Previously…
"Your new guardian, the new head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, is right by your side: Lord Draco Lucius Malfoy-Black," Mr. Wingston said.
". . ." Heley was frozen from head to toe.
What?
No.
Draco Malfoy?
How come?
He, her new guardian?
And for three years?
WHAT DA-#$ %?¤¶ O ¢£~&^%*&! ?
'YIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!' Heley silently screamed.
Fallen & Risen 26. Missing embrace
'YIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!' Heley silently screamed, but her face was perfectly blank. No one could guess what she was thinking. She seemed to take the news very well. She was quiet and calm.
'Too quiet and too calm to be normal,' Draco thought. He had felt her freeze immediately after the announcement of him being her new guardian. He must do something about it. Draco stood up and spoke to his mother and to Mr. Wingston.
"Mother, Mr. Wingston, please excuse us for a moment," Draco said. He turned to Heley, took her hand and pulled her off her chair. "Come with me, Heley."
Draco dragged her through the door leading into the adjacent room. In (great) shock, Heley let herself be led away, dazed. Draco closed the door behind them and, with a flick of his wand, opened the window. The cold wind of the winter night rushed in the room, evacuating the congestion in Heley's head. Oxygen began circulating again in her brain, and she slowly regained her senses.
Heley closed her eyes and took in a deep breath of the fresh air. Then, she opened her eyes again to meet with Draco's grey orbs, which were (worriedly) fixing at her. She closed her eyes again, thinking it was only an illusion, as well as everything that had happened in the past few minutes. Then, she opened her eyes once again. Draco's grey orbs were still fixing at her.
'Damn it!' she inwardly cursed.
It wasn't an illusion. Draco Malfoy was still standing in front of her. So, probably (and unluckily), what happened a few minutes ago wasn't a dream either.
'Great Merlin, why do you hate me so much?'
Her life-long nemesis was now her g-u-a-r-d-i-a-n (she refused to say the word, so she spelled it instead. She refused to recognize the meaning behind that word). And for three years! She thought that after kicking He-Baldy-Head-Who-Had-No-Nose's arse, she would be granted some well-deserved happiness and freedom. But no, she was doomed to fall under the tutorship of Dragon-Dung-Malfurnish-Mashmallowfry!
Heley glared at Draco. Hard. A thousand furious insults rushed up in her head. However, because there were too many of them, they resulted in a congestion in her throat, constricting her vocal cords at the same time. Not a single word could make its way up to her tongue, thus not one word of her anger was able to cross her lips. Heley found another way to express her rage. Her eyes burned in fire and she raised her hand up to Draco's face.
SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!
Draco gasped, unable to think nor do anything. The fury in her slap echoed in his head louder than the pain burning his cheek, freezing a large portion of his brain. Draco couldn't tell if he was surprised by being slapped, or if it was because the always calm Heley had just snapped. Before he could open his mouth to ask her for an explanation for this brutalization of his being, Heley cut him off.
"HOW DID IT TURN OUT LIKE THIS?" she yelled. Taking the opportunity of his surprise, Draco's bruised, old, egoistic ego snapped at her before his more mature self could hold it back.
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS-…!" Draco immediately shut up when he saw tears twinkling in her eyes, his more mature ego went back in control. He blinked, thinking he was must delirious because the slap had shaken up his brain. He was soon prove to be wrong. A tear rolled down Heley's cheek. Heley bite her lips to suffocate her cry.
"Mmmmnnnmph…" She used her two hands to muffle herself.
"He-Heley…" Draco stuttered.
Following the tear, a torrent pour down Heley's face. "Hmmmmmmph…" Heley trembled, failing to stiff her whimpers or stop the flood from her eyes.
After eighteen years carrying a burden of a prophecy, after crossing paths with death countless times, after living through sorrow after sorrow, after enduring pain after pain from losing the people dear to her... After all of that, she finally earned her freedom - freedom to live her life in her own way. But nooooo, her freedom was soon taken away from her control. Again!
Couldn't Merlin and the deities up there have a little bit of pity for her miserable life, even if it was just a teeny tiny amount? Were all the gods, deities, and magical beings so bored out of their minds that they must entertain themselves with turning her life upside down – with making it into a comedy drama show? Why bestowing this &#A¤!$?¶ predicament upon her? Why? For what reason? Not that she asked for any explanation, because she doubted she would understand their reason, but could they just spare her a little bit? Was this the price she had to pay for wanting to have a new life? What kind of game were they playing with her? What was this a masquerade? Or was this a punishment? Or it was a…
Heley collapsed on the floor. And broke.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Heley cried, her face flushing red. She, who didn't allow pain to dominate her mind under Voldemort's Cruciatus spells; she, who didn't shed a tear when she was hit by the Dark Lord's killing curse; she, who didn't allow her own grief to be prejudiced against the Malfoy family at their Wizengamot trial; she, who had always been the courageous hero(ine) until her disguise laid in a coffin; she, who wasn't scared to start from scratch and built herself a new life... She now broke.
This time, the situation was beyond her control. She broke because her less-than-six-months of freedom in all her eighteen years had been snatched away from her hands. More tears poured out her eyes. She forced her mouth to shut and not let out any sound, but it resulted in her hiccuping.
"Hic… Hic… Mnnnmp… Hic…"
Draco watched the crying girl at his feet, feeling her pain, even under his skin. But he didn't understand anything. He didn't understand why she was reacting so badly to the news of him being her new tutor? He knew the news must have been a shock for her - it was for him too when he learn about it few days ago - but he didn't think it would make her cry.
However, he could tell by the river of tears flowing out of her eyes, that she mustn't have had many opportunities to cry in her life. It was like years and years of suffering had accumulated tons and tons of tears inside her, but she couldn't free them because of various circumstances. Or was it because her life circumstances didn't allow her to pour out her pain? Whatever her life story was, Heley Potter must have bottled up a lot of tears inside her heart. The flood of tears had just patiently waited for an opportunity to be released. And tonight, the awaited opportunity had finally showed up.
Draco felt her sadness coursing through his heart. Her moans and whimpers were heart-rending to hear. Though he didn't know what kind of life Heley Potter lived before she transferred to Hogwarts, even he, a once cold-hearted person could tell that the girl needed to cry out her grief and pain, which had been locked inside her for too long. Her previous life didn't allow her to work through her sadness, but he was the last straw – the final blow.
"Heley…" Draco softly whispered her name. Heley didn't hear him. She was deaf to his words. The mass of tears in her heart had build up a thick wall around her, cutting her off from everything around her.
Slowly, very slowly, Draco kneeled down in front of her and gathered in her in his arms. By instinct, Heley jerked to push him away, but he hold her tight, forcing her to bury her head against his broad chest. Prisoner in his arms, she froze. But slowly, feeling his warm embrace making its way under her skin, Heley realized how much she missed being held in someone arms. She realized how badly she missed Sirius and Remus. She realized that she still hadn't forgiven Sirius' and Remus' early departure.
When Remus was still around, she was willing to forgive (a little bit) Sirius for leaving her. But when Remus left too, Heley was furious with her godfather and with her werewolf ex-DADA teacher too. Even if Ron, Hermione, and Neville were always there for her, they weren't Sirius and Remus. Heley realized how much she missed her surrogate parents' warm arms around her shoulders. She missed, she wanted, she needed her old guardians' comfort.
New tears formed in her eyes as she cried harder. Sirius left. Okay. She had to cope with that. Not that she had a choice. Then, Remus left too. Again, she didn't have a choice but to cope with that. Over the summer, she had slowly learned to accept the fact that she won't see them again. She had learned to accept seeing Sirius' armchair and Remus' rocking chair near the chimney, devoid of their presence. She had learn to accept the loneliness they left behind.
But now… Now… NOW! That that Dracocorico Malodorant-Frog took Sirius' place as her warden…
No.
No.
NO.
NOOOOOOOOO!
No, she wasn't going to cope with that!
In fact, she resented it. She hated it! She despised it from the very abysmal bottom of her heart! This maledictory foible of a man just took Sirius' place as her guardian without asking her permission - without asking to hear her opinion either! And she hated it even more because it was this foppish person who was giving her what she missed so much.
A hug. A warm hug. A loving hug that only Sirius knew how to give her. The picture of Sirius' fatherly smile flashed in her head. Heley shut her eyes, just so she could watch his image a little bit longer.
'Sirius…' More tears escaped out through her eye lids.
"You're not him… You're not him…" Heley whimpered. "You're not him… How dare you take his place? How dare you steal his place? You're not him… Bouhou-…Omph!" Heley grieved, this time snuggling into Draco's chest.
Then, Draco understood. He knew who Heley was talking about. Draco tightened his arms around her, not caring that she was wetting his pristine tailor gala suit. He whispered soothing words to comfort her.
"Cry… Cry everything you need to cry… It will be all right… It will be all right…" he repeated like a litany.
Heley finally freed the tears that she hadn't discharged at Sirius' little funeral.
"Sirius… Sirius… I miss you… Ommmmmp… I miss you Sirius… I miss you…"
Draco understood now why the news of him being her new guardian was so hard for Heley to hear. By becoming the new Lord Black, Draco just stole the name of someone who was very dear to her. Draco had been happy when he learned that he was the new head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. But now…
Now, he wasn't proud of himself for committing this shameful crime - for reminding Heley of the loss of her godfather. The only thing he could do for her was giving her what his older cousin couldn't give to his ward anymore: the missing embraced she longed to feel again. Draco tight his arms around Heley's shoulders, holding her closer to him. He let her empty the remaining sadness in her heart on him.
Updated on Wednesday August 4, 2010. Beta-ed by ElusiveTruth.