Day Twenty-Six
Something about yourself that you would like to change?

I would, however odd it may sound, like to be able to feel the vulnerabilities that I have for so long kept locked away from the world; to embrace the fear and the desperation, to know that bravery and courage can be found in our acceptance of the things that terrify us the most.
I want to know that bravery, to experience that courage – to live because of the things that make me feel vulnerable, not despite of them.

To be vulnerable is to be exposed; to be open to the wounds of life and the very things that make us quake and shiver with fear, unguarded and unshielded from the harrowing enemies that we face.
But, I think that we often forget that vulnerability has another side, a better and brighter reality that all too often we miss out on entirely. The openness that we so greatly fear, that unveiled exposure to the world that we are all so adapt at hiding from, that is in itself the most beautiful thing that we can ever hope to experience. Vulnerability allows us to feel the greatest pleasures that this world holds; it makes us open to the bounty and the beauty of life, to the wonders that make the pain worth surviving.

I have found within Castle the strength and the love that I needed to make me realise just how very shut off from the world I had been; how withered and shy my heart had become after a lifetime of hiding it away, of fearing the emotions that made it flutter and flit and skip a beat.
I know that I am not yet able to give up all of my defences, to live as Castle has done from the very moment that I met him, but I have made a promise to myself to try to be open to all of the goodness that it coming my way; to the people and the places and the situations that can only occur when you are vulnerable. To wish for the brilliance of life, and to openly accept the dangers that might be lying in wait as I do so; but, more importantly, I promise to face them not alone, but rather to ask for the help that I am sure to need when it all becomes a little too much to bear.

So yes, to be vulnerable is indeed to be exposed, but surely that is a thousand times better than the alternative? To live with fear and pain might seem like an impossible pursuit, but I promise you that living your entire life behind the tainted walls that we all build up around our hearts and our minds and our souls is a fate far worse. We aren't protecting ourselves; we just like to think that we are.
Be vulnerable; be open and accepting of everything that life brings your way, and know that if you're not – if you're hiding and scared and living in darkness, it is never too late to late to become a lover of the light.

To be continued..

I cannot believe how close Monday is! (well, I won't actually get to see the episode until Tuesday afternoon, but I like to pretend that I am on the American time schedule, aha) Eeep, I am just so excited.
I only have four chapters left to write of this story, so I hope to have them posted over the weekend as I am sure that fanfic will explode with cannon Caskett stories as soon as the episode had aired :D

Please let me know what you thought of this update?
I hope that you are all still enjoying this story, and that Kate still seems like the Beckett whom we all know and love.

Thank you for reading,
I will most likely be back later on this evening with day twenty-seven.

Until then,
Katie

P.s. Please send in any questions that you have for Enquiries, as I intend to keep that story running for as long as there are questions to be answered :)