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Chapter 26: Because I Can
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It was close to breakfast time, and a fairly large group of students had gathered to watch the Goblet of Fire... to see who would try to enter. The Torchwood team were lurking near the foot of the staircase, close together, and at least one of them had been watching since five in the morning when Jack had wandered up here from the dungeons.
Durmstrang had just marched past, a few minutes ago. Every student representing their school had placed their names in the Goblet, to an awed and respectful silence from the Hogwarts students.
Now, the entrance hall was buzzing as Fred and George Weasley approached the Goblet with one of their friends Jack still hadn't learned the name of yet. "I'm not sure this is going to work, you know." Hermione Granger was telling them, "I'm sure Dumbledore will have thought of this."
They paid her warnings absolutely no heed. "Ready?" one twin asked eagerly, and his brother nodded, "C'mon, then. I'll go first!"
He stepped up to the age line with determination, pausing right on the edge and steadying himself as he prepared to leap into whatever unknown spells were enforcing the age restriction. Then he stepped into the circle... and for all of one second, nothing happened. That was long enough for his twin to cheer victoriously and follow him across.
This was a mistake.
Both teenagers were sent flying across the entrance hall, landing on their backsides, over ten feet away from the line, to the sound of roaring laughter from the gathered students there. An instant later, with a snapping sound, both boys had magically grown white beards that might just reach their ankles if they were to stand again.
Even the twins joined in the laughter, pointing at each other's beards as they did so.
"I did warn you." the Headmaster's voice observed, sounding quite amused as the man himself emerged from the Great Hall. "I suggest you both go up to Madam Pomfrey. She is already tending to Miss Fawcett of Ravenclaw, and Mr. Summers of Hufflepuff, both of whom decided to age themselves up a little too. Though I must say, neither of their beards is anything like as fine as yours."
Jack's eyes narrowed in a calculating way, as he watched this... and then a determined look spread across his face as he held his hand out to Ianto, fully expecting him to understand the request. And Ianto did understand, even if he really didn't like it.
"You're not..." Ianto whispered.
"I am." Jack said, and Ianto scowled, before reluctantly handing him a pen and scrap of parchment.
Jack wrote his name and the word Hogwarts on the parchment, folded it once, and handed the pen back to Ianto.
"You are suicidal!" Owen said loudly. A few nearby students turned to look at them now.
Jack chuckled darkly, "You're only just reaching that conclusion now, Owen?" he asked in a dark undertone, before stepping forward with all his usual confidence.
He was pulling this stunt right under Albus Dumbledore's crooked nose, so he had to act fast if it was going to be worth the effort. He walked straight across the age line, neither waiting for it to affect him, nor giving anyone else time to try to stop him, as he stepped right up to the Goblet and threw his name in.
He then turned around to see the stunned looks on everyone's faces. Still standing within the circle of the age line, and not being ejected from the area, he allowed a smug grin to cross his face. "That's how it's done, boys!" he laughed at the Weasley twins.
The shocked expression on the Headmaster's face turned to one of indignant anger in an instant, "Explain yourself at once, Mr Harkness." he commanded.
"Your spell seems to think I'm old enough to compete, Professor." he said with an innocent shrug.
"Wonder what else anyone thinks he's old enough for..." Owen muttered, and his snide remark echoed in the stunned silence, causing him to cringe at the unintentional volume of his own voice. Ianto elbowed Owen sharply in the ribs to shut him up. A few Slytherins gave Owen dirty looks, but a couple of Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs actually snickered at the insult.
Jack levelled a cold glare at Owen, but the Headmaster quickly spoke over Jack's imminent insult to Owen's mental age. "I hope you understand what you have just put your name in for, Mr Harkness." he said sternly.
"Perfectly." Jack said with a bright grin. He stepped forward casually, crossing back over the age line and showing no sign of any ill-effects whatsoever. "Extremely dangerous, possibly even life-threatening. It sounds like fun, to be honest." the Headmaster gave him a warning look, but he simply shrugged, "I can take it."
"I bet you can." Owen muttered, and once again his voice echoed in the deathly silence... but he grinned unrepentantly, this time.
Jack smirked, "Binding magical contract. I got that bit, too." he pointed out, "Can't take my name out of the running now, can you?"
The Headmaster considered this carefully, apparently trying to think of a way to do just that. Jack waited, trying not to look too smug... and finally the old man sighed with a nod of concession, "Unfortunately, Mr Harknesss, you are quite correct. But perhaps you will explain to me, precisely how you managed to bypass the age line?"
Jack tilted his head slightly as he stared at the old man's nose instead of meeting his eyes, "Perhaps some things are best left to the imagination, Professor."
The Headmaster frowned at this answer, correctly interpreting it as a challenge. You can't make me tell you... but I dare you to try and figure it out. "As you wish, Mr Harkness. Every effort will still be made to ensure the safety of whichever student is chosen for this school, and I am quite certain that the Goblet of Fire will select the most suitable candidate."
Jack stared after him, bemused, as the Headmaster swept off up the marble staircase, leaving everyone staring at Jack in amazement. Then as if by some silent cue, they all began speaking at once, clamouring for answers or simply to make their opinion heard.
"You talked back to Dumbledore and didn't get in trouble!" he heard an older Slytherin cry out in awe.
"How did you get past the age line?" one of the Weasley twins demanded, completely ignoring the fluffy white beard now adorning his face, in favour of finding out the answer to this question.
Jack laughed, "Maybe I'm really some Muggle evil genius, who's found a way to make myself look like a kid, to go back in time and learn magic." he suggested, making it sound like a joke, and causing both twins to pull faces and deny this possibility in-between wild bursts of laughter.
"You? Evil genius?" Ianto asked sceptically, making a weak attempt to smile and laugh along with the other students, as he elbowed his way into the middle of the crowd gathered around Jack now.
"You know I am." Jack said distantly, watching as the twins stole the centre of attention from him, going on about Muggle scientists making gadgets to turn them into kids. In spite of their complete lack of knowledge of the Muggle world, each of their wild theories sounded like it might make an excellent premise for a sci-fi B-movie. "Come on." he grabbed Ianto's arm and led him away from the rest of the students.
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The rest of the Torchwood team followed them into the Great Hall, as Jack quickly led Ianto over to the Gryffindor table. The few Gryffindor students in the general vicinity of where Jack chose to sit gave them both dark stares, then picked up their things and moved away, further down the table. Nobody likes a Slytherin, apparently.
"You want me to quote the Da Vinci Code?" Owen asked, grinning.
"Yes, because that's your only reference to ancient Earth symbology, Owen." Tosh sniped, clearly understanding the rude joke involving the Goblet of Fire, even if she showed no sign of finding it amusing.
Footsteps echoed from the doorway, now, ominous and loud. The entire team looked up to see Professor Snape storming across the hall toward them.
"Uh oh, you're in trouble now." Gwen said, wide-eyed.
Ianto turned his back on Snape, making a visible effort to fight back a smirk, "This ought to be good." he muttered.
"What in Merlin's name do you think you were doing, Harkness?" Snape yelled as soon as he was within earshot... thus drawing the attention of the entire hall.
"I don't think I've ever done anything in Merlin's name. Ianto...?"
"No, I'm sure I would have noticed." Ianto said, adamantly keeping his back turned to Snape to prevent the teacher seeing that he was now blushing and trying not to laugh at the same time. Owen fell over backwards and disappeared from sight spluttering with laughter.
"You know perfectly well what I am talking about, Mr Harkness!" Snape snarled.
Jack put on his serious face and looked up at the teacher, "Is there a problem with one of your students entering the tournament to bring glory to our house, Professor?"
"There is when the student in question is twelve years old!" Snape snapped.
Jack tried not to smirk, and only just succeeded, "The age line would seem to disagree with you, Professor."
"You had best hope that your name is not chosen, Harkness." Snape spat angrily, "You could easily get yourself killed."
"I'm aware of that, sir." Jack said blandly, still fighting the urge to grin. Owen's laughter echoed up from behind the table.
Snape almost literally growled, "How are you not a Gryffindor?" he hissed, before turning and sweeping away, doing his best to impersonate an overgrown bat.
"That went well." Ianto observed dryly.
Owen peered up from behind the table, "Is he gone?"
"Gryffindor?" Jack chuckled, "I think that's the greatest insult that man knows."
"He didn't seem happy." Gwen said brightly, while Tosh giggled quietly next to her.
"He could have hexed you." Ianto pointed out to Jack.
"He could have tried."
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The next few hours dragged by interminably slowly. Ianto had never felt so agitated in all his life. Mortal peril was one thing... he could handle that. Sitting around waiting to see if someone he lo- someone he cared about was going to end up in mortal peril was eating him up inside.
He couldn't concentrate when he tried to distract himself with schoolwork. Or helping Tosh with one of her projects. She seemed unaffected, but he was so distracted that she eventually felt the need to tell him to try and get some rest instead of interfering.
He couldn't eat, at the feast. Not one bite. He just sat there, staring across the Hall at Jack.
Jack seemed to be perfectly fine with his virtually suicidal decision, chatting happily to the other Slytherins and lapping up the attention of being the only one to have crossed the age line while apparently underage. Even the Durmstrang students seemed to gravitate towards him in that way that Jack had of just attracting people to him and his cause with no apparent effort.
It made Ianto want to be sick.
He only made note of the extravagant decorations on an academic level... mostly to avoid putting his hand into the lit pumpkins on the table instead of the candy bowls that represented their dessert. He did take some of the candy... hoping to celebrate later that someone who wasn't Jack had gotten into the Tournament in Hogwarts' name, instead.
Finally, the food disappeared, and Dumbledore rose to speak, "Well, the Goblet is almost ready to make its decision. I estimate that it requires one more minute." he announced.
One whole minute? Ianto felt the strong desire to collapse forward and hit his head on the table, just so he didn't have to think about anything for the next fifty-eight seconds. He only just resisted that urge.
"Now, when the champions' names are called, I would ask them please to come up to the top of the Hall, walk along the staff table, and go through into the next chamber, where they will be receiving their first instructions."
Forty-one, Ianto counted in his head. It wasn't quite as accurate as his stopwatch, but that was back in the Hub, over a decade in the future.
The lights dimmed, as Ianto stared at the table blankly. The only light in the room now seemed to be coming from the Goblet of Fire itself.
When he reached eight on his count-down, the firelight in the room flashed from blue to red, and he finally deigned to look up at the front of the Hall. The fire in the Goblet was giving off sparks... and then a great flash of flame, like a solar flare, lifted a piece of paper out and almost directly into Dumbledore's hand.
"The Champion for Durmstrang will be Viktor Krum."
That was predictable. And all of Durmstrang cheered as if they had known as much as well. None of them wanted to compete, they were just there to make up numbers for their celebrity champion.
"Bravo, Viktor!" Karkaroff cheered, as Krum passed the stage and disappeared through a door behind the staff table, "Knew you had it in you!"
Ianto counted another ten seconds before the second flare, and the second name came out of the Goblet.
"The Champion for Beauxbatons is Fleur Delacour!" Dumbledore announced.
While all of Durmstrang had cheered on their champion, the Beauxbatons students who hadn't been chosen sulked impressively, as a blonde-haired and rather beautiful young woman stood elegantly, and followed Viktor Krum into the other room.
"She's hot." Ianto heard Owen remark, from the next table. Too bad he was out of range of casual violence.
Another twelve seconds ticked by with interminable slowness.
Then the third and final flare erupted from the Goblet, and Dumbledore caught it.
He read it over slowly twice. Ianto felt his heart sinking.
"The Hogwarts Champion... is Jack Harkness."
A loud noise from the staff table drew Ianto's attention. While he himself had refrained from violently introducing his head to the table, it seemed that Professor Snape lacked that particular willpower.
Jack did look surprised, but not upset by the news. The only cheers he got came from the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, his fellow second-year Slytherins, Draco Malfoy and his gang... and loud wolf-whistles and cheers from Owen and Gwen.
Well, those two would be pariahs in the Gryffindor common room tonight.
Jack was laughing at Snape's reaction, as he stood, "Suck on that, Warrington!" he shouted down the Slytherin table, before heading for the same door that the other champions had left through.
Dumbledore watched him go with evident disapproval, before quite blatantly putting on a mask of good cheer and announcing to the rest of the Hall, "Excellent! Well, we now have our three champions. I am sure I can count upon all of you, including the remaining students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang, to give your champions every ounce of support you can muster. By cheering your champion on, you will contribute in a very real-"
But a fourth flare from the Goblet distracted him.
He caught the piece of parchment and read it over with much more concern and irritation than he had for Jack's. After almost a minute, he cleared his throat distractedly, and read out, "Harry Potter."
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