Welcome everyone to my very first story Black Madness. There will be some canon moments but most of it is strictly the result of my own twisted imagination set in the fun world of Harry Potter that JKR so kindly gifted us. There will be sex and violence but most of it will be suggested or referenced rather than actually described. This is a fem/fem story so if that kind of thing offends the please stop now.

I must give a nod to all those fanfic authors who inspired me to do this (special mentions to Nemesis13, SilentlyWatches and Philosophise) if you see any ideas recycled it is not intentional. Consider it a compliment to your genius.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they have become my new addiction.

Dylan the Rabbit. xx

BLACK MADNESS

The grim laughter of the snake faced man echoed among the small fleet of ships making their way to England filling the hearts of even his supporters with dread. They didn't know what he'd do to the enemy but the Dark Lord certainly scared the willies out of them.

CHAPTER 26.

North Sea Coast Near Croma, Norfolk. 31st October 1996. 05.00 a.m.

Finally they were here. The grinding, scraping sound of the ship grounding on the beach had barely started when Lord Voldemort leapt athletically from the prow to feel the heavy soil of his native country beneath his feet once more. His tall, slender form glided up the short slope and he spread his arms wide with a big grin on his snake like face before turning to call his forces ashore. And what forces they were. Twenty two large, ferocious, if not overly intelligent giants, forty eight Death Eaters and almost two hundred of the hardest and most vicious mercenaries he could find. The scum of Europe had gathered for the easy pickings that a complacent and under prepared wizarding Britain was said to be. They had been promised by the Dark Lord that this was definitely going to be the case as it was aways the way of things that wizards never learned from history. Voldemort's great liberation army was going to sweep aside the pitiful resistance of the Ministry and take out Dumbledore, the boy-who-lived and the great, deviant, libertine institution that was the House of Black.

After setting the giants and their handlers off to start their long journey to Scotland the rest of his army apparated to their various staging points around the country to await their respective orders. The three attacks would be co-ordinated to cause the maximum level of mayhem possible. They were going to seed fear and panic across wizarding Britain, making the job of taking out the power bases all the easier. Terror was Lord Voldemort's favourite weapon in his extensive arsenal and he was planning on using it very liberally today. He worked hard to keep the widening grin off of his featureless face but his good mood, encouraged by thought of murder, made it considerably more difficult than it should have been. In order to warm up a bit and to exercise his killing muscles before the main event, he Avada Kedavra'd an unsuspecting muggle who had been walking his dog and staring in disbelief at the oncoming army.

It was fitting that the day of his ultimate victory would come on the very day of his ignominious defeat fifteen years ago. He would do today what he had failed to do then. Today he would become immortal and unstoppable. Today he would kill Harry Potter and the world would be his.

From their position in the dilapidated windmill four miles up the coast auror team five, who were on watch duty this morning, registered the use of an unforgiveable on the funny looking instrument set up on the floor. Bob Chulish, the youngest and most inexperienced member of the team apparated under a disillusionment charm to a point a few hundred yards from the trace's point of origin an found himself knee deep in sheep shit. By the time he had extricated himself from the mass of ruminant excretion, with the aid of a good few curses, Auror Chulish finally did his duty and looked up to survey the area. The stunned and now very scared young man gave a small yelp of fear as he caught sight of the unloading ships and fell straight back into the fecund pit of sheep manure. Concentrating on his apparition more carefully than ever before in his life he disappeared with the softest of pops and reappeared an instant later a babbling, hyperventilating mess. When his team mates managed to calm him down enough the junior auror was able to stammer out.

"He's here. We're fucked."

Diagon Alley, London. 31st October 1996. 06.30 a.m

There was much more activity in Diagon Alley than was usual at this time of the morning. Everywhere you looked up and down the shopping district there were shadowy figures beavering away in the grey half light in a flurry of lifting and nailing large, sturdy boards into place at their respective shop fronts. Apparently the news from the east coast was spreading like wild fire and peope were scared. Nymphadora Tonks-Black kept her hood up as she moved quickly through the open expanse of Miracle Square towards the offices of the Daily Prophet. She was on her way to try and persuade Penny to relocate to the safety of either the Black Manor or the Hogseade Clinic while the imminent threat of violence from the Dark Tosser and his multitude of morons persisted.

"He's coming, he's coming!"

A wailing hag ran excitedly out from the shadowed entrance to Knockturn Alley yelling her mantra and making the already nervous residents of the magical shopping district even more so. Taking a leaf out of Alice's book the metamophmagus stuck out a foot, tripping the unsuspecting old crone and pushing the off balance woman into a wall before delivering a knockout blow with her billy club.

"Whoopsie."

"Gred, did that paragon of law enforcement just assault an innocent old woman?"

"I believe she did indeed Forge, old boy. Shocking ain't it?"

"Wotcha Freddie, Georgie boy. I see the cat's out of the bag about Mouldy Shorts coming then."

"Oh is that what it is. We thought that they'd just got wind of our latest product line."

"Super stench sausage rolls."

"Do I want to know?"

They gave the pink haired auror and their cousin in law? their best identical shit eating grins. She had been around the mischievous ginger twins enough since their families had joined in the summer to know not to inquire too closely into anything that they were involved in.

"That's a no then."

"So other than beating up the wrinklies what are you doing here? Don't tell me you just came to rescue your favourite cousins in law from certain death."

"Like you sneaky ginger fuckers would need rescuing." Nym snorted in amusement. "No I'm here to get my girlfriend out. Stubborn cow will probably tell me go and fuck myself but if I don't try I'll be in the shit anyway."

"Ah the lovely Miss Clearwater, yes she does have quite the temper recently."

She walked slowly away from the Weasley twins, deep in thought. Nym didn't really want to dwell on how the incorrigible pranksters knew about the junior reporter's change from the sweet, mild mannered girl that she had fallen in love with to the fire breathing dragon that she was now. Penny's recent lack of patience with ... well anything really was a bit disconcerting. If Nym didn't know better she would have said that the girl was hormonal. You know like pregnant hormonal. She stopped in her tracks. Oh fuck no. The vague memory of a case of fire whisky, two drunk, horny witches and a very special strap on given to her mad Auntie Bellatix came bubbling up from the back of her mind. Along with the strange warning on the outside of the box to ensure that both partners were 'ready' before use. They had thought it was a lubrication issue but now another, far more worrying, meaning occured to her.

She set off once more with a determined look on her face. It suddenly became a great deal more important for Nym to get Penelope somewhere safe. There was no way she was going to let Mouldy Shorts or any of his death nibblers get anywhere near her girlfriend. Or their baby.

Minister's Office, Ministry of magic, London. 31st October 1996. 07.45 a.m.

Amelia Bones, Minister of Magic for wizarding Btitain and former head of the DMLE was giving the out of breath young man in front of her a very hard stare indeed. He had been unlucky enough to interrupt her before she had indulged in her morning double shot of espresso and was now close t wetting himself in fear. But however scary his ultimate boss looked this morning she would definitely not want him to wait on mere propriety to impart the grave piece of news that he carried.

"It's confirmed then."

"Yes Boss. Auror team five has been tracking them heading North through Lincolnshire."

"Right then. Call everyone in."

"Everyone Boss?"

"You heard her fuckwit. EVERYONE!"

The poor messenger jumped about a foot in the air and now actually did wet himself as he was rounded on by an insane looking violet eyed witch. This was what Bellatrix Black was born for. The former Azkaban inmate and current enforcer for the Minister of Magic whooped with glee as she bolted out of the office into the Auror ready room shouting at the top of her lungs for people to ...

"Wake up fuckos, it's time to earn to your pay."

Amelia shook her head with a wan smile. Bella had certainly livened the place up since she had come here. She had not succumbed to the insane, dark witch's rather kinky and disturbing, but never the less exciting, sexual advances yet, but if she helped them win the day today then Amelia was seriously considering rewarding Bellatrix with a good hard fuck for her efforts. She was more than familiar with the post battle response of being both hungry and horny and she wasn't too fussy about where she satisfied either of those urges. Bella would certainly deserve her attentions should she be as effective as she hoped against the Death Eaters and if she came bearing curry and rice then Amelia would be very much agreeable to some after action fun with the mental dark witch. She followed Bella into the ready room, gathering her thoughts to give the troops a rousing speech, having no doubt whatsoever that they would carry the day.

The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole. 31st October 1996. 09.30 a.m.

Molly was confused. She was sure that her husband had left for work at his normal time this morning and yet here he was, as large as life, sitting at the kitchen table with a worried look on his face. Instinctively she glanced at the clock and her world collapsed. Every single hand on the extraordinary timepiece pointed to 'In danger' or 'Mortal Peril'. In response to this situation she forced herself to do the one thing guaranteed to relax her and put the kettle on to make some tea. In silence Arthur Weasley watched his wife bustling around the kichen unsure of how to bring up the subject of what was happening in Britain. Last time Voldemort had unleashed his campaign of terror upon the country Arthur had been a young father with a lot more spirit than he was left with now and had thought nothing of volunteering to fight. The death and horror had quickly sickened him and he had hoped that he would never have the need to fight again. A hope that had been dashed in the Minister's morning briefing. He had worked for the Ministry for all of his working life and he had no intention of standing back and allowing these thugs to destroy it.

Minister Bones had allowed all employees to leave after the meeting and had left the decision whether or not to return and defend their workplace up to the individuals involved. She had known Arthur for a long time though and he was tasked with another mission more suited to his talents. Arthur had returned home to persuade Molly to go to Black Manor to wait it out, his wife, however, was adamant about wanting to help.

"Amelia wants me to get to Hogsmeade and help out with the evacuation. Why don't you come with me love? It would be more useful than sitting around here or getting in the way at the Ministry. You'd have people to help, to cook for, to comfort. And you'd be closer to Ginny and Ron."

For once his fiesty and argumentative wife agreed to do exactly as he suggested, a small scale miracle in the Weasle household, leaving Arthur a bit confused but extremely grateful. It would be difficut enough facing Voldemort's dark forces without having to worry about Molly running around and getting herself hurt. Or worse. Silently thanking Amelia for her orders and advice, he held the red headed woman tightly to him, taking comfort in the embrace as much as she was while wondering if getting the twins to Hosmeade clinic would be this easy. Considering that his wayward sons were responsible for most of his recent hair loss, he thought probably not.

The Granger/Black Dental and Healthcare Clinic, Hogsmeade. 31st October 1996. 11.00 a.m

The first thing that most people noticed about Andromeda Black was her temper which could be as impressive as her niece's given the correct incentive. Thankfully the outward expression of her temper wasn't as violent as Alice's but her clipped tones and frosty glare still left you in no doubt whatsoever about her feelings on the matter in question. It was this side of her that was being displayed to anyone who failed to move as quickly as she thought they ought to be.

"Ros'. Morgana's saggy tits woman get your arse in here now."

Madame Rosmerta's impressive breasts wobbled wonderfuly while she ran as fast as possible, or as fast as was safe for someone of her stature, across the street from the Three Broomsticks and towards the Black Clinic. Upon her entry she received an impromptu round of applause from the assorted Blacks and Weasleys in the reception area for her magnificent display of mammary gymnastics, though this was quickly brought to an end by an annoyed Molly. The recently arrived ginger tea making machine even managed to intimidate the pale, cold eyed and aloof couple of Narcissa and Selene. Well briefly anyway. It brought some much needed light relief to the crowd of scared refugees crammed into the clinic whose fear was not exactly helped by the muggle tooth doctor Emma Granger, prowling around, rubbing her hands and offering free check ups.

Andromeda was still stalking about the place glaring daggers at anyone dumb enough to get in her way or who dared to make yet another stupid comment about this morning's Daliy Prophet article on the 'invasion' as they were calling it. The Dark Lord was certainly not having it all his own way in the propaganda war this time around. In part this was due to the loyal supporters of the House of Black who had been embedded in both the media and political spheres over the last year or so. Whatever it was it had made today's operations around the country considerably easier. Whether it was love, trust, respect or fear that motivated them, the wizards of Britain all flocked to the banner of the Noble and Most Ancent House of Black for the offered protection of themselves and their families. As she checked the wards on the clinic for the fifth time today, Andromeda Black thought that both the wards and the protection of her family name were going to be severely tested in the next few hours.

The Great Hall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 31st October 1996. 11.30 a.m

The great hall was packed to the rafters when Alice Black and her crew of tank girl terrors waltzed in, kilts swinging, in a loose formation of two mostly symetrical lines. The headmaster merely smiled at the spectacle that she created as it appeared to calm and soothe the terrified students more than any words that he could have found to use today. He looked out at the adoring faces of the younger children and at the mixture of fear and awe on the older students thinking that the hero worship of the Black Princess was making his job a lot easier. And he needed it to be easier today. Today it was time for the final showdown with Tom and Harry and he was going to have to keep a close watch on the pair to ensure that everything happened as it should. It was a shame for the boy who had just begun a sweet and tentative relationship with young Mister Longbottom, but it couldn't be helped. He would not be leaving any of Voldemort's horcruxes lying around. Includng Harry Potter. Albus, lost in his thoughts, jumped as Lady Black's melodic tones sounded next to him.

"Kreacher."

"Miss Alice called."

"Be a love, Batty Man and get the other elves and head over to the tank garage. We need to make sure that everything's fuelled up and fully loaded. 'Kay?" She held her loyal and cuddly old elf with a stern look. "Oh and Kreach'. You might want to do some recruiting in the kitchens here for your little House Elf infantry division that you've put together and think I don't know about."

He turned back to his beloved mistress with a guilty smirk and shuffled his feet about with his eyes downcast. Absolutely nobody, including the notoriously crotchety and sarcastic Walburgia, could make him feel quite as much like a naughty schoolboy as the mentally unstable, but very sweet, Lady Alice. He returned her mad cock-eyed grin with one of his own, gave a sloppy salute and popped off to carry out her orders.

Alice shook her head at the antics of her chief House elf before turning her attention back to the hall in general. There were a great many anxious faces in the crowd and not all of them were from the younger years. Not even most of them in fact as it seemed that pretty much all the students up to fourth year were confident in the ability of their mighty Black Princess to protect them. It was the older population, the ones who had lost parents, siblings and loved ones to the Dark Lord's vicious campaign of terror last time around who were dubious about their chances of survival. The raven haired lunatic decided that they needed a bit of a pep talk to snap them out of it and to bolster their spirits. It didn't even occur to her that her idea of a rousing eve of battle speech might be a touch more ... insane than was normally the case and she skipped her over to the stage and it's podium, determinedly happy.

Ginny noticed her wife's growing annoyance and to avoid any un-necessary bloodshed taking place before the actual battle commenced decided to help out by giving a piercing, ear splitting whistle that brought every eye in the hall to her. She indicated the black haired young woman tapping the podium impatiently with her wand, looking increasingly angry and held a finger to her lips. Silence fell instantly. A very nervous silence. Alice did have a certain reputation after all.

"When Mouldy Shorts and his deaf nibblers come, and make no mistake they are coming, we will stand tall and we will stand together. Now having said that, I don't expect everyone to fight. Indeed if I find anyone below fifth year outside of their dorms tonight they are going to wish they had been killed by our enemies by the time I've finished with them. What I am saying is that nobody wil be forced to take sides. Those who wish to remain neutral will be allowed to do so without fear of punishment or reprisal. Although you will be required to look after my rabbits."

There were some squeals of delight from a few of the younger girls at this as they had been wanting to play with some of Alice's pet bunnies for a while now. It was a shame that it took a blood war and a castle siege for it to happen but hey ho, every cloud and all that. Alice gave them a smile and a wave. People who loved rabbits were more than alright by her.

"So now, for those of you who do wish to help defend the castle, you will be working with the deputy headmistress so if you would head on over to Professor MacGonnagal while the prefects get everyone else to their dorms. The rest of the professors if you would like to liase with Hermione and Susan, we'll work out a plan for kicking the Snake faced fucker's arse with our special, armoured hobnail boots."

As students and teachers started to move to their designated areas Alice seemed to suddenly remember something and called out to the hall.

"Oh and by the way. If anyone, and I do mean anyone, tries to give my new friend Harry Potter over to the Dark Wanker they are going to become very intimitely acquainted with the business end of Fanny here." She waved her favourite fireaxe nonchalantly in the air. "Are we clear?"

Apart from the SHAGS club girls vocal response there were only a few muttered voices and some scared nods that answered her.

"Alice can't hear you." She sing songed. "Are. We. Clear."

The way her mad mis-matched eyes blazed and twitched added to the way that she coldly spat out those last three words left no one in any doubt as to whether or not she was expecting an answer. This time the response was shouted entusiastically and unanimously, nobody wanted to be on the psychotically dangerous young woman's bad side.

"Yes Lady Black!"

"Now that's what I like to hear. Okie dokie then. Let's go to work."

As eve of battle speehes went it was hardly St. Crispin's Day but it certainly effective enough as the staff and students of Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry fairly leapt to their tasks. Lord Voldemort and his army might scare the crap out of them but a pissed off Alice Black scared them more.

A bit dull but it needed to be done. Next up is the battle chapter which will be much more fun. I hope to have it up by the weekend for you.

Thanks for the reviews, I love you all.

Good? Bad? Leave your thoughts although you can always PM me with ideas, suggestions, comments if you want. Dylan the Rabbit. xx