26. Pokémon in socks and present capers
It took a long time to reach Violet City due to the antics of Rina and her several disappearances. She ran off chasing butterflies on several occasions and she had insisted they go and hunt for her socks when more pairs went missing during the night. The search ended in failure and Kaida and Nila both thought that there must be a Jigglypuff nearby cackling manically at their attempts.
Flo did not cause much trouble because she wished to get home for her birthday. She had become quite the slave driver, in fact, yelling at them all to get a move on and hurry up. This ended badly for her when they picked up the pace quite drastically and she was left behind, complaining that she had short legs.
Flo's house was just as Kaida remembered: completely and utterly insane. It was still stuffed to the brim with random objects. Clearly the occupants refused to throw anything away and there were more memorabilia including a Bellsprout lamp that wiggled back and forward and a side table that had a Donphan base. It did not go well with the Chansey curtains.
Flo's mother looked a lot like her daughter. She was short with light brown hair and hazel eyes, although she had more curve to her hips, which Flo would probably acquire with age. She was pretty and full of smiles and had the same obsession with Bellsprout that her daughter did.
"And then we'll have the Bellsprout birthday cake for my baby girl," she cooed, "and some cookies shaped as Bellsprout heads…"
Rina perked up at the mention of cookies. She was quite ravenous and nibbling on the small chunk of cheese she had been given would only sustain her for so long.
"Hey." Kaida grabbed Nila's arm as Flo and Rina went on into the living room, discussing Flo's upcoming party.
"You are touching me again." Nila glared at the offending hand.
"Oh, get over it. Now listen," Kaida whispered. "Are we meant to be getting Flo a birthday present?"
"Like a gift given out of love?" Nila asked sceptically.
"Well, not love as such… Maybe just friendship," Kaida replied, sticking her head around the door frame to check that Flo wasn't listening.
"I don't think we are there yet in our relationship," Nila stated, wandering off into the kitchen to refill her glass of milk. She spotted some apple juice and decided to have that instead. She loved both drinks and it was nice to have a change now and again. On second thoughts, it was an even hour and she normally had apple juice during the odd hours. Milk it was then…
"Nila," Kaida hissed, marching after her. "We have to get her something!"
"Must we?" Nila sighed, reaching into the fridge to get the large bottle of milk that Flo had shown her earlier.
"Yes," Kaida pressed. "She may be annoying but it's the right thing to do"
"I hate the right thing," Nila muttered, shutting the fridge door. "It means effort."
Kaida ignored this and continued. "Now what would she want?"
"Some fashion sense?" Nila smirked.
"If you aren't going to be helpful then I will pour the rest of Flo's milk down the sink." Kaida scowled.
Nila's eyes widened in horror at the thought of all that milk just washing away…
"What about a nice little, cute Pokémon? That's a good idea." She nodded and then glared at Kaida. "Now you can't take my milk away. If you try then I'll bite you. Don't think I won't do it."
Kaida didn't doubt she would, but she was more wrapped up in what Nila had said before that. She grinned and nodded. "That's not actually a bad idea," she said. "She's always moaning that I evolved her Bellsprout so we could go get her a new better Pokémon."
"Yes. Now. Just to be clear. There will be no attempted spillages of the milk?" Nila eyed her suspiciously.
"No, no you're safe." Kaida waved her hand dismissively, looking through her Pokédex to see what Pokémon she could catch around violet city. "For now" she added, giggling at Nila's wide eyes. She stopped giggling when Nila's wide eyes narrowed into a death glare. Perhaps it would be better for her health if she didn't threaten the milk. Nila wasn't exactly the sanest of beings…
Back in the living room, Flo was rattling off her birthday plans to a rather confused Rina, who had taken up drawing on the notepad by the phone. Wooper was investigating the bounciness of the sofa, while Hoppip seemed to be rather amused by watching itself in the mirror that was hanging over the fire place. Psyduck was holding its head in the corner, trying to hide from the noise behind a big pillowed arm chair. Weepinbell was still following Flo's mother around, probably hoping to get some love and attention from her, since Flo seemed to dislike it now and did not give it the same attention that it used to have.
"I want to invite all the children in the city" Flo declared, completely disregarding the vast numbers this would include, as her mum re-entered the room, holding a tray of cakes, cookies, tea, and orange juice.
Rina launched herself upon the plate as soon as the china hit the cold shiny surface of the coffee table. Of course, because of the shiny smoothness, Rina and the plate went skidding across the surface and onto the floor. Flo's mother raised her eyebrows at the young biscuit and cake covered girl as Rina smiled up at her through the crumbs.
"I'll get you a damp cloth," she grumbled, eyeing her now messy carpet, and wandered off back into the kitchen as Kaida and Nila entered the living room, confused to why there had been a scream.
"Damn it. I thought you were hurt." Nila sighed.
"I knew it! You do wuv me!" Rina grinned, struggling to get up but looking like a stranded Ledyba.
"No," Nila corrected. "I wanted to come and laugh at you for being your moronic self or congratulate the person who did make you fall on your arse." Nila flopped down next to Wooper on the sofa, causing the creature to bounce onto the floor but this seemed to please it as it tried to scramble back up to bounce off again. Flo's mum reappeared with the damp cloth throwing it at Rina: she had not made a good first impression.
"I'm going out to get more food for my little pookie's party," she cooed at Flo, bending down and kissing her nose. "You girls have a lovely day… And don't break anything!" Her voice became gruff as she spoke the 'don't break anything' part and she eyed Rina with some distaste.
"Yeah we're gonna head off too." Kaida gave Nila a hard look that meant 'get off your lazy arse and do something.'
"Yeah, we have to go do things," Nila grunted, not even trying to hide her annoyance at the whole idea of moving. She wiggled her arms and legs in the air erratically then let them drop dramatically. "Oh no." She mocked, her voice deadpan and her face blank of all emotion. "I can't get up. What a pity. Looks like you will have to go with out me."
Kaida glared. A small twitch was developing in her eye.
"Wooper, Water Gun her arse!"
The little Pokémon happily obliged: it had not been in battle for a long time and, as it had no fear of Nila and her homicidal tendencies, it let rip.
"Ahhh!" Nila yelled, trying to use her hands to stop the water, but failing miserably. "You've made your point. I'll move!"
"OK, Wooper, you can stop now." Kaida looked satisfied by the drenched Nila in front of her.
"How come Wooper listens to you?" Flo asked, watching Kaida as she fed Wooper a Poffin.
"Because I'm nice to it," Kaida beamed. "It's a wonder what being nice can do for you," she shot at Nila, who was muttering under her breath. "Want me to warm up those damp clothes?"
She smirked as Nila glared at her.
"Don't you dare," Nila said. Stiffly, she added, "I'll be fine."
She got up from the soaking wet sofa and stomped towards the door, saying moodily, "Let's get this over with."
"Ahh, sweet satisfaction," Kaida whispered to herself happily. She turned back to the two squabbling girls on the floor – they didn't even seem able to share a packet of biscuits – and she grimaced at their high pitched voices. "Bye, you two. Try not to cause too much trouble."
"Huh?" Rina looked up confused. but Kaida had left minutes ago so no one was there to answer her. "I swear I heard voices."
"It's all in your head," Flo said simply, biting into her chocolate biscuit prize. "I'm gonna go get a drink."
Flo wandered into the kitchen, still munching her biscuit with Wooper at her heels and Hoppip floating along beside her. Something caught her eye out of the window but she brushed it aside and continued to the fridge. Pulling out a small bottle of orange juice, she walked back over to the sink where she could check what she had seen outside. She had guessed it was Weepinbell until she saw it sleeping on the table. She was greeted by an odd sight and summoned Rina to the kitchen because, out on her lawn, stood a fat little Jigglypuff. It was the one Rina had insulted weeks ago – who had been stalking them since then – but it had changed.
"It's wearing socks!" Flo pointed, jumping up and down in fear.
"Hmm. They look familiar" Rina pondered
"They are yours, you idiot! It's been stealing them!" Flo yelled. Her resolution to keep calm in terrifying situations didn't seem to be holding.
"But why would it want my socks?" Rina now looked totally confused; wrinkles were appearing on her brow as she tried to think hard and figure it out.
"How am I meant to know?" Flo squeaked, still looking horrified that a Jigglypuff in multi coloured striped socks was sitting in the middle of her lawn, looking oddly happy and more than slightly demented.
"Should I go poke it?" Rina asked. Reaching for the door.
"No! It will kill you! I've seen this stuff in movies!" Flo grabbed a chair and pulled it to the back door so she could pull all the locks at the top. "There that should hold it," she declared, but still she seemed nervous.
"Are you sure? What if it knows Hyper Beam or something?" Rina asked, peering out the window at the pink ball. "I think it's getting closer."
"Maybe we should send our Pokémon out to fight it." Flo rushed to open the window and ushered Wooper and a still sleepy Weepinbell out the window. Rina threw her three pokeballs, much to Flo's annoyance as she saw Magikarp flopping about in the grass below. "Well, that was helpful." She glared.
"Just watch. Any moment now it will show you its power."
Five minutes later and it was still splashing on the grass.
"I'm waiting." Flo tapped her foot impatiently, but her Pokémon weren't having any better luck. Wooper had ignored Jigglypuff completely and was investigating the small pond at the bottom of the garden, sniffing all the character ornaments around the pond's edge and activating the movement sensitive lights. Out of everything it was most amused by the sprinklers and, once they were on, it happily played in the spray of water. Jigglypuff seemed unfazed by the water and continued to stare at the girls through the window. Weepinbell had gone back to sleep in one of the flower beds, taking in the sun, and was snoring away, oblivious to its owners fear. Rina's two Slowpoke alternated between dozing and rolling in the mud that Wooper was making with the sprinklers. The lawn was now almost completely ruined.
"Obviously it doesn't like to perform to a crowd." Rina huffed, obviously disappointed that Magikarp had proved her wrong, but she still had hope.
"Jigglypuff, jiggly-ly puff." Jigglypuff's song drifted through the window.
"Ahh! Don't listen!" Flo screamed, clapping her hands over her ears.
Jigglypuff was now waddling forward, its movement slow but deadly.
"What are we going to do?" Rina pulled Flo down below the window.
"This is all your fault! You think of something!" Flo snapped, jumping up as she saw Hoppip floating out the smaller side window and slamming it shut. "Bloody suicidal Pokémon," she grumbled, crawling on her hands and knees back to where Rina was rocking back and forth.
"How is it my fault again?" Rina asked, furrows appearing on her face between her nose as she lapsed back into deep thought.
"You called it fat, remember?" Flo bopped her on the head, trying to get through to the thing she called a brain.
"Oh yeah!" Rina smiled as she finally remembered her first meeting with Jigglypuff. She huffed, her cheeks puffing up and her hair falling into her face. "You would think it would be over that by now."
"Well, you obviously hurt its feelings," Flo said slowly, and then added crossly, "and now it is going to kill us all and it's all your fault."
"Oh." Rina nodded, but Flo could tell she had stopped paying attention. She was probably thinking about her Manga. That was the only thing that could hold said ridiculously short attention span for any length of time.
"My mum is gonna kill me with the state of the garden." Flo lent her head against the cupboard, imagining her mum's reaction. She let out a low moan. She was so dead.
"You think it's gone?" Rina asked.
"Dunno. Let's check."
Flo and Rina slowly straightened up from their crouching positions to look out the window but, stood with its body pressed against the glass, was Jigglypuff. Its brow was scrunched above its round, blue eyes. It looked furious.
"Oh, my sweet Bellossom!" Flo gasped, backing away into the table.
"Jigglyyyyyyyy," the creature sang creepily through the glass, grinning insanely. The two girls screamed at the top of their lungs and rushed upstairs to Flo's bedroom, slamming the door and locking it. They then threw themselves under the bed.
"I wish Kaida and Nila were here," Flo whispered, scared Jigglypuff would hear them and hone in on their location.
"Flo, I'm scared." Rina's lip wobbled and her eyes brimmed with tears.
A crash from downstairs brought Flo to her senses and she pulled out her phone from her jeans pocket.
"What are you doing?" Rina whispered tearfully, but Flo put her finger to her lips as the phone rang.
"Kaida, you have to come home," she whispered quickly.
There was a pause as Rina guessed Kaida was replying.
"Just come home," Flo whined again. "The Jigglypuff that Rina pissed off is trying to kill us."
Another pause and Flo's face was growing red in frustration.
"This is not funny! Stop laughing the pair of you!" Flo banged the carpet with her fist. "No it's not a normal Jigglypuff," she growled.
Rina got the feeling that Kaida and Nila were finding all this all too funny.
"Yes, we tried using our Pokémon against it. Yes, really, Kaida." Flo huffed, not liking how the conversation was going. "Just come home before it eats our organs!"
"Whaaat?!" Rina shrieked, going back deeper into the darkness of Flo's bed.
There was another crash from downstairs as Flo clicked the phone off.
"We are so going to die," Flo whispered, hitting her head on the floor in defeat.
-
While Jigglypuff had been terrorising Flo and Rina, Kaida and Nila had been having their own problems in Violet City while trying to find an appropriate present for Flo.
"Can't we just get her a book?" Nila muttered mutinously as she followed Kaida through another patch of wet grass.
"Do you really think Flo is a book person?" Kaida raised her right eyebrow, holding back a snigger from seeing Nila's grumpy expression.
"Maybe if it had pictures in it," Nila grumbled. How anyone could not adore the power of a good book was a mystery to her. Admittedly her idea of a good book did vary from John's, for example, but at least he appreciated reading. Unlike Flo. "Uneducated philistine," she added, imagining the state of a book after Flo had been at it. The cover would probably be creased, the pages folded over, perhaps even scribbles in the margins…
"If we can't find a cute Pokémon then we will go to the book shop, OK? Will that make you happy?" Kaida waved her arm exasperatedly.
"Yes," Nila said sullenly, adding quickly, "if you buy me a nice, warm hot chocolate."
"Fine, if it means you will actually help…" Kaida glared at her, her green eyes alight with frustration.
Nila just chuckled to herself she liked making Kaida mad plus there was warm milky hot chocolate to be had.
"May I get a cookie with it without having to shove it in my mouth before Rina steals it?" Nila added, thinking of the good old days before Rina where she could actually eat without having to guard her food. She continued, "And even then she tries to pry open my jaw… Kaida, she does not respect my personal boundaries!" Nila scuffed her trainer on the ground and glared at a stray rock, her gaze occasionally flicking to Kaida as if she could actually do anything about Rina.
Well, that's a lie, Kaida thought, because I could lock her in a cage. But then she would never annoy Nila so much and annoyed Nila was funny when attacking another person.
"It's too wet out here." Nila's body jerked in revulsion as she examined her wet jeans shorts. Somehow they had still become muddy despite the fact they were knee length. Stomping about must have sprayed mud all over them.
"Well, it has been raining," Kaida shot back.
"Yes, thank you, Captain Obvious. Care to point out anything else, like, I dunno, the grass is green, the sky is blue and my underwear is soaking," Nila ranted, pulling at her top as more rain started to pour down onto them.
"Well that was a little more then I needed to know." Kaida continued on through the rain. She had wisely put all her Pokémon, even Cyndaquil, into Pokéballs, since none of them would appreciate this weather.
"Have I told you how much I hate you today?" Nila yelled through the rain that was increasingly becoming heavier.
"Only five actually," Kaida yelled back. She could tell Nila was glaring daggers into the back of her head. Everything was normal then.
"Ahh, stupid Weedle. Watch where you are going!" Nila shouted at a herd of Weedle who wiggled faster in fear, trying to escape the crazy girl that was threatening to tread on them. "Kaaaidaa," Nila whined. "You know this is torture."
Out here. With the mud. The wet. The dirt. The general lack of hygiene…
"Don't be a baby, it's just a bit of – AHH!" Kaida's sentence was cut off as she stepped through a patch of extremely large grass and vanished out of sight.
"Kaida," Nila yelled in alarm, hurrying over to where she had disappeared in her now completely drenched clothes. As she pushed though the tall grass, Kaida broke the surface of the small lake that she had walked into and glared.
"Don't laugh, don't speak, don't memorise this!" she shouted, pulling pond weed from her hair and wading towards a hysterical Nila who was now on her knees with laughter.
"Do you ever pay attention to what I say?" Kaida kicked the still laughing Nila who looked like she wasn't going to stop anytime soon. "That's it I'm going home, no milk or hot chocolate or whatever for you!" Kaida shouted wringing out her clothes and stomping off towards the town.
"No, no, I'll stop, please. Give. Milk." Nila gasped between laughs. She hurried to her feet and ran to catch up with Kaida who was still rather grumpy. "Can we just get her a book now?"
"Yes." Kaida huffed, annoyed that her idea had failed. "She can like it or lump it."
"And by lump it you mean we hit her?" Nila asked, liking the way the conversation was going.
"Would I suggest anything else?" Kaida grinned evilly.
After finally reaching the bookshop, the two girls had been greeted with glares as they dripped on the carpet. Nila was in heaven as she gazed along the many bookshelves, plucking out books at random and scanning their blurbs. Kaida left her to her own devices and went in search for Flo's birthday present by herself. After much searching she found a small pink book called "Cute Pokémon: where to find them and how to parade them." It was full of information on how to use the Pokémon moves to achieve the best points in contests and, for Flo's pleasure, it included pictures to coo over. Kaida also picked up a book for her pleasure about fire Pokémon and the best tactics and moves to use against certain types.
She showed Nila before she purchased the gift but found Nila not really listening as she continued to read through the four books she had bought but, as Kaida mentioned milk, she followed her upstairs to the cafe area without a fuss after Kaida had bought the two books. They sat down with a mug of hot chocolate with extra milk for Nila and a large, normal, hot chocolate for Kaida. However the peace was soon disturbed as, after a few minutes, Kaida's phone vibrated in her pocket, ruining their conversation on battle tactics for Morty. It surprised Kaida that her phone still worked, considering the unexpected bath it had received earlier on.
"Hello?" Kaida whispered, fearing that Nila would kill her for speaking loudly in a bookshop. Or was that the library? Maybe it was both. Nila seemed to expect everyone to treat books with sacred reverence. Except the ones Nila hated. They could mock those mercilessly.
"What? Why?" Nila wrinkled her nose, confused about what sort of conversation she was listening in on. "A Jigglypuff is trying to kill you?!" Kaida burst into fits of laughter.
"What's going on?" Nila hissed at the outburst of loud noise.
"The Jigglypuff that Rina called fat is trying to kill Flo and Rina," Kaida choked out through her laughs.
"Are you serious?" Nila's face looked unbelieving that this weird situation was true.
"Totally." Kaida held up the phone so Nila could hear at the sound of Rina and Flo's squeaks. Soon Nila joined in with laughing at the whimpering girls, who were hiding under a bed.
"It's just a Jigglypuff, Flo." Kaida sighed. Her sides were beginning to hurt from all the laughing. "Well, have you tried, you know, battling it?"
"Them, battle, are you crazy?" Nila snorted, beginning to imitate Rina. "Go Magikarp, you fish god, save me from this giant ball of pinkness."
"You did really?" Kaida gasped. Frankly she was in shock that they had even thought of it. "OK, OK, we are coming. No need to freak out on me." Kaida clicked her phone off and stuffed it back into her cargo trousers. "Come on, we better go save them from that evil Jigglypuff"
"Our work is never done." Nila downed the rest of her drink and slammed it back on the table.
When they arrived back at Flo's they found nothing out of the ordinary. Everything was completely silent with no sounds of murderous Jigglypuff anywhere.
"Hellooo?" Kaida called as she pushed open the front door. There was a scuffling noise upstairs but no one came to greet them. Nila went to investigate the kitchen while Kaida stood at the bottom of the stairs. "Flo? Rina? We're home"
"Burning Ho-oh in the sky. Look at the garden!" Nila called from the kitchen.
Kaida groaned and padded towards the kitchen where Nila was looking mightily unimpressed at the muddy Pokémon outside. Flo appeared in the kitchen doorway a few moments later with Rina clinging to her arm.
"Did you see it?" Flo whispered.
"See what?! The mud hole that used to be your garden?!" Nila exclaimed.
"No, the Jigglypuff!" Flo hissed, hiding behind the doorframe.
"It's wearing socks," Rina added. "My socks!"
"Right." Kaida sniggered, slapping Nila's arm as she doubled over in laughter at the thought of a Jigglypuff wearing Rina's weird coloured socks.
"We are telling the truth." Flo scowled as though she was a small child accused of eating all the biscuits when it had in fact been a sibling.
"Of course." Kaida grabbed the chair, which Flo had knocked on the floor in her escape to her room, and placed it by the back door so she could stand on it to unlock the many locks that Flo has deemed necessary to keep out a Jigglypuff. As the door opened, a wet and extremely muddy Wooper came sliding in, leaving a muddy trail behind it. Hoppip followed happily, doing its splash dance and looking very pleased with itself. Rina's Slowpoke were still snoozing in the mud and Magikarp had managed to splash its way to the pond and was enjoying a little swim.
"Where's Psyduck?" Kaida frowned, counting off the Pokémon.
"Sat in the coat cupboard with a headache. It always has a stupid headache," Flo muttered, pulling herself up onto the kitchen table now that the coast was clear.
"And Togepi?" Flo's eyes bulged out in shock. Where was Togepi?!
"Holy Houndour on a Poffin." Flo dived off the table, almost slipping over the mud trail that Wooper had left. "TOGEPI?! Where are you? Don't play games with mama!"
"Rina, go turn off the sprinklers, would you?" Kaida asked, filling the sink with hot soapy water so she could get the mud off Wooper.
"You know," Kaida whispered to Nila, who threw Wooper into the large sink. "Hoppip looks a bit too pleased with itself"
"Mmm. I noticed that too. Think it was what drove Jigglypuff off?"
Kaida nodded, rubbing Wooper's head with a cloth to get off the hard mud.
"Methinks it knows more than it's letting Flo in on," Kaida continued.
Hoppip paused as it floated past their conversation and gave them a wide eyed pleading stare.
"Your secret is safe," Kaida told it. "You can remain Super Hoppip."
Hoppip smiled and floated on, seemingly singing to itself.
"You do think Flo will ever realise?" Nila asked, bored. She already knew the answer.
"I'm gonna say no," Kaida answered, lifting a happy Wooper out of the sink and onto the waiting tea towel that Nila had found.
"She's doing it again." Nila growled, pointing to Rina who, instead of turning off the sprinklers, was now dancing in them much like Wooper had done. "Excuse me, I have some business to attend too." Nila smirked, grabbing a mop from the cupboard and heading outside into the wet and muddy garden.
"Well Rina is going to regret this." Kaida watched from the window with Wooper and Hoppip as Nila chased Rina round the garden with the mop. Rina looked utterly terrified as Nila didn't look too friendly with her wet hair draped over her face and her eyes full of anger.
"Tonight is gonna be fun isn't it," she said rhetorically, then smiling as she heard Flo crash around up stairs and decided that now was probably the best time to go wrap her present.