Forever Until Now
Chapter 26;; Smile for the Lightning
She looked across at him and smiled sadly. "I wish to see my baby sister open her eyes and gaze at the world in wonder…"
"Macavity!"
"Macavity!"
"How have you been, Macavity?"
"How are the Jellicles, Macavity?"
"Would you like a drink, Macavity?"
Macavity groaned, wishing that they would all just shut up. The one thing he hated most about the Chardirs was that they would never, ever leave him alone. To them, he was exotic, handsome, mysterious.
Of course, that wasn't the only thing he hated about them. Hell, it's easy to hate a bunch of pompous jerks like them. He hated their stuck-up attitudes, their tendency to act 'superior', the way they avoided touching him, the way they spoke to him like he was an animal in the zoo… really, he hated them all. With a few exceptions, of course.
"If you ladies don't mind," he said, completely ignoring the fact that several toms were also gathered round, "I need a little time to myself."
"But of course, Macavity!"
"Feel free, Macavity!"
"When will we see you again, Macavity?"
Blocking his ears to their chirpy voices, he set off, teeth gritted. Thankfully, they left him alone, though a few trailed after him before giving up. Sure, it was nice to be so loved after being exiled by his own father, but the questions were too much for him. He couldn't keep up. He didn't want to, anyway. He just wanted to sink into a deep dream – a dream where he lived a life without magic and became the Protector of the Jellicles in his brother's stead.
Everyone would've been better off if that dream was a reality. Munkustrap would live a calm life – the sort of life he needed if he was ever going to overcome his disease. By taking responsibility as Jellicle Protector, he got little sleep and needed to keep in shape. It wasn't good for his body. Macavity sneered. My brother is an utter fool – my father, too.
But Munkustrap wasn't the only one who would've benefited. The entire tribe would have been safe under Macavity's protection. He was strong – stronger than Munkustrap, he was sure.
Stop dreaming of things that'll never be reality to you. It's useless. Pitiful. Macavity's throat tightened as he told himself this. He needed to stop fluffing about.
"Stop dreaming of things that'll never be reality to you. It's useless. Pitiful… just like you," he repeated aloud, just to reassure himself.
"And what, may I ask, is troubling you?"
Inwardly, Macavity cursed. "Didn't I just ask you all to leave me alone?" he spat, rounding on whichever damned queen had followed him.
Meiyina raised an eyebrow. "If I was there, I did not hear you," she shrugged.
Macavity sighed gratingly. "No, you weren't there, actually," he admitted gruffly.
"Ah… then it was unwise and rather rude of you to assume that I was, no?" she chuckled. "I expected more of you, oh great Macavity."
Macavity rolled his eyes. "You know that I'm not as amazing as they make me out to be, Mei."
Meiyina shot a curious glance at him. "You called me by my kitten-name," she said almost accusingly.
Macavity shrugged. "It's what I've always known you as."
Meiyina sniffed and looked away again. "So…alone as usual?"
Macavity gave a dry laugh. "The company of your kind gives me no pleasure, I'm afraid. They always ask so many bloody questions and I'm not even allowed to touch them!"
Meiyina didn't reprimand him as she would've with any other cat. "You know why we do not allow physical contact between outsiders and ourselves," she said quietly. "Allowing cats like you to touch our pure fur would be… such a waste."
She didn't need to say it aloud for Macavity to know that she was referring to Victoria. His smile tightened, but he responded lightheartedly.
"Yeah… sucks to be you."
"Well, I could say the very same thing to you," Meiyina retorted.
Macavity tipped his head to one side. "Say it."
"…Sorry?"
"'Sucks to be you'. I want to hear you say that." Macavity's eyes glinted devilishly.
"Er…Sucks to be you," Meiyina said, delicately navigating through the pronunciations. Macavity burst into laughter. "What do you find so amusing?" she asked in an irritated fashion.
"For a moment there… you reminded me a lot of Aly," he said fondly.
Meiyina's face turned to stone. "Are you attempting to irritate me deliberately?" she asked coldly.
"Whether or not it's deliberate, I'm succeeding," Macavity chuckled, tempted to reach out and brush her cheek. But he knew if he did, the consequences would be dire. She did look beautiful though, amber eyes all ablaze with icy fire and lips set.
There's only one reason you're looking at her like that, Macavity reminded himself.
"So, um… when's Victoria's funeral?" Macavity glanced sideways towards Meiyina, whose fists were still clenched. Amber eyes smoldering with fury met wary gold.
"Her… funeral? Macavity, do they tell you nothing?" Meiyina sighed, voice still hard.
"I was hoping that maybe you could tell me?"
"It is easier to show than tell. Come, Macavity. I will show you what they are attempting to do." Meiyina stood up and looked to the red tom expectantly. Brow crinkled in confusion, he rose to his feet.
"Meiyina, what on earth are you going on abou-"
"Just come," she said bossily, trotting of with a dainty bounce in her step. With a roll of his eyes, Macavity followed her.
Meiyina headed straight into a den Macavity recognized as the 'Medicinal Den'. She ordered him to wait outside and so he did, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Several queens passed by, pointing at him and whispering excitedly. He ignored them and closed his eyes, keeping his expression hard and emotionless.
"Oh gosh, just look at him…"
"He's so handsome he just about makes my heart burst!"
"Look at the color of his fur… it's so vivid! So lovely! It's like looking at a bonfire."
"It's a shame he's an outsider… I'd love to hold his hand, just once…"
"He's so much more exciting than our toms!"
"Oh, now don't let your tomfriend hear that!"
"Aw, whatever, we're all allowed to crush on Macavity. He's gorgeous."
Macavity clenched his teeth and tried to block their natter out of his head.
"I just love a moody tom, don't you?"
"Mmm… that burning gold of his eyes, so hard, so soft, so… yummy…"
"I do believe you're in love."
"That look on his face right now… it just says 'I'm a solitary tom. I don't need anyone. I bear with my problems alone.'"
"Heehee! You got it perfect!"
Macavity wondered what the consequences would be if he walked up to the pair of queens and slapped them both across the face.
"They do say certain things about him, though…"
"They say he's notorious! Deadly! But… he's so handsome…"
Macavity's eyes snapped open. Well, at least they did know a thing or two about him. "Ladies," he purred, eyes searching for the gossiping pair. "When you wish to speak of a cat behind his back, you're meant to do it… quietly."
He heard a couple of mortified gasps. The two queens leapt out of their hiding place and prepared to bolt. But he held up a paw to halt them.
"Wait a moment."
"H-huh?"
"H-he's talking to us!"
"I think I might die…!"
"I am dead! This is heaven!"
Inwardly, Macavity rolled his eyes. "Come closer…" he purred, using his most seductive voice. His eyes began to glow a bright, alluring color.
Both queens stumbled forward, mouths agape.
"What have you Chardirs heard about me?" he asked softly when they were close enough to touch. He refrained from reaching out to them, though – he knew it would be unwise.
"We-ell… not much, I guess."
"You're our mystery!"
"Our favorite mystery!"
"Some say that we shouldn't welcome you, though…"
"They say that you're beyond saving."
"I think they're stupid! You're not dangerous – not around us, at least."
Macavity narrowed his eyes in thought. "No, of course not," he said vaguely. Why would Chardirs be wary of him? Around them, magic lost its stifling grip on him. Around them, he felt free to be the cat he would've been if he wasn't 'gifted' by magic.
"Macavity! Tell me, what are you doing speaking to these two?" Meiyina's voice startled Macavity from his thoughts. He glanced back at her and offered a smile, toning down the force of his eyes so as not to arouse suspicion.
"You were taking a while," he said smoothly. "I was bored, so I had a conversation with these two." The two queens nodded eagerly.
"Knowing you, Macavity, it was not any old conversation," Meiyina sighed. "Come on in. The medics have allowed it, but you are to be on your best behavior." She stared at Macavity like he was a cheeky schoolchild and she was a stern teacher. Seeing her kittenish face worked in such an expression made Macavity chuckle lightly.
"I promise," he said lightly, crossing his arms over his heart.
"Hmph." Meiyina disappeared back into the den again.
"Well, looks like farewell." Macavity waved at the queens and followed Meiyina inside. They stared after him wistfully for a long time before finally heading off.
"So, what do we have here?" the red tom asked as he sauntered in. He fell silent when he saw a crowd of medics bent over a bed of cushions and down. Victoria's body had been carefully laid out atop the 'bed'.
And she was still smiling.
"The King has allowed use of the precious magic you brought us years back, Macavity," Meiyina explained quietly. Macavity's eyes widened.
"No… you're not serious?"
"Deadly serious."
Macavity didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Meiyina," he began warily. "You know that it could end up destroying her body and possibly killing everyone close by? Meaning… all the Chardirs?"
"We will be careful," Meiyina said. "I assure you that. We have been deliberating for a long time over this. We have decided to go through with it… it's worth a try."
"…Yeah. I know."
A medic brought in a large jar. He clasped it to his chest, gritting his teeth with the effort of keeping a secure grip on it. It rattled violently in his arms. Inside, Macavity could see several bolts of lightning sparking off the sides of the jar.
"Incredible," he murmured. "It's retained its potency after all this time."
"That is the way her magic works, it appears," Meiyina said, her eyes narrowing in intrigue. "You brought us only a small sample, but it is most powerful…very precious."
Deep inside him, a tingle of guilt flickered.
"Alright, are we ready?" one of the medics asked grimly.
"As ready as we will ever be," Meiyina said, her voice level. She stepped forward and hoisted the jar into her own arms. Macavity vaguely remembered that she had some training as a medic, and wondered just how skilled she was to be able to take charge like that.
"Wait… you're doing it now?" he asked.
"Better now than never," Meiyina shrugged, a strange smile coming over her face as she began to unscrew the lid of the jar.
"Meiyina, be careful," Macavity snapped.
She didn't appear to hear him. Her eyes became gleeful, all too excited as she began to unscrew faster and faster.
Macavity, realizing she was losing control of herself in the delight of the magic she held, lunged forward. He ripped the jar from her hands and lifted it high above his head. Meiyina's horrorstruck expression reminded him of a distant memory.
"Meiyina, I said be careful," he growled. "If you do that, all the magic will escape at once and kill us all. Didn't you…have a plan?"
Screeching, Meiyina threw herself at him, claws cutting through the air. Macavity dodged and glared at her. "Calm down," he ordered coldly, turning his eyes to full force. As he caught her in his web, she went limp. The watching medics let out sighs of awe.
"Are you going to be quiet?" he asked the almost comatose white queen. She nodded dumbly, and so he released her. She fell back, gasping, into the arms of one of the medics.
"Macavity…" she whispered.
Macavity set the jar down. It shook on the ground. "Yes, Meiyina?"
"Magic… it…" She could hardly speak. She grasped for words, her amber eyes dulled with exhaustion.
"You felt it, huh? This is dangerous stuff, this magic. Of course, all magic is dangerous…but maybe I should do it since it's affecting you this bad."
Meiyina nodded faintly. "It'll… kill… me… just like… it killed… Victoria…"
"I know, Mei," Macavity said softly. To the medics, he said, "Take care of her."
Then, he stepped up to Victoria's bed, jar held securely in his arms.
Victoria hunched over, shivering. Days must've passed while she'd been trapped in her 'frozen prison', but she still wasn't used to the cold. She never would get used to it. She shuddered at the thought that she was stuck there forever.
But she was, wasn't she? She was dead. It wasn't as if she had anywhere else to go. All that she'd been told about death and afterlife… it was a lie. There was no Heaviside Layer. There was no Everlasting Cat. When a cat died, they lived within their own heart for the rest of time.
Victoria let out a choked sob. She didn't want to.
To calm herself, she closed her eyes and imagined that Plato was holding her. She envisioned his glowing green eyes and let out a soft sigh. She was in bliss.
"But…I'll never see him again…" Victoria looked down at her paws helplessly. "Does he even care?"
The green eyes in her head began to change. They lightened in color. Plato had soft eyes, but they were turning a cold, harsh gold.
"Macavity…?"
Macavity put a hand on the lid of the jar and took a deep breath.
"Be careful," Meiyina whispered from where she was slumped against the wall. Macavity glanced over at her and smirked. He looked around at the group of medics standing around Victoria's body with expectant looks on their faces.
"Mm… I think…" Macavity closed his eyes. "I think that you should all leave the den. That way, if something goes wrong…"
The medics glanced around at each other doubtfully. "Will you be able to manage alone?" one asked.
"One can stay to direct me," Macavity suggested calmly.
"I shall stay." Everyone glanced over to Meiyina. She took in a shuddering breath and waved the other medics away. They went – though many seemed reluctant. When they were all gone, she looked across at Macavity and smiled sadly. "I wish to see my baby sister open her eyes and gaze at the world in wonder…"
"It'll be an amazing sight to be sure," Macavity agreed quietly. He helped Meiyina to her paws and she stood unsteadily at Victoria's side.
"Are we all ready?" she asked. "I am."
"Me, too," Macavity said.
Victoria smiled.
"Why am I even thinking about him?" Victoria wondered. "He… he took me away from the Jellicles and he's evil."
But her heart reminded her of the time just before she had died. He had stayed by her side, offering comfort through the feel of his mind against hers. He'd kept her company through it all. But why? Of all cats, why had he chosen to steal her? Her head hurt at the thought.
The golden eyes in her mind blinked at her. At that moment, thousands of memories rushed to the forefront of Victoria's mind. She clutched her head, gasping out. Macavity's voice in her head, Macavity wandering through the Junkyard alone, Macavity watching her from the shadows, Macavity standing over her as she faded into nothing, a very tall looking Macavity leaning down and whispering instructions in her ear, Macavity grinning gruesomely at Plato-
Victoria let out a wail. What did it all mean? The memories shuddered to a halt as soon as Plato appeared in them. Why did they hate each other so?
And why, just why was she bothering to think about Macavity when she was meant to be living out the rest of her existence with Plato's eyes in her mind?
"My, my… so this is where you're at. You coulda at least given me a clue before you went running off!"
Victoria's head snapped up. "Alyana…?" she whispered.
"Damn right. Here I am." Alyana gave a dramatic flourish of her hands as she tramped through the snow towards where Victoria crouched. "What're you doing in this miserable place?"
"I can't leave," Victoria mumbled.
"Why not?" Alyana quirked an eyebrow. "I mean, to my experience everyone else that dies either hangs out among the living – they aren't visible, of course – or goes to the Heaviside Layer. What makes you so special?"
"S-special?" Victoria hissed. "What's so special about being trapped in this fucking frozen world?"
"Ah, ah, I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean it that way." Alyana held up her hands soothingly. "Where is this, anyway? It was by chance luck that I managed to find you."
"…Plato told me, a long time ago, that this is my heart," Victoria sighed.
"What makes HIM so wise all of a sudden?" Alyana laughed.
"Shut up! Don't insult him! Not in front of me," Victoria snapped.
"Sheesh, someone's touchy," Alyana muttered. "And whatever made your heart such a damned miserable place?"
Victoria stayed silent. There was too much to even think of listing.
"Well, anyway, who's for trying to get outta here?" Alyana said brightly.
"It's impossible," Victoria said flatly. "I've tried a lot of things."
"Nothing's impossible," Alyana quipped cheerfully. "C'mon, everyone knows that."
"Well… a cat flying is impossible," Victoria said.
Alyana blinked, a thoughtful look coming into her eyes. "The Chardirs tell many tales," she said, her voice suddenly serious. "One of such is the tale of winged cats."
"What the hell are you on about?" Victoria asked, raising an eyebrow. "Chardirs? Winged cats?"
"Ah… you'll see, kitten. You'll see."
"I hate it when you do that." Victoria sighed and stood up. She swayed unsteadily – she'd spent a long time on the ground. "Well, if you're so sure, let's see if there's a way out."
Alyana smiled sweetly. "Darling, I think I've already chanced upon one."
"What happens if it goes wrong?" Macavity asked as he very gently began to unscrew the lid. The lightning flashed about within the jar – its constant movement reminded Macavity to take the utmost of care.
"We die or get severely injured and Victoria's body will be stolen away with the magic," Meiyina said. "But we must try."
"I know," Macavity said. The lid was almost off. His breathing quickening, Macavity lifted the lid just slightly.
All at once, the den was alit with flashes of lightning that flitted off the walls. Macavity slammed the lid back on and Meiyina squealed and ducked. Macavity flinched as lightning scorched his fur and threw himself to the floor. His eyes met Meiyina's and he realized that they were both completely terrified. The magic he'd just unleashed… it could kill them at a simple touch. It sparked above them, making Macavity think of a storm cloud.
"Macavity," Meiyina said. "What happens now?" Her voice was so shaky Macavity could barely make out what she was saying.
Macavity didn't need to answer, though. All of a sudden, a white cat rushed into the den and glanced around. "NO!" Meiyina yelled, seeing the lightning pelt towards the cat. But it had no effect. The magic flashed right through the cat and bounced off the opposite wall. She smiled.
"Worried for me now, are you, Mei?" she giggled. "I'm so flattered!"
Meiyina gasped in horror. "Macavity informed me that you were dead," she spat, eyes narrowing to slits of hate.
"And I suppose you were glad of the news, were you? What a caring sister I have," Alyana purred as she approached Victoria. The lightning flashed through her body over and over, never causing the slightest harm.
"To be honest, yes, I was… what are you doing?" For a split second, Meiyina forgot that there was dangerous magic flaring up above her. She rose up and assumed a protective pose in front of Victoria.
"Get down!" Alyana snapped, pushing Meiyina to the ground. She was too late, though. A blaze of lightning clipped Meiyina on the shoulder, making her gasp out and sink into a dead faint. Alyana glanced down at the unconscious cat. "What an idiot…"
"Alyana, what are you doing here?" Macavity asked, his voice flat.
"Have you forgotten already? I'm here for my little sister," Alyana said, stroking Victoria's cheek fondly. "Get up, Macavity. Are you daft? You are a cat of magic. Take the lightning from the air and direct it to Victoria's heart!" She blinked at him, warmth welling in her eyes. "I know you can do it," she whispered. "I know it's stupid, but… I trust you."
"You trust me? The cat who killed you? You're just as foolish as you were the day I met you," Macavity laughed. Slowly, carefully, he inched close to Victoria and took a deep breath.
"It's now or never," Alyana said. Meiyina's eyes blinked open.
Macavity let out a roar of pain as he lifted his paws and gathered the magic into them. He was a magic cat, so it couldn't destroy him, but it was almost too powerful for even him to handle. Cold sweat dripped down his spine and he clenched his jaw.
"Keep going, Macavity," Alyana urged.
Macavity made a low noise at the back of his throat and took the last of the magic into his paws. Shuddering with effort, he turned back to Victoria…
And let everything loose into her beautiful, smiling face.
"Alyana! Where are you…? Why did you leave me alone?" Victoria whirled about, shocked by her companion's sudden disappearance. Without warning the other white cat had just up and left. Shivering hopelessly, she sat down again.
"What're you doing, darling? Get up!"
Victoria gasped out as Alyana reappeared before her eyes and offered a paw. With only the slightest of hesitations, Victoria took hold of it. "Wh-?"
"I'm taking you home, Victoria," she said quietly. "I'm taking you home."