This cannot be real. Another update?

Once again, a little shorter. I'm starting to like having one scene for an entire chapter. Feels less choppy. We'll see how it progresses. Don't hate me for this. Also, no editing. Lo siento.

Chapter 25: Falling for you

Meredith was starting to feel bad. She was pawning her kids off on people all the time. Or maybe not all the time, but definitely more than she had ever done before. She couldn't remember a time when she let both of her kids stay over at other houses on the same night. Before, she never wanted to be alone at the house. Now, she and Will practically craved the time alone, even though he seemed to love being with the kids too. Michael had really taken a liking to Will and she think it had a lot to do with the ways in which Will reminded both of them of Derek. She generally tried not to think about similarities.

"Michael has quite a swing, you know," Will said as he came back into the living room, bringing with him a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"I don't know about that, he's always been a soccer player."

Will laughed, "I'm trying to convert him."

They moved the coffee table earlier, laying a blanket out in front of the fire that Will started. Meredith picked up some desert earlier and with the wine, this whole affair was becoming by far their most romantic night ever, even though it started with dinner with Addison, Robert, and Michael.

"I had no idea you were so into baseball."

"Really? You have a lot to learn, my dear," Will said as he poured the red wine. "I went to college on a baseball scholarship, University of Virginia."

"Wow. How did I not know that? Being a jock is usually pretty obvious," Meredith joked.

Will situated himself against the couch, pulling Meredith too him. They didn't even have to ask anymore. It was just natural and comfortable for them to cuddle together. Every time Meredith found something else that seemed perfect, it kind of freaked her out, but she wouldn't change it.

"Well I didn't just get there because of the sport. I was pretty smart, thank you very much. I did go to Harvard for medical school. I really went there for undergrad for reasons other than my education or baseball."

"Okay, now what was that?"

"A girl."

Meredith giggled, "Aw, that's so cute."

"Well I had already been with her for three years, I wasn't planning on disappearing."

Meredith noticed a slight shift in his tone. This was the sharing part. The sharing that went beyond your favorite color and more into the horrors of your childhood and every disappointment in your life. This scared her, but she needed to know these things. And so did Will. This is how you make relationships work.

She placed her hand on his that was already resting on his thigh. "What happened?"

Will sighed. "Long story short? She was my high school sweetheart. I thought I was going to marry her. I proposed junior year of college. She said yes and three months later was diagnosed with a brain tumor. They did surgery, removed it and it kept growing back." Will paused for a moment and slight smile graced his lips, "She wanted to wait until her hair grew back the way she liked it before the wedding. She said it didn't matter if I didn't care because she did. She didn't want to think of brain surgery every time she saw our wedding pictures."

"We were almost there by the time I graduated from med school. She was working off and on; her parents were really supporting us since I was trying to get through Harvard. I started my residency at Mass Gen and life started working out and we got serious about planning the wedding. She went for a check up and they found another tumor, this time inoperable. She died nine days after her twenty-eighth birthday."

Meredith felt frozen. She didn't know how to comfort him. What could she say? The woman that may very well have been the love of his life died from a brain tumor. No wonder he was a neurosurgeon, and a damn good one at that. She mumbled a sympathetic apology, but she knew it wasn't worth much. She couldn't imagine what he had dealt with.

"It's okay, Mer. This is why I don't talk about Heather. It freaks people out. I'm not looking to be comforted. I'm happy. It's almost like I have a bit of a guardian angel now. I know she wanted me to be happy. As morbid as it sounds, I found out after the funeral that before every surgery, she wrote me a letter and gave it to her parents. I got them all a couple of days after the service. She wanted me to move on. I didn't think I ever would and I didn't for a long time. I threw myself into my career, but now I'm starting to have a real life again."

Meredith smiled up at him and then gave him a quick kiss. They were both healing, in their own way. It was kind of perfect. "In the spirit of sharing, I think I should tell you about something."

Will squeezed her hand. "You don't have to. I didn't tell you about Heather to guilt you into telling me things. I just wanted you to know and I want you tell me things when you're ready, not out of obligation."

"No, I think…. I want to tell you. If anyone, you should know. I've never told anyone about this. I mean, no one other than the people that were there to witness it. So I don't know how this will go. I mean, I could freak out."

Will chuckled, "It's okay. You don't have to freak out. Stop whenever you need to."

She took a deep breath. "Okay. Well, I was pregnant soon after having Jackie. It was a surprise, but a good one. It just made life hectic between the jobs and already having Michael. Derek wanted me to work fewer hours and do less around the house, but I'm stubborn so I ignored him. One weekend we were supposed to be doing a bunch of house work, but Derek was stuck at work so I started doing everything by myself."

Will could feel her tensing with every word. She started talking faster, as if she needed to get it out of her system and the faster she did, the more cleansed she'd be of the memories. "I was doing laundry and something happened. I fell down the stairs and knocked myself out. All I remember is waking up in the hospital. Michael had to call the ambulance. Derek was in surgery. He didn't even know about it until I was heading to the OR."

Will's arm around Meredith had tightened, pulling her as close to his body as she possibly could be. Her arms were wrapped around him now too, in a sort of hug. She had yet to realize it, but tears were slowly falling down her face. She was surprised she'd gotten this far without taking a breath. It was all coming back to her. Both the memories she did have and the one's she'd created from the stories everyone told her about that day. And then she saw the aftermath. She could only imagine how horrible it must have been for Derek to come home to find his wife's blood all over their house, but she could still see it in her mind when she came home, even though he scrubbed it. The carpet by the stairs was just slightly discolored enough that she could tell how widespread the blood spill had been.

"I've never told any one this, but I one day found Michael's clothes from that day. Apparently they cleaned him up at the hospital and sent him home with the clothes while Izzie brought him something else to wear. Derek was too busy to think about them. When Michael finally came home, he threw the back in the back of his closet and left it there. I found them a couple of years later. It took me a moment to figure out why my son's ninja turtle shirt was soaked with blood. It had been his favorite, but my blood was all over the sleeves and the front. He must have kneeled by me because there was blood soaking the knees and lower leg of his jeans. I know what the kind of thing does to a kid. Seeing your Mom like that, thinking she's dead. It's not right to see that, but it seems to run in this family."

"Wait, what?"

"Crap."

Meredith didn't mean to go there. She was rambling. She didn't even realize where she was going or what she was about to say. This sharing thing was going a little too far. She already opened up to him about the worst thing she'd ever experience; she didn't have enough energy to begin on the train wreck that was Ellis Grey's parenting.

She sighed. "That's a story for another time. I just want to lie here, not think about Maggie and enojy this night."

"Maggie?"

"Yeah. That was her name. Margaret Caroline Shepherd. After Derek's mother. It was really proper, but we liked it."

Will nodded. That was enough sharing for one night. He could tell how much that took out of Meredith and it broke his heart. She had so much hurt in her life and he knew that there was so much he wasn't privy to yet. It amazed him that she was still hanging out, but actually doing so much more than just hanging on. She was thriving as a mother, a surgeon, and as a woman. He was incredibly lucky to have her in his life.

"You've told me how you haven't done this in a long time," Will started, receiving a curious look from Meredith. "For the record, you aren't the only one."

"You think Heather would think I'm good enough for you?"

Will smiled. "She would have loved you. She always wanted kids just like yours. I don't think she'd have me with anyone else."

"That's good. I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon."

She said it so flippantly, but that was a notion of commitment that she had never made before. They hadn't really discussed what they were doing too much; at least not in terms of how long it was going to last or what their labels were. They just kind of went with it. It seemed to be working out for them anyways.

"I think I'm going to sell this house."

"What? This is a gorgeous house."

Meredith shrugged. "It is, but it's Derek's. It's his land. He planned it out with an architect. It's his house. I guess I could see if he wants it since he's back in town. I just think I'm going to move out of it. I want a new start."

"I like that part of the idea." Will smiled, kissing her again, but her response wasn't as gentle as his initial kiss. She turned around to face him, continuing the kiss even longer. Will had been wanting this, especially since he knew they were going to have the house to themselves for the night, but after the way the conversation had turned, he figured that ship had sailed for the night. And he'd be fine with that, but then she kept kissing him and he realized that she was taking control and the mood was shifting quickly.

He let her lead him at first. He wanted to make sure she was completely okay with this before he started to do anything. Before he knew it, they were no longer against the couch, but lying on the floor completely. He flipped her over, pausing a moment to look at her in the eye. The sadness in her eyes from before had diminished and the Meredith he was beginning to fall for came back. She smiled at him, a genuine smile and it was an invitation.

I've been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you