Okay, this is ridiculously late, but at least it wasn't exactly my fault this time. The document got corrupted, and then my computer totally died, and it took a while to reinstall all the programs, and then I finally had to retype the whole thing (thankfully I had printed it out)! Okay, you can read the story now :D (Please Review!)

Chapter 26

He went to her room first, peeked in from the doorway and waited for her shoulders to rise and fall a few times as she slept. She's fine. He had known that, of course, somehow, but relief still came rather dramatically as it flooded his chest. He walked back to the living room and shuffled through his duffel bag, grabbing sweatpants and a tee shirt before heading to the bathroom.

He undressed and pulled on the navy sweatpants. This was stupid, really, getting out of bed and dressed, only to drive over here and get changed into pajamas, but he knew he that he would not have fallen back to sleep over there. He stopped to splash some water on his face and run a hand through his hair. She was fine, of course she was.

He was just reaching for his shirt when he heard the sound. Something between a scream of terror and a cry of pain. The next one was worse, louder. Kari. Panic rose in his chest, and he tore out of the room without bothering with the clothes he had left on the floor. The tears started just as he fell to his knees beside her, strangling the screams in her throat and making the cries even more panicked. He found her face in the dim moonlight and tried to push the hair from her eyes.

"Wake up, pretty girl. It's just a nightmare. C'mon, I'm here." He could sense the difference immediately, could hear and feel the change as she woke. More tears. His hands were soaked in second as the hot liquid poured from her eyes. The screams stopped, but they were instantly replaced by sobs so violent they forced the small girl into a huddle on her side. Pained noises escaped her throat now, too, mingling with the sounds of fear and sadness. They were softer, quiet whimpers at the pain he knew must be shooting through her still injured side. Every sound hurt, each cry sent new pain through his body. "Easy, don't hurt yourself, Kari. C'mere." He began to lift her into his arms, nearly had her against his chest when she suddenly stiffened.

"TK? N-No, you went home. Y-You weren't supposed to-"

"I had a bad dream, too," he murmured gently as her tears began to send familiar pangs of pain through his chest, but she was shaking her head, pushing away from him hurriedly. He felt his heart beating in his chest, too fast, nervous. "Please be careful, pretty girl," he pleaded softly, really scared now, but she fell onto her side as she tumbled from his lap, and the cry that escaped her lips was worse than ever. He reached his hand out, but she pulled back further, retreating to the far corner of the futon. Stinging rejection rang through his whole body; hurt tugged deep in his chest. She didn't want him to touch her, to hold her. Why? Guilt surged through him as well, now, as soft whimpers and sobs came from the girl who was nearly three feet from him now. "What's wrong, pretty girl?" His voice came out a little weak.

"TK, what are you doing here?" Matt's voice startled him slightly as it came from the doorway. "You didn't drive over here in the storm, did you?" Kari's sobs worsened slightly. "Hikari, here," Matt pressed a small white mug into the crying girl's shaking hands, but she set it down immediately, her fingers trembling too badly to hold the cup.

"What's that?"

"Matt, please…" The sound of Kari's voice sent knives through TK's chest. Why wouldn't she talk to him?

"I'm not going to lie to him, Hikari. It's tea."

"But you had it ready. How did you know that she'd…"

"It helps her calm down, after the nightmares." TK understood now. Anger flared quietly in his chest.

"'The' nightmares? As in…" Kari managed to interrupt him through her tears.

"I-I didn't want you worrying, TK. Th-They a-aren't even that bad." Why did she always try to lie? He glared at his brother.

"She's been having these every night? And you didn't tell me?" He felt his voice rise in volume dramatically; she wouldn't like that, but he didn't care.

"What? So you could overreact and-"

"Overreact?" He didn't remember standing, but he found himself towering over his brother with the added height of the futon. "She was screaming, Matt! What the he-" "TK." There was a subtle warning in Matt's voice: you don't want to start swearing at me, not in front of her. He hated that he was right. "If it had been this bad before, I would have told you, okay? You're right; she can't put herself through this every night, but the dreams weren't this bad a few days ago; tea was more than enough to calm her down. She gets upset seeing you stressed over her, and she's on edge enough as it is." TK ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Y-You have to tell me." His voice dropped to a normal volume again. "I can't find out like-" He realized they had been talking around Kari this whole time, and looked down at her, felt his voice soften. "One of you has to tell me, Kari. I'm sorry about yelling; I shouldn't have done that, but I get upset when I see you hurt like this. I don't want you to have to deal with this stuff on your own." She didn't answer him, but she seemed ever so slightly less stiff, like she might allow him to touch her now. He kneeled beside her, and, sure enough, she let him lay a hand gently on her shaking shoulder.

"You don't need anything?" Matt asked, taking a step towards the door. TK shook his head.

"Do you need anything, Kari?" She shook her head against her knees. "Is it okay if he goes back to bed?" She nodded, and Matt ducked out the door, leaving them alone.

"Y-You ca-an go b-back to bed, too," she whispered through tears. He ran a hand through his hair again; she couldn't really think that he would leave?

"I wouldn't sleep any," he paused. "Please come here." He pressed gently on her shoulder, and she turned into him slightly, letting him wrap an arm around her as she sobbed.

Her tears were the kind that scared him. They were the kind that only ended when she was literally incapable of continuing and that resumed the minute she recuperated the energy needed to cry. They were the kind that he was almost never able to pull her from, that tore her apart for hours and hours, and that could resurface again and again for days.

"Please, Kari, please…" He held her close. The pain was building in his chest, aching in him. "Don't cry. It hurts to-"

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I-I'm trying to-"

"I know; I didn't mean... Don't apologize; just let me help you." She cried into his shoulder, and he realized that he had never put on his shirt. "Please, Kari, let me help you. Tell me about your dream." He rocked her back and forth a little, trying desperately to soothe her.

"Y-You want me to-" He squeezed his eyes shut at the pain.

"Yes. Yes, Kari. I really, really want you to." She held her breath for a few seconds before trying to talk.

"I w-was h-here, a-and He came, a-and you were gone, and He f-found me and," she cried for a few seconds, "a-and then I closed my eyes, a-and I was at my dad's accident, and I opened them, a-and He hit me, a-and it hurt, and I-I closed them, and- I-I could feel the rain; i-it was cold, a-and then I-I could feel Him hurt- a-and instead of m-my dad i-it was-" She was sobbing again. TK held her close and tried to work through the story.

"Instead of your dad, what?"

"I-It was y-you. I-In the car," she cried. "Y-Your head was bleed- I-I could feel the rain."

It was like a blow to the stomach. The rain. He repeated it softly aloud. "The rain. Kari, I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot; I never even thought about-"

"It's fine," she cried, but he shook his head.

"No. No, it isn't. You kept saying it today, that the weather was bad. It was raining the night…?" She nodded, and he shook his head in disbelief. "Both your parents, a-and I went out in the worst storm in years. I'm so…" How could he be so stupid? How could he do that to her? Put her through all those memories again? "I'm here, though, okay? Nothing bad happened, and I won't drive back home tonight, or any night, if you ask, okay? I'll be careful. I won't leave you alone; I'm here." He hugged her tight to his chest as if to prove his statements. "I'm still here." It was a long before she made any attempt to answer, but she cried with less force and seemed to relax a bit in his arms. When her voice finally came it was soft and shaky, but at least not a sob.

"It's your turn," she whispered. He frowned.

"What?"

"Why did you come over?" Of course. She was worried about the one thing he wasn't. Why did that surprise him?

"I already told you, pretty girl; I had a bad dream, too." He said it softly, trying to alleviate the concern in her voice.

"D-Do you," she choked on tears this time, and he ran his hand up and down her arm soothingly.

"Hey, hey…"

"I-I know I can't help you l-like you help me, but I don't know what else- I just want you to be okay, and I don't know-"

"Sh… What gave you the idea that it doesn't help me to talk to you? We talked the other day, didn't we?" He held her close, and she nodded. "You know that helped me. And when you smile," he leaned his face down close to hers," that helps me a lot." He could tell she was trying to smile, could see the awful effort in her chocolate eyes, but she only managed a soft whimper. His chest throbbed. "Oh, Kari…" He leaned his nose into her hair, inhaling her scent. "You know I didn't mean you have to-"

"Wh-Why did you come over? What was in the dream that upset you?"

"You, pretty girl." He closed his eyes and shook his head; she could be so blind. "Our bad dreams can be remarkable similar sometimes. I just needed to see that you were safe." She was quiet for a long moment, save for her tears. "You okay?"

"Mhm." She nodded into his chest, and her lips brushed his skin. Soft. "I-I'm here, too," she whispered. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Only barely."

"I'm sor-"

"Don't say that. Just try to calm down; try to feel better, or tell me how to help." Her arms wrapped around his waist, and he eased her closer as she buried her face in his chest. He swallowed as her eyelashes tickled his bare skin and tried not to feel her cool hands on his back.

"I'm tired."

"You should lie down," he answered, rubbing her back gently, but she shook her head against him. Eyelashes, lips, tears. His chest tightened with effort.

"I don't want to go back to sleep." She trembled slightly, like she was scared.

"Kari, I told you; I'll stay here. I won't go back out in the rain."

"It doesn't matter; i-it's the dreams that- they're so real. I can feel everything. I felt the rain; I felt Him cr-" she stopped, and he rubbed her back, begging the pain to leave her.

"Sh, sh, it'll be okay. You can't stop sleeping, Kari. Everything gets harder when you're tired; I can tell."

"But-"

"But the nightmares, I know." He felt helpless; what could he do to stop dreams? "Is there anything that helps?" She shrugged, and then her shoulders went limp; her head dropped another few inches, into his stomach, as her tears worsened again. She was so tired. "How about I sleep outside the door, and you wake me up if they come back? I know that won't help during the dream, but… I mean, not until you calm down…" He couldn't think straight like this, her lips and hair and tears against his abdomen. His head rushed a million directions at once.

"TK?" she whispered, breath tickling his skin, already damp with her tears. Damn it, Kari. He could almost feel the rush of hormones enter his bloodstream.

"Yeah?"

"D'you think you- Would you mind staying here? J-Just until I-"

"Would you like me to stay here?" A nod. "Okay, let me go and get another blanket, all right?" He was grateful for a chance to escape for a second, to run a hand through his hair and clear his head. She needs you. You can't think that way. She was crying harder when he returned with the blanket and a pillow, and the pain rushed back full force. He knelt beside her carefully. "Hey, what's wrong?" Without thinking, he pushed the hair gently from her face and tilted his face down to hers, leaning his nose into her cheek and rubbing her neck gently. Don't do that, it feels too good. She leaned back into him, though, the side of her face in his neck, and he closed his eyes at the conflicting emotions it brought.

"'S embarrassing, making you stay here with me. It's like…" Her face was hot from crying for so long; he wanted her to lie down, to close her eyes, to let him stroke her hair until she fell asleep.

"Why would you be embarrassed, Kari?" He rubbed her back gently.

"It's stupid, I just… It's like I'm trying to- I-I see the way the girls at school act around you, and I don't want you to think that I'm…"

"The girls at school?" he asked, confused. Why couldn't she just close her eyes? Why did she have to torture herself? The pain in her voice killed him.

"Yes, the girls at school! Y-You can't tell me- Zoe practically-"

"That girl who asked me out on Tuesday?" Kari suddenly seemed to try to stop crying, like she needed to be happy for him right then.

"Sh-She… When are you…?" He blinked.

"I'm not." The tears were back again, instantly.

"What? B-But she's so pretty, and she plays basketball, like-" He furrowed his brow, knowing he couldn't answer that. It was stupid to have mentioned it at all.

"I don't understand, pretty girl. I know there are some girls at school who are a little… overenthusiastic, but it's only because I'm new. It'll wear off in no time. A-And what I said the other day, about those girls, I don't do that anymore, okay? I swear."

"This isn't about- It's not just going to disappear, TK. You're- That's not what… I just don't want it to seem like I'm doing that. I know you've got a thousand other girls much-" She started coughing, and he held her closer, trying to calm her down again.

"Hey, hey, sh… I still don't understand. I can talk to them, if you-"

"No. No, i-it's none of my business who you're friends with." He frowned.

"You're my best friend, Kari. It kind of is, at least a little bit." She shook her head.

"I just don't want you to think that I'm trying to be one of them; I'm not-" He panicked suddenly, could she know-?

"I know you're my friend, if that's what you mean, but that has nothing to do with some girls at school who'll just as soon jump to the next new guy."

"They won't though, TK. You're… I just-" He furrowed his brow and cut her off.

"I'm what?" he asked. "You said that before, too."

"You're… you're not just anyone, and they know that. Y-You're smart and polite and athletic a-and handsome." He tried not to think about the way her lips brushed his skin as she spoke those words. He tried not to picture whispering compliments back against her neck, about letting his lips explore the softness of her throat. Heat rushed to his face as he failed. "A-And you can have a-any of those girls. I know that I wouldn't, wouldn't stand a chance." The pictures and thoughts and feelings were gone. He felt sick.

"Why would you say that?" She was crying harder again, and her face dropped down into his shoulder. There was an excruciating emptiness in his chest, pain and terror together in one. He started to repeat himself, louder. "WHY-"

"Because it's," she began weakly.

"Don't you say it's true! Don't you dare! Because it isn't." Pain. Pain that made him sick and brought tears to his eyes. He could feel his hands shaking on her back. He could feel three words pounding in his head, three words that proved her wrong, three words he couldn't say. He tilted his face down to meet her eyes and settled for two. "It's ridiculous." Painful disappointment replaced the anger, and tears burned at his eyes as he pulled her tight against him, burying her in his arms, hiding her in his chest. "It's absolutely ridiculous." He pressed his lips to her forehead briefly as she cried, but her sobs only worsened at the show of affection. He shook harder, trying to control the emotion in his chest. "C'mon," he pulled her down onto her bed with him, so they lay on their sides, and lowered his lips to her ear. "Sh, sh, it's okay; just take deep breaths. It's okay." I love you.

He'd work so hard not to think those words, and now they pounded in his head, begging to escape. How could she think that? How? I love her. I love her! They ached, they burned, they spread to every inch of him and controlled his body when they couldn't control his lips. They made him pull back and tuck a pillow below her head and draw blackest around them both. She was hiding her face, cowering shamefully in the pillow, when the words made him lie down beside her and slide his arm below her waist, follow her free arm with his other hand and weave their fingers together. This was too far. They were too close, and he was wearing too little; he should have gotten his shirt, but it wasn't as though he could hurt her. It would kill him to see her in any more pain than this.

"It hurts," she cried, and he knew what she meant. He felt it, too. Pain didn't cover it. It was agony. "It hurts."

"I know," he whispered and drew her close against him, his arms around her, her shoulder tucked below his chin. He wanted to make it stop, would do anything to make it stop, but he was helpless. He hated it. He loathed it. He loved her, and she shouldn't feel like this. He was still shaking. He held onto her, trying to stop. "I-I know, but it won't be forever. I swear it'll stop someday. I'll make it stop." He squeezed her hand tight in his. "But today… just don't think about it. Think about your books or our movies or something else, something that doest hurt. I, I can read to you; do you want me to-"

"D-Dear Ka-ari," she choked out weakly. "I-I hope y-you're doing well. H-Happy Birthday!"

She memorized them. She memorized the letters. Regret ached him him, throbbed in his chest on top of the agony already torturing him. The things he could have said, the things that could have really made a difference. One 'I care about you.' One 'You're beautiful.' One 'If the man your mom remarries starts beating the crap out of you, you really ought to let someone know.'

"I-I'm sorry I wasn't able to v- to visit, maybe we can meet up halfway o-over Christmas I'm sending you my bus schedule, so you can check yours, too. A-Anyway, don't w-worry," her voice broke a bit, and a shooting pain burst through him, "I-I still g-got you a present. I'm sending y-you a book one of the girls in m-my class was reading and said was good; i-it's called…" Her tears had slowed slightly, but her breathing came hard and fast, so she could no longer speak. The pain in his chest was unbearable, but he still managed to swallow it and finish for her.

"I-It's called The Book Thief, by Marcus Zusak, hopefully you haven't already read it, and hopefully she isn't wrong." He kept his voice gentle, trying to imitate the way he'd written it. "In case she is, though, I'm sending a gift card, too, so you can pick some of your own." He paused, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to remember the next words. "I got my own copy of The Book Thief, so we can talk about it next time I see you. Call and let me know if any of the bus stops would work for you. I miss you loads. Love, TK." He left a pause for a few seconds before finishing. "P.S. You should send a picture the next time you write. I miss your face, pretty girl!" She was squeezing his hand now, so tightly it had begun to hurt, but he didn't care, and he certainly didn't want her letting go.

"Thank you." Her voice was faint, but her tears had finally stopped, and he the pain had subsided enough for her exhaustion to take over. He could feel her against him again, her lungs expanding and contracting slowly as she breathed, her heart beating steadily beside his. He held her closer in response and waited for her hand to relax in his.

"I love you," he breathed thoughtlessly when it happened, but she was asleep, then; it didn't matter anymore. "I love you," he repeated, thinking very hard about it this time, feeling her against him and forgetting anything else, "a-and I'll make the pain go away. I'll make it stop someday. I promise." Their bodies were close enough that he could feel her pulse, and he counted the beats silently in his head until he fell asleep. 1. I love you. 2. I love you. 3. I love you. 4…

I actually have more that was going to be combined with this, but it got pretty long, and I figured you guys had waited more than long enough, so just add another short chapter to the estimate. I don't know why I picked The Book Thief, I think I was reading it at the time I originally wrote that part, but it is really good. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed, please review!