Chapter Twenty Six:
She woke to find him asleep by the bed.
She tried to move but the pain in her side caused her to cry out.
"Sara!"
He buzzed for the nurse before she could stop him.
The nurse hurried in.
"She's in pain," he said.
"I forgot…about my side…I'm fine…I just need to get up," she said.
His hands were there helping her to ease out of the bed.
She was sore.
She pushed his hands away as she walked gingerly to the bathroom, shutting it behind her.
He stood outside the door and listened.
She opened the door and they came face to face.
He intended to help her back to bed but again she shrugged him off.
"I'm fine," she said. "I'm leaving today."
He understood then.
She had no intention of showing any weakness.
She wanted to leave.
He waited for the doctor to make his rounds. Dr. Roberts stepped in and examined the wound. It had bled quite a bit but the bullet had only grazed her. They had been more concerned with the loss of blood and her anemic condition as well as the blood pressure.
"Your blood pressure is still up a bit. I'm going to prescribe something for it and I want you to make an appointment with your OB within a week for a follow-up."
She nodded.
"Any restrictions?" Grissom blurted out.
"She just needs to rest…keep the wound clean…we'll give her something for the anemia and the blood pressure."
She was back at the townhouse within a few hours.
He was not sure whether he should bring her back there.
The gang had cleaned up the blood once the scene had been cleared.
She stepped inside and found herself drawn to the place where he had died.
She stared down at the floor.
"No blood," she said.
"You should rest now," said Grissom.
She continued to stare when Brass took her hand.
"Go lie down," he said.
She nodded and then left the room.
"She okay?" asked Brass.
"She's been quiet…except last night… she wanted to leave the hospital…she finally gave in."
"I'm going to check on her," said Grissom as he slipped into the bedroom.
He sat down on the bed. "Can I get you anything?"
She shook her head.
"You need to eat something," he said softly.
"I'm not sure I could hold it down," she said.
"How about some light soup and a sandwich?" he offered.
She said nothing but knew he would be persistent.
It was good.
She needed someone to think about things like that at the moment.
She ate a little of the soup and part of the sandwich.
Once lunch was done, she burrowed herself down into the covers.
"Want me to stay with you?" he asked.
She shook her head and waited for him to leave. When he made no move to leave, her eyes shot open.
"You can leave," she said.
"I'll just sit with you until you fall asleep," he said softly.
She swore under her breath.
She did not want him there.
She wanted to fall apart.
She wanted herself to feel the loss of Ben and now Thomas.
She wanted to admit that she felt guilty for the women who had died by the hands of Thomas.
She remembered the pregnant woman and her hands protectively wrapped around the bulge that kicked.
Thomas had killed her because he had been angry with her.
He had wanted to kill her but instead killed someone else.
It could have been me…
He could have killed me …
And my child…
She gulped back the tears and a small sob escaped her.
"Sara?" he asked.
"Go….please."
"I don't think I should…"
"Go!" she said.
He knew she intended to grieve alone.
He knew that she had not even accepted Ben's death and now she had to face the death of Thomas at her own hands.
If that was not bad enough, she had to face the fact that Thomas had been a serial killer.
He didn't want to leave her.
He hesitated before slowly getting up.
"I'll check on you in a little while," he said.
He stepped out and came face to face with Brass.
"You left her alone?" he asked angrily.
"She asked me to leave," said Grissom.
"You should have refused."
"I was trying to give her some privacy to grieve. She needs to grieve and not hold it in."
Brass muttered under his breath. "Kid has been through enough. I should have known something was not right with Thomas. He was just too pushy to get Sara back to San Francisco."
Grissom went into the kitchen and poured a glass of juice.
"Got anything stronger?" asked Brass.
"Yes but I don't think either of us would stop if we pulled out the bottle," said Grissom as he emptied his glass.
"I guess I don't have to tell you how damn close we came to losing her," said Brass letting the anger slip back into his voice.
Grissom's jaw twitched.
He had thought of nothing else.
"The DA is going to need to ask her a few questions. They promised to keep it short. They've been in contact with the lab in San Francisco. It's in complete chaos right now with losing Ben and Thomas. I didn't tell them Sara was not coming back."
Grissom's eyes shot up. "She isn't. She's staying here."
"I didn't want to step on her toes…you know how she gets when she tries to do everything herself."
"I'm worried about her," said Grissom. "She doesn't seem well."
"She feels guilty for all of this," said Brass.
"I'm going to call the lab in San Francisco and offer our assistance," said Grissom.
"You think Ecklie will give us any grief?" asked Brass.
"It's a high profile serial case that has been solved…he'll want the lab mentioned as much as possible for media blitz," said Grissom heading toward the bedroom but he was stopped.
"Let me," said Brass.
It was not what Grissom wanted.
He wanted to be with her but he let his friend go inside the room while he sat there and stared at the bedroom door.
Brass sat down on the bed and said nothing.
She lay there wide awake clutching the covers.
He glanced at her and could tell she had been crying.
"How are you doing?" he asked softly.
"I've had better days," she said.
He smiled slightly. "DA needs to ask you a few questions…"
"In the morning," she said.
He nodded.
"Jim?"
His eyes stared at her.
"I want to review the case notes…all of them," she said.
"What are you looking for?" he asked.
"Nothing…I just want to see what happened…Ben…he shouldn't have died like that."
"He was trying to protect you and save Thomas."
"He uhm used to tell me how much he loved me….couldn't count the number of times he told me." She swiped at her cheeks. "I let him die thinking I didn't trust him…I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that. He deserved better…much better than me. All he ever wanted was for me to be happy."
"He loved you," said Brass. "Just like Grissom and I do."
He looked at her to see if she believed him.
He saw doubt and hurt.
"So…we're back to that," he said.
"I'm not sure I was ever past that."
"Don't push him away, Sara."
"I won't have to…he'll do that on his own."
"You sound so sure."
"I am…he's been like that for years…never letting anyone get close…sidestepping any chance for…he never told me he loved me until I was pregnant."
"So he has lousy timing."
"I'm scared Jim…really scared. I feel like I have no control over anything right now. I've lost…the only person that I knew really loved me…and I took it for granted…I uhm don't know how to handle any of this," she said.
"You're tired. You just need some rest. In a couple of days…"
"I have to go back to San Francisco."
"I thought you were going to say that."
"I need to resign…to put things in order."
"Listen, if you need to go then go…but you're not going alone…one of us will go with you."
"I don't need…"
"I didn't say you needed anything…we do. We need to know you're okay."
She said nothing as he stood.
"Try to get some sleep," said Brass.
He stepped out and found Grissom sitting on the couch.
"Is she…"
"She's confused…upset…if you pull away from her, you'll have me to deal with," he said.
Grissom stared at him. "She really loved him…Ben."
"She loves you but she's scared you're going to leave again…she needs you…really needs you…don't screw it up."
"I'm not," he said quietly.
"I think it's time I went home," said Brass.
"Not yet…stay. She likes having you around," said Grissom.
"I'll stay until she comes back from San Francisco."
Grissom felt a tightening in his chest, "she said she was going back?"
"She needs to resign…tie up some loose ends…I told her one of us was going with her."
"Did she agree?"
"She didn't disagree."
"I'd like to go with her…to help out…help her with handling her affairs as well as Ben's."
"You think you're up to that?"
"I have to be. She needs me."
Note from author:
I just love it when Grissom steps up to the plate (and doesn't trip over it.) LOL. Thanks so much for each review. I read everyone and I can't tell you how much I have chuckled over a few. Please continue to leave them. Get well Billiebesaved.
Take care,
Penny