Bloody hell, it hurt being dead. Madeline groaned, feeling as though flames licked her back as she moved. Uh oh…

Her eyes flew open and she took a deep, steadying breath as she registered that she was in the hotel room and not burning in hell. She tried to sit up, but the pain was too much and tears sprang quickly to her eyes. Well okay, maybe it was a version of hell…

"Oh good," a voice startled her and she lashed out without thinking, punching a face she realized a split second too late was Gabriel's.

"Ow!" Gabriel yelped, holding his nose. Madeline struggled into a sitting position, guilt tugging on her heart as she tried to help Gabriel.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I thought you were someone else!"

Gabriel groaned, tipping his head back. "Who else could it have been?"

"I don't know," Madeline said sheepishly, handing him a tissue. "It was a reflex."

"Is that your default setting?" Gabe asked, giving her an annoyed look over top of the tissue. "Do you just punch people in the face willy-nilly?"

It took Madeline a moment to realize he was teasing. Tucking back a smile, she replied, "Should've smacked you harder."

Shifting her position, a pained gasp whooshed involuntarily out of her before she could stop it. In an instant, Gabriel was at her side, helping her to lie back down, his brows knit with worry.

"Okay, easy," he murmured soothingly, helping her down onto the bed. "I found you an ice pack and some painkillers if you want them."

Madeline nodded, squeezing her eyes shut so she wouldn't cry. "Yes, please."

Gabe got up and filled a glass of water from the pitcher on the table and shook two pills into his palm before coming back over to the bed. The moment the ice touched her skin was sweet, sweet relief and Madeline gave a little sigh before swallowing the pills.

"That's better," she mumbled, trying to ignore the dull throbbing in her back. It was better than the searing pain anyway. "Thanks."

"Are you okay?" Gabe asked, smoothing her hair gently once before seeming to hold himself back. He grimaced and sat across from her so she didn't have to crane her neck.

"I've been better," Madeline replied. "I could really go for a stiff drink right about now."

Gabe laughed, shaking his head. "Not on those painkillers you won't. I'll owe you one when you get better."

"Damn," Madeline's lips twitched. "Can't blame a girl for trying, I guess."

She looked up at Gabriel for a long moment, memorizing every line of his face. She loved him so much, her heart felt as though it might burst. Gently, she brushed her fingers along his bruised hairline.

"I really need to teach you how to throw a decent punch. Or at least block one."

At that moment, she noticed a large bucket of Jolly Ranchers in a sunlit corner of the room where both kwamis snoozed soundly.

"Where did that bucket come from?"

"I had a craving last night," Gabe grinned sheepishly, running his hand over the back of his neck. With a chuckle, he looked down at his hands, studying them for so long, Madeline had to wonder what he found so interesting. Madeline slid one of her hands in his and gave it a squeeze to bring him out of his thoughts. When he looked at her again, she read the truth in his eyes.

"So, I'm guessing you know my secret now," she surmised with a wan smile. "Since I'm sitting here bandaged up with painkillers, I'm assuming you got me some help."

Swallowing hard, Gabriel nodded. "I-I...no one else knows you're Night Wing. The only other person is where he can't hurt you anymore."

Madeline stared at him. Whatever happened was a blur to her. First the pain and then Gabriel had used his powers on her, she didn't remember much of anything. Her stomach knotted unpleasantly, but she wasn't sure why.

"What happened to La Panthère?" she asked softly, something inside her dreading the answer. Gabe looked at her with sorrowful eyes.

"It all happened so fast," he said quietly. "If I hadn't told you to turn around, he would have killed you."

A flash of memory burst through Madeline's mind. The knife...La Panthère's vacant eyes...

"I killed him," Madeline's voice came out strangled. "I-I killed him?"

"I-I'm sorry," Gabe mumbled. "This whole thing is my fault. I didn't want him to kill you and I didn't know what else to do."

Madeline felt her whole world tip on its axis. She had killed someone. No, she had killed someone under the influence of Hawk Moth's powers. Somehow, that made it worse. She wasn't sure what would have happened otherwise, but she knew the choice hadn't been hers to make the moment that blade had pierced La Panthère's stomach.

Hot tears trickled down her cheeks and Madeline buried her face in her pillow, letting sobs wrack her body. She didn't know how to feel, how to be, with this knowledge inside her. It hurt knowing that Gabriel had forced her to do that, even though he had been protecting her. She killed him. Madeline couldn't believe it. She was still in shock from it all.

"Madeline…" Gabe began slowly, uncertainly touching her heaving shoulder, but Madeline shrugged him off, biting her lip to fend off the pain.

"Just go away," she sobbed. "Just go away. I need to be alone right now."

She didn't hear Gabe get up but she heard the door shut behind him. She let herself go completely as soon as she knew he was gone, crying until the painkillers pulled her under and sleep claimed her.

Madeline woke in the middle of the night with a start. She was frightened and completely alone, even Duusu was gone. Where was she? Madeline shivered as the weight of her memories crashed into her again. She felt awful, not just physically, everything felt wrong. Something black and ugly had twisted itself up inside her and she couldn't get it out. If she was honest, she was afraid to even get close enough to examine it. All she knew was that she hurt and that guilt for killing someone, even La Panthère, ate at her. Her heart pinched painfully as the pain of what she had done threatened to overwhelm her. She could never take that back. But would she, even if she could? It was all such a mess, she couldn't sort through it right now. Turning on the lights, she curled herself into a ball on the bed and hugged her knees, resting her head against her legs. She needed someone to talk to. No, she needed Gabe. But she was so afraid, afraid of the unforgivable thing she had done. Afraid of the power that had made her do it.

Madeline wasn't sure how long she sat like that until finally she decided to get up and try to find Gabriel. She had no idea where she was going, but maybe the desk clerk would be able to tell her.

Wincing as she pulled on her bathrobe, she slipped her room key into her pocket and started down the long hallway alone.