A/N: Okay, I lied, apparently there are gonna be three parts, this story is proving to be a monster

Three blocks in, they realized the place was a ghost town. It was creepy, especially considering how full of life it had been just yesterday—a town dedicated to gambling and partying, bustling with noise even in the early mornings. Now, however, the only thing to break the heavy silence hanging over the streets was the occasional animal scampering by.

Usopp frowned at Sanji, who ignored him in favor of fiddling with his tie.

He spoke up anyways, "Man, where did everyone go? I mean, if someone was still around they definitely would've screamed by now on account of the tiger—"

Said tiger growled.

Chopper tore his gaze from the rooftops long enough to translate, "'That's General tiger to you, maggot.'"

Usopp's mouth twitched. Shaking it off, he returned his attention to Sanji. "It's just weird, don't you think? You think the 'destroyer of mountains' or whatever had something to do with this?"

"Dunno," Sanji said, "It.. could've..." He trailed off, both verbally and physically considering he'd stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Ah, Sanji?" Usopp queried, pausing at his side. "What's...?"

Oh.

Farther ahead, a large plume of smoke was wafting into the sky, far too large to be from a simple campfire.

"Smoke is white, so there's not a fire," Sanji noted, though Usopp figured it was more for himself than them.

"Wanna check it out?"

"Yeah."

"What're you guys talking about?" Chopper asked, falling in step with him, gaze still wandering from building to building.

"Just something we wanna check out." Usopp explained, "What's got you so distracted anyways?"

"Huh?" Chopper's focus snapped to him, then slowly drifted away again, the skin between his eyes pinching in concentration. "I don't know. Something about this place seems familiar is all."

"Huh? Maybe we came through here yesterday?"

Chopper gave a vague hum, though didn't disagree.

"What the—!" At Sanji's outburst, they turned their heads.

He was staring around the corner with his mouth hanging open, and when Usopp caught up, he understood why. The entire block had been decimated. The buildings were riddled with meteor-sized holes, some missing entire roofs, others with windows busted out and slashes down the side, as though someone had cut and smashed right through them.

Sanji started forward, and Usopp stumbled after him numbly, still taking in the wreckage. He nearly tripped over a crater in the ground because of this, grabbing onto a lightpost, the only one that remained standing. The rest had been chopped in half or bent like they were made of clay rather than solid metal.

Holy sh—

"What happened here?" It took Usopp a second to realize it had been him who'd spoken.

Sanji barely looked at him, face several shades too pale. "No clue."

The tiger flicked his ear dismissively, and Chopper had blanked out even more than before.

"Chopper?"

Nothing.

Huh. Weird.

"Look at that." Sanji raised a finger, pointing to a grocery store at the end of the street.

Out of everything, it was by far in the worst condition. If the rest of the buildings looked like meteors had rammed through them, this one looked like an entire fleet of canons had been set loose on it. There were so many holes dotting the walls he couldn't believe it was still standing, let alone not covered in flames.

Although, it was kinda tipping to the side, and there was a trail of smoke wafting from the back—the same one they'd followed if he had to guess.

"Maybe that'll shed some light on whatever went down here."

"The grocery store!?" Usopp asked incredulously.

"No," Sanji said, lowering his finger a tinge.

Usopp's eyes mimicked the movement, resting on...

"That."

"Oh, I see." He nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. Wait. "WHAT THE HELL!?"

Brook was lying in front of the entrance to the store, head resting on his guitar case and a bubble of snot gently shrinking and expanding with every breath. How a skeleton had managed to form a snot bubble was beyond him, but he'd stopped trying to rationalize Brook a long time ago. About a week after meeting him to be exact.

"Oi, Brook!" Sanji shouted, rushing over to him with the tiger at his heels.

Usopp was about to follow when he noticed Chopper hadn't moved. He was still by the corner, staring at the store as though it was riddled with dynamite.

"Chopper?"

Slowly, the Doctor's gaze shifted to him. "Uh.. Usopp..."

"Hey, Brook, get the hell up!"

WHACK!

"OW!"

"I.. I think," Chopper swallowed, eyes widening further, "We did this..."

On cue, a weight slammed into his head, causing him to stagger several paces away. Somewhere, Chopper called for him, but it was faint like a veil had separated them. As his shoulder met a rough surface, probably a wall, he gave into the sensation, allowing it to sweep over him like a tidal wave and drag him under.

"I'm sorry sir, you can't come in here." The man repeated, voice terse with worry.

"Come on!" Came a slurred reply, "We jus' need'a stock up a bit, then 'ell be outta yer hair!"

Wait. That voice was familiar...

"Sir, I really—"

A dark hand pressed against the man's chest, perhaps in a failed attempt to grab his shoulder. He knew that hand.

That was...

"Can't ya make an exception this one 'ime? I go' an army of over nine thousan' men to feed ya know!"

It's me, He hissed internally. But, wait, what the—!?

The man he assumed must be the manager grew increasingly nervous, "Sir, as much as I would like to, we do not allow," He turned to the side.

Usopp's line of sight also swiveled, though it was blurry like he was watching through a low-resolution projection.

It took him longer than he was proud of to realize they were looking at Chopper, and he only figured it out because of the blue dot mixed in with the splotch of brown.

"Reindeer inside the store."

Like he'd said, for some reason, Chopper had switched into his walk point. There was an arm leaning on his back, as though someone was using him for support, but whoever it was stood just out of view.

"'Reindeer!?'" Chopper growled, though it was low enough for the man not to hear.

The manager's eyes shifted, resting on something behind him, "Nor... Er, Skeletons... If you want to come in, you'll have to leave your pet and your doll outside.. sir..."

Instead of arguing, the world lurched, buildings and sidewalks swimming as he turned to face the street, where another figure stood.

"'Ey, Sanji, he sai' we can't come in!"

Yeah, that had to be Sanji, if the blobs of black and yellow were anything to go by. He had his back to them, shoulders jerking as he yelled at... a tree?

"Damn mosshead! Ya wanna fight, huh!?" He slurred, giving the trunk a hefty kick.

Several of the people walking passed gaped at him like he was crazy. Well, he couldn't see their expressions, but they must've been.

"I ain't.. Scared of you!"

Thunk! Another kick and the tree toppled over, landing in the middle of the road and nearly taking out several passerbys.

Luckily, they'd dodged. Probably. He really hoped they did.

His vision was too blurry for him to be sure, well, that and the outburst behind him drew his focus once more.

"OI, WHA' DO YA MEAN I CAN'T COME IN CUZ' I'M A REINDEER!?" Chopper snapped, shifting into his hybrid form and raising his fists.

The person beside Chopper wasted no time joining in. "A DOLL!?"

Huh. Guess it'd been Brook leaning on him. Made sense.

"HOW RUDE! I AM A GENTLEMAN, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW!"

The manager, understandably, did what anyone would've when confronted with a talking skeleton and transforming reindeer. He shrieked in pure terror.

"YOU RACIST!"

"RACIST!"

Did skeletons and reindeer count as a race? Before he could give it much thought several ground shaking explosions rang out, and the front door to the store was blown clear off its hinges.

"Take that raciiiiiist!" Chopper screamed, pumping his arms and charging inside.

Brook was at his heels, drawing his guitar and releasing a burst of music that made Usopp queasy upon hearing.

He couldn't help but notice the manager was gone. Really hoped he'd run away, and that wasn't him who'd been thrown through the door.

The Usopp from last night didn't seem to care much, instead, turning to Sanji, who'd begun staggering away, swaying on his feet and mumbling something incoherent.

A pause, then he followed.

"Sanji, I though' ya 'anted ta stock up?"

Usopp blinked the memory away, speckles in his vision clearing until he could make out a brick wall. He pushed off it, ignoring the painful throb his head gave and turned to Chopper, who was staring at the store, expression somewhat sheepish.

"Oops."

Usopp didn't even know where to begin with what was wrong with that.

"Brook, what the hell happened to you!? What is this stuff?"

At Sanji's startled yell, he lifted his head, eyes flickering to the collapsed tree in front of the store. Something in him began to break at the sight, so he shook it off in favor of stumbling over to his friends.

Like Sanji had said, Brook was drenched from head to toe in something, and if he had to guess, it was the same something Chopper was covered in.

"My, oh my, what an exquisite nap that was!" Brook said, giving his arms a luxurious stretch. A pause, then he raised a finger, voice growing serious. "Ah, would you two be kind enough to wait just one moment? I won't be long at all."

Usopp shot Sanji a frown he mirrored, but they obliged.

Brook pulled the guitar case onto his lap, digging through it until his skeletal hands returned wrapped around a thermos. As he pulled the lid off, Usopp took notice of the flower necklaces hanging from his afro. Seriously, what had those two gotten into after they'd split up?

Brook poured a steaming liquid into the cup, blowing on it patiently before taking a long sip. Then he promptly spit it out all over them.

"OH DEAREST OF ME'S, A TIGER!"

For a moment, Usopp just stared, a lukewarm fluid he now knew on a very intimate level was tea, dripping down his face. Sanji had lowered his head, bangs clumped together with the sticky liquid. When he finally spoke, it was in a low growl.

"General. Maul."

An earsplitting roar followed, and the general tiger leapt over their heads, barreling into Brook and pinning him to the ground. Resisting the childish urge to cheer, Usopp set a hand on Sanji's shoulder.

"Excellent abuse of power."

"I thought so too."

Chopper sauntered closer, giving Brook a passive glance as he went. "Is he gonna be all right?"

"Probably."

When the general finally relented, Brook's coat had been shredded, and several teeth marks dotted his arms.

"Why I never!" He huffed, more indignant than anything. "Siccing a tiger on your crewmate is incredibly rude I'll have you know!"

Said tiger responded by baring its teeth.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll repent later," Sanji muttered, running a hand through his hair. "Anyways, since you're here, I assume you have some idea what happened."

Brook fell silent at that, turning to face the ruined street. He remained like that for several heartbeats before grabbing the cup of tea that had somehow survived. He took a sip.

"Why, that would be our Captain's work."

"Wait..." Usopp breathed out. "Y-YOU REMEMBER!?"

Sanji and Chopper gaped in shock.

"Ah, yeah," Brook said like it was no big deal. "It was quite a wild night if I do say so myself. I haven't had such an exhilarating time in years. Really got my blood going, except, I don't have any blood anymore because—"

"Wait, Luffy did all this!?" Sanji exclaimed, palms slamming onto his knees.

Brook sat stoic for a moment, sulking if he had to guess, then released a bone-rattling sigh and crossed his arms.

"Why, yes, he did indeed. Him and Zoro-san made quite a mess of the place during their spat."

Chopper blinked, "'Their spat?'" He teared up. "Did they get into a fight!?"

Brook nodded, "They did. And what a marvelous fight it was! Simply amazing!"

"Wait, wait, wait," Usopp interceded, "Why do you remember everything!? And what the heck happened to us last night!?"

Sanji shot him a wide-eyed look before returning his focus to Brook. "Good point! Hey, Brook, why the hell didn't you get drugged!?"

Brook lifted his cup, taking another drawn out sip. With a sated sigh, he lowered it, cradling it in his hands. "Why, that's simple. After that strange young man slipped something into the bottle, I stopped drinking."

The silence that followed was deafening. All the while, Brook casually finished his drink, returning the thermos to wherever he'd stashed it in his guitar case.

"You mean to tell me," Sanji ground out, the air surrounding him electric. "You saw someone drug our rum, and you didn't think to tell us!?"

"BROOK!" Chopper yelped, scrambling to his feet as he finally processed what had been said.

"Ah! I guess I very well could have done that!" Brook said, plopping a fist onto an open palm. "My honest mistake!"

The minutes that followed were a blur, but Usopp's pretty sure he got a couple good kicks in before Sanji sent the tiger in to finish the job. He almost felt bad looking at Brook's beaten form. Almost.

Sanji knelt by his shoulder, taking Brook by the collar and giving him several rough shakes. "All right, spill it! Who the hell drugged us, and why the hell were Luffy and that damn mosshead fighting!?"

"I am.. unable... to answer.. either of your questions!" Brook managed to squeeze out, tone taking an offended turn. "Perhaps, you should ask... Franky-san!" The last words were a gasp as Sanji dropped him onto the ground.

Brook landed face first, making no move to get up, nor to continue the conversation.

Sanji raised a brow, "Franky? Why do you think he'd know?"

Usopp paused, a hazy image of the trio wandering out of the pub together surfacing. "He was with them, wasn't he?"

"Huh?" Sanji's frown snapped to him, "You remember?"

Humming, Usopp tucked his arms over his chest. "Sorta."

"Yeah," Chopper agreed after a beat, "I think I remember something like that too."

With a slow nod, Sanji strolled over to the fallen tree. "We'll have to look for Franky on top of searching for Nami-swan and Robin-chwan, then. Chances are, he won't remember a damn thing either, but he may have some clues as to where they disappeared to."

Usopp opened his mouth to agree, then, a thought struck him. "Wait, wait, what about Luffy and Zoro?"

"What about them?"

"Uhhh..." Usopp was mulling over some way to reason with the cook, but upon being confronted with a blank stare, he realized doing so would be completely pointless. "Nothing."

Sanji nodded like that was exactly what he'd wanted to hear (knowing him it was) then planted a foot on the toppled tree's trunk, fire erupting around his legs. "AWOOOOH! NAMI-SWAN! ROBIN-CHWAN! YOU'RE PRINCE IS ON HIS WAY!"

"Usopp," Chopper whispered with a tug on his pant leg. "I might know where Franky is."

Turned out, the cyborg was behind the store. The area was noticeably less destroyed than the rest of the block, though it was messier in other ways. The few pieces of wall that remained were splattered in that same ruddy liquid Chopper, and Brook was covered in, ashes forming a circle on the stone sidewalk, enough charcoal for there to have been a bonfire. That wasn't the weirdest part, though. No, the weirdest part was the flower necklaces that had managed to cover every single object. The branches of trees, the shrubs, the busted pipes hanging from the ceiling, even the two unconscious forms of his crewmates; Robin leaning against an oak, so many necklaces it was more of a boa, and Franky slumped spread-eagle in the grass, barely managing not to drown in them if his muffled snores were any indicator.

Usopp couldn't bring himself to do more than sigh, nor could Sanji (until he noticed Robin and spun over to her in a 'whirlwind of love'). Chopper and Brook, on the other hand, were staring at the splotches of that sticky fluid with no small amount of horror.

He considered asking, probably would've, if Franky hadn't chosen that instant to shoot upright, roaring loud enough to make him stumble away several paces.

"—YOU DEAF!? I SAID NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING!"

"W-W-What!?" Chopper exclaimed, darting backward to hide behind Usopp's legs. "We didn't touch anything!"

"Ah, Franky-san, good morning! Or, should I say evening?" Brook laughed, relatively unfazed.

Franky stared at them, eyes clouded with sleep, then blinked, groped around beside him until his fingers were coiled around his sunglasses, and pushed them onto his nose. "...What's with the tiger?"

"That's what you want to start with!?" Usopp spluttered, giving the general tiger an annoyed glance. Of all the things—the leveled store, burnt out campfire, strange liquid, the ocean of freaking flower necklaces—that was what he asked about!?

The tiger replied by sitting straighter, snout raised in a borderline snobbish gesture. Yeah, that tiger was really starting to bother him.

"A-Ah, he said: 'you seem like a worthy adversary, so I'll excuse your insubordinate behavior just this once, dirtbag.'"

A pause, then Franky's lips parted into a crescent-like smirk, giant hand forming a thumbs up. "Super cool!"

"That was cool!?" Usopp protested while Robin gave a muffled chuckle.

Amusement fading somewhat, she pressed a hand to her cheek. "Perhaps, he intends to rip out your entrails?"

"Oi, don't say things like that!"

"Robin!"

"Nah," Sanji said, disturbingly unaffected by her morbid remark, "Shitty tiger won't do anything unless I tell it."

"Oh?"

The tiger gave a proud nod.

While Usopp walked over to Franky, Robin crouched by the tiger, scratching him behind the ears with a pleased grin. Brook remained rooted in place by the corner, as did Chopper. Usopp figured it was better not to ask.

"What the hell happened here?" Sanji asked, anyways, joining Usopp at Franky's shoulder. "The hell is all this stuff?"

Franky stared blankly. Mechanically, he moved his head, examining the craters and smoke, the splotches of red fluid and flowers.

"Maybe it's blood?" Robin put in with a small frown, though she in no way seemed concerned.

Meanwhile, the tiger leaned into her touch, purring loudly and unashamed.

"Some General," Usopp muttered, warranting a glare that made his heart skip a beat.

Tentatively, Chopper picked his way closer, hooves in front of his chest. "'Hold your tongue you long-nosed ape. And, by the smell of it, this isn't blood—smells like that strange stuff humans like to flavor their prey with.'"

Sanji frowned, arms crossing over his chest. "Barbeque sauce?"

Franky gave an ambiguous hum, dipping a finger into the colored dirt only to plop it into his mouth. "Blegh!" He promptly spat it out. "Tastes super bad!"

Chopper finally stopped at Sanji's side, eyes flickering over the clearing.

Speaking of Chopper, "Hey, Brook, why the heck are you guys covered in barbecue sauce too?"

Chopper's petrification relapsed, his legs going stiff and a low whine escaping his throat. Even Brook seemed unnerved, which immediately freaked Usopp out as well.

"W-W-Wait, w-whatever d-did this isn't s-still around, r-right guys!?"

Franky swung onto his feet, raising a brow and jabbing a thumb over his shoulder. "What do you mean, 'course it is! Take a look at my Battle Franky thirty-eight point one! Pretty super, huh!?"

That's when Usopp realized something was still snoring. Neck stiff, he tore his gaze away, following the sound to a hunk of twitching metal. It was reclining behind a pile of shrubs, it's square head resting on large arms, one shaped as though a canon was inside, the other like a normal hand.

It was small, it was ridiculous, didn't even have legs, just treads, it was... It was...

"Super cool!"

"Super!" Franky howled. A pause and he scratched his chin. "Well, there were a few bugs I still have'ta work out."

Robin chuckled into her palm.

Usopp blinked, smile wavering, "Bugs?"

"Wait," Sanji cut in, "The robot is cool and all, but where the hell are Luffy and the mosshead?"

Franky hummed thoughtfully, before pulling a wrench out of who-knows-where and beginning to fiddle with his robot. "Can't say I know. Sorry, bro. Last time I saw 'em, the two were arguing over something, then Luffy said he was hungry, so I left to find some scrap metal. Figured I could build a robot to cook us up something since no one could find you."

Sanji's expression darkened to such an extent, Usopp could've sworn it had materialized around him. But, wait, what was there to be mad about?

With a soft laugh, Brook edged closer, cane waving in the air beside him.

Wait. No. No way. No, that couldn't be it! This was Franky, after all! Surely, he wouldn't—

In that instant, Chopper revived, pushing himself up with round eyes. "You didn't get drugged with us?"

To his credit, the cyborg seemed genuinely surprised, pausing in his work to glance up at them. "'Drugged?'"

"..You didn't drink the rum, did you, Franky?" Usopp asked, tone flat.

"'Course not, I only drink cola!"

For a moment, they just stared, Franky with a baffled frown and Usopp expressionless. The standoff might have gone on for longer if all the anger hadn't proceeded to hit him at once.

"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU SERIOUSLY DIDN'T NOTICE!?"

"Woah, bro, calm it down," Franky said, leaning away. "I just figured you guys were having a super time is all. Who was I to interf—?" The last part was cut off in favor of blocking Sanji's foot. "Hey! Watch it!"

"You mean to tell me," Sanji rumbled, same way Usopp had. That's why, he was expecting more or less the same, already nodding in tune. "Luffy said he was hungry,"

Wait. What?"

"And instead of just buying some damn food from the store literally right in front of you, you build a shitty robot!?"

Franky's jaw dropped, the wrench spilling from his free hand. "..Well, when you put it like that it almost sounds stupid."

"It is stupid!" Sanji roared, retracting his leg and going in for another kick.

Usopp's palm collided with his face, a groan that was equal parts painful escaping. "Gotta be kidding..." A thought hit him, and he straightened. "Wait, Robin, if you were here, why didn't you stop him!?"

Robin offered an ambiguous smile, "I am unsure. Much of last night is a blur, however, I do not believe I was around for that particular part of it."

"That's correct," Brook nodded, strumming absently on his guitar. "Robin-san showed up near the end and helped me take it down. In the end, we managed to put it to sleep."

"Oh, I see, I se—wait, take it down!?"

"Robin-san," Brook went on, ignoring him. "Now that you are lucid, could you perhaps consider showing me your panties?"

Robin's smile took a murdery turn. Usopp promptly dropped the conversation and moved farther away. He'd take getting kicked by Sanji over an angry Robin any day.

Thankfully, neither things got the chance to happen, because, in a hailstorm of whirring and zapping noises, the robot burst upright.

"I am back!" A staticky voice exclaimed.

Chopper's mouth fell open, "Wha—"

Usopp's followed suit, "The robot—"

"It... It can—"

"—t-talk!"

Then in sync, they threw their arms up and yelled, "THAT'S TOO COOL!"

Even Sanji had frozen, visible eye round, "It can talk?"

Franky swiped a thumb over his nose. "Heck yeah, it can! Took me over fifteen minutes to build and install that damn speech unit, but as you can see, the results speak for themselves!"

"So cool!" Chopper cried, and if Usopp's cheeks were currently covered in tears as well, he wasn't the least bit ashamed of it.

He was so caught up in the explosion of glorious robot awe, he almost didn't hear the next words it spoke.

"Targets acquired."

"Ah, targets?"

"One reindeer, one tiger, and one unknown creature. Locking on."

"Locking on?"

A series of blurred colors shooting from its arm clarified the statement. Brook and the tiger dodged to the side while Chopper was hit right in the face, bowling over from the force.

Usopp's heart skipped a beat, and he whirled around. "Ah! Chopper!"

"Don't worry," Franky said with a dismissive wave. "It only shoots flower necklaces!"

"Attack mode, activate."

Franky's cheerful grin vanished. "Okay, you might wanna start running. Like I said; few bugs."

"IT HAS AN ATTACK MODE!?"

"Well, how else was it supposed to catch us food?"

"WHAT!?"

Several flower necklaces shot passed Usopp, so fast the only reason he'd noticed was the wind trailing behind them. Jerkily, he turned, discovering an equal number of gaping holes in the ground where the necklaces had landed.

He swallowed heavily.

"Preparing Barbeque sauce."

Why, oh why, had he joined this crew again?

A/N: The robot part may or may not have to do with all the RvB I've been watching lately... Anyways, I should have the last part out soon, then everything will make sense, I promise