Disclaimer: Oh, you know what I'm going to put here. Don't own it. Don't sue. It's funny. Laugh.

Hey Let's Switch Turns!

Such a Good Idea

"You know, I don't think this is such a good idea, Ditey."

"And what do you know about good ideas, Loi? Hmmm?" Ditey swung a branch back, pausing to brush back the sweat on her brow. Man, Earth was hot. And made people all wet and sticky and smelly. And worse: had terrible spots where magic didn't work. Was there ANYTHING she liked about this planet or what? "I don't heaaaar you."

Ignoring her friend, she continued. "Okay, our magic doesn't work here."

"True."

"We don't know where we are."

"Also true."

"Maybe we should planned this a little bit before we came down to Earth."

"Hah! With what time? We had to escape when we had a chance! If we waited, the doors would've closed for sure and we'd be stuck at Mt. Olympus."

"Don't you think it's just a LITTLE odd that we were the only ones that got away? If Venus says the gates were closed to us, they would have been closed the second she uttered the command. You know she's above the bureacracy up there."

"I don't think it's odd at all! Obviously people know that they're dealing with an all-powerful Muse combo here. Of course, I'm the more impressive of the two, but that's okay."

"Whatever you say, Dites." Loi rolled her eyes, wondering why she put up with Ditey so much for the last couple of millenia. It's not like she was smart, or powerful, or even had anything to blackmail other people with (or at least, of what she knew...) There was really no incentive to hang around with this bossy, insecure, hyperactive excuse for a Muse.

As she was contemplating this, Ditey let go the branch and promptly struck herself with the imposing tree limb.

Loi smiled. Oh yeah. Now she remembered. Ditey was good for a laugh. Or, as Loi observed Ditey curse the tree and attempt to kick it down with her foot, maybe Ditey herself was a laugh.

Either way, it never got boring with her around.

"Damn it, Loi, are you just going to stand there laughing at me or are you going to help me kill this tree?"

"Yeeeaah." She scratched her head. "I'm gonna take a rain check on that actually." She walked ahead, observing the blue horizon. "Huh. That's weird. I think I see someone."

Ditey punched the tree trunk and rubbed her red knuckles. "Pffft. Who else could be out here in the middle of NOWHERE?"

"Uhhh.." Loi squinted her eyes. "Dunno. Looks like a guy pushing a cart or something.. and a fumbling giant."

"What? What is this, Princess Bride?" Ditey abandoned her quest to banish the oak to Hades and shaded her eyes as she peered into the distance. She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Loi, it's not a giant. It's two midgets balancing on each other.... Wait, what?"

"Isn't that... Brainus?" Loi's eyes bugged out.

"Oh my god." Ditey said.

"Oh my god." Loi said.

"This was your idea!" Both shouted at each other and jumped into bushes, for fear of being seen by Venus' demigod nephew.

"WHAT? Are you nuts?" Loi said. "You dragged me out after Venus specifically said we were banned from coming here."

"Yeah, and my recollection calls that you weren't exactly unwilling. As a matter of fact, you were the one who said 'Yahweh schmaweh, a Muse has got to do what a Muse has got to do'."

"Hahaha... I did say that, didn't I?"

"What are we going to do now? If Venus finds out we're down here-"

"IF she hasn't already found out," Loi said, as she started to bite her hand. "Maybe we should go back."

"We can't. The gates are closed, remember? Besides, our magic doesn't work here."

"Crap. Crap, crap, crap." Oh, the havoc Venus could reek on their careers. Forget Olympus Mail Room -- they'd be working as Norwegian Dwarf coal miners if this leaked to their mistress. Or worse -- working for that insufferable Goblin King! Loi whimpered into her handkerchief and promptly tore into her delicate skin.

"Stop that," she slapped her friend's hand. "Okay, don't freak out, don't freak out. Let's just think about this... we have the gang covering for us, right?"

Loi wrung her handkerchief. "Right. But Ditey-"

"But nothing. We're in this for better or for worse. So long as Venus doesn't find out we're gone, we're good, okay? The gates are closed temporarily and this can work in our favor. They don't know we're not supposed to be down here. We can act like messengers or something... or even assistants."

Loi sighed, and looked through the branches at the approaching group that spelled out their doom. "Alright. How should we play this?"

Ditey thought for a while and smiled. "Leave it to me. I'll play it smooth and easy. Watch the master." She got up, brushed off the dirt on her toga and walked gracefully to her death. Loi slapped her head. That was another thing she conveniently forgot: Ditey's plans weren't always 100% failproof even for her to accomplish.

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Ditey pinched her cheeks, and hopped up and down to get herself psyched up. "Okay, okay, be cool, be cool. It's just Brainus and two floozies.. you can do this. He will be eating out of the palm of your hand. Just walk out there and AAAAH!" As soon she put her foot out she slipped on a rock and proceeded to fall down a hill.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHH!!!!" Ditey rolled over in the dirt, thinking all the while, I hate Earth. I hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it!

"Why-" thump, roll-

"Is this-" rip, tear, ouch-

"Happening-" bump, bruise, bleed-

"To-" crack, snap, pow-

"MEEEEEEE?!!"

She tumbled to a stop and growled, thinking the person who invented such a catastrophic nightmare of a place was going to die soon. "As soon as I get my hands on-"

"On what?" She saw at a pair of sandals in front of her and looked up to see the God of her dreams, Brainus. She sighed happily, forgetting she was covered in dirt, bleeding, and that she previously harbored ill feelings toward the planet that was now beneath her Grecian god of love, Brainus. I love Earth. "Well, hello there-"

"HI THERE!" A face interrupted the gaze and Ditey screamed.

"GAH! Monster!" She hit the offensive creative with her hand, taking a karate stance.

"OWIE!" The monster fled behind a short girl.

"Now... where were we?" She thought as she looked at Brainus like she was looking at a delicious meal. "Oh yes. Well, hello there-"

"Uh, hi." Brainus squinted his eyes and gripped the cart, pushing it uphill. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

"Who, me?" Ditey batted her eyes and then remembered that, duh, Brainus was Venus' nephew. She covered her face with some of her toga. "Naaaah, you don't know me. In fact, none of you know-"

"I DO! I DO! I DO! I know who you are!" The little gremlin of a person incessantly waved her arms and hopped up and down, pointing in Ditey's direction.

Crap, Ditey thought. It's that horrid little Muse of Many Talents. How'd she get down here? She squinted her eyes and glared at Ash. She better shut up before-

"Yeah, you do look sort of familiar. It must be that toga. Makes everyone look familiar to me," the other girl said, trying to get Ash to calm down.

Brainus grunted as he pushed more. "Hey, can we do less talking and more pushing? We're almost to the top."

The top? Ditey arched her eyebrow and looked up at the bushes. Loi was motioning "What the HELL are you doing?" to her discreetly. She smacked her head. LOI! Crap, she forgot. Better divert them away from her. If there was one thing suspicious about a Muse in the middle of nowhere, it was two Muses in the middle of nowhere.

"Uh, funny thing about the top," she stepped in Brainus' way. "I'm Ditey, by the way. Nice to meet you...?"

Grunt, "Brainus," grunt.

"And I'm Mis-"

"Yeah, yeah, that's very nice. So Brainus, what brings you here in the middle of nowhere?" And in a magical blackhole at that.

"Well," Brainus figured he was due for a break anyway and stuck a rock behind the wheel, "my two friends and I were coming on our chariot when our flying horse got spooked by a few dragons. We crashed here. Magic, as I'm sure you know by now, Ditey, doesn't work in this area. I, well, we were just pushing the chariot up the hill to ride down until we get to a place where magic does work. Now, what brings you here in the middle of nowhere?" He arched his eyebrow at her.

"Ha ha, very funny," she giggled at his turnabout use of her words. She put her chin in her hand and grinned like an idiot. "Sigh... you're so cute."

"Ahem," the other girl loudly cleared her throat and glared at Ditey. "We were in the middle of something here so if you don't mind, I'm just going to grab my associate here, BRAINUS, to talk to him for just a bit." She gave a big smile to Ditey. "You understand, of course."

"Of course." Ditey sent a smile back at her, her hand becoming a tight fist, thinking very unpleasant things about her new Muse friend that dragged off Brainus.

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Mismatched stopped a while a way, looking over her shoulder at Ditey, who was currently ignoring Ash's attempts to annoy her.

"Why are you talking to her?"

"What do you mean?" Brainus said.

Mismatched frazzled her hair with her hands and let out a frustrated sound. "Brainus! We don't know her. For all we know she could be from the Dark Side sent to sabotage our mission!"

"Mismatched, I think you're overreacting."

"Overreacting? I've SEEN THE SLIDESHOW! I attended the Orientation lecture! They said trust no one!"

"Ditey's harmless. If anything, she could help us."

"How?"

"For one, Ditey is one of my aunt's romance muses. Two, she's covering up for her friend up the hill who she thinks I haven't seen yet. Three, she has a crush on me. Four, I suspect the reason the two Muses are even down here on Earth is to help us with our goal."

"...Oh."

"Now we can't waste anymore time than we already have. It's been at least a couple of weeks in the mortal realm since I departed. I hate to think what kind of havoc Helga could reek in Arnold's body."

"You..."

Brainus turned around. "What?"

Mismatched fumbled with her fingers and looked away, blushing. "You don't like her, do you?"

Brainus bit his lip. "That's awfully forward of you to ask."

Mismatched blurted out, "Do you?!"

He sighed. How could he answer that question about Helga so soon to someone he didn't know? "No. I don't like her." He heard her sigh of relief and looked her in the eyes. "I love her." He walked off to the group, wondering why he felt a pang of regret at the statement.

Mismatched kept herself from crying when she heard him admit for his feelings for this new Muse, Ditey. Why should she care so much if her new friend liked someone else? She should be happy for him. Besides, she should know better by now. Love never came naturally to her. Not when she was alive, not now when she became a Muse. This is why she was the Muse of Mismatched Romances... love was a broken jigsaw puzzle for her to solve.

"Well," she said to no one in particular. "If he loves her, I'm going to accept it. He deserves love. Everyone deserves love." She sniffled. Everyone but me.

She walked off to the group after she was sure she wasn't crying anymore. She had a job to do: Helga and Arnold needed to find each other before it was too late.

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Venus giggled happily when she looked into the pool of water, watching the exchanges between her nephew and the new Muse, Mismatched. Yes, it was going splendidly. Everything was going according to plan. They were stuck on Earth with no powers, those two Muses had stubbornly transported down to Earth to make things more complicated than they had to be... and already there was a misunderstanding between the two young lovers!

"Woot!! Marigold, put on some Beavis and Butthead! I feel like celebrating right now!" She skipped out the room.

To Be Continued!

Ha ha ha ha. Yup. Still looking for a job. Also, did you like the clever little references? I did!