CHAPTER 26

AN IMMATURE IDEA

Meanwhile, while everyone else was having a crazy night a few of the Jedi had all congragated in one of the lounges full of over stuffed chairs and couches. In the very center of the room, on a coffe table, was a small powerful lamp that made the room look almost as bright as day. Ki-Adi-Mundi was the most bored out of all the Jedi in there and seemed to have been reading too many Seventeen Magazines (which he stole from Aalya Secura's room whom he randomly stalks) when he got an extreamly bad idea.

"Hey!" he exclaimed tossing the magazine aside and sitting straight up in his chair. "Let's rate each other's butts!"

Kit Fisto stared at him. "WHAT!"

"Let's rate each other's butts," he said again looking excited.

"No!" Kit said. "I will do nothing of the sort! What are you on? You weirdo?"

"Nothing, he said. "I just want to rate your butt."

"NO!"

"Then whose butt can I rate?" Ki-Adi-Mundi pouted then glanced over at Aayla Secura who glared at him. "Not a chance in Hell," she informed him promptly.

"But-"

"No!"

"But!"

"No!"

"But-"

"NO, AND STOP SAYING BUT!"

"Please," he begged. "I'll give you money."

The Twi'lek perked up. "Money?" she asked.

"Yes, money," the Jedi Master promised, holding up a huge wad of bills.

"Hey, where'd you get that?" Kit demanded.

Ki-Adi-Mundi just grinned. "I have my ways," he informed the other Jedi. He looked back at Aayla. "Well?"

"Okay," she said sighing. "I'll let you rate my butt."

"OH BOY!" the other Jedi exclaimed clapping his hands. "This is going to be fun!"

"For you maybe," Kit said glaring at the Jedi. That just happens to be my girlfriend, you pervert!

Aayla Secura stood up and walked over to Ki-Adi-Mundi, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "This is so stupid," she muttered. She turned her butt on the Jedi Master. "What do you rate it?"

He stared at it a moment then said. "Four."

She turned on him. "FOUR?" she demanded. "Is that all?"

"I thought you didn't care" Kit Fisto spoke up from his easy chair.

"I don't," she said then turned her butt on him. "But look at this don't you think it deserves better than I four?"

"It depends," Kit said looking away from the blue Twi'lek's rear.

"Depends on what?" she demanded.

"On what version of numbers he used," the Naoulatona explained. "1 to 10. or 1 to 5."

"Oh..." Aayla looked over at Ki-Adi-Mundi. "What were you using."

"1 to 5," he replied grinning.

The Twi'leks blue face turned bright red. "Oh..." she said back down. "Then that's different."

"Yup," he agreed.

"So where's my money?" she asked.

"Oh that," he tossed the wad of bills to her. "Here you go."

She caught the money and pocketed it. "Thank you," she said. "And don't ever make me do that again."

"Okay," he said standing up. "How about you rate mine now?"

Kit sputtered and Aayla gaped at the big headed Jedi. "WHAT!" they demanded in one voice.

"Rate my butt," he said turning his rear end on her.

"You've got to be kidding," Aayla said glaring at Ki-Adu-Mundi.

"No, I am not," he said dead serious.

Kit's green face started to turn white. He felt sick. "Oh boy...," he said putting his hand over his mouth. "I think I'm gonna-Hurk!"

Aayla looked over at Kit Fisto. "KIT!" she exclaimed staring at his white face. She glared at Ki-Adi-Mundi. "Now look what you've done!"

"Just give me a number already," he said.

"2!"

"2? why 2?" the Jedi Master demanded offended.

"Because of exass hair!" she shot back looking at Kit worriedly. "Oh boy..."

Merry, Borimor, Sam and Gimli appeared in the Jedi Temple right by the lounge door.

"Where are we now?" Merry asked looking around. "This place looks weird. Are we in some kind of tomb?"

"I don't think so," Borimor said also looking around. "It sure is dark in here, though..."

"I think I see a light," Gimli said looking in the direction of a half open door that was letting out a small sliver of yellow light. He started walking toward it. "I wonder who's here."

"Gimli, get back here!" Sam whispered urgently. "You don't know what's in there! There could be Orcs in there!"

"Hmmmm... Orcs...," the dwarf said opening the door part way to peek inside. "I can add to my record. That should show Legolas who is superior!"

"Are you still buming about Legolas eating more blueberry pies than you at the county fair?" Borimor asked annoyed. "You need to get a life, dude."

The dwarf glared back at the human. "I told you to never mention that incident again!" he growled.

"Sorry," Borimor said though he wasn't.

"Fine." The dwarf was satisfied. He turned back to the door opened it all the way and... SCREAMED HIS BLOODY HEAD OFF!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed falling back into Merry who had come up behind him to find out what he saw.

"WHAT?" Sam asked pulling out a little sword. "WHAT IS IT?"
"MONSTERS!" Gimli exclaimed brandishing his axe. "BIG MONSTERS!"

"Eh?" Borimor asked.

Gimli looked back at the door to make sure none was coming to find out who screamed before he said. "Aye, monsters, laddy. A green one, a blue one, and one with a big head."

The other three stared at him. "I think Gimli's been sipping the elven wine again," Sam said.
"I HAVE NOT!" Gimli shouted. "I WOULD NEVER DRINK THAT SWAMP WATER!"

"For someone who thinks it's swamp water you sure guzzle it down hard a parties," Borimor said.

The dwarf sputtered but said nothing else.

Merry, who was curious about what Gimli saw, peeked into the room and stared. His eyes grew wide and he let out his own scream. "WAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The other three stared at him. "WHAT?"

Merry pointed a shaking finger into the room. "Th... th... there," he stammered.

"Not Merry too," Borimor said slapping his forehead.

"No!" the Hobbit exclaimed. "I saw one! In there! Look for yourself!"

Borimor and Sam looked at each other and shrugged. "Better humor them," they said at once.

The two walked toward the door and and peeked inside.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they both screamed.

"Now do you believe me?" Gimli demanded.

The two skeptics had no choice.

"What should we do?" Merry asked biting his fingernails.

"I know what we can do," the dwarf replied brandishing his axe. "We'll cut em to ribbens!"

Sam and Borimor drew their swords.

"CHARGE!" Gimli shouted barging into the room.

Ki-Adi-Mundi, Aayla Secura, and Kit Fitso were just deciding to leave, since Kit wasn't sick anymore, when suddenly four weird creaters burst into the room.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Aayla screamed jumping into Kit's arms and knocking him over into the plush couch.

"OOF!" he exclaimed when he felt the weight of her butt smack into his stomach. "You're crushing my spleen!"

"WHAT ARE THEY?" Ki-Adi-Mundi asked staring at the weird creatures.

"STAND BACK, MONSTERS!" the short creature with the big beard the reached down to his ankles screamed. "PREPARE TO DIE!"
"Die?" Kit said looking at Aayla. "Die?" she said back.

"Look here," Ki-Adi-Mindi said taking a step forward. "I don't know who you are but..."

WACK!

A huge metal axe swung inches from his face. The Jedi Masyer jumped back. "HEY!" he exclaimed.

"Listen here servants, of Saron!" the tall human guy said brandishing a weird looking weapon. "We will not let you take the Ring from us!"

"Ring?" Aayla asked looking at them. "What ring?"

"You know what ring we are talking about," a slightly fat short human said walking forward. "And what have you done with the others?"

"Others?" the three Jedi said at once. "What others?"

Suddenly the short creature with the beard, who looked like he was out for blood, said., "Enough talk. Let's just cut off their heads and put them on poles."

"WHAT!"

The four weirdo's took a step toward the Jedi. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the screamed charging forward.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the Jedi screamed jumping onto the backs of the couches. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Legolas heard something withing the depths of the Temple and ground to a halt, grabbing Gandalf's arm in the process. "Wait!" he said listening. "Did you hear that?"

The wizard with the big hat looked at him. "No," he said. "Maybe it was just your imagination."

The elf considered then nodded. "I guess you're right."

A/N

I kinda got this idea after watching Navy NCIS. Don't ask because I don't remember the name of the episode. I hope you though it was funny anyway. I hope none got offended by Ki-Adi-Mundi's little butt rating idea. I consider him someone who would come up with the idea. :D