CHAPTER 26

It was the next day and I still wasn't feeling good. The body got taken care of yesterday but today it was time for Nate to get ready to head to his nursing home.

"I got him to sign." I say to Gemma and show her the papers. "This gives me power of attorney so if anything happens while you're away"

"Thanks." She looks sad and empty

"It's a good place. Your mom did her research. The neurologist on staff specializes in late-stage Alzheimer's." I tell her to try reassure her

"Does it have a garden?" she asks

"I don't know, probably"

"I can't believe I'm sending him off to a goddamn home."

"He'll be taken care of." I tell her

"He'll die alone just like she did."

"You're going to be able to see him, things will sort themselves out" I tell her and hug her at the side.

"Hey gals, boys are here" Tig says

"Here we go" Gemma says to me and I can't help but feel nervous about seeing Jax because of the way I walked out on him – we haven't spoken since.

We go out the front to where the boys parked their bikes and walk towards them.

"Hey baby, I missed you" Gemma and Clay tell each other and Jax walks towards me.

"Hey" he says softly and he kisses me

"Hey, glad you're here" I tell him and he puts his arm around my shoulder.

"C'mon let's go inside, I need to talk to you." He tells me and I hope it's good news about Abel.

We head into one of the rooms I was going through and packing up. "Is Nate taking all this stuff?" he asks.

"No, Gemma wanted to pack up all the sentimental objects and valuables put them in storage. The rest goes to the church." I tell him and he sits down on the bed.

"You doing okay?" he asks

"Yeah, I think" I tell him but his face is eager to tell me something "What is it?" I ask

"You want the truth, right? Gotta tell you what's going on."

"Okay."

"They're pulling our bail on the church assault. Two days, we're all supposed to go back inside."

"Jesus. "Supposed to"? What does that mean Jax?" I ask and he hands me a piece of paper with cctv footage of Abel and the guy that took him. "Oh, my God - Where is he?"

"Vancouver somewhere."

"You're heading up there?" I ask

"Yeah. We hired a guy to help track him down, gonna take Gemma, head out after Nate's taken care of." He says and the whole time I can't help by feel left out by his plan.

"When will you tell Gemma about Abel?"

"Not yet, We will." He tells me and I sigh in response.

"Hey brother, Clay needs you" Tig interrupts and then asks me "These boxes going down stairs doll?"

"Yeah, thanks"

… … …. … …. … …. …. …. …. … … …

We were in the kitchen discussing Nate and the plan for Canada, but Gemma still didn't know the real answer why they were heading up there. She just thought it was a way of hiding.

The whole time we are standing there my nausea starts creeping up on me again, I end up leaving the kitchen and running through to the downstairs toilet to throw up again.

"You okay?" Jax asks from behind concerned. He must of followed me.

"Yeah, I think I must've ate something funny." I tell him lying and rinse out my mouth. "Actually can you tell Gemma that I'm just going to get some air? See if it will help with how I'm feeling." I tell him

"You want me to come with you?" he asks

"No, I'll maybe just drive down to the store and get some somethin for my cramps"

"Okay, well don't be long" Jax tells me and I smile at him, grab my bag and head to the store.

On the drive over I was feeling more and more paranoid about my sickness. Since I'm a doctor I know that the symptoms such as throwing up are connected to a lot of things and yes concussion is one of them but my head no longer hurts.

I decide it's better to just check what it could be so I grab a pregnancy test and head to a café nearby to pee. There's no way I was bringing it back to the house.

Once I pee on the stick I wait three minutes and in those whole three minutes I'm thinking if this test is positive what the hell am I gonna do? There's no doubt that I want to have kids with Jax but now is not exactly the best time with everything going on and his distance behaviour towards me. Plus, what's going to happen after Canada? Will he do time for the church assault? How long will that be?

The amount of thoughts going through my head where overwhelming that I don't even notice the time was up and it was time to check the test.

When I turned it over it was just what my gut was telling me it would be. Positive.

I take another just to check and three minutes later it's the same.

"Shit." I sit down on the toilet seat and just cry. These past few weeks have been so emotional I didn't think I had any left in me to pour out but I certainly do.

A few moments have passed and I put the tests in the bathroom trash and pluck up the courage to drive back to the house.

… …. … …. … …. …. …. …. ….. …. … ..

When I get back I've been trying to avoid talking to Jax because I'm afraid I'm gonna come out and tell him I'm pregnant and I don't think this is the time or the place. I'm going to wait – see a doctor and wait till things have calmed down. Maybe after Canada, but then I don't know how long that trip will take.

We've been shifting boxes all afternoon, I've been making room for them in the basement and Jax has been bringing them down to me only muttering a few words here and there.

I've been thinking about Canada and whether it would be a good idea for me to go with them. I can't stay here and just wait and hope they bring Abel home. I keep thinking what if they need me, something might happen that only I can help with.

Jax brings down the last box "That's mainly all of them I think" he tells me and I need to tell him now what I was thinking.

"I wanna come with you … To Canada." I tell him standing behind a box.

"No." he tells me and I had a feeling that's what he would say, always trying to tell me what to do.

"Look, I'm the only one who's not wanted. You're gonna need my help." I tell hi

"What I need is for you to go back to work. Go back to work" I can see he's getting mad

"He's mine too. I wanna be with my family."

"Do you see how deep I'm buried here? - You don't want this." He tells me and I think 'here we go'

"Don't tell me what I want! I asked for the truth, you gave it to me." I yell at him

"So you would stay put! - You're not coming up north."

"Yes, I am!" I yell at him again

"You wanna be an old lady? Then act like one! Do what you're told! Pack your shit and head back too Charming." He yells at me I start to lose it so I grab the wheelchair from behind all the boxes which we tied the carer too.

"I just helped your mother kill someone, That old lady enough for you?!" I yell at him, my words coming out of nowhere.

"What are you talking about?"

"The caretaker, she attacked your mother."

"What the hell did you do?"

" I had no choice, it was self-defense - Tig helped us get rid of the body." I tell him trying to control my angry and frustrated breathing. Then Tip comes down stairs with a box – what terrible timing.

"Found one more … What?" he asks when he looks at me but notices the wheelchair I'm standing behind. "Oh, shit."

"What happened?" Gemma them came to join the club

"Gotta go." Clay was next and I felt like jumping into a deep whole of nothing.

"I'm dealing with something." Jax tells him

"Yeah, so are Bobby and Piney … What's going on?" Clay asks

"Apparently, our lovely ladies here whacked the caretaker." Jax yells at Clay and points at me and Gemma "And this idiot helped them." He added pointing at Tig.

"What?!" Clay uells

"Actually, I just made a phone call." Tig says

"Jesus Christ. This later. Let's go." Clay tells the guys and Jax follows him up the stairs and gives Tig an evil look on the way up

"What happened to, "Oh, we can't tell Jax about anything"? You two are killing me." Tig says then goes upstairs to follow Jax and Clay, now it's just me and Gemma.

"Sorry. I lost it." I tell Gemma then I start crying, sitting down on a box "I don't know what the hell he wants anymore."

"Well, what do you want?" she asks me

"I'm just trying to get closer. I wanna go with you to Vancouver."

"No. That's a bad idea." She tells me

"You know, I thought you, more than anyone, would understand."

"We're gonna need you in Charming. If Jax goes away for that church assault and I'm God knows where someone has to take care of Abel. No one I trust more than you."

And once she says that I start crying anymore thinking about Abel. Maybe if Gemma knew about the reason they were actually going to Canada she would agree on me going.

"You'll be a good mom." She tells me and it doesn't help the tears.

"I'm sorry." I say still weeping

"I better go help Nate get ready, I'll be going with you."

"Someone might see you." I tell her

"My risk." And she heads up the stairs

… … …. …. … …. … … ….. … …. …. …

Once me and Gemma had dropped off Nate at the home she disappeared and took my car.

I started to panic wondering what I was gonna do and where she was going. I know this was hard for her saying good bye to her dad and not knowing when or if she was going to see him again.

I was standing in the parking lot in the rain waiting on Jax coming to get me since I was stranded here. When he turned up he turned up with all of the guys.

"What happened?" Jax asks me

"She just took off; she was crying in the car when I left her. The whole thing broke her heart"

"Jesus, she went home. To see her family!" Jax yells and hands me his helmet off his head for me to get on the back of his bike and head back to charming.

At least her going back to charming she would find out the truth about Abel.

…. …. …. …. …. …. …. …. …. …. ….

After a un comfortable ride back to charming we pull into the clubhouse parking lot and Gemma is standing there but suddenly she falls to the ground and run to her to check she is okay but she looks like she just suffered from a stroke or something.

"Call an ambulance!"

"Everyone here is looking for her."

"Clay she needs to get to the hospital, it's a risk we have to take." I tell him and he listens and gets on the phone to an ambulance whilst I try to get Gemma to regulate her breathing.