**Trigger warnings: Rape, abuse**

"I'm gonna kill somebody. I am gonna throw up and then I'm going to kill somebody."

"Dean, try to be reasonable."

"You try 'being reasonable' when you find out somebody raped your kid!" Okay, fair.

"She said he couldn't hurt anyone else. He was probably put away when she left."

"Then I'm gonna find that prison and stab his fucking brains out."

"Dean!" I was not interested in hearing this right now. "I only told you because we need to figure out how to help her. Clearly, leaving it alone wasn't helping anything."

"Damn straight it wasn't!" he agreed. "Why the hell did you think it was a good idea to keep this to yourself in the first place?"

He never was good at wrapping his head around this kind of stuff, "Dean, it wasn't exactly my place to tell you. I think she only told me in the first place because you interrogated her about her nightmares."

"You should've said something to me!"

This was escalating too fast, "Stop for a minute and calm down before you wake up your daughter."

"Too late," a small voice muttered behind us. We turned to see Ali tugging at the bandage on her arm. Reaching over, I gently swatted her hand away.

"You guys are loud," she remarked, glancing nervously between us. "Well, out with it. What are you talking about?"

Dean crossed the room in a single step, pulling her into a tight hug. He didn't let go for a long time, but when they pulled away, his voice was barely a whisper. "I don't ever want to find you like that again. Not ever."

Ali didn't respond. I hadn't expected a real answer from her, but the complete silence was a surprise. She always had something to ease the tension, whether it was an actual answer or not.

"You have questions," she said. It was more of a statement than a question. Just like that afternoon in the junkyard.

Dean nodded, "Yeah, where can I find the son of a bitch who ra- uh- hurt you?"

"You mean the man who raped me?" she snapped. "It's a word, not a hammer. It won't break me."

"Okay," Dean stuck his hands up by his face for a second. "Where is the son of a bitch who raped you?"

Apparently, Alice hadn't thought he'd ask her a second time because she cringed a little. It was silent for a moment while she figured out how to formulate her answer.

"He's at a cemetery in Iowa. I don't know which one exactly," she paused, taking a deep breath. Whatever she had to say next wasn't good. "I killed him."

Alice's POV

Nobody moved after I admitted to what I'd done to Mark. It was hard to read their faces, not because they looked blank, but because there were too many emotions dancing across them. Horror, sadness, anger, pity, even guilt. I couldn't figure out what they were directed at.

I was starting to shrink away when Sam finally said something.

"I can understand why you did it," he said, giving me that horrible puppy-eyed look. "You had to protect yourself. I'm sorry that that meant killing someone."

Why did people always assume my motives were to protect myself? There were only about five other people who knew, excluding the other people in the house and the police who'd investigated it. Almost all of them thought that Mark had been attacking me.

"I wasn't defending myself when I shot him," I explained. They both blinked in confusion. "I was pissed because he went after the other girls."

"What?" Dean actually sounded like he was about to be physically ill.

"I shut up and let him do his thing and he left the younger kids alone. Those were his terms, not mine," the words rushed out of me before I could stop them. It was getting hard to breathe. "All he had to do was wait an hour and I would've been there. He never had to hurt Lizzi. She was too small, he could've killed here. He almost did kill her."

I really didn't want to cry, but it was happening. My limbs were going numb and it felt like my airway was closing up. Both of them were next to me within seconds. Sam ran off to get a bucket and a rag, which was good because I had a feeling that that was where this was headed.

Dean's hands were on my shoulders, but his voice sounded far away, "Alice, take a deep breath. You've got to breath, okay?"

Suddenly, I wasn't there anymore. I was back in that damned house again. The gun was back in my hands, the smooth metal cool on my fingers. The shot was resonating through my body. It was so loud, like it was gonna deafen me. Lizzi was crying, naked on the bed. Blood was spraying back onto my face, the thump of the body hitting the floor. Sitting down in front of the camera, blood still on my face, gun still in my hands.

"This is a confession of guilt…"

Then it was all gone. Everything faded to white, a warm tingling sensation bathing over me. A gravelly voice called my name.

"Alice, focus on my voice," it ordered. "Come back to us."

I let the voice anchor me. It wrapped me in itself, pulling me out of the light, back into reality.

Hello there, my lovelies. I know that this was another very dark, very heavy chapter. There's probably gonna be a couple more of those before my next fluff chapter. But, I've been planning this backstory reveal since chapter 5 (and I don't plan) and I'm really glad that it's now out of my head and out here in the interwebs.

I'm very sorry that it was so short this time. Next chapter will be longer. I promise.

On that note, don't forget to favourite, follow and review. Reviews make me happier than a kid on a snow day!