The dreaded day has come. It is a day I knew was to eventually arrive, but I did not think it would be here so soon. Alan Rickman has passed away. I don't think I need to explain to you how deeply this has destroyed me. I'm finding it difficult to come back to this story, but, alas I came back and finished the chapter I had been working on. If you are reading this fanfic, then I can assume that you are also a fan of Alan's work and are sharing in my misery. Words cannot even describe the despair I feel as I wake each morning to remember that he is gone from this world. I can't change it. I can't go back. I can't do anything except carry on, as that is all anyone can do. I didn't know him and I think what hurts the most is now I will never know him. I will never meet him just once, as I had hoped someday I might. Once again, though, we cannot go back in time. There is no use living with regrets that were out of your control. We can only remember him and honor him with wonderful stories. I have no doubt that he probably would have laughed at this fanfic, rather than enjoyed it, but it's the best I can do, you know? All I can do is keep writing this story and hope there are readers out there who enjoy it and feel closer to Alan Rickman as they read it, even though my portrayal of him is my own and not exactly as he was in the books or the movies. I hope somewhere up there, Alan has wifi access and can see this. Either that or just please hear my thoughts and prayers, along with everyone else who is down here grieving over you. I doubt the pain will ever fully go away…

Anyway, allow me to somehow move on and discuss the chapter. After doing some research, I found out that it is insinuated that kids usually get their Hogwarts acceptance letter around their eleventh birthday. Here I was thinking that everyone got them the summer before they were supposed to go. So, for the story's sake, let's not focus too much on that detail. Lucinda's birthday is sometime in the winter and the fight with her mother in Cokeworth takes place somewhere in June. This is vital information and cannot be changed. Enjoy this chapter and the ones that will follow, because I will never let go of this story.

Chapter 26

There was nowhere for him to go; nowhere for him to escape. He couldn't keep bothering the only friend he had. He felt like a burden on her anyway. She smiled and laughed as he spoke, but he knew she was a friend and nothing more. Lately, she'd been spending more and more time with that piece of shit Potter, as well. It really didn't even make sense. James was so full of himself. He was deliberately nasty to Lily and what did the girl go and do? She befriended him! She took all of his teasing and arrogance and flashy personality and just accepted it! There was a bitterly savage part of him that knew she was only that way, because the two of them were both Gryffindors. They stuck together like some segregated, oh-holier-than-thou. Those smug bastards walked around like they were rulers of the school. They looked down on the Slytherins. All of them did. Well… all of them except Lily. Lily was kind and sweet to the core and it was only a matter of time before Severus messed it up... Perhaps he already had.

The sixteen year old boy kicked at the dirt beneath his feet and trudged on, wishing with all his might he was allowed to do magic at home. He wanted to set the surrounding buildings on fire. There was no one in them anyway. He didn't necessarily want to hurt anyone; he just wanted to destroy something. He wanted to walk beneath the murky water that flowed to his left, down in the disgusting river. For a moment, he even thought seriously about it. It was below him, through the brush and the trash. Severus decided to walk down to the water's edge. Maybe he would make his decision once he was down there, staring at his hideous reflection in the brown water.

He was halfway down the slope, when there was a loud POP. It crackled through the air and he knew the sound well. It was someone apparating. That meant they were not a muggle. Severus couldn't help but feel an excitement stir in his stomach. Lily was the only other non-muggle in that town (that he'd noticed, anyway). They didn't know how to apparate yet (or, more so, they weren't supposed to know how to apparate yet), so he also knew that this person was not Lily. It was a whole new magical person, there, in Cokeworth (in the dirtiest neighborhood, no less) and he wanted to see them. He instantly wanted to know why anyone else would come to such a mundane place if they had mystic blood running through them.

Severus crouched down and then slithered on his belly back up the slope again to stare over the top. He saw no one at first. After all, the popping sound was somewhat far off. It was like a car backfiring, if anyone else had heard it. Severus, however, knew that it was a witch or a wizard and he waited until they made themselves visible.

There was a moment that passed and then suddenly the silent street ahead was disrupted by the soft pattering of running feet. Severus saw red and it was the very first thing that made itself known. It was a small, jumping blur at first, but then it neared him. Immediately following this, he saw black, curling hair whip past him in another blur of blue jeans and a red blouse. She looked to be hardly old enough to be on her own, but maybe she was just short for her age. She couldn't have apparated, could she? That would be obsurd. Still, he continued to watch, because now he wanted to know why the girl was running. Several moments later, however, before she could get very far away, there was another person who ran onto the street, following the little girl. Severus felt just the slightest inclination to run after them, to make sure nothing happened to the child, but he knew he shouldn't get involved. Instead he creeped along the river bank and tried to keep the two within eyesight.

"Stop it! Stop running!"

"Leave me alone!"

"Lu—Lucinda please… Please, stop!"

It was not hard to figure out that this was mother and daughter. They looked so much alike… Severus' previous inclination dissipated, as the mother obviously had concern in her voice, not anger. He wondered if he'd be able to keep up with the scene, though, because he kept tripping over the roots of trees in his scramble to not lose them. Luckily for him the mother caught up with the daughter in the next second and he was able to catch his breath. He lay down against the ground again and watched from the brush that surrounded him.

"Let go of me!"

"Lucinda, why did you do this?! Why did you leave on your own like this?!"

"I'm going to Hogwarts and you're not stopping me! You can't stop me!"

"You don't understand. You can't go. The… The letter was a mistake."

"You're just jealous, because you wish you could go back!"

Severus clenched his fists as he watched. So they were witches. At least, the mother was. The daughter was still under determination. What did this mean? Could someone get a Hogwarts letter by accident; by mistake? There was no way. Dumbledore wouldn't make a mistake like that. So, why was she not going? And what were they doing here in such a terrible place?

"We are going home."

"No! NO! Get—off—"

The girl's long, unruly curls bounced as she tried to struggle away from the woman. It looked like she'd had her hair pulled up into a ponytail hours ago, but now her hair had fallen. She must have been traveling for some time. There was a smudge of dirt under her delicate chin and sweat that shined on her temples. Her fury was building and he could almost feel it through the smoggy air. It was like water beginning to boil, more and more violently. He thought he could even hear it.

"Stop it!" The woman screamed and then shook the girl. "STOP IT, LUCINDA! You are never going there, so stop this!"

The girl finally pushed away from the woman and took a step back.

"I HATE YOU!" She screamed and there was a small explosion behind Severus. He turned around to see that a whirl pool had formed in the center of the dirty river. He didn't ponder it too long, though, because the child continued to scream through the street. "You are not my mother! I am not your daughter! You don't deserve me as a daughter! How could someone do this to their own flesh and blood?! That is the reason I don't believe that you're my mother! In fact, I wish that you weren't! I wish I lived with someone else! I wish I was the daughter of a successful witch, instead of you who doesn't care about me at all! I hate you! I HATE YOU—!"

Severus tried not to move as he saw the woman throw an arm out toward the girl. He thought she was going to choke her when she grabbed for her neck, but then he saw something silver reflect in the June sun above. It was a chain around the girl's neck. Her mother grabbed it and yanked. There was the faintest pop as the chain audibly broke. The little girl screamed and crouched down on the ground, but the mother obviously snatched up whatever was there before the girl could.

"No!" the girl cried in panic. "Please, give it back! Please!"

"This isn't fitting for my daughter. You will never get this back and you will never go to that school!"

It wasn't the chain that flew through the air and glimmered against the sky. It was something else. It was an object and Severus realized it was something that was on the chain. The mother still clasped the chain in her hand and he saw it swinging limply between her fingers. The little girl had dropped to her knees and wailed. Her hands covered her face and her sobs wracked the quiet street in misery.

"You threw it… You threw my pendant… Mama—"

"We're going home."

"M-Mama… How… c-could you—"

Severus held his breath. There hadn't been a scene like this in Cokeworth before. This town was as muggle-ridden as it got. It was dull and dirty and pathetic. The air was hard to breathe sometimes. It was just so hard to breathe sometimes… But, right then, in that moment, Severus thought that perhaps it was the little girl who was having trouble breathing. She hiccupped and sobbed. She fell to the side, grinding her pretty, red blouse in the pale dirt. Her dark hair came loose from her ponytail the rest of the way and rubbed into the dirt, as well. She wrapped her hands around her head and the cries of misery from her were almost too much to take.

"Come on, my darling…" the woman spoke softly and knelt beside the crying child. "Let's go home."

The girl lay limp and didn't even fight her mother as the woman scooped her up in her arms. She cradled her daughter against her chest and then in a POP they disapparated. Severus still watched the place where they had been, perhaps waiting for them to show up again, but they didn't. He didn't even know you could apparate or disapparate with another person who couldn't… Maybe they would learn about that later on at school…

Oh, school.

Severus straightened up from his spot by the riverbank and looked around him. That girl might have gone to Hogwarts that coming year, but apparently she wasn't… It was strange. Severus thought about it for a while. He searched the grass and the sticks and eventually found the pendant that the woman had thrown. It looked like something a Slytherin would wear. She could have been in his house… Severus shook his head and his greasy black hair fell in his eyes. He stuck the pendant in his pocket and walked back home. For some reason, he knew he would never see the little girl again. He kept the silver and emerald treasure and forgot about her, knowing that it was logical to do so.

Snape woke with a shuddering gasp. It was strange to open his eyes and stare upon the low ceiling of his parent's house looking back at him. For a moment, he thought he was still in his dream. He expected to see the ceiling of his room at Hogwarts, but all he saw was the cobweb-covered, warped wood of his childhood home. He still technically lived there, but only in the summertime. It was not summer, though. It was the week before Christmas. The sky outside was clouded over and, because of that, the light inside the house was so dim it could have been dusk. Snape sat up on his bed and rubbed the back of his neck. Something scratched him and he brought his hand in front of his face. The pendant from his dream peered out from between his fingers. He'd held onto it while he slept. The emeralds glimmered up at him in what little light came through the dingy curtain in his bedroom. What time was it, though? What day was it? How long had he been out and why?

He looked to the side of the bed and there sat a half-bottle of brandy, which had been full the night before. Oh right, he thought. That's why. He hadn't planned to drink himself into unconsciousness, but the memories came flooding back to him the moment he retrieved the pendant from beneath the floor of his old bedroom (which was now his study). He held it in his hand and he suddenly felt so god damned foolish. He had forgotten her, just as he had deliberately done. It was easy enough to do. He'd only seen her for a few minutes and then never again… Not until he was a teacher at Hogwarts and she was the new student in her Seventh year; the same one whom he had wished would be in his house, but wasn't. He couldn't put two and two together, not until she'd told her story the day before. He had forgotten her name. He had forgotten her fight with her mother in the street. He had forgotten about the little girl who was forced to never go to Hogwarts.

So many things were finally making sense; the whirl pool in the water behind him that day. She could control water, even when she wasn't meaning to. Her mother said the letter was a mistake, much like the moment this year when she said something very similar to her daughter again.

We made a mistake. We never should have let you come to this place.

Hadn't he faced a sudden longing to protect the girl once they met? Though, he did fight those same feelings again and again. Still, he later fought to keep her at Hogwarts… He had been very passionate about it. It was important to him, but why? Why had he not seen it? Why had he not remembered her? Why had he been so adamant to forget her forever?

Severus stood and stretched and walked from the room, down the stairs and into the small sitting room. The grandfather clock to the side of the cold fireplace told him it was nearly seven-thirty in the morning. He only had a short time to get back to Hogwarts before breakfast started and Lucinda saw that he was still not there. He didn't come back the night before in time for supper. In all honesty, he was on his second glass of brandy by then, listening to the radio and staring at the pendant in his hand. He eventually drank too much and then fell asleep, which resulted in his very over-active brain replaying a scene from his childhood that he hadn't thought of in six years… Merlin, had it really only been a few years since… everything?

"Lucy, come on!"

Lucinda looked up from her bag that she was rummaging through. "Oh! Hang on a sec—" she mumbled and finished repositioning the bottles in her bag so that the zipper would close. She probably didn't need to bring all of those ingredients (seeing as she probably still had plenty in her room at home), but she brought it all anyway.

They were all in the entrance hall, saying goodbye to teachers and friends, wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. There were only a few minutes left before the train left for Kings Cross Station and then she wouldn't be back for a couple of weeks. She was excited, but saddened at the same time. She was really going to miss all of her friends and the school and the daily meals with everyone… her boyfriend… the library, the Gryffindor common room, the astronomy tower, the Black Lake… But most of all, she was going to miss professor Snape. She had been spending so much free-time with him lately and they were having really good conversation (for the most part, anyway). Just like with her other friends, every moment spent with him made her feel like she was progressing in her life. She felt herself growing and enjoying just being alive and at Hogwarts. It was only a little time away from all of that, but it saddened her just the same. It might have only been because Severus had still not shown up… He never made it to dinner the night before and he hadn't been at breakfast that morning, either. Now everyone was leaving to catch the train. She wasn't going to get to say goodbye…

Aurora stood a few paces ahead of Lucinda with her brother in the front doorway and they both waved for her to hurry.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Lucinda called and walked quickly to catch up with them. Other students passed in and out of the doors, some running to say goodbye to a teacher and others hurrying to fetch wands they'd left in their dormitories. Lucinda jostled past them and reached her friends. They were all just starting down the steps outside, when Lucinda was gruffly pulled back and two strong arms wrapped around her from behind, causing her to drop her bag. Lucinda's eyes went wide in fear, but Aurora rolled her own golden ones after looking over the girl's shoulder. Then she continued on with Clover (the latter looking just a little less peppy than usual). The Borealis twins left for the carriages on their own.

"Tristin," Lucinda gasped as she turned around in the boy's arms. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"If that's the only way I'm going to give you one, then yes." He said shortly.

Lucinda arched an eyebrow at his obviously negative demeanor. "What's wrong?" She asked, reaching a hand up to touch his cheek. "You're not normally like this. You're usually really happy…"

Tristin's pale face fell a little and he looked down. "I'm sorry. I'm just going to miss you so much. I was hoping we could spend our first Christmas together, you know?"

"You know I told my parents I'd go home. It's only for a couple of weeks."

The glossy eyebrows of the boy drew together in sadness. "Just don't find someone else during break."

Lucinda looked at him with stagger. "You're joking, right?" She laughed. "The only people I'm going to be seeing are my cousins and stuff… and maybe Aurora's family for a night, but we'll see."

"If you say so…" He muttered with a shrug.

Lucinda smiled and leaned up to kiss him. He had been pouting a little, but her lips seemed to wake him up from his depression and he turned right back into the seducing Slytherin he had been before. One of his hands twisted in her hair and his tongue invaded her mouth to force itself against her own. While their lips moved in unison, Tristin's unoccupied hand traveled the length of the girls back and down to her bottom. His fingers stretched open wide, gathering a handful of one butt cheek and then squeezed. Before thoughts could be formed, he used his new grip on her to pull her body tightly against him. His pelvis pressed against hers and she felt what was unmistakably his arousal. Lucinda broke the kiss and gasped. "T-Tristin—" she stammered in an uneven breath.

"Oh, say my name again..." he moaned quietly against her mouth.

"Tristin, please," she whispered back, putting her hands against his chest to push on him slightly. "Someone will see."

"That's what I want," he replied evilly and there was a darkness that flashed in his bright eyes.

Her stomach did a flip. She couldn't tell if it was from excitement or anxiousness. "Why would you want—" Lucinda began to say, but she was interrupted by a voice behind her at the bottom of the steps.

"There is probably a time and a place for such a display of affection, but it is definitely not the front steps of the castle, Samael."

Lucinda felt her throat go dry at the sound. She didn't want to turn around. She was embarrassed beyond words, especially since (to her absolute horror) Tristin still had his hand on her ass. She even thought she felt him squeeze it again after the voice spoke.

"Oh, come now, professor," Tristin replied, staring over the girl's shoulder. "I'm not going to see my love for two whole weeks and I want to get my feel-ups in while I can."

Lucinda pushed against the boy's chest hard and he stumbled back. "You're the worst." She ground out angrily and bent down to snatch up her bag. "I'm going now. I'll see you soon."

A hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled her back up again. "Don't be that way, my love," Tristin cooed, holding her in his arms again. "I was only joking. You know that, don't you?" He stared down into her eyes, noses touching; hand stroking lightly on the side of her face.

Lucinda sighed uncomfortably. Any moment now Severus was going to rip them apart, or say something awful or take points from Gryffindor or… would he take points from Slytherin? She was about to struggle away from the boy again when she needn't worry at all. Snape had already stalked passed them up the steps and was walking through the front doors. He didn't glance at her, at all. His demeanor was careless and crisp, as it always was. He didn't care anymore that she was dating Tristin?

"Professor Snape!" Lucinda called without thinking. The man stopped dead in his tracks and Tristin's grip on her tightened painfully. She ignored it and continued to stare at the back of Severus's head. She hadn't meant to sound so panicked. She didn't want anyone getting the wrong idea, but seeing the man walk away from her without so much as a goodbye glance or a wave of his hand was forming something so detestable in her that the words spilled from her mouth without a thought of consequence. It was obvious that Tristin was not happy with what she had just done; especially when she pulled her gaze away from her professor to look at the boy in the face. "I'm sorry, Tristin, I still need to ask a couple of questions about the potion I'm working on before the train leaves. I'll see you soon, though." In the corner of her eye, she saw Snape turn around to look at them.

"Write to me." Tristin said stiffly, but he wasn't looking at her. He was looking away. She was sad to see that there was some hurt in his eyes and she hoped she was wrong.

"I will." She smiled and kissed him again. It was brief and he kissed her back greedily, but he did not look at her again as he turned and left. Lucinda felt something stir in her chest as Tristin and Severus crossed paths at the top of the steps. They turned and looked directly at each other as they passed. There was a slight pause, but there was an undeniable glare that was exchanged between the both of them. Lucinda had never seen Tristin make such a face at his superior before. There was something changing. It was something that she didn't even know existed in the first place. All she knew was that something was changing and the feelings in her chest wouldn't go away.

Nothing was said between the two men. They straightened their gazes in front of them again; Tristin went inside and Snape finished his descent on the stairs until he stood in front of the girl. He looked her face over. The traces of anger were gone from his eyes and now he simply stared at her. "What is it, Lucinda?" He asked quietly, but he still wasn't looking her in the eye; he was trailing his eyes up along her forehead and then drifting them back down to stare at her nose or her mouth or chin; she didn't know.

"I hate to make you follow me, but I don't want to miss the train," she said apologetically. "Do you mind walking with me, while we talk?"

Her professor nodded gently. "Let's go, then." He said in that same quiet voice. He held a hand out for her to grab and she took it. Fingers clasped tightly against his as she allowed him to lead her down the steps. Once at the bottom, she let go, but he thought her fingertips dragged just slightly and in just such a way against his palm that it must have meant something. However, he shook the thought away instantly and swallowed his pride.

"What is it about your potion that you have questions about?" he asked as they walked. "You know I have just as much, if not less, knowledge on whatever you're experimenting with."

"I know…" she replied quietly. "I really just wanted to have a moment to talk with you… Where have you been?"

Severus looked down briefly and then returned his wanderings to the path in front of them. The carriages were at the end of the declining hill they were on, just at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. He put his hands in his pockets beneath his cloak and breathed out, watching the steam spread out in a cloud ahead of them. "I had some business to attend to."

"Could it not have waited until the Holiday?" she asked. "What kind of business was it?"

"I guess it could have waited…" he replied and ignored the second question. "I am not as disciplined as I thought I was."

Lucinda let a sigh escape her to turn into another cloud of fog in front of them. She was too comfortable. She should have felt nervous walking so casually with her professor, but she didn't. She peacefully enjoyed it. "So, you're going home for Christmas?"

Snape looked down at her. Their eyes met for the first time that day and he suddenly felt compelled to spill everything to her. "I was going to…" He trailed off, while his eyes did their own trailing over her face again. "But I am not certain, yet. I do not particularly enjoy being there."

"Oh…" Lucinda replied and returned her gaze to the carriages ahead. She could just make out Clover and Aurora climbing into one. She hitched the bag on her arm a little higher, holding the strap at her shoulder.

"Why don't you let me carry that?"

Snape had stopped and was holding his palm out. The girl stopped as well, looking sideways at the man. "I can do it."

"So can I," he replied with a sneer. "It's only to the carriage. That's where I'll leave you."

Lucinda felt a hard ball of angst form at the base of her throat. "You're not coming to the train? Aren't you going home?"

"I told you I wasn't certain I was going yet," he said offhand and reached for the bag on her shoulder. "It's a terrible place. I'm better suited for Hogwarts. Besides, I would simply apparate. When is the last time you saw a teacher on the Hogwarts Express?"

Lucinda shrugged off the bag and he took it from her, slinging it over his own shoulder. "Never, I guess…" she mumbled and walked forward again. Snape followed.

They hiked on in silence for the next few minutes and Lucinda's anxiety built. She didn't know where it was coming from. She just kept getting a sick feeling in her stomach, like something bad was going to happen. She and Severus were becoming good friends and this was going to be the first time they parted. It was giving her a first-hand experience at what it was going to be like when she graduated and left Hogwarts for good. She would move on with her life and Severus would be there, at the school, teaching new students. The dreaded thoughts had arisen again and were tormenting her. She had to stop thinking about it and just live in the present. If they were friends now, surely they would still be friends after she left Hogwarts…

"You know, Xavier isn't going home either," Lucinda said, trying to distract herself. "He was really vague about it. He said this is the first year he'll stay at Hogwarts during the holidays."

"Mm." Snape acknowledged. They were drawing closer to the carriages. He had to say something to her; now or never.

"Do you know his parents or grandparents? Or who he lives with?"

Snape regarded her with a questioning eye. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, it was just strange," she shrugged and looked ahead. "He pretty much said that he wanted to go home, but couldn't. He said he didn't want to cause any 'unnecessary fights'. How am I supposed to hear something like that and not wonder what's going on?"

"It's best to leave it alone."

Lucinda turned a hardened eye on the man at her side. "Why?" She asked quickly. "What do you know?"

"I know more than most at Hogwarts, but it is not something that should be brought up around your friend."

"How can I bring something up that I know nothing about?" She asked with a laugh.

Severus stopped walking and turned to face her. Lucinda stopped, as well, and turned a little. He looked down at her with a stern expression and she was instantly reminded of professor McGonagall.

"What?" She asked, beginning to feel guilty under his gaze.

"Do not say anything to him." Snape said seriously; too seriously.

Lucinda replied instantly with an "okay".

Then he turned and continued toward the carriages, which were close enough now to see the frost still lingering on the dark wood. Lucinda followed in silence, yet again, except now she felt worse than ever.

Neither had said anything, still, once the girl had climbed into one of the carriages. Snape leaned halfway in to toss her bag on the seat in front of her and his cloak brushed across her shoulder. Lucinda smelled cinnamon and she bit her lip, as her mind tried to remember the scent. "Severus," she said in a rush and grabbed the retreating arm that was still halfway inside the compartment. Snape stopped and leaned back in.

"You're going to be late." He warned gently and slowly pulled his arm from her. Her fingers slid against the black cloth until they reached his hand and there she held fast again.

"Wait—" she said with a rise in her voice. Her hands clasped against his tightly and her eyes wandered over his face; she tried to study every feature etched into it. "Wait, please, Severus."

"Gryffindor Girl, what has gotten into you?" He asked softly and brought his other hand forward to lay over hers. "Why do you sound so frightened? What is it?"

"I have a bad feeling," she admitted, eyes moving frantically back and forth over his face. "I just have a bad feeling. Please, write to me while I'm gone. Please, stay in contact with me."

Severus took a turn searching her face. Her eyes were creased with a terror she'd never shown before and, hell, it was kind of scaring him, too. Could she possibly have some Seer blood in her? Was she predicting his imminent death over Christmas break? Or was it her own? "Lucinda…" Snape began and then decided to climb into the carriage with her for a moment. He pushed her bag close to the compartment wall and then sat down across from her. She still had ahold of one of his hands and he replaced his other one on top of hers again. He squeezed gently and looked into the dark eyes that stared back at him with worry. "Lucinda, what are you afraid of?"

The girl's lips trembled slightly as she parted them. "Never seeing you again…" she whispered.

Snape looked down at their hands. She didn't act this way with Samael when they said their goodbyes. She was dating the little prick and she hardly gave him a second glance as he walked away. Snape tried not to let his ego swell, but swell it did. It was painful watching the wretched boy grope her right in front of him, but touching in such a way did not always mean love. It did not mean she even liked him all that much. In fact, she seemed to be quite upset he'd even done it. Yes, this was looking good. She was having her moment of testing the Samael swamp waters and did she like it? No, it didn't seem that way, did it? She seemed pretty indifferent about the boy most of the time, but was she now sitting there, clinging so desperately to yours truly? Yes, she was… and it was invigorating.

"You will see me again, Lucinda," Snape said with a smirk and brought a hand away from hers to cup the side of her face. "You act as if this is goodbye. It is not."

"How do I know that for sure?" She asked quietly. "I mean, the Dagala culprit is still at-large. Nothing has happened yet and I get a terrible feeling that now is when they're going to show themselves."

"Now, you're just being paranoid. No one is going to poison you in your own home."

"I'm not talking about me!" She snapped. "What if they meant to hurt you all along? It was your classroom, after all. What if something happens while I'm not—"

Snape slid his hand up from her jaw and over her mouth. "Shh, stop it," he whispered and leaned in close to her face. "You're being irrational and you are about to be late for the train. Do you think that I am a helpless man? You have no idea what I am capable of. Don't fear for my life. Fear for your own."

Lucinda's brow drew down and she pursed her lips slightly. This caused Severus to feel the movement of her mouth against his palm and goosebumps rose on the back of his neck and across his shoulders.

"Lucinda, I—" Snape swallowed roughly and tried to continue, though he kept his hand over her mouth. This was probably because he didn't want her to interrupt him and stop him from what he was about to say. "I need to tell you something."

She held her breath and the palm against her lips started to sweat. "Mmf?" she muffled through it.

"I need you to know something about me…" he continued. "If this friendship that we have is ever going to… grow, then I need you to know some things about me. I need you to hear about things that I have done. You deserve to know the kind of man that you're so inclined to be around, because perhaps if you really knew these things, then you might not be so… so unyielding about getting close to me."

Lucinda let go of his other hand and brought her own up to the one that covered her mouth.

"I have been a very bad person in my past," he continued again and Lucinda grabbed ahold of his fingers and tried to peel them back. "I have done things that would make your mother not only hate me, but despise me with a burning revulsion. I also fear that you, too, will feel that way."

When Lucinda couldn't pry the hand away, she did the only other thing she could think of and bit down on it.

"Shit!" Snape exclaimed and pulled his hand away from the clamping teeth. "What was that for?!" He shook his fingers out to ease the pain, but the look in her eyes was more painful than the bite. "What?" he said again.

Lucinda leaned forward and sunk her face into his neck, wrapping her arms around his back, beneath his cloak. "I will never feel that way about you." She mumbled against him. "Why would you put that in my head right now?"

Her hair smelled like the cold and with just a hint of orchids. "Lucinda…" is all he said and put his arms around her. Despite his original statement, the moment was gone and he told her nothing. They said their goodbyes and that was it. They both promised to write and Lucinda's face turned to a rosy red when he placed a chaste kiss to her forehead before departing the carriage. Another moment passed and she was bumping along the path on her own, heading for Hogsmeade Station and the Hogwarts Express.