. It was hard to believe he was real sometimes. I doubted many men in the world would have gone to the lengths that Edward had, in fact, most guys would have probably run as far as possible, as fast as possible.

"I know, that there could be a very slim possibility that something could go wrong, and it might mean you can't have any more children. But Baby, I don't care. Whatever happens, happens, and we'll deal with it... together."

All I could do was nod. He was unreal.

"I... I need you to make me a promise." I hated asking for more, when he was giving me so much already, but this was for him.

"Anything Baby."

"You have to tell me, talk to me, when things weird you out. You need to be honest with me."

"I promise. But it works both ways." He agreed without even having to think about it.

I nodded, before snuggling up into his side, feeling his arms immediately wrap around me, and his lips grazing my forehead and lingering. We had sat this way many times before, and I didn't really expect to feel any different, but surprisingly I did. I felt so much better. For the first time, I wasn't over thinking things, I wasn't wishing things could be different between us. I wasn't having to wonder whether our snuggle was lasting longer than it should for friends. It all felt kind of perfect now.

"Can we... can we take this... slowly?" I asked quietly, almost scared of his response.

"As slow or as fast as you like Baby." He agreed. "But let's not define this by speed, let's just take it one step at a time, as and when we're both comfortable, ok?"

"You're kind of perfect you know." I told him.

"I'm far from it Baby, but thank you anyway." He chuckled, tightening his grip on me, and kissing my forehead again.

"So you're... you know?" Angela asked me later that week.

We had both agreed earlier in the week that we needed to go for drinks one night after work to catch each other up on our personal lives. It felt so long ago that we actually sat down and talked properly, rather than just having quick five minute chats at the fax machine. Even our lunch times seemed to fly by without us having actually got into any real juicy gossip.

"Yeah... well, trying to." I admitted, feeling my cheeks burning with a pointless blush.

"What do you mean trying?"

"Well, it's complicated, and well I'm having his Brother's baby for God's sake, you can't get any complicated than that."

"And how does he feel about you doing that?" She asked, taking a sip of wine. "I mean, before you were just a friend, but now you're what... his girlfriend,"

"He says he's ok with. But let's face it, I'm not exactly showing, so it could be a case of out of sight out of mind kind of thing."

"I'm sure it isn't."

"I guess. I mean, I am expecting him to freak out at some point, how could he not. I'm sure I will." I admitted. "But he's promised that if something starts to bother him, he's going to talk to me about it, and vice versa."

It felt good to be talking to Angela about this stuff. I suppose it was because she was kind of unbiased. She was out of the situation, and other than it involving me, she had no emotional ties to it. I felt sure I could talk to either rose or Alice, hell even Esme, but Edward was their family, and it would just feel all kinds of awkward.

"So... are you going to stay living with him?"

Ah... this was something I had yet to decide on. It made sense in a lot of ways to stay put, but there was a part of me that felt maybe it would be for the best if I didn't. I loved being at Edward's, and could honestly see me living there with him permanently, coming home to him every night, integrating our lives together so it became our home rather than his. But with these thoughts also came doubt. We had literally become official only two days ago, and even though I had been living there for a while now, allowing it to become permanent seemed a little fast. I was also very aware that if things didn't work out between us, I would have nowhere to go. Not that I ever thought Edward would see me homeless or anything, but it did scare me.

"I think so. I mean at least for the time being." I told her, as I nibbled on a bread stick. Angela knew about my telling Edward I thought it would be best to move out, so there was no need to revisit that subject. "I got a letter from my old landlord the other day, he's rebuilding the apartment block and wanted to know if I wanted my old apartment back."

I had omitted from telling Edward that. I hadn't wanted to rock the boat more than I already had. I knew it was something I would have to inevitably talk to him about, but until I really had an idea of what I was going to do, there was no point.

"You're not really thinking about it are you?"

"I don't know. It would be nice to have my own place again, but then I don't know,"

"You'd be crazy if you did. I mean the guy completely ignored complaints from practically everyone in your building, resulting in the boiler bursting and burning down the whole place. He's just lucky nobody was killed."

"I know, and that's what is stopping me from saying yes, but you can't blame me for wanting to return to something, and somewhere familiar."

"Maybe." Angela agreed. "Personally, I'd be fighting tooth and nail to stay with that God you've managed to bag." She giggled.

This was why I loved Angela so. She knew when the subject had or was getting too heavy. That and she also wanted more juicy gossip on Edward. I couldn't say I blamed her though, I found him too perfect to be true at times.

After another hour or so of catching up, Angela called Ben who came to pick us up. I had tried to argue that I could walk, since Edward's apartment was only five or six blocks away, but ever since that night with James texting me when we were at the wine bar, she wouldn't hear of me walking anywhere at night alone. I have to admit though, it bothered me to do so more now than it had ever done before. Ben also warned me and made me promise that even if I wasn't out with Angela, and I ever found myself with no-one to walk me, or drive me home, I had to call him. At the time, I had burst into tears, wondering how I had managed to find myself such good friends.

When I walked into the apartment, Edward was sat with his feet up on the coffee table, watching a sports channel. The moment he saw me though, he jumped up from his seat and came over to me, pulling me into a hug, before planting a soft kiss on my lips. Shots of electricity ran up and down my spine from his touch. I still couldn't believe that this amazing man wanted to be with me.

"Did you have fun with Angela?" He asked me sweetly.

He was a rare find that was for sure. I doubted many guys would ever think to ask their girlfriends about their days, let alone remember they were going out for a drink after work with friends.

"Yeah. It was nice to catch up, we haven't really had chance to for a while." I answered him, pulling my jacket off and hanging it up in the closet.

"Angela's not walking home on her own is she?"

"No, she had Ben come pick us up. Not that it was really necessary, we were what, six blocks away." I scoffed, leading us back to the living room to where Edward had been stretched out only a few minutes before.

"It doesn't matter how far you were away Baby," Edward's voice sounded exasperated. "Look, I don't want to sound controlling, but please promise me, that you never walk home alone. It isn't safe."

I didn't want to argue with him over something so small, especially when I knew he was only saying it because he cared. I nodded and sank into the sofa followed quickly by Edward, who seemed content with my answer, and his attention returned to whatever it was he was watching. I on the other hand lost myself in my thoughts. It hadn't escaped me, that somewhere along the way, since meeting the Cullen's, I had changed. Whether it was for the better or for the worst, I was yet to decide.

Only a few months ago, had Edward told me not to walk home alone again, I would have fought him tooth and nail over it, purposely going against him, for nothing more than proving my own point. To show him that I could look after myself, as I had been doing for years. It would have bothered me that he was seemingly trying to tell me what to do, I would have felt smothered. But now, I completely understood why he didn't want me out there alone, even if the whole thing with James hadn't have happened. I respected him more for asking me, rather than telling me. But I was mostly struck by the fact I was willing to do as he had asked, and knew that at one point, I would end up calling him to come walk me home or even pick me up, whereas before I wouldn't have thought twice about it.

"Baby, where'd you go?" Edward's hand was suddenly waving in front of me.

"Huh, sorry." I focused on his face, his eyes concerned.

"You ok?"

"Oh, yeah, just realizing something, is all." I replied, shaking my head to clear my thoughts. "Did you say something?" I smiled, changing the subject before he could dwell on it further.

"Alice just called." How I had missed that was beyond me, but I nodded along. "She has decided that we're all heading out to Forks Friday evening, straight after work, so we can get in a full weekend there. Is that ok with you?" He asked me hesitantly. "I mean I can tell her no if you want," He added as an after thought.

I was stumped. Did I make it obvious that I didn't want to go, or just agree nonchalantly and then pull out at the last minute. Or do I just suck it up and go. No matter which I chose to do, I didn't want to show Edward that there was a problem, I didn't want more attention putting on it than was absolutely necessary. I could feel him watching me, waiting anxiously for a response.

My mind whizzed through scenarios. I knew without a doubt, that if I chose not to go, Edward wouldn't either. Not only would that make me feel awful, that he was missing out on time with his family, because of me, but when I did nothing all weekend, what would my excuse be then. 'Oh my plans fell through', yeah that wasn't going to work.

At the same time, I wasn't sure why I was making such as big deal about going. I knew the small town like the back of my hand, I felt sure if I really wanted to, I could go all weekend without being spotted by any of it's residents. Whose to say I even had to go anywhere once I got there. I was sure Esme could help me out, hold me up in the kitchen or something.

Another pro to going, was finally telling them all, everything. They deserved to know, Emmett, Rose and Edward especially. Probably Edward more so now that we were dating... kind of. It would give me the opportunity to go and see Jake, explain to him, in person about my being a surrogate. My Dad had been on at me constantly to tell him, even offering for Billy and himself to do it, but I had always maintained that I should be the one. I hadn't wanted to do it over the phone though.

"No, it's fine, we can go if you want." I found myself saying.

Edward looked at me as though he truly couldn't believe my answer. Had I been that obvious in my dislike of the idea of going? Did he even have an idea why? The only person that knew to my knowledge was Esme, and I was sure she wouldn't have told him, since she had been encouraging me since she found out to tell everyone, though had made it very clear it was my story to tell, and not hers. Or even worse, had he found out things when he had been to Forks to paint his room, and just not mentioned it, waiting for me to tell him?

"Are you sure?" He asked, almost as though he was giving me the chance to opt out.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I replied, as convincingly as I could manage. "Maybe invite Seth and Alec." I suggested. "Seth can show you around properly." Edward's forehead creased, clearly wondering why I wouldn't want to be their tour guide. "It's just, quite a few of the good places involve a bit of hiking and stuff, and well since I can't seem to walk on flat surfaces without becoming good friends with the floor, it would probably be best if he took you." Wow, even I was shocked at how quick I came up with that one.

"Yeah... ok." He agreed. "Just so you know though, I would never... and I mean never let you get hurt out there."

I felt a little overwhelmed by the sincerity in his voice. I truly believed every word he said, even though I knew it wasn't possible for him to prevent me being hurt, but the fact he felt so sure, and would try his utmost to prevent anything happening, made my heart swarm with warmth. I couldn't resist leaning into him and kissing him tenderly.

"I know you wouldn't." I told him, looking him dead in the eye, wanting to make sure, he knew I believed him.

He kissed me again softly, before pulling away and wrapping his arm around me so I could cuddle into his side.

Ever since we had talked and decided to give us a go, we had only kissed a few times, none of which really got very heated. In the whole two days, I had felt happy with how things were going, but also slightly frustrated. I know I had told him I wanted to go slowly, but sometimes it felt as though if we went any slower, we would start to go backwards. In my more clear thinking moments, I knew it was more than likely my hormones talking, and since I spent much of the day horny, there really was no wonder I wanted the man I now called mine, to simply ravish me.

We hadn't told anyone yet about us, and I wasn't even sure how we would or should go about it. Edward had suggested telling Rose and Em first, since it affected them more than anyone else, and then after them, it was whoever. I liked his plan, but I had thought we had a little more time before we had to tell them, but now, I knew it would have to be done before we headed to Forks, which gave us two days, one of which was the day we would be heading to Forks. Edward had told me over and over that they were going to be ok with it, since they both knew of his feelings for me, having guessed early on, and Rose clearly knew of my feelings for him, but it didn't stop the nerves of actually having to admit it to them.

Before I knew it, it was Friday afternoon, and I was sat at work with Angela, waiting for Edward to come and pick me up. We had told Em and Rose last night over dinner, and honestly, though I was expecting them to be ok about it, there response kind of shocked me. Rose started weeping, immediately blaming it on her hormones, declaring she was so over the moon happy for us, and Emmett, as per usual, overreacted by getting on his knees and thanking God that we had come to our senses. Now all that was left to do was tell everyone else. Edward had promised me that he would buy us both some ear plugs for when we told Alice and his Mom, since he was expecting some form of screeching.

"It'll be fine Bella, I'm sure of it." Angela comforted me.

As the day had progressed, I had become more and more nervous, knowing that this weekend, they would quite probably find out everything. I hadn't decided how I was going to tell them, or even when exactly, but I knew the longer I left it, the harder and worse it was going to be. Angela had actually agreed with me on that point, though had added, that if I needed to get away, all I had to do was call her and she and Ben would come get me. I was so thankful that she actually understood how hard this was going to be for me.

The night before, Edward, had asked me if I could ask Jane if I could have Monday off, so we wouldn't have to rush off early on Sunday, and could instead spend time with my Dad. I had appreciated the thought, and had done as he asked, only to have Jane willingly give me the day, shocked since I rarely, if ever asked for vacation days, normally having to have them forced upon me.

I knew Sunday however wouldn't be spent how Edward was planning. I was planning on going and seeing Jake in the morning, before returning to talk to the whole family, telling them everything. On that part of it though, I was weighing up my options, as to whether I got my Dad to come and help me, or even Seth. I just couldn't decide.

Edward appeared at the other side of the room, a bright smile appearing on his face when he spotted Angela and I. I myself found myself smiling back the moment he began heading toward us. It was crazy how just the sight of him made me light up like a damn bulb.

"Hey Angela," Edward greeted her, immediately putting his arm around my waist and kissing my cheek. "Hey Baby, you almost ready?"

"Aww how sweet are the two of you together." Angela teased. "You're enough to give me a cavity."

"Jealousy's a killer, huh Ange." I replied teasingly. I turned and grabbed my bag and coat, before taking Edward's offered hand. "Let's go." I forced a smile his way.

"Call me later B." Angela shouted after us, making it sound like the most natural thing in the world for her to remind me to call her.

Since Edward had put both of our bags in the trunk this morning before we left for work, he drove us toward Tacoma, rather than catching the ferry across the Sound, since we both knew at this time of day, it was bound to busy. He told me we would meet the rest of his family in Forks, since we were all leaving Seattle at different times. We settled in quickly for the long four hour journey ahead of us, though it became clear right from the start, it wasn't going to be a four hour journey, with the speed Edward was going.

About an hour into the drive, Esme called to update us on where she and Carlisle were, and that she was sure Emmett and Rose, and Alice and Jasper weren't too far behind them. Once I had relayed the information of their location to Edward, it was like the words struck something in him, as he slowly but surely picked up the speed, Esme then text me, simply putting 'Cullen competitiveness'. I should have known Edward would be hell bent in beating his siblings there.

Twenty minutes later, a little yellow Porsche flew past, honking it's horn. Edward was already breaking the speed limit, and I could see him arguing internally with himself as to whether to push the speed some more. The argument only got stronger when Rosalie's red BMW flew by, Emmett making things worse by flipping Edward the bird. I heard Edward growl as he pushed his foot further to the floor.

"Edward, don't." I told him with a sigh.

He immediately did as I asked, and backed off of the gas, though I could see how much it pained him to do so, which honestly only made me feel better about what I was about to do.

"Trust me." I told him.

It was rush hour on a Friday evening. I knew from experience that Port Angeles would be solid with traffic, and it would take an age to get through. It was however the best known way to get to Forks, and unless they altered their GPS to avoid Port Angeles, which by the time they would know to, it would be too late and the road signs wouldn't tell them any other way.

However having spent considerable amounts of time in my last two years of High School either in Port Angeles or Seattle, I knew of a way around the traffic. It wasn't so much a short cut, since the bends actually made it further in miles, but time wise it would save some.

I text Esme and Carlisle who had by now caught up, and were only a few cars behind, and told them to just follow us, explaining briefly why we were going to avoid Port Angeles. Esme's response was that I was sneaky, but she loved it, obviously knowing I wasn't cluing her other two children in on the plan.

Edward was a little shocked when I told him to exit the one oh one just after the Sequim Valley airport exit, but did as I asked him, and from there on, followed my every direction, until we rejoined the one oh one, completely missing out entering Port Angeles, knowing his Brother and Sister, were more than likely still stuck somewhere in the traffic of Port Angeles.

"Jesus Christ Baby, you are amazing." Edward crowed as we hit the one oh one, finding nothing but smooth moving traffic.

An hour later, Edward was pulling into the drive way of the Cullen's new house. Though I had been told where it was, I was rather pleased to find we hadn't had to go through the town. I knew I would inevitably have to at some point over the weekend, but firstly I wanted to settle in, and mentally prepare myself for the onslaught of feelings being back here.

Having previously discussed the subject, on whether we were going to share Edward's room, or I would stay in the guest room, Edward took both of our bags upstairs to his room. When we had made the decision, though I felt more than comfortable sharing a bed with Edward, I had to admit my main purpose for choosing to do so now, was simply because I hated the idea of being alone this weekend, at any point. I felt guilty for not telling Edward so, but I was hoping that once he was aware of how hard this trip was for me, he would understand.

The house itself was very modern, but it strangely fit in it's surroundings perfectly. It didn't look as though it was newly built, and it wasn't ostentatious in any way, in fact you couldn't even see it from the main road. The inside décor, screamed Esme. It was so tasteful, minimal, but in a warm kind of way. The whole back of the house was a wall of glass, looking out of the beautiful scenery. The river, at one of it's quieter points was at the far end of the garden, flowing quietly. I knew even then, that come sunset, it would be exquisite.

Half an hour later, Jasper and Alice, Rose and Emmett all bombarded their way into the house, demanding to know how we had managed to get here before them, when they had been stuck in the solid traffic for a good forty minutes. It soon became apparent that I was the reason behind our early arrival, which caused quite an amount of playful arguing between the siblings over Edward and Carlisle having cheated by having me.

The rest of the night was actually quite quiet, well apart from when Alice realized my things weren't in the guest room, when she had gone in, in order to put my outfits together for the following day. She had practically screamed the house down when it became obvious where my things were, and why. An hour later, and my cheeks were still burning from the embarrassment, though thankfully she had managed to refrain from asking too many questions, which I could tell she would ask later, because Alice was, well Alice, and she would want to know all the juicy details.

Falling asleep next to Edward that night, was probably one of the only good things about being Forks, and whilst he fell asleep rather quickly, I was left pondering my thoughts, wondering exactly how I was going to get through the next few days. Both Angela and Seth had been saints, texting me every few hours or so, constantly telling me that everything would be ok.

It quite literally felt as though I had just fallen asleep, when Alice came bounding into the room like a kid on Christmas morning, declaring it time to get up, so we could go exploring. I had groaned as I crawled from bed to begin getting ready, knowing from experience that she wouldn't leave us alone until we did as she asked. Thankfully I managed for the third time in a row to not throw up, but the joy from that fact, lasted only a few minutes, when I realized after putting on my camisole, that I was now, visibly pregnant.

Looking out of the window, and seeing nothing but clear skies and sunshine, I knew it would be too warm to wear a sweater all day, without looking like a complete idiot, but I wasn't sure how prepared I was to walk around my home town, showing off a baby bump. A thousand different feelings hit me then. My thoughts were those similar to someone who was ashamed of her pregnancy, and ashamed should be the last thing I felt. I felt so guilty for thinking and feeling the way I did, but I couldn't help but want to just hide the bump for just this one weekend.

"Hey Baby, you almost..." Edward's voice broke my thoughts. "Bella! Baby, what's wrong?" And then there he was, cupping my face in his hands, his eyes practically screaming with worry. "Talk to me Baby."

I couldn't tell him. Regardless of how he felt about me, he would think I was being stupid, or think I was horrible for being so upset by something so stupid. Even I felt stupid, but I couldn't help my thoughts.

Edward kept prompting me to tell him, just even hint at what the problem was, his thumbs constantly swiping at my tears that I hadn't realized were pouring down my cheeks.

"I'm being stupid." I wept.

"No you're not, what's wrong Baby, please tell me."

"People can see Pip." I practically whispered, showing him my evident bump.

He didn't laugh, or even smile. He simply rubbed his hand over my small bump, and then pulled me into a hug, whispering that everything was going to be ok. I believed him, feeling so much better that I had told him and he hadn't belittled my feelings. Giving me a squeeze, he pulled away, and told me he was going to be right back. I leant against the bathroom counter, swiping away my tears, trying to calm myself so that when I finally went downstairs, no-one would be any the wiser to my little morning breakdown.

As promised, Edward did come right back, with Esme in tow, who carried a knowing smile, and some tops. She ordered Edward from the room, and closed the bathroom door, giving us both some privacy. Without a word, she pulled me into a motherly hug, squeezing all my worries from me. Having never known my own Mom, having Esme was like a gift from heaven. I felt like she understood me, I assumed in only a way a mother could. Some of her ways reminded me of my Grandma Swan, but even then my memories were vague, since she had died when I was much younger.

"You know, when I was pregnant with Edward, I refused to go anywhere when I first started showing, I felt like a whale, I was much bigger with him than I was with Emmett believe it or not." She told me, still holding me tight to her. "You're not a bad person for feeling this way sweetheart, you are being completely normal."

"I'm not ready for everyone in town to see me this way." I whispered, knowing she would completely understand my fears.

"And they won't." She told me adamantly, as she pulled away, and showed me the selection of tops she had brought.

Fifteen minutes later, I followed Esme down the stairs, feeling much more confident thanks to the t-shirt Esme had lent me. It's wasn't baggy enough that it looked bad, but it was loose enough that Pip wasn't showing through, and most importantly, no-one but Edward and Esme knew about how I felt.

After breakfast, Seth and Alec arrived, the former making his presence known not just to everyone in the house, but any wildlife in the vicinity. He bulldozed all our plans, declaring that we were going to go hiking, after we had of course given them a thorough tour of down town, which we had both joked would take a maximum of five minutes.

Once we had shown everyone where my old high school was, and the diner, and at Seth's demand my Dad's house, so as he said, I could show everyone how I escaped. Both Emmett and Edward practically had heart attacks, when I suggested climbing in through my window after finding the front door locked. I showed them my old Chevy truck, that despite having not been used in a while, thundered to a start first time. Edward again went practically translucent at the suggestion we drive around town in the truck, and Rose was practically begging that we take it back to Seattle, so she could have fun playing with it.

On our way back through town, we stopped at the Police Department to see my Dad, since I had no idea how much of him I would see whilst in town. June gushed over me, nearly bursting into tears as she hugged me tightly. She had known me since I was born, hell she had babysat me on more than one occasion. She was like an Auntie I guess. The few guys who worked at the station told me it was good to see me, and that I was looking good.

For the first time in such a long time, it felt good to be back in Forks. I wasn't naïve enough to know the feeling wouldn't last, but thankfully, it was going ok so far.

Unbeknownst to me, there was a huge bonfire happening in La Push that evening, which Seth had decided we were all going to. My Dad upon seeing me lit up, and told me how pleased he was, that I had come. I knew the meaning of what he meant, if no-one else did. It was then I decided I was going to have to start swallowing my fears and visit more often.

After the visiting was over, the hiking was to begin, though as Rose demanded, she needed to pee, and was getting hungry. With playful annoyance, Seth pulled in at the local store, where the wash rooms were at the very least clean, and where we could all grab some drinks and snacks. I wandered the few aisles, hoping I would go, for the most part unnoticed, though with Alice making comments at how cute the store was, it was unlikely.

I was on the homestretch when in walked Mrs. Crowley. I had gone through high school with her son, Tyler, and she was by far, one of the biggest gossipers, I knew the whole town would know I was here if she saw me. It wasn't so much that I was afraid, it was more that I just didn't want the hassle, and I certainly didn't want her to be the one to tell the Cullen's my 'big secret'.

"Alice." I hissed, gaining her immediate attention. "If you love me at all, you will help me get out of here unseen."

The confusion on her face appeared straight away, as she stood tall and looked around the store, immediately spotting Mrs. Crowley. She thankfully nodded, not asking any further questions. We were almost to the door when Seth appeared, a cheeky grin plastered on his face.

"Geez Bells, just pick something to eat already and let's go." He announced loudly. I wanted to be so angry with him, but I knew had he known Mrs. Crowley was in here, he wouldn't have dreamt of announcing my presence quite so loudly. "Oh fuck!" He exclaimed, obviously having finally noticed her. "Ali, here, I'll pay for those, why don't you go on out to the car."

At that point, I was so thankful for Seth. I'm sure Alice didn't understand why he was sending her out to the car, and it would only mean having to explain one more thing to them all, but at the very least, she wouldn't be gossiped about later.

"Why if it isn't Bella Swan." Her voice was like nails on a chop board. "And Seth Clearwater."

Forcing a smile onto my face, I turned around to face her, Seth beside me, his arm supportively wrapped around my shoulders. Taking in her appearance, it was easy to see she had gained about thirty pounds at a guess, since the last time I had seen her. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, since she wasn't grossly over weight, but wearing the low cut top and short shorts like she was nothing but unflattering.

"Hello Mrs. Crowley." I forced the pleasant greeting from behind my teeth. "It's nice to see you again." Both Seth and I knew it was a lie, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if she knew it too.

"And it's lovely to see you too. It has been a while." And there we have dig number one.

"Yes it has." I replied, unwilling to give any further information out.

"I was just talking about you the other day with Mrs. Newton. We were wondering what had happened to you, it was almost like you fell off the map." And dig number two. "What brings you back here then?"

I knew for a fact that Mrs. Newton wasn't wondering what had happened to me, since I was still in touch with Mike and Jess, whom I knew kept her updated on both Angela, Ben and I. Hell the woman even knew where to send my birthday and Christmas cards every year.

"Just visiting." I told her, keeping it as brief as possibly.

"I bet your Dad's pleased, it's obvious he misses you. Living in that big old house by himself." And dig number three.

"Hey Bells, they have those cheese flavoured chips here that you were craving last week, you want some." Rose called, as she rounded the corner and came into view.

I could almost see the cogs working in Mrs. Crowley's brain, her eyes flitting from a obviously pregnant Rose, to me. Rose's words having been heard by her, she looked me up and down, finding the answer she wanted. I quite literally wanted the whole ground to swallow me whole.

"Well, we'll be seeing you Mrs. Crowley." Seth dragged me away, after who knows how many minutes of me being frozen to the spot.

Rose could tell there was something wrong, and it didn't exactly take a genius to work out what. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and apologized profusely for having a big mouth. As mad as I was that the whole town would now know, I couldn't find it in me to be angry with her. How was she to know that I wanted to keep things under wraps. I hadn't exactly told them. It felt like forever before Seth had successfully paid for our items and lead me by the arm outside. I felt in a bit of a haze, not knowing what to do.

"You ok Bells?" Seth whispered, as we headed back to Emmett's Jeep, that he had let Seth and Alec drive here.

"Jake." Was the only thing I could think to say.

"Call him."

I excused myself from the group for a few minutes, vaguely hearing Seth explain to everyone exactly what had happened, though he didn't really explain it in much depth, just who the old bitch was, and that I had wanted to tell a friend about the pregnancy myself, but now everyone would find out, and I didn't want them to find out that way. It was the truth, just had parts missing to it.

"Hey, you're through to Jake, you know what to do..." Jakes voice mail kicked in and I groaned.

"Hey Jake... it's Bella." I felt awkward. "I know it's um... been a while... but I'm in Forks for the weekend... I was kind of hoping to come and catch up with you." Ok, I felt more than awkward. "So, um, can you please call me when you get this..." Even I could hear the pleading in my tone. "I love you Jake." I added as an after thought.

Even after I ended the call, I couldn't rid myself of the panic I felt. I had to get to him before anyone else did. I owed him at least that.

"Hey Billy, it's Bella." I sighed with relief when Billy answered the phone. "Is Jake with you?"

"Hey Hun, no, he was up early, heading to Olympia to pick a car part up. Anything I can help you with." The news Billy had given me was both good and bad.

"I'm in Forks, Billy." I told him. "Mrs. Crowley's seen me, she knows Billy, and I've got to tell him before anyone else does."

"Oh no." He sighed, knowing exactly what the news would do to him, more so considering it wouldn't be completely accurate. "He's due back around dinner time, the moment he walks through the door, I'll call you."

I hung up with Billy, promising I would go down and visit while I was in town. Just one more thing to add to the laundry list of things for me to take care of this weekend.

Even though it was doubtful that Jake would see anyone either before he heard my message, or spoke to Billy, I was on tenter hooks for the rest of the afternoon. No-one seemed to question my mood, or how tense I was, and for that I was thankful. Seth had obviously told them enough to make sure they wouldn't ask further questions. Esme kept shooting me knowing sympathetic glances, and again I found myself thankful that she knew, so she could help keep them all off my back.

I hadn't heard a thing from Billy or Jake by the time we went to the bonfire down in La Push. As expected one or two people down there had already heard through the grapevine about my pregnancy, but since it was a small community, they all understood that I needed to talk to Jake before he found out, and I had their word they would keep quiet. Out of all the people that now knew, I knew I could trust them the most.

I was giving up hope when Billy arrived with my Dad and Sue, only to tell me that although Jake hadn't arrived home, he had called. He had received my message, but he was driving, and said he would call me in the morning, since all he wanted to do was go home and crash, after the early start he had, had. Even knowing the chances of him finding out before I told him, were getting slimmer and slimmer, I knew I wouldn't truly feel ok until I had told him.

I managed to enjoy my evening down in La Push, as I'm sure did all the Cullen's, who were amazed at some of the tribe stories that had been told. Around ten, the fire began dying down, and we all began to pack up, I felt dead on my feet, along with Rose, who had claimed she was going into a smores coma, after out eating Emmett for the very first time in history.

Back at the house, I was sat in the kitchen with the girls, drinking hot chocolate, whilst the guys caught the tail end of a hockey game in the living room. We kept laughing every so often when the guys would start shouting at the TV, in a typical male fashion. During a lull in the sound I could have sworn I heard the loud roar of an engine followed by skidding tyres, but I put it down to a commercial on the TV. It was only when I heard Emmett yell something like 'what the fuck', that I knew something was wrong.

Following the girls toward the front door where all the guys were now congregating, I realized I had been right about the car.

"BELLA!" And there was Jake, in the middle of the driveway, screaming out my name.

Ohhhhhh – that is all lol. Please review for me, it means the world, even if it is only to scream profanities at me :D I would also like to take this opportunity to apologize to you all, for not having this chapter up earlier, but to be honest, writing this has kicked my butt, so subsequently, I'm unable to offer teasers this week. I'm not saying they might not come, especially if I get the next chapter done pretty quick, but please don't expect them :(