Outtake #3 Never Squat with Your Spurs On

So... the Boys WON! In the Wordsmith Awards, Edward walked away with Best Edward (along with JA Mash's E from Fracture... they tied!) and the story got Best Non Canon...What can we say, but THANK YOU! You, the readers, have made this whole adventure so much more and we are sincerely humbled by this news. In that vein, we've decided to put together this little outtake to express our gratitude... and of course, ya'll, in one form or another, have asked for this.

Tracey asked: Do they have any 'scene' fantasies they plan to act out? If so, are any of us allowed to join in?

twi-hard-twilight-addict asked a couple that we're blending: Fantasy you've had of Jasper/Edward that they have made come to life and one you would love to make come to life. Kinkiest thing you've ever done and a kinky thing you want to do.

WitchyVampireGirl asked & suggested for the win: Hmm outtake- ohhh a role play? Ohh their version of Brokeback? Ohh Jasper in spurs riding Edward.. UNGH.. yea... *sighs*

Ya'll got yer spurs and giddy ups ready? Good, let's get 'er done!

P.S. This one is post honeymoon... pre piercing.

JPOV

We'd been back from Greece a little over a week and unfortunately, had barely been able to spend any time together. Emmett had made a disaster of the store... none of the receipts matched up, he had a dozen cases of tennis balls sat in the backroom and no packing slip for Edward to figure out how to send them back. Neither one of us had been able to figure out how the hell he'd ordered so many either.

And that was just the back office of the store.

The front, well, it looked like there had been a Black Friday sale and the place had been picked over something fierce... everything was a huge mess and it was taking Edward late into the night as he tried to clean the place back up.

Me, on the other hand, I'd been busy with trying to tie up loose ends. Working out my two week notice, which included training my replacement, getting some stocks sold off so I could buy into the business and be full partners with Edward... and the last two days... packing my apartment so I could move in with Edward... we were married after all... there was no way we were going to live in two different places.

Bottom line, by the time we had returned to his place each night we were dirty, sore and beat. Too tired to do much more than shower and get in bed to snuggle to sleep. I suppose after our three week fuck fest, taking a week off shouldn't have been so bad, but come on... this was us... we didn't like to wait!

My phone chirped with an incoming message. Don't be late... I can't wait another minute to take you for a ride loverboy! xoxo E

I grinned.

We had agreed that at 4:00 sharp, we were both walking away from whatever we were doing and that tonight was officially date night.

I read his message and glanced down at the items I was currently packing and started grinning wider... and hardening... as a brilliant idea came to mind.

Wouldn't miss it for the world... and I'm definitely looking forward to that ride! See ya soon. Love you, J

I sent the message as my hands stroked the smooth worn leather of the saddle I'd earned back in high school. Right next to it were my leather chaps, my snakeskin hat, and my riding boots... complete with spurs.

It was only 3:00, but I was calling it quits for the day.

I had a scene to set up.

EPOV

Must not kill Emmett. Must not kill Emmett. I had a honeymoon because of Emmett. Must not kill him.

This mantra was on repeat in my head as I dealt with the mess my precious store had become. If I didn't know better, I'd think he'd let two dozen five year old pervs loose in here and not made them clean up before they went home.

I was in the middle of putting the breast play area, you know... clamps, bands, pasties, that kind of thing, back together when the store phone rang and I spun to jog over to answer it. Halfway there, I hit a slick spot on the floor and was pretty sure I looked like some reject from an Adam Sandler movie as my arms flailed in circles while I fought to keep my balance and still move forward.

"The Lion's Den," I panted into the receiver having barely reached the counter still upright. Ten minutes later I got off the call. Something had finally gone right. The people at Wilson just happened to call to make sure the order of tennis balls had arrived on time and were satisfactory. I quickly explained how my assistant had mis-ordered while I was on vacation and while I was sure they were great balls, I couldn't sell them in a sex toy shop. The lady had been a bit flustered and before she could get going, I cut her off saying that he thought he was ordering ben wa balls.

Within two minutes the order was cancelled and a pick up arranged for Monday morning.

I went to the back to grab the cleaning supplies and headed back to where I'd slipped. I found the nearly empty bottle of lube under the shelf edge, its top broken. I just shook my head as I pulled out my phone and shot a text off to my man. If I didn't get some relief with him soon, I was going to kill Emmett.

JPOV

I knew we were supposed to go to dinner and work our way into the physical part of our 'date,' but I had a hunch that with what I had planned, Edward would have no problems holding off on the food. Experience had taught me that if I'd tried to have it going when he got home, it would've just ended up burnt anyways. So I did the next best thing.

I'd swung by the party store on the way home and picked up some cheap cowboy decorations and had transformed the combined kitchen and dining area into a saloon of sorts. I had a basket of peanuts on the counter and a beer poured into an ice cold mug, complete with a frothy top when I hit play on the iPod and ducked behind the counter to wait for him.

He was due here any minute.

The sounds of Big and Rich were filling the small space when the door opened and a very bedraggled looking Edward walked in. At first he seemed confused as his eyes roamed over the cheesy decorations, until they got to me. He straightened up, licked his lips and as his eyes darkened, he moved forward.

I knew from where he was standing, he could only see that I was shirtless and in my cowboy hat. I couldn't wait for him to see the rest of the outfit.

"Howdy pardner! You look a might weary tonight, how about a tall cold one?" I drawled out at him, fighting not to laugh at how ridiculous I sounded, as I nodded my head towards the beer.

The corner of his mouth twitched as he stepped up to the bar and lifted the mug. He tilted it back and drained about a third of it before lowering it back to the counter and very seductively licked the foam from his upper lip. Yeah, my little cowboy wasn't so little after that stunt.

"Thankya kindly," he drawled back in an accent even worse than mine. At least he was willing to play along!

"Fancy a finger or two," his eyebrows shot up and I laughed, "of whiskey?" I finished.

"Two fingers please," he replied saucily with a wink.

I nodded once and turned around. I stepped away from the counter, towards the booze cabinet and knew by the sharp hiss of his inhale when he spotted the rest of the costume. Or should I say the lack of the rest of the costume. All I had on were the chaps and the boots, so he was getting a good view of my ass and as soon as I turned back around, which I did with the Crown in my hand, he got a great view of my dick, standing proud and tall.

The handful of peanuts he was about to pop into his mouth, clattered to the countertop as his mouth dropped open. "Fuck."

I put the Crown down. "You got it cowboy," I crooned and began a bow legged swagger out and around the counter. My dick bobbed against my stomach as I moved. My spurs made a rhythmic, almost tinkle sound with each step.

Once I was stood in front of him, we stayed there, frozen as he looked me up and down and then dropped to his knees. He looked up at me, smiling as he whispered 'so god damn sexy' and then took me in.

It had only been days, but it'd felt like months. My dick had missed this... so much. Because of that, I let him lavish me with his talented tongue, groaning when he ran his tongue piercing along the underside of my dick with just enough pressure for it to be tortuous bliss, for a few minutes. As much as I liked him sucking me off, his mouth was not where I wanted to cum tonight. Oh no, I had bigger plans for my cowboy.

EPOV

The sight of him in his chaps, just, no words. The smooth leather framing his engorged cock, shaping around his sexy ass... had me ready to blow in my jeans. Then he'd started that damn swagger and I'd heard the spurs.

It took me so long to get on my knees in front of him because he was just fucking gorgeous and I'd briefly had trouble believing that he was really mine, that this wasn't some kind of demented pornographic dream I was having.

He had just showered, I could tell by the clean scent of him, so I had to work my tongue under and around his balls to really taste him. I couldn't believe he had done this. I couldn't have loved him more for doing it. As I worked him over and his breathing picked up, his natural scent flowed stronger and I began sucking him in earnest, taking him down until my nose was buried in his neatly trimmed stubble. I wanted him to fuck my mouth, ride my face... feed me his seed.

But he pulled out, the loud pop sounding like a BB gun, and took a step back away from me, shaking his head. I would've pouted if the smile on his face and the sparkle in his blue eyes hadn't been so... naughty.

He crooked his finger at me and made a clicking sound. It took me a minute, but I realized it was a sound you'd make at a horse. I playfully neighed back at him and he laughed.

"That's a good boy, Mr. Ed, you want some sugar, you wanna a treat, boy?" he said and I nodded and shook my head, neighing again. Hell, I'd always thought I was hung like a horse... why not play the part?

I dropped to my hands and knees and 'trotted' over to him. He rubbed and petted my hair, his nails digging into my scalp feeling delicious as he twisted his hips slowly side to side, letting his leaking dick bop off my cheeks until I caught him and sucked him down again.

He grunted and pumped in and out of my mouth a few times while I fought to undo my jeans and get out of them. Kind of a feat to accomplish with your mouth full. I didn't release him until I needed to get my shirt off and that time he moved away, telling me to get up on the ottoman while he grabbed a couple of things.

I climbed up excitedly, knowing that this put me at just the right height for a good ass reaming. I stretched my back and wiggled my rear until he came back. Whatever he'd brought, he set down behind me so I couldn't see. I barked out a laugh when he came around the front with a pair of blinders in his hand.

"What the hell are you doing with those?" I asked. He just shot me a crooked smile and replied, "Making you a horse."

This was weirder than anything I'd ever done... and trust me, I'd done some weird shit in my time. But I could care less... we were laughing, we were having fun and most of all of we were just letting go with each other.

He slipped the blinders on my head, much to both of our amusement. My laughing stopped though, when his tongue suddenly pushed into my ass. My man could rim like no other and for the next ten, fifteen minutes, he did just that. He licked, he sucked, and he pumped his tongue in and out. He swirled it in and around, his teeth nipped at the sensitive flesh around my opening... all while I whimpered and groaned and begged for more... by neighing of course.

JPOV

I loved how into this he was getting. I'd fantasized a time or two about doing some kind of role play with him, knowing he'd be up for anything, but nothing had ever come to mind until I'd find my old 4H stuff. Damn if he wasn't playing along perfectly.

I wrapped up my rim job and popped open the lube to take him to the next level... I couldn't wait much longer. Where I normally would've enjoyed stretching him with my fingers, feeling his body relax and open to me, prepare for my dick to fill him, I wanted to move this along.

I drizzled a generous amount of the lube on his ass, rubbing it in before I grabbed a large butt plug, greased it up and pushed it in him. It would just be for a few minutes while I got everything else situated. He moaned softly and arched his ass up towards me so I playfully smacked him which made him jerk and groan.

I grabbed the next toy, our 'Anal Invader' and moved back in front of him so he could watch me put it on... so he would know what I was enduring while I made love to him. He eyed me hungrily as I lubed up my own cock and slid the latex caging down my shaft. When it was time for the vibrating plug part of the toy to go in, I turned around and bent over in front of him, handing him the lube and the plug. Moments later it was sitting snugly inside me. He turned it on and I shivered from the feeling.

I started to squat down so I could kiss him and flew back up with a shriek. Never squat with your spurs on! It hurts!

Once we stopped laughing and he'd kissed the two red spots I now had on my backside, I went to add the last bit of my surprise.

He tried to turn his head and look when I laid the small blanket over his back, but because of the blinders, he couldn't see. "What the fuck?" he said with a nervous laugh as he felt the weight of the saddle on his back.

I popped him again and replied, "I told you I was making you a horse!" I wasn't actually going to sit IN the saddle of course, I just wanted to see how it looked. It was surprisingly hot.

I leaned forward and kissed his shoulder as I wrapped my arms under his waist to do up the straps. Once the saddle was secure, I took my position behind him. I pulled the plug out and quickly replaced it with my dick... both of us crying out at the sensation. Though I think he whinnied.

It took me a second to get my breath back, but as his ass started clenching and gripping at me, I began sliding in and out of him. I steadied myself by grabbing the back curve of the saddle with my right hand as my left hand went under him to stroke him. It was a bit awkward and was hindering how much I could move, so I pulled him to his knees and instructed him to stroke himself as I gripped the saddle with both hands. Holding on like this, I was able to take long deep strokes in and out of his tight passage.

He was snorting, neighing and whinnying... fully playing his part. I think I even heard him mumbling the Mr. Ed song as he fought his orgasm.

Big and Rich were singing about saving a horse and riding a cowboy... check.

And I was yelling 'Yeehaw, ride 'em cowboy' as I rode Edward for all I was worth.

He came a few minutes before me, his now sticky free hands coming behind him to hold my thighs as he pushed back into me, grinding against me until I couldn't hold back any longer and I filled his ass in long ropey spurts.

We were both sweaty and panting and still connected when the front door flew open and Emmett barged in yelling, "I'm pregnant!"

"Emmett!" we both screamed at the same time. "Gonna kill you!" I shouted as Edward's hand snapped out and grabbed a tennis ball that happened to be on the couch next to us. With uncanny precision he launched it at Emmett's head as he hollered, "Get the fuck out!"

Emmett dodged the ball and started laughing. "That's the kinkiest shit I've seen... go bro! We'll talk later," he called out as he ran back out the door, slamming it behind him.

A/N: Well now... you never know WHEN that silly Emmett is going to show up! LOL. Hope ya'll enjoyed... and for those of you that donated to Fandom4Autism, the compilations went out yesterday and we REALLY hope you're enjoying the start of their honeymoon! Till next time... thanks so much!

texasbella and TrueEnglishRose