Disclaimer: I do not own the awesomely Death Note.

Coauthored by BlueHarpy and helped by Madeline Cullen and iceblueangelfang.

CHAPTER 26 – PONDERANCES

In which Keiko and Light have a chat, and Scout is extremely uncomfortable.

Continued from last time…

Two hours later, Keiko emerged from their bedroom, quietly closing the door behind her so as not to disturb her slumbering husband. It was currently about six-twelve in the evening, and normally, Lawliet would be getting hungry. Keiko guessed that Light, Misa, and the twins would be, too… Her brain instantly did a rundown of what options were available for dinner for everyone (Lawliet's own dinner would definitely be a strawberry shortcake, his undisputed favorite), and finally decided that she'd be letting everyone fend for themselves—in other words, she'd set all the various sandwich ingredients on the counter and whenever someone got hungry, they'd be set.

After having set out the sandwich materials—bread, jellies, meats, cheeses, a sliced tomato and some lettuce, and other various condiments—Keiko slumped over onto the kitchen table, sighing. She couldn't stay still for long. The strawberry shortcake wouldn't bake itself…

"Keiko?"

She looked up to see Light standing in the doorway. "Hm?"

"Where've you been all afternoon? And where's Ryuzaki?" He looked at her curiously as he sat down opposite her at the table.

Keiko exhaled, staring at the wood grain on the surface of the table. "Ryuzaki's in a funk. You might remember what happened last time, when we found him on the roof of HQ in the rain…"

Light frowned. "Yeah… he started talking about the bells…"

She nodded slowly. "Yup. Don't tell him I told you, cuz you know how much he doesn't like you… he doesn't like anyone knowing his weaknesses. Even me." A slight chuckle came from her parted lips. "Not that it's easy to hide from someone you spend so much time with…" Keiko paused, and Light waited patiently for her to continue. "For Ryuzaki, the bells mean bad things, probably in the darkest sense of the term 'bad.' He's heard them ring before—actually in real life, sometimes—when bad things happen, and it stuck in his memory."

"So he'd automatically associate them with horrifying circumstances," Light finished, nodding slowly his understanding. "And it would explain why, when he gets upset about something, he thinks he actually hears them."

Keiko nodded. "That's about the long and short of it. So… well, what I'm getting at is that he heard the bells again this afternoon. And you know Ryuzaki—he's got this uncanny sixth sense that tells him when to be on alert. The fact that he's this frightened when nothing's happening is nothing short of nerve-wracking."

"Hm." Light looked ahead, a grim look on his handsome features. Slowly, he stood and stepped over to the "sandwich bar" to fix himself some dinner. Keiko internally smacked herself and began gathering ingredients for the strawberry shortcake. "So you were basically just cheering him up, then?"

"Yup. He's actually asleep right now…"

Surprised, Light turned around to face Keiko, his eyebrows raised sky-high. "He's asleep?! What'd you do to him?"

Keiko threw him a disparaging glare as she limped over to the refrigerator, and Light groaned softly. "I see…"

She scowled at him, but he'd already returned to his sandwich making. "Whenever he gets like this, the only thing that helps at all is total distraction. And… that's a pretty thorough one."

Light sighed and pulled a face.

Keiko rolled her eyes and further explained. "Hey, if you were married and your wife was that upset, wouldn't you basically do whatever she wanted, just to make her feel a little better?"

He paused for a moment. "I suppose I logically would, but it's kind of hard to see myself actually with someone…" His voice was rather quiet. Keiko wondered if he was saddened by the fact that he'd yet to really find anyone with whom he was really compatible, or jealous of the relationship she had with L (jealous that she had a loving spouse and he didn't), or… anything, really. Light was difficult to interpret, sometimes.

"Hm." Keiko sighed as she began measuring flour into a mixing bowl. "Do I recall someone from To-oh… one Takada-san?"

Light inhaled, creating a loud hissing sound that Keiko took as a sign of general dislike. "Yeah… she was okay. She knew a lot of facts, but she really wasn't very smart at all. It didn't last."

She smirked. "Oh, yes… she pursued you, didn't she?"

He nodded quietly and gave a sigh as he continued to create his sandwich. "Yeah. Happens all the time…" His tone made it painfully obvious that he was positively sick and tired of this development, now a mere fact of life. "I gave up long ago on trying to find someone. Haha, if it weren't for my pride, I'd have started broadcasting a rumor that I was gay long ago…"

Keiko smirked at that. "Well, it might be a deterrent of some kind… But I don't see many girls really caring. They'd still attack you. Sucks being a bishie, don't it?"

Light rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I don't even know if I can find someone out there for me what with everyone attacking me left and right. Hell, the other week, some guy came up to me and asked me out. That was creepy."

"Y'know, now that I think about it, announcing that you were gay, even if it was just to keep girls from attacking you, wouldn't go well for you… every single gay or bi male in Japan would come running."

"And that makes me feel so much better…"

Keiko smirked. "Man… I've missed you, Light. Remember how we used to talk while you and Ryuzaki were handcuffed last time? We really should keep in touch more."

The corners of Light's lips peaked in a smile, glad that she'd gotten over the fact that he'd once been Kira. "I've missed it, too. But will Ryuzaki be happy about it?"

She shrugged. "Eh, probably not, but it's not like he can really stop me."

Light's brows raised as he stared at her in admiration. "Really? Do tell." He crossed his legs with utmost nonchalance, looking like he was only sarcastically interested.

She looked away cryptically. "I have ways of blackmailing him into letting me do things, should I wish… Honestly, he's resilient, but I'm in charge of the grocery list. It'd be interesting to see how long he'd hold out without his sweets for a while…"

Then again, she probably wouldn't have to resort to that. Lawliet could be fairly reasonable (if argumentative when he wasn't pleased), and if Light was halfway across the globe (and completely notebookless), what could he really do? What's more, Keiko could use such a method to keep tabs on him, make sure he wasn't acting suspiciously.

By this point in time, Keiko was pouring the batter into two separate pans so as to create a two-layered cake, and simultaneously cut back on the cooking time. She slid the cake into the oven and rejoined Light at the table, where he was currently enjoying his ham-and-Swiss sandwich. "So, how's all this Western food treating you?" she teased.

"I miss Tokyo…" he muttered after swallowing. "How are you surviving on all this creamy, heavy, rich food? It's ridiculous! Man, what I wouldn't do for some yakiniku…"

Keiko shrugged. "I could probably make some for you in the next few days. I'm going to the grocery on Friday."

"Oh, I wouldn't want you to go to the trouble…"

"Bull crap. But heck, I'll tell you, I freaking miss it, too! It'd be nice to have an excuse to make it, seeing as how Aimi and Alex don't exactly love Japanese cuisine…" She sighed. "They're definitely Western kids. Makes me a little sad, seeing as how they're more than half Japanese…" Keiko inhaled as she rose from her chair. "I'm going to go upstairs and see if he's awake. He hardly ever sleeps for more than a few minutes at a time, a few hours at most. And as he's upset… well, I should be there for him."

Light nodded. "If you're not down here, I'll make sure the cake's out of the oven on time."

"Thanks." She smiled. "With luck, we'll both be down before then, but I'm not going to promise anything, not when he's in one of his moods…" With that, she disappeared up the stairs to enter the bedroom she shared with Lawliet. He was still slumbering peacefully beneath the cocoon of blankets and pillows he'd burrowed into somehow, half-curled into a parody of his optimal thinking position. Carefully, Keiko slid in beside him, laying her head on Lawliet's pillow. As she surveyed him, she noticed… he was beginning to develop the tiniest of creases around his mouth, eyes, and brows. Another two or three strands of gray were visible in his thick, dark hair. Even his troubled expression enhanced the façade of age. She knew these new developments would hardly be noticed by anyone, unless they were as close to him as she. Lawliet was still young! And, she told herself firmly, they would have a great many years ahead of them, full of happiness, love, and relative peace.

Keiko sighed. Her logic argued that such was only a probability. Lawliet, as the greatest detective the world had ever known, was a prime target for assassination. His only protection was anonymity.

And she was his connection to the rest of the world. She was his weakest link.

At the realization, Keiko wanted to blame herself for the trouble they were in. She was the one who'd originally pulled him out of his shell. She was the one who'd persuaded him to first meet someone real in the first place (unconscious though it was, Keiko now looked back on the first day they'd met with resentment). She was the one who constantly taunted him with titles of "recluse," "paranoid," and "hermit."

Lawliet shifted, curling further into a fetal-style position. The tip of his thumb rested on the mattress beside his lips, as though he'd attempted to bring the digit to his mouth, but had run out of motivation or energy to do so. He looked so childlike, so innocent… Despite his current depression, Keiko could not help but see how he seemed to be at peace. In sleep, he was free from his troubles. She wondered, if this was so, why he never slept… (Well, she knew that it was a combination of being an extremely light sleeper, having a wild imagination that often granted nightmares, and simply the infantile urge to fight the vile slave master who was Bedtime.)

Keiko sighed. Even if she regretted meeting Lawliet (for the sake of his safety), she knew that he didn't. He loved her… though many days she questioned why…

A tiny smile spread across his face as she began to run her fingers gently through his hair. So, he was awake? Then again…

Lawliet stirred, seemingly unconsciously pulling himself closer to Keiko. His face ended up snuggled comfortably between her breasts, his grin growing wider by the second. Yup. He was definitely awake and lucid. Keiko sighed again. "Lawliet…" But she couldn't keep a smile from her face, either. He was being extremely playful and cheerful, especially considering how upset he'd been just a few hours before.

"Sh, tenshi, I'm sleeping," he murmured flippantly. Keiko felt rather than heard him chuckling, indicating that he was obviously in a childish frame of mind.

"No, you're not, you big goon!" she shot back, but she didn't make an attempt to move him. But at length, she had to say something. "You really like that, don't you?"

"Mm, indeed. It is a very comfortable spot."

Keiko rolled her eyes. "You're a dork."

"Does that matter?"

"Not particularly." Idly, her fingers continued to play with his hair. "You feeling better?"

There was a pause, and Keiko wondered if this was the wrong thing to ask. "Hm, yes. You are a wonderful distraction."

Keiko sighed and said nothing. Several moments of complete silence passed, and she finally moved to sit up; Lawliet remained lying there on the bed. "Are you really okay…?" she asked quietly. "What's the trouble…?"

Another pause followed. Lawliet's gaze focused on her own brown eyes and she reached out her hand to stroke his hair again. "I do not know."

Keiko tilted her head, but her expression of concern and empathy did not change. "I never know to what the fear is attributed… only that something will soon happen."

She gave a single nod and slowly adjusted herself so that she lay on the bed, her body parallel to his. She molded her lips against his ear softly. It was understood that she'd do whatever he asked at that moment. "I hope tomorrow will cheer you up."

"Mm…?"

"The ultrasound."

"Mm." One arm curved around her back to pull her closer into him. "Yes. I'm certain that it will."

"We've wounded this mountain," declared Howard on Near's computer screen. "It's our duty to close her wounds. It's the least we can do to show our gratitude for all the wealth she's given us. If you guys don't want to help me, I'll do it alone."

"You talk about that mountain like it was a real woman," mused Curtin.

Fred Dobbs, played by Humphrey Bogart, smirked at his friend's line. "She's been a lot better to me than any woman I ever knew. Keep your shirt on, old-timer. Sure, I'll help ya."

Near's gaze never wavered or parted from the screen, but a picture of Scout's scars came to his mind. Scout's wounds had never been closed… Sure, her physical wounds had left marks, but they'd healed. But her spirit was wounded. And the healing process had never been really attempted. It was like what Curtin had wanted to do in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre: just leave her unattended, bare, open and cut. Something had happened to Scout in her past… something dreadful.

Of course "dreadful things" happened. Any idiot could see that.

It wasn't so much that she'd had an extremely rough past. There was one single, traumatizing event that had changed Scout forever. His mind instantly went to the memory of that horrible gash on her stomach. That had undoubtedly been the worst… did it have anything to do with this "traumatic event?"

Regardless, someone had left her as scarred as that mountain, but with no one to heal her. Eventually, he would know, he told himself. It would only take time.

Scout, meanwhile, was retreating within herself. Watching this movie with Near was having the opposite effect desired. She'd wanted to open up, but now, she was only reminded of that time…

"No, T. Don't pay them any mind."

"Bitch, you can't tell me what to do!"

Her warm blood spilling onto the cold, rough, wet pavement…

Horrendous, agonizing, mind-searing pain… so much so that she couldn't even feel it anymore…

His face… angry, furious… vengeful… glaring down at her…

The sound of fleeing footsteps, followed by a bright light…

Shouts, frantic yelps, the vague sound of the Miranda rule being stated…

"She's alive! Get her to the ambulance…"

Merciful blackness… an escape from the pain…

White walls… a hospital…

The warm smile of Quillish Wammy…

"Everything will be all right, my dear Miss Barlow. Tell me, would you like to hear about a place called the Wammy's House…?"

Scout's face became completely neutral. She would not dwell on it. She would block it from her mind… it had no place in the here and now… If she was to achieve her goal of being more open with her emotions and feelings, she would have to purge that memory from her mind completely and totally.

Near noticed her expression from his peripheral vision. "Do you tire of the film?" he asked softly, already knowing that this was not the case. It only confirmed his theory of a horrific incident in her past that had warped her psyche and altered her entire mindset. "We may stop if you wish."

"Please," she said quietly. "Let's stop." Never mind the fact that she must've given away some hint of a reaction… Near had probably figured it all out by that point, though, she told herself. Immediately, Scout was furious, afraid, and resentful all at once… but she stopped herself from reacting further. The entire exercise is to let someone see what I'm thinking, isn't it? she reminded herself. Just… let it go. There's nothing you can do about it now, anyway…

Silently, Scout leaned forward to halt the DVD's progress and remove it from the laptop. She then replaced it in the plastic case and stood.

"Would you care to find another film?" Near asked. His expression would've smacked of extreme boredom, anyone else would've thought. However, Scout could see that he actually wanted to know what her wishes were… and possibly even curiosity… but to what was that directed? Her? A new movie? Her past…?

A pounding ache erupted behind Scout's eyes; she screwed shut her green orbs and rubbed the bridge of her nose wearily. She didn't care anymore. Rather, didn't know what to care about. The past two months had been steadily eating away at her sanity, and she wasn't sure what she thought anymore. Did she even have an opinion? Was she even the same person?

By this point, they'd reached the ground floor, and within a few more seconds, the library was in sight, with its DVD collection and stacks upon stacks of books. But before the shelf of films stood a young boy of about seven, Timothy, who was reaching for a movie on the top shelf. He was failing miserably. Near, being significantly taller, was easily able to reach the film. He looked at the child with a slightly testy expression and blinked. "Which film is it that you seek?"

Timothy's eyes snapped wide open at being face-to-face with Near, no doubt a rather intimidating occurrence. "Er… well… Coraline…" The boy gulped and took a step back. "I'll go ask the libra—"

"Here." The plastic case was pressed into his hand by Near, who had retrieved it effortlessly from the shelf.

Timothy's eyes grew wide in surprise and gratitude, and he smiled. "Thanks, Mr. Near!" He scampered off with the film.

Scout watched the exchange with a calm expression. She felt a little warm, and she fought a little against a smile. What was this new feeling…? Suddenly, as she looked at Near's profile, studious and solemn as he perused the titles on the shelf, she found herself drinking in his dark eyes, soft lips, curly white hair, and round face with interest. He looked… attractive…

WHAT?!?

Scout was shocked.

Was she turning into one of those ridiculous schoolgirls with a crush…?! On NEAR, no less?!?

Needless to say, she was extremely confused. All she knew was that her system was, without warning, flooded with adrenaline. Her heart beat faster. Her breath was shallower… and she was definitely feeling warmer.

She had to get out of there.

ASAP.

Her body was sending messages reminiscent of times in which she'd been in fights back on the streets. She felt on-edge and totally alert… and somehow exposed… threatened…

Scout swallowed and focused on the titles of the shelf. Maybe she could feign sickness… that could get her out…

No, you can't do anything. You're trapped. Unless you want him to find out what you're thinking, you have to stick around and play it cool.

Unfortunately, that just gives him more time to observe me.

You have to go. Somehow. Does it matter if he finds out…?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Angrily, she knew that was right. The best chance of her "escaping" without him noticing was to wait out an entire movie, or until something happened, some outside force that pulled her away from him.

She prayed it was soon as she watched him pull out The Fellowship of the Ring, extended edition DVD.

Her hopes were dashed into a thousand tiny pieces.

She was positive that The Lord of the Rings would be forever spoiled for her.

Dang it all, I thought I was gonna put some Matt/Mello/Jermanee/Lina in here… Guess not. THAT'S NEXT CHAPTER, I PROMISE!! I WILL HAVE THEM IN THERE!! AND L/KEIKO AND THE ULTRASOUND! IDK about Near/Scout. But anyway, you'll be seeing lots of different POVs in the upcoming chapters. That's good, right? A lot of you seemed to like it last time. I hope so. Anyway, I hope this was okay. A quicker update, ne? :) Just know that poo is about to hit the fan… hehehehe…