Well, bbz, thanks to you wonderful and incredible creatures, Encore broke 700 reviews last chapter! Thanks so much! I'm thrilled about this and I've been working extremely hard this week on upcoming chapters. I am blessed to have each and every one of you, and a really do appreciate your kind words and undying love (even when I'm cockblocking you). Every review makes me smile, and I do respond to them all, even on days other than Reviewer Appreciation Day.

Also, the lucky person who had a chance to see Chapter 26 before everyone else was my girl Leanne. She was review #700. Whoever posts lucky #800 will also have the same opportunity--to see the next chapter before anyone else.

Before I bore you to tears and totally alienate you all, I need to send big chocolate bunny love to Katmom (sorry for not warning you about the contents of chapter 28!), and Minnakoda, who is always so good about telling me when I suck and when things work and spending hours e-mailing chapters back and forth with me until I get it right (or at least better than sucking).

Tissues might be something you want to keep nearby. I'm not saying you'll need them for sure, but you know, just in case.

I'm dedicating this chapter to my Ninja Pirate H00rs.

Edward

Mom was right, I was exhausted. I think Bella could feel it, so we walked to her room where we both flopped on the bed. Bella crawled up so she was lying in her favourite spot, on top of me, and I wrapped my arms around her.

"So, you gonna tell me what happened today?"

She placed several open-mouthed kisses on my neck and collarbones. "No."

"Why not?"

"Don't wanna."

I groaned as she ground herself into me. "Bella, I'm too tired. Please, just talk to me."

She sighed and stilled against me. "What do you want me to say? I had a bad day. Tomorrow will be better. I just overdid it on the weekend; I can't party like I used to." Her head tilted and she stared at me. "But that doesn't mean you get to baby me, got it? Shit happens and I did this to myself."

My fingers gently massaged her back as I ran several lines of further questioning through my head before settling on the most important one. I had a feeling she would deflect it or blow it off. "Did you have a seizure last night?"

Her response was a non-committal shrug.

"Bella?"

The response this time was at least vocal, but muffled. "Maybe, I don't know. Does it matter?"

"It matters if you've had two seizures so close together. You might want to let your doctor know."

"Mm…" she groaned, nuzzling further into my chest.

"Bella?"

"Sleep, Edward."

Moments later she was fast asleep. As exhausted as I was, I just couldn't turn off my brain as I listened to her breathing and felt her heart beating against my chest. Memories of another time when I sat and listened to her rhythmic breathing and heartbeat invaded my thoughts as I was transported back to the ICU of the hospital in Seattle.

Bella lay motionless in the bed, amid a maze of tangled wires and tubes. Her limbs splayed and splinted, her head covered in bandages, tubes coming from the top. Her eyes were purple and swollen shut, her nose taped to help it mend. There were rows of tiny sutures on her forehead and her neck and her cheeks were bruised and puffy. A breathing tube was her umbilical cord while she was in suspended animation. Her poor lips were enlarged and cracked from the dry hospital air.

I was afraid to touch her, terrified of inflicting further pain or injury upon her. The times that I did break down and take her hand in mine, her heart rate increased and it scared me.

Mostly, I sat there and cried. How could my Bella be this lifeless body before me when we'd been joking and laughing not days before? How could I handle losing my child and my soul mate at the same time? The answer was simple.

I couldn't.

I tried, but failed miserably.

"Edward, sweetie," Mom said as she touched Bella's cheek. "Talk to her, tell her to come back to you, tell her you love her."

"But Mom, she can't hear me," I whispered, "that's not Bella. I don't know who it is, but it's not her. I can't talk to a stranger."

"Sweetie, this IS Bella, whether you choose to believe it or not. She needs you. Help her."

I stood up. "I can't help her, Mom, just like I can't help Emma. They're gone. It's just a matter of time before we're burying Bella beside her. Why bother?"

I hadn't realized that I was yelling until my Mom rushed over to me and led me out of the room and down to the chapel. We sat down and I smashed my head with my hands as I spoke. "I can't do this! I can't! Mom, I'm falling apart, I feel like I'm suffocating. It's like a horrible nightmare and I can't wake up. I don't know what to do!" Mom held me when I broke down and sobbed, and soon we were crying together in the dark room lit only by a small lamp on the altar and several rows of prayer candles off to the side.

"We have to be strong for her, Edward. I know you're hurting, but it's time to think about Bella. You know as well as I do that she's the toughest girl there is and she won't give up. We can't give up on her. If that were you up there in that bed, she'd be by your side 24/7, talking to you, loving you, just being there for you. Can you find it within yourself to do the same for her? She's going to need us when she wakes up. Can you be strong for her?"

I shook my head. "I don't think I can."

"Please, Edward, find it inside your heart to be her lifeline. Go to her, sweetie, tell her you love her."

She looked at me with such high expectations that something in me snapped. I knew at that moment that I had to leave. Tanya had been right; there was no point in sitting with a corpse.

"Okay, Mom. I'll go talk to her."

"Let's light a candle for her before we go."

Mom stood and led me to the rows of votive prayer candles on the ledge. She lit one and paused for a moment, her lips moving silently as she prayed for a miracle.

When it was my turn, I prayed for forgiveness for what I was about to do.

I kissed my mom goodbye and told her I wanted some time alone with Bella, to talk. She smiled, told me she loved me, and patted my cheek sweetly.

"I love you too, Mom. I'm sorry."

I went upstairs, said my goodbye to Bella by singing to her and left. It was the second hardest thing I had ever done.

"Edward?"

"Mm…Bella? Wha…?"

"I have to get up and go to class. You can stay here and sleep if you want, but I can't miss two days in a row."

"Mm…" I groaned, stretching. "What time is it?"

"Six-thirty. I'm going to take a shower; I'll leave the door open in case you have to pee."

I watched as Bella steadied herself on the edge of the bed, then she slowly took several hesitant steps. It took everything in me not to rush to her aid, but she had made it clear that she would ask for help if she needed it.

Listening anxiously until I heard the toilet flush and I knew for sure that she'd made it into the room safely, I exhaled. She would be the death of me, what with her stubbornness. When I heard the shower turn on, I got out of bed and walked quietly to the bathroom.

The vision of beauty that greeted me knocked the air out of my lungs and made my morning wood feel more like a petrified log.

Do I dare?

I stripped out of my jeans and t-shirt and stepped closer to the shower stall. Bella gasped when she saw me, then smiled playfully. "Feeling dirty?"

"Not yet, but I plan to, if that's okay with you?"

I stepped into the shower before she could respond and kissed her pouty mouth. Her hands slid up my wet torso and into my hair as I nipped at her bottom lip.

Her right leg lifted and wrapped around my thigh. I could feel her heat on me and I couldn't hold back; I lifted her other leg, hitched it up around me, and reached down to situate myself. All it would take is one slight shift of my hips and I would be fully sheathed inside her, where I longed to be.

"Please," she whimpered.

"As you wish, Buttercup." I groaned as I thrust into her.

It was frantic and fast, just like early weekday morning sex should be. It wasn't long before she began to tremble and cry out. She actually held on longer than I had expected, given what had happened during our previous session. I was glad, though, because my legs were about to give out just as I grunted out my release.

Bella giggled when I collapsed onto the small seat in the shower.

"I could get used to this," she said as she hugged me.

A loud bang came at the door. "Hey! Are you okay, Bella? The water's been running for a long time."

Alice walked into the bathroom, spotted me sitting there, still inside a very naked Bella, and shrieked as she covered her eyes. "OH MY GOD! I'm so sorry!" She turned to walk out of the room and yelled back to us, "Hi, Edward. Sorry about that, but please save some hot water for me and Jazzy, would ya?"

Bella groaned and buried her face in my shoulder. "That wasn't embarrassing at all, was it?"

I laughed. Not even Alice barging in could ruin my mood. "Let's wash up so they can have a quasi-warm shower."

The four of us ate breakfast together and the mood was light. Bella was in much better spirits and didn't complain when Alice handed her the dreaded cane.

Bella came home with me so I could change before class. Sadly, Mom had already driven back to Forks, and the house was empty. She sat on the sofa and talked to me while I changed and gathered my books. We discussed our workloads, appointments, and other commitments, including my need to get in some serious practice time and she really needed to get her assignment for Irina finished. It looked as if we wouldn't be seeing much of each other this week, unless…

"Bella, you could always come work at my place while I practice, couldn't you?"

She pondered it for a moment, then shook her head. "I doubt I'd get much work done thinking about your fingers working the keys."

My jaw dropped at her candid confession. "Really?"

She blushed. "Yes, I suppose we could try, though." She nibbled on her bottom lip before speaking again. "Speaking of try, do you…"

Whatever she was about to ask me was making her nervous. "What is it, love?"

"Would you come to a support group meeting with me on Thursday night?"

Oh. Crap. Way to ruin a perfect moment.

My silence spoke volumes and the smile in Bella's eyes faded. "Okay, never mind, I'll go with Irina. It's okay."

Crap! "No, Bella, I'll go."

"Really? I don't want you to feel pressured, but I think I'm ready to go."

"Okay, well, we can talk about that tomorrow at dinner, my house. Then we'll work."

Bella gave me a kiss. "Thank you. Now, can we go? I'm slow and I don't want to be late for class."

I dropped her off at her building, gave her a kiss and promised to call later. I watched as she made her way slowly to class, leaning on her cane and stopping every few steps. She was far from flawless, but it made her all the more perfect because of it.

My girl was a fighter and it was time for me to man up and support her.

Bella

I paced in my kitchen as I waited for Edward to pick me up for the meeting. We'd discussed it again last night over dinner and although I could smell his fear and feel his reluctance, he had agreed to go. As a precaution, I had called Irina just to make sure she would be there in case Edward couldn't do it.

Sad to say, I had pretty much written him off, prepared myself for him to bail, to run in the other direction screaming. I know, I know, I'm horrible; I had told him that I had forgiven him, but I couldn't forget it. I was always half-expecting him to run screaming, especially when I was so gimpy on Monday.

Headlights flashed across the living room walls and I heard a car door slam. Edward was walking toward the back door. He was really here! I flung open the door and launched myself into his arms. "You came!"

He slowly disentangled my arms from around his neck and set me down, frowning sadly. "You still don't trust me do you?"

"Um, yes, I trust you, but…"

He frowned harder. "Let's go, we don't want to be late."

Shit, he was mad. "Edward, I'm sorry."

He shook his head as he sat in the driver's seat. "No, I deserve it. Let's not discuss it further. So, where is this thing?"

Although he still sounded upset, I wasn't going to push the matter any further, I was actually going to listen to him and not pursue it until later. I gave him the address to the church where the meetings were held. My body trembled as we pulled up.

"Baby, are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm just nervous. I'll be okay. Oh, there's Irina."

Edward got out and walked around to open my door. My legs were trembling so bad that I could barely stand. I had done so well earlier in the day that I'd not even bothered with my cane and now I wasn't sure if I should have left it home.

"I've got you," he whispered before kissing my cheek.

Irina ran over. "Bella, dear, are you okay?" She grabbed my other arm and helped me get up the stairs and inside the foyer.

"I've had a bit of a setback, but I'm doing better. I'm just nervous and it's making things worse. Oh, Irina, this is Edward. Edward, this is Irina."

We stopped walking when we reached a carpeted staircase leading down to the basement. Irina let go of my arm, walked over to Edward and hugged him. "Thank you, Edward. I think you will both benefit from this."

I looked down the stairs and groaned. There's no way my shaky legs would handle going down the stairs. Edward released me and stepped down a couple of steps, turning his back to me. "Need a lift?"

Irina laughed. "I'll meet you two at the bottom."

Swallowing what little pride I had left, I hopped onto Edward's back and he carried me down into a brightly lit multipurpose room. There were probably fifteen, maybe twenty people present, all of varying ages, and it looked as if we were probably the youngest people in attendance.

"Coffee? Tea? Juice? There's a table over there with just about anything you could want." Irina said, pointing to a long table laden with coffee urns, hot plates heating teapots, cans of pop in buckets of ice, and trays of sweets.

Edward led me to a seat and set me down. "I'll grab drinks. What can I get for you ladies?"

"I'm already shaky enough, I'll have something decaffeinated, like a chamomile tea if there's some there. If not, water is fine. Thanks, sweetie."

Irina pulled out a huge Ziploc bag filled with teabags from her massive purse. "Just grab a couple of hot waters for us, dear; I've got enough tea for half of Seattle in this bag."

Edward smiled a little and walked off toward the refreshment table. Irina turned to me and grinned. "Bella, he's wonderful, and handsome to boot. Such a gentleman. So, how hard was it to get him to come?"

I sighed a little. "It wasn't easy, but it wasn't as hard as I thought it could be. He's very resistant to therapy or anything resembling it, so of course he was leery. And then I go and make some stupid comment about thinking he might bail. God, I'm such a…oh, thanks, sweetie." I smiled at Edward as he handed each of us a steaming mug of hot water.

Irina opened the Ziploc bag. "So, what's your pleasure?"

"Surprise me," I said, grinning at her.

"I'll have what Bella's having."

Irina dug through the bag and pulled out a couple of teabags. How about blueberry?"

"Mm," I hummed, my mouth watering instantly, "sounds delicious."

We sat in silence as we poked at our teabags. Irina finally spoke up. "We're pretty informal here and most of us have been part of the group for a while. Don't let it intimidate you. Don't feel like you have to share tonight, too. No one will hold a gun to your head, but you might find that it helps. We ALL understand your grief, and this is a safe place. There is no judgment here, only likeminded people who all want to find some peace in all of this."

She took Edward's free hand in hers. "I know you are struggling with this, Edward, and I'm so proud of you for even coming. The grieving fathers are hard to get to open up because they are so hardwired to hold it in, but you have a right to grieve too. Remember that, kiddo."

He swallowed loudly and nodded before taking my hand in his.

A tall, beautiful woman stood up at the front of the room, and all conversation stopped. "Welcome, everyone. Could you all pull your chairs in and form a circle? Thank you."

Edward helped me up and arranged our seats in the circle with everyone else, putting me between him and Irina. My hands were shaking so badly that my tea was slopping in my mug, so Edward took it and placed it on the floor, then took my hand in his. Irina reached for the other one and gave it a squeeze.

"Okay, well, welcome everyone. I see some new faces tonight, so I'll introduce myself. My name is Kate and I will be leading the meeting tonight."

The others all replied with a rousing, "Hi, Kate." This was really starting to feel like an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

Kate smiled at the group, then continued. "My daughter, Abigail, died six years ago in a car accident. She was four years old."

My heart stuttered briefly, my left leg began to bounce and my throat tightened. Edward rubbed circles on the top of my hand, and gave it a squeeze.

Kate kept speaking. "I miss Abby every day, some days are worse than others, but I'm here to tell you that it's okay to grieve, you just need to make sure that you keep living.

"One of the hardest things I struggled with over the years was dealing with people who have never had to endure this kind of overwhelming loss. These are, for the most part, well-meaning people who expect us to go on living as if nothing happened. You never get over the loss of your baby, regardless of age," she nodded toward a grandparently-looking couple. "But you can learn to live with it."

She smiled in our direction. "Would our new friends like to introduce themselves? There's no pressure to talk, but we're here to listen. We understand."

I squeezed the hands I held and tried to stand. My legs were shaking so bad that Edward and Irina stood with me. I needed to do this, shaky legs and all.

"M…my name is B…Bella, this is Edward, and we lost our two year old daughter Emma in…in a car accident. My parents also died in the same accident.

Edward buried his nose in my hair and exhaled deeply.

"Hi, Bella. Hi, Edward. Welcome," Kate said, smiling sadly. "How long ago?"

Edward croaked out a quiet "five years."

"Well, welcome to you both. Please continue if you wish, but keep in mind you don't have to. Take your time."

I whispered to Irina that I was okay. She sat down and squeezed my hand before letting it go. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist when my knees threatened to buckle.

"You can sit if that's better," Kate added.

I smiled gratefully at her. "Thank you."

Edward helped me down and draped an arm around my shoulder before he whispered to me, "Are you sure?"

I nodded, then cleared my throat before I began telling our story. My voice wavered a couple of times, but I didn't break down until I got to the part about Edward leaving. Amazingly, he picked up the story from there, and to be honest, I was more than willing to let it go, but he wasn't. and I was so proud of him that I could burst.

Edward

Bella was amazing. I wasn't expecting her to tell our story at all, and when she did, I'll admit that I was a little annoyed, but she handled it like a trooper until she got to the part where I left. Somewhere deep inside of me, I found the strength to continue for her.

"Um, well, I was kind of in shock, I mean, Emma was gone, Bella was pretty much gone, and I was out of my mind, so after I…" I swallowed the huge concrete lump in my throat, "I buried our baby girl, I ran."

I'm not sure what I expected to happen as I continued the story—people throwing rocks or rotten fruit, or chasing me down with pitchforks and torches—but the reaction I received shocked me. The men in the room nodded and looked at me, not with anger or disgust, but with quiet understanding. I was floored. Even the women regarded me with compassion. What the…?"

Kate spoke up. "Bella, Edward? Is it safe to assume that neither one of you has really dealt with this?"

We both nodded. "I ran as far away as I could."

Bella spoke up quietly. "I was in a coma."

"And after?"

Bella's voice grew in strength. "I buried myself in my recovery, and then, when I ended up running away, I immersed myself in school."

"Edward?"

"Pretty much the same, school, music, anything to avoid it."

"And here you are, together again and speaking out. Thank you for sharing. You give us all a lot of hope."

The other people in the room smiled at us and clapped before another couple began to speak.

"My name is Elizabeth, and this is my husband Paul. We lost our son Alec to meningitis, and the one-year anniversary is next week. I know I'm speaking for my husband when I say that the hardest thing for us right now is the overwhelming and all-consuming guilt we both have about his death. We waited too long to take him to the hospital; we thought he was pretending to be sick to get out of going to school. He had an algebra test that day and he hated math with a passion, so it wasn't uncommon for him to play sick. Only this time…

"By the time we got him to a doctor, it was too late; there was nothing they could do. He died twenty minutes later."

Elizabeth broke down and sobbed. Bella squeezed my hand, and I looked over at her and tears were streaming down her face. I kissed her temple and squeezed her back, to let her know I was there.

Paul spoke quietly to his wife, offering her a hug. When she was composed enough to speak again, she said that on top of the guilt, they were dealing with marital issues. Their marriage was falling apart because they were blaming each other for something that was out of their hands. They were in therapy now and things were better, but there were times when neither one of them could stand to see the other.

Irina spoke next, and I watched as Bella squeezed her hand as a means of support. She was strong as she spoke, eloquent, but still evidently very aggrieved over the loss of her dear son, Jacob. It seemed like Irina had weathered the worse of the storm, and I was relieved that Bella had her in her corner.

After listening to the other couples sharing their stories of loss, and then talking about the good things that had happened, I was feeling a little better. I would be hard pressed to say that I wasn't surprised when a couple of the men approached me during the post-meeting social time. They mentioned that they often met, just the men, to discuss their problems because sometimes it helped to have another guy to talk to. Men quite often process grief differently and are often swept to the wayside, when the focus is clearly on the mothers.

"Everyone feels for the mothers because, well, they gave birth to our children and share that special physical bond, but no one really thinks to ask us how we are doing.

"So, we get together, have some beer, and talk. There's no real structure to it, just some guys hanging out. Sometimes we go to football games or go bowling," Paul said.

"Here's our card. It's got our cell numbers and e-mail addresses in case you need to talk."

"Thanks." I looked down at the card and smiled. "Really, thank you."

Bella limped over and put her arm around my waist, smiling at the men. "Bella, love, this is Paul, Garrett, Embry, and Marcus."

She grinned at them. "Hi."

"You ready to go?" I asked, kissing the top of her head.

"Whenever you are."

"Okay, gentlemen, thanks again."

"Any time. Oh, and Edward?" Paul spoke up, "you should check out Embry's website, there's more details there for when you're ready."

I pocketed the card and smiled as Bella and I made our way to the stairs. "Fancy a lift, love?"

"Nah, I want to do it myself, thanks. It's easier for me to go up than it is to go down, although; if you want to lend an arm, I wouldn't refuse it."

We made our way up the stairs and out to the car, and it wasn't until I pulled into Bella's driveway that either one of us spoke.

"What did you think?" she asked, sounding nervous.

I took her hand and gently laced my fingers through hers. "It was hard, and I was SO proud of you for standing up. It broke my heart, though, to hear about all the other kids. So much pain. But then the more I listened, the luckier I felt."

Bella turned her head to look at me. "Lucky?"

"Yes, love, I was counting my many blessings. I have you back, but so many of them lost their relationships, so I am happy that we're working through this. I feel lucky that unlike Elizabeth and Paul, we won't drown under the guilt. I mean, it's not their fault that their son died, meningitis is a fickle bitch, but there is nothing about the way that Emma died that could possibly be our fault."

Bella cleared her throat and looked away. I gently pulled her chin toward me. "What is it?"

"I feel guilty sometimes that I lived and she didn't. It's not fair that it happened this way and my baby didn't really get a chance to reach her potential."

"Sweetie, that's natural, but not at all what I'm talking about."

"I know."

"I also feel lucky to have met these new people so now I won't feel so alone."

Bella's mouth opened and she gasped. "You…you feel alone?" Her breathing increased, and she began to claw at the collar of her jacket.

Crap.

Before she could freak out and have a full-blown panic attack, I got out of the car, opened her door, unbuckled her seatbelt, reached in and picked her up. "Sh, love, let me explain."

I carried her to the swings and sat on one, encouraging her to straddle my lap so she was facing me. "Look at me, baby."

Her eyes fluttered open as she looked at me.

"Deep breaths, love. Look, that all came out wrong. I NEVER feel alone when I'm with you. Finding you again and being able to be a part of your life has resuscitated me; I was existing in limbo until you told me you still loved me."

I kissed her, then rested my forehead on hers. "Bella, deep breaths, honey."

She inhaled deeply, then slowly exhaled, and I felt her heart slowing down a bit.

"Talking to the men there tonight made me realize that I had no one but you to talk to about Emma. Unlike everyone outside the family, these guys won't smile, nod, and hope that I stop playing the grieving father. They know what it's like to be a dad who has lost his child, and I…I want to talk about it. I NEED to talk about it."

Bella began to sob. "Shh, baby," I whispered against her hair as I rested my lips on her forehead.

"I'm happy," she said between sobs. "We're going to be okay now, aren't we?"

I held her tighter and kissed her nose. "Yes, I think we are."

She rested her head on my chest and I pushed off, swinging us gently in the cool night air, both of us genuinely smiling. I felt so light that I almost expected us to take flight and soar off into the inky night sky.

Hopefully that wasn't too hard on y'all. It's all good, though...progress is a good thing.

Let's see...this week's recs..

The Mirrors by adorablecullens
The Blessing and the Curse by The Black Arrow
Let Your Light Shine by LolaShoes
Calefaction by ExploitingReality
Death at Disneyland by LJ Summers

And if you haven't already read it, please read the wonderful Guarding Edward by Katmom. She's been updating with some INCREDIBLE epilogues, that I think she should seriously consider turning into full-on spin-offs. Maybe if enough of us mention it to her, she'll do it. *grin*

Happy long weekend (for those who are lucky to have one) and don't eat too much chocolate! Save some for me, damn it!