Tony was distantly aware of someone grabbing him. At first he thought it was Mesman, back to hit him again. Half asleep and head still foggy, Tony tried to kick him away. He wasn't ready to be hit again, everything still hurt so bad that if he had to do it again he would probably break down.
His eyes snapped open when he kicked out again and made contact, the person he hit let out a soft grunt. First he thought he had kicked Mesman, which would have been very bad. Tony shot up in bed as he looked around the room. His fear died down as he saw Lotte hunched over in front of him.
"No. Oh no." Tony said quickly as he scooted off the bed towards her, ignoring the sharp pain bursting across his back. He had kicked Lotte. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. It was an accident. I'm sorry."
She reached forward and took Tony's head in her hands. "It's alright, Tony. I shouldn't have startled you." She kissed his head gently. "You're probably still very confused. You've only been asleep for an hour so your medication hasn't had time to wear off."
Tony nodded slowly. "Is it breakfast?" He asked.
"No, sweetie. Things have changed." She said. Lotte frowned as Tony looked up at her. "Come along now."
Lotte waved for him to stand and he did. He wobbled slightly at first, his body aching at every small movement, before he followed her out the room and down the hall. Something was wrong, Tony knew that much. Lotte sounded stressed, whatever she woke him up for must have been bad.
Tony felt sick, his head was spinning and he barely made it down the stairs. He didn't think he could walk much further. Fortunately Lotte stopped, turning around and grabbing him by the shoulders quickly. When she pushed him down gently to sit on the bottom stairs he went willingly.
"Mesman is packing right now. We have to leave." Lotte said quickly, brushing back his hair. "Apparently SHIELD followed you from America. That's not very good Tony."
"I'm sorry." Tony muttered. He dropped his head into his hands, only to pull back with a hiss as his forehead hit is burnt fingers. He sat there for a few seconds, staring at his hands. "I didn't know they would follow me. I'm really sorry. When are we leaving?"
"No, dear. You don't need to be sorry. You thought you got away and you didn't. You are young and foolish, no one blames you." She said, smiling slightly. "But we need you to stay here."
Tony blinked. "You're leaving me here?" He said, frowning. "But I just got back. I don't want to go back to SHIELD."
Lotte shushed him, pulling his head forward to rest against her shoulder. Tony closed his eyes and breathed in sharply. It was nice, calming. He liked to just be held as Lotte ran her hands through his hair.
He tensed as he heard Mesman approach. Lotte pulled away and Tony leaned back as Mesman knelt down in front of him. Things were different. He never used to be afraid when he saw Mesman, he used to just take every punishment and beating as calmly as he had every other part of his life. His time at SHIELD changed it all, Tony wasn't happy about it. He didn't like being afraid when he was home.
Tony's head jerked to the side as Mesman's hand struck his face. His cheek was still sensitive and throbbed from the hits he took the night before. Mesman slapped him often. Tony never noticed before but it seemed quite clear now.
"Focus, Tony." Mesman said calmly. Tony nodded quickly. "We do not know how soon they will get here. They might not even know where to look just yet, they just know you're in the country."
"What if they show up? What am I supposed to do?" Tony said, turning around to look back up the stairs. He was tired and wanted to go back to sleep.
"You will be a distraction. To give us time to get away in case they show up soon." Mesman said. He took a step back and pressed a handgun into his hands. Tony looked down at it, the gun was cold and heavy in his hands.
"I don't understand." Tony said slowly. Mesman certainly didn't want him to shoot anyone.
Tony was a good shot, hardly ever missed when he had to fire at a target. He was also fairly good at hunting, if there was a need for that. But he had never actually shot at another person. The only people he ever saw regularly was Mesman and Lotte, if he ever pointed a gun at one of them he would have probably been killed.
"You will shoot any SHIELD agent that sets foot in this house." Mesman said quickly. "Keep them busy."
"Because I'm the distraction." Tony said, nodding to himself. "What do I do when I'm done? How will I know where to find you?"
"That will not be an issue." Mesman said as he turned and walked towards the door. "When it's done we will find you."
Tony stayed sitting on the stairs, staring at the door Mesman had just left through. Tony wasn't thinking straight, something was very wrong here and he couldn't figure out what. His whole body ached and everything was just so confusing that he wanted to go back upstairs, curl up in bed, and sleep forever.
He leaned against the banister of the staircase, resting his stinging cheek on the cool wood. He just wanted it all to be over. He didn't want to be hit anymore, he didn't want to be lied to, Tony just wanted to go back to sleep.
Lotte smiled at him as she walked back into the room. He hadn't even noticed she left, but was pleased that she was back. She knelt down in front of him, kissed his forehead, and pushed his sketchbook into his hands.
"I know you liked it, so I saved it for you." She said. "The pictures are nice."
"Steve drew most of them." Tony said. His hand brushed over the darkened cover and opened it up to the first page. The page was burnt only in the corner so the llama Steve had drawn for him was still clear and perfect.
"He has talent." Lotte said. She pulled back and turned to leave. "Just do as you're told and everything will be fine. Don't worry."
Tony nodded. He didn't look up to watch her leave, his attention stayed down on his book as he flipped through the pages. It was easy to tell which drawings were his and which ones were Steve's. Tony's were sloppy, each line drawn with a shaky and uncertain hand. Steve's drawings were prefect, each smooth curve came together just right to make exactly what he intended to make.
He closed the book and held it close to his chest. He was alone now. Lotte and Mesman had just left him here. There was a fleeting moment of panic where he believed they intended to abandon him here, not bother with him again. He shook the thought from his head.
They cared about him. They raised him. They wouldn't just leave him here like a pile of trash they no longer had a use for or needed to worry about. Lotte cared.
Tony couldn't stay sitting on the stairs anymore and he didn't have the energy to go back up and return to bed. Instead he walked to the living room, his book clutched to his chest and the gun hanging limply in his hand. There were several plush couches in the room, Tony pulled the loose bandages off of bis back and dropped himself into the nearest one and rolled around until he found a comfortable spot that didn't hurt his ribs or his back.
SHIELD was going to capture him again. It didn't matter how many agents he was supposed to shoot, but he was fairly sure he didn't want to shoot any, SHIELD would just keep sending more. They were a large organization with hundreds of people at their disposal. Tony was just Tony.
He considered briefly just running away. If SHIELD took too long then there was no need for a distraction. Then he would be free for when Mesman and Lotte came to get him.
Tony sat up slowly. He couldn't sleep, there was one small thought that was bumping around in his head that made a lot of sense but was too terrible for him to believe. Lotte told him to do what he was told. Mesman told him to stay here and wait for SHIELD. If he did that it was obvious he would be caught and arrested again. They wanted that to happen.
Why would they want him to be arrested again? Mesman had made it quite clear he was disappointed in Tony for being arrested the first time. He didn't want to go back to SHIELD, he didn't want to see Steve or Coulson or any of them ever again. They did nothing but lie to him, trick him into doing what they wanted.
He gripped the gun tightly in his hand and pulled his knees up to his chest. He didn't know what to do. He wished life was easier, that he could stay home with Lotte and Mesman without being afraid that he would be hit and beaten and locked away. He wished he could go back to SHIELD and spend time with Steve, Peter, Rhodey, Coulson, and everyone else without being lied to and monitored and still locked away. Those were his options and he didn't want either of them.
Tony was tired, he just wanted to go back to sleep. But he couldn't with all the confusing thoughts and worries running rampant in his mind. He wanted it all to stop.
They wouldn't really miss him. They left him here, they were getting rid of him anyway. Tony lifted the gun slowly, looking it over one last time before he pressed it against his forehead and pulled the trigger.
There was no loud band, no bright light. Just the light click of an unloaded gun. He whined loudly and dropped his head to rest on his knees. He was tired. He wanted to sleep.
There had to be another way to help him sleep, help him to not get captured by SHIELD again, and help Mesman and Lotte to finally be rid of him. It's what everyone wanted. He just had to figure out a way to do it.
"Tony?"
His head rolled to the side to look at the figures standing by the door. Steve. He held a brightly colored shield in hand and looked about ready to kill someone. Two heavily armed and protected agents stood around him, both of them aiming their weapons at Tony.
"Put down the gun." One of them said. Tony looked back down at the small, useless hunk of metal in his hand.
"Tony, are you alright?" Steve said. Tony shook his head. "Did they hurt you?"
Tony looked back over at him. "No more than usual."
Steve's shoulders drooped as his eyes continued to wander over his face and Tony's exposed back. He seemed to notice something as he looked him over carefully.
"Tony, did they drug you?" Steve asked slowly.
Tony looked away, back down at the gun. It must have been obvious, he certainly felt different so he must have been acting different. "Go away Steve. I don't want you here."
"That's okay." Steve said. "I know you're upset with me. I probably shouldn't have mentioned your father, you didn't want to talk about him with anyone so I should have known not to say so much."
"You shouldn't have lied to me." Tony said, shaking his head. "It was all just a trick. One big joke."
"No it wasn't." Steve said quickly, taking a small step towards Tony.
Tony stood up and walked back, putting more and more distance between the two of them. The sketchbook dropped to the floor but Tony kept a firm grip on the gun.
"Tony, you're not thinking clearly." Steve said. He lowered the shield and raised his hands up slowly, palms out in a gesture to show he was unarmed and didn't want to hurt him. Tony shook his head.
"Put down the gun!" The agents shouted again. "We don't want to shoot you."
Tony looked at the agents, suddenly interested. His gaze dropped down to the gun he held tightly at his side. That was certainly an interesting suggestion.