- Caleb pov -

I slept soundly until few hours of morning. Then I was suddenly totally awake. I have a bit of headache and I go to toilet, get some painkiller and drink water. I look myself from mirror and wonder why I have this terrible feeling that I have done something wrong. What had I done? Then I realized that it must be because of Cara. I haven't treated her well, I should have been a better man. After all she was expecting my child, even though I haven't wanted it nor we haven't planned to have another child. She had done wrong but so had I, I wasn't any better than she was. I sighted, took my phone. It was 4:07 am, too early to call for her. I sent a text message. "Cara, I'm sorry, I haven't done justice for you. I want to meet you, talk with you. Call when I can come." Then all I can do is wait. I go back to bed, reorganize pillows and blankets, trying to catch sleep once again. I look to my phone, it's 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, 15 minutes since I send that message.

She doesn't reply, she's probably asleep, like any sane human is in these hours. I cannot sleep anymore so I get out from bed, go to look out from window. City is really dark, only few lights here and there. I pressed my forehead against the window, I want to see the view, not my reflection. There is a helicopter flying over city, then landing on some rooftop not far away. Sirens wail, then comes silence once again. Then it hits me, I realized that I had hurt the woman I had loved so long, the woman that I promised to cherish, honor, who I still loved, despite my words I said to her when I was angry, hurt. I couldn't have hurt her more even with beating, I had left her alone in my bitter anger and jealousy. I had thought that everything was fine between us, that we had solved our problems and I didn't support her, listen what she had to say. I had been too much away, concentrating on myself and my career. I realize that this all had been my fault, Cara haven't been happy with me, I haven't supported her like I should have. She wouldn't have gone with Matthew if I had been enough for her.

Finally treas dry and I feel drenched. I sigh, look to phone. No messages, no calls, it's still too early. I drink some water, eat a banana and an apple and wait, wait, wait. Then, at 6:48 comes message "If you want to come, be here at 8:30, I have doctors appointment then. You can be there too." I feel sudden bang of relief, she wants me there or at least she allows me to be there. I think that I have a chance, she haven't totally shut me out from everything. Maybe I can turn this better, create a peace between us. She had sounded so hurt last night when we talked on phone, so depressed and I have an urge to make her feel better. I look to watch, I have little less than two hours time and I know what I need to do, something that I always do to make her feel better.

First I go to buy green apples, they where her favorite when she was carrying Beata. Then I go to local bakery, it has just opened doors and find some big pretzels, not the same but close enough which Cara craved when she was expecting Allen. Then is one last thing, a bouquet of red roses. I hope she accepts my apologize. I take a taxi to hospital, it's quite far away from hotel. It takes little time to find the right ward and then I have to ask from nurses to right room. Nurse looks me thoroughly before leading me to room 7, Cara's room. She is there, resting, looking small, fragile, pale, hurt. "Good morning mrs Prior, how are you feeling?". She looks to nurse and manages to smile a bit when answering "I'm doing better, no more bleeding and I haven't vomited this morning, little nausea still.". She looks back to me. "I didn't think that you would come" she states and I blush a bit. "I wanted to come." Nurse looks from me to her and backs from room "I come to take you when the doctor is ready and I will bring a vase for those flowers.". Then she's gone and we are together. Cara looks away.

"Cara, I'm sorry, I didn't treat you like I should have. I was still too hurt, too jealous, too selfish...". She cuts my explanation "And too relieved when I told that doctors think that I may have a miscarriage, I heard it from your voice and from your responce." She surely sounds bitter now. "Cara, you know me. You remember how it was when you told that you were expecting Beata, you remember my reactions back then, it's not more than little over year ago." She still looks away and nods. "You really have made it perfectly clear that you don't want me or my children in your life, we are just a burden for you and you are glad when you can get rid of us by divorcing me." I sigh, I know that I have been a total idiot, but it hurts to hear her say that.

I walk to other side of bed, wanting her to look to me. "Cara, please, listen. I know that I did wrong to you, I didn't listen what you said.". Finally she looks to me and I can see that she is sad but angry at same time. "Yes, that's the problem. You don't listen what I say. You get angry, do irrational decisions and then just bring some stupid presents like flowers or something to eat and think that all is okay after that. Forgiven and forgotten." She is scolding me and I cannot do anything else than nod. That is what I do. "I just wanted you to be a man, I wanted you to say aloud your feelings and show them, I wanted to hear you to say that you love me, out in public where someone other might have heard that. I wanted you to hold my hand, kiss me, embrace me out in public, no matter who else is there. You were too prevented, never showed your emotions. Never said how proud you were on your kids." I see tears come to her eyes and she wipes them away, angrily. "You always made me feel so... little, naive, stupid and minor, compared to you. You never showed your true feelings, you never said them out aloud. It was just the silence that was too much and you made all big decisions without asking my opinion, like should you become a politician instead of a scientist, should you run for this election to Government, you even said how many children we should have. When we were just dating you said you want many children, when Allen was born you said that it's enough. You never asked my opinion. Just brought some flowers and chocolate and thought thats fine by it, end of discussion which we never ever had. Like you were the man, head of the house and only one that mattered, no matter what I think or what my feelings are, no matter how you had hurt me, little flowers and something sweet works for little lady every time."

I just listen her, let her talk everything out. Then it hits me, she is talking in past tense, like everything is all over for her. She had been the one that was begging me not to get divorce, begging me to come back, following me up to Providence. Now she is talking like this? There were a different note in her speech yesterday and last week. What had changed her mind? I had though that it would be easy, just to say that I apologize, I'm sorry, I was an idiot and that would solve much, even if I cannot forget I can try to forget. "I cannot promise that I can change but if you want I'm willing to do my best. If you want I will hold your hand, support you. I have never thought that you were some sort of minor to me. When I saw you giving birth to Allen I knew that I never ever want to make you go through that pain again. Seeing you suffering almost broke my heart and even though having Allen is one of best things in my life, losing you would have been too much for a price. And I was scared of that." She turns her head away and I don't know what she is thinking. I wait for some answer when the nurse comes with a wheelchair. "Okay, mrs Prior, the doctor will see you now. You can push her to examination room 2, mr Prior." She takes the vase from wheelchair and smiles to us "And I put these lovely roses to water, it was really nice for you to bring those." She chatters like she doesn't sense the hostile atmosphere in room.

Cara gets to wheelchair with pointing out "I can walk, you know." and I smile "I can push you and I think that it's hospitals policy that you need to be pushed.". Nurse points to right "You go to right and at the end of corridor turn left. The examination room is on right hand side, third door if I remember correctly." I follow her instructions and there it is, just like she said. Door is little bit open and I knock to it and follow the "come in" order.

Doctor is an older male, about same age that my father would be if he had lived. He stands up when we get in and asks Cara to climb to examination table. She nods and smiles a bit, I can see that she is really nervous. "I ask just few questions first." He asks about Cara's periods, symptoms, medication before pregnancy, how much she had bleed and so on and so on. Then he looks to me. "You can sit there, I'm going to do a basic examination and you can hold your wifes hand during it. It shouldn't hurt but we need to check for what was the reason for bleeding. And then I do the ultrasound, I know it's an old technique but it's only liable on these early weeks, if you know how to use it right. I have to say that your blood results from this morning just came and hormone levels are way too high for miscarriage, so I don't believe that was the reason for bleeding but they were too high for pregnancy that is in fifth week also. But after examination we know more, that is sure."

He starts his routine, with little "Hmm, aha, hmmm, let's see" comments. Some time after he started a nurse steps in and he starts making the ultrasound examination and same time he does the dictation using mostly Latin words, nurse writes measurements and all down to pad with speed. I understand some and I know that Cara might understand more, but most of what he says doesn't make any sense to us. We look to each other, then to doctor, worried if there truly is something wrong. He takes really many measurements, calculations and make notes, prints pictures. It takes a long time before he turns to us and explains "As you can see from that monitor above, there is an ultrasound picture from uterus. And there is this big dark cloud of blood, it's going to bleed out on next days. But then there is also this". He gets a pointer pen and circles one black dot on screen "and when we zoom to that, inside is an very early stages of embryo. We cannot see the heart beat yet, maybe next week will show it. But the interesting thing here is this." He first zooms out, then bit to right or left, I don't know which way, and there is another black dot, little different shaped. "Here is an another one, very early staged embryo. So it seems that you are going to have twins, maybe there were third one but you have miscarried it and that is the reason for bleeding. Today is Tuesday so nurse will make a reservation for blood tests on Wednesday and on Friday and I will do another scan then. And I will describe some medication for you that helps with nausea, you can take it without any concerns, it's safe for both you, safe for you and the embryo I mean, safer than constant vomiting is. And when you get back to Chicago you should make an appointment to your own doctor.".

Cara climbs down from examination bed and sits back to wheelchair. I'm too stunned to do anything and Cara looks to me "Please, Caleb, get me back to my room." she asks and I finally stand up. Next thing that I know is that my legs fail and I fall to floor, unconscious. I don't know how long I was there, on the floor before I gain my consciousness, nurse is holding my legs high above my head and I feel myself ridiculous. Cara looks little pissed and nurse is very sympathetic, reassuring that "you are not the first father who faints out after hearing this big news." "I'm feeling okay" I tell to them and nurse looks to me "you look little pale, please don't pass out again." Cara looks to walls then to me "Just please Caleb, get your act together."

I take her to her room, she gets to bed and turns her back to me. "Cara, please, talk to me." I beg and she just waves by her hand "Caleb, please, go, let me be alone, let me think. I will call to you when I will be released from hospital, it seems that I will be hole week, in Providence I mean. If you can get a hotel room for me, it would be nicely done. But now, please go." I'm so shocked that I go, but from the door I turn and take a look to Cara. She is reaching for her phone and I feel little anger growing inside. She wants to talk with someone but not with me, her husband. It hurts, it truly hurts.

I walk out from hospital and just walk without a goal. I just keep on thinking what Cara had said and I know that she had a point in there. It's difficult for me to share my feelings, including with those who I love. I'm not used to it and it wasn't normal in my family when I was a child. I had tried and I had talked about that with Cara many times and still she didn't understand it, or so it seems. And then I wonder if Cara had told truth, obvious is that she is pregnant but I'm not sure if I can believe her in fatherhood case. Well, I cannot ask from Matthew if he's sterile or could I? And would he tell the truth?

I don't know how I ended up in here, but here I am, at Government main buildings. There was some happening in here and I take one brochure, look up how much a rental home would cost in here. They are definitely in higher prices than in Chicago and I think that we cannot, I cannot afford to have a rental apartment here and in Chicago. "Penny from your thoughts." I hear Four's voice and jump, then turn and sigh. "Nothing that valuable." He looks me worried and asks "Cara isn't feeling any better?" I know that I don't want to tell him about twins, about my visit in hospital and what Cara had said so I reply just like I haven't talked with her nor met her today. "I guess that she isn't, not sure. She was taken yesterday to hospital for some medication and fluids.". I can see a doubt in his look but leaves that issue, seeing that I don't want to talk about it. That's a relief and I must say that "I don't know if this is the right place for me to be, I don't think that I would be a good government member, you would do it much better. And with you as an opponent it's impossible for me to win." After being send out by Cara and seeing these prices for housing here I feel like there is no use for me to be part in this game. If it would be possible I would resign from campaign but I think that it's not possible. He misunderstands my feelings and motives and asks that if I should talk about my marriage and issues in it with some counselor or with him. When he offers that I can come with him I remember what Cara said that she will call to me. "I'm going to hospital, Cara will be released soon, they have done some studies today and she's released soon. I'm just waiting for her call." Then I realize that when I say it I admit that I had spoken with Cara and I know well how she is doing. He smiles to me, I guess that he noticed the same. He asks if we are coming to that charity event at evening but I don't want to promise anything. Then my phone rings, I take a look to it and see Cara's name. "Excuse me..." is all that I say to Four and walk away before answering.

"Hi Cara." Is what I say, I had many other lines in my mind but Four mixed my thoughts, once again. "Hi Caleb, can you come and pick me up at 2:30 pm?" She is so polite in her words. I breath out, smile "yes, I will be there by then."

I'm in time at hospital and once again I need to push wheelchair to front doors. Cara looks better than she was in morning, I note that she has some makeup on her face. That's probably the reason for difference. We get a taxi and through the mileage from hospital to hotel we sit in silence. I pay the taxi and we go in, Cara looks to me. "Did you get the room that I asked?" she asks and I shake my head. "If it's not too bad for you I would like you to stay in same room with me. Most of hotels are fully booked for this week, there is so many candidates with families and assistants so there isn't any extra rooms anywhere." I say and she thinks it for a long time "Then I guess that I don't have any other choice." she finally replies, she is seemingly reluctant to spend any more nights in same hotel room but that is the truth, there is no other rooms left in hole city. "No, unfortunately for you, if you want to see it in that way. But I don't, I want to talk with you, be with you and see if anything good comes out from this mess." She looks away then back to me. "The thing is now that I don't have much clothing and my nightgown and set of underwear was destroyed when I got hospitalized, they were soaked in blood and thrown away. So I need to do some shopping." I smile to her "I take you to some stores near this hotel and we will buy anything you need but only if you get a evening dress or two. I have four charity dinners that I should attend and I would very much like if you could be my date on those." I promise. "You are blackmailing me" she says but doesn't look angry. "Can you walk or should we take a taxi?" I ask and she glares to me. "I will walk, don't try to patronize me Caleb."

We have a nice afternoon together, she gets some underwear, some shirts and one set of trousers as wel as that nightgown. Evening dresses are harder to find, she protests that she won't fit in those long enough to make them reasonable in price, they are quite expensive. But then there is one bridal shop that is selling last seasons bridesmaids dresses on great discount, up to 70% and from there Cara finds one emerald green dress that fits her perfect and enhances her eyes color. She tries to protest but I insist that we buy this dress in this emerald color and then I pick the blue dress from hanger; same cut, same style, only difference is in color. "And this one. Then you need some shoes and an evening bag, I think." She just shakes her head but doesn't protest more. We have a lot to carry back to hotel.

We change our clothes, I help her to pull up the zipper in her dress. I look to her, she looks back to me. "You look so pretty" I say and she blushes a bit but replies "And you look so handsome.". She has put just a bit more of makeup and she surely looks radiant. "I called to my mother that I will stay here for rest of week and she was happy." I nod, this is not the right time to start this conversation again, but I bet that she has told everything to her mother, they are kind of close in that way. I just hope that Dara has said something to Cara that helps her, something comforting when I haven't been there supporting her. I hope that Dara doesn't hate me now, after this all. After all she is only grandmother to my son.

At winter gardens I'm blown away with the view, I haven't ever seen anything like that, there are plants that I didn't know that existed anymore. There are more flowers than I have seen anywhere, more exotic trees. I look from table chart where our table is, the Rose Wood and we are located near the kitchen, a nice table for 8, filled with wases full of roses in any color you can imagine. There is one couple seated already and after us two more comes, the men are candidates and they have their wifes as their companion. I try to look if I see anyone that I know but no luck so far. Just when they are starting the service I spot Alexa arriving with her father. I haven't met him, at least I don't remember that I have but Cara knows him, of course she does, I know it from how she looks to them. And I have to say that Alexa looks really pretty. Then I see that they are going to same table with Four and Alexa sits next to him. This can be interesting!

Dinner is good, we chat between the courses. From time to time I look to Cara, she is smiling, talking with men seated next to her, charming them, making them laugh. She is good in this, she should be a candidate, she could win the election. I notice that she doesn't drink the wine served on dinner and so does the woman seated on my right. "Is your pretty wife expecting?" she whispers and I just smile to her, not confirming anything. I'm not sure if Cara wants her pregnancy out and open for discussion and I turn conversation on her family. They have one foster girl who is five and half years old. "Oh, little older than my son, he will be four years at end of this year." I tell to her and she smiles. "They grow up so fast. We were unable to have any children on our own but then this foster girl was given to us like a gift from God. She is so flawless that you cannot imagine, pretty... She has been so happy when we got here and cannot wait for fun fair to open, that open air concert and that big fireworks show after that... oh, let me show her picture! I never get bored to do that, ask from Jim, he will tell the same – and show pictures like a proud daddy does."

She takes her phone from her evening bag and searches a while. "This was taken when Kiara was at preschool". I have lost my words, I'm looking older version of Beata, the girl on the picture could be her, only few years older, if not her then at least a big sister. Same kind of smile, same shape and color in eyes, same color in hair. She looks like Beata and more, she looks like Beatrice. This cannot be a coincidence, shivers go down on my spine and I look to Cara. More than ever I need to know who are Beata's biological parents. "Oh, your girl are truly really pretty! Excuse me, but where do you come from, I forgot if I asked that already." I manage say, but in truth I'm shocked. "We come from Milwaukee and you were from Chicago, if I remember correctly?" She replies. I manage to nod.