Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's Anatomy McDouchebag (Isaiah Washington) would have been fired in October. (if you want to hate me for that...that's fine. But it's just the way it is.)

So this chapter it's a big one. So I can't say much in an opening author's note. But the main thing is, well something happens that had to happen. It just had to happen eventually. But it's not actually going to happen the way you all hoped it would. But well...it's something. Something big.

Enjoy!

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Derek's stupid dog had chewed my shoes. He had asked me to keep the thing for one damned night and it had managed to chew my shoes. I don't even know what I had agreed to keep it. Maybe I did, because Derek had given me those eyes and called Hemingway our dog and it was impossible to say no when he looked at me like that. And maybe it had been nice having Hemingway snuggled up close when I had gone to bed. But the damned thing had chewed my shoes.

He was going to hear about it.

"Have you seen Dr. Shepherd?" I asked the nurse standing closest to me.

"On call room," the nurse answered gesturing to the closed door off to the left of us.

Oh, he was going to get it. His stupid dog has chewed my shoes. The dog was adorable, I loved the dog, the dog was not the problem. The problem was my shoes were now destroyed. And more importantly, the problem was that Derek is an idiot.

I swung the door open ready to rip into him.

Except for that wasn't the Dr. Shepherd I had been looking for. And that man devouring her definitely wasn't her husband.

They sprang apart the second the door opened and were now looking at me like deers caught in a headlights. Addison's hair had fallen partially out of her ponytail, her red lipstick smeared lightly around. The rest of it was on Alex's face, rimming his red swollen lips. Both of their shirts were on the floor and it was obvious had I not interrupted their pants woudn't be far apart.

"I'm...ummm...I'm..." I stutterd, not even sure what it was I was trying to say.

"Meredith! Close the door!" Alex yelled, gesturing to the still open door behind her.

I didn't move, how could I move? I shouldn't be seeing this, this was not good. I couldn't see this. I just couldn't see this. Derek couldn't see this.

"Derek..." I said, yet again not even being quite sure what I planned on saying after that, but I felt the need to say his name.

"Meredith, you can't tell him," his wife said sounding far more calmer than she should.

Apparently the voice of her wife knocked me out of my frozen thoughts. "Derek...Der...how could you do this to him? You're married, how could you? Derek..."

Addison rolled her eye at me. "It's not like you two aren't doing the same thing."

Addison thought Derek and I were sleeping together. Derek and me sleeping together. What was wrong with her? Of course we weren't sleeping together. Even when we kissed at no point we had never even come close to sleeping together. I wouldn't sleep with a married man. And Derek was better than that. Derek would never do that. The idea was...appealing. No, absurd. The idea of Derek and I having sex was completely absurd. "I'm going to go, I shouldn't be here," I said, pointing towards the door.

"Go," Addison said, looking down sadly at her's and Alex's shirt. "It's what my husband does best, you might as well do it too."

"Umm...yeah, I'm going," I said turning around and heading out the door.

I wasn't even down the hall when I heard someone running behind me.

"Meredith! Meredith! It's not..."

I whipped around and stared Alex down, the anger I had been holding back setting in. Alex was my friend, and Addison was Derek's wife. His wife. Derek and I had been holding back everything, denying everything, making sure we never did anything because of her. And then she did this to him. She did this to Derek. And Alex helped. "Alex! What were you thinking? She's married, Alex! Addison is married!'

"What Grey? You're doing the same thing," Alex said.

"I am not sleeping with Derek. Not now nor have I have I ever been sleeping with Derek. You know why? Because he's married. To Addison. Who, by the way, left her lipstick all over your mouth. You may want to wipe that off," I hissed at him.

"You're not sleeping with Shepherd?" Alex said looking confused.

"No Alex, I am not sleeping with Derek," I said. "Derek and I, we're complicated, and he's my best friend. And a whole bunch of more mess. But I am not sleeping with him."

"Best friend?" Alex said, suddenly looking worried. "You can't tell him about this."

"Of course I'm going to tell him about this, best friend. He's my best friend. Best friend Alex! I have to tell him about this!" I yelled. The thought of not telling Derek hadn't even crossed my mind. This wasn't something I was about to keep from him. His wife was cheating on him. I had to tell him.

"Let Addison tell him!" Alex pleaded with me. "She's the one that cheated. And Grey, you know as well as I know that their marriage has problems, let them figure this out."

"Addison figured it out in bed with you!" I yelled. Addison had cheated on Derek. My Derek. The one person who understood me, the one person that meant more to me than anything. Addison had cheated on him. My Derek. God, this was going to hurt him, so much. She hurt him. And we had done nothing, we had been so good, even when I had been tempted yesterday to pull that towel off and take Derek right there, we hadn't done anything. We had faught everything. To have Addison do this.

"Meredith, don't tell him," Alex asked of me again.

"There's no way I can't tell him," I said, my voice returning to normal.

"Fine, go ahead tell him. And then you can see who he picks to believe, you or his wife," Alex said turning around.

Me or his wife. If I told Derek he'd ask Addison, and Addison would deny it. And then Derek would have to choose who to between. His wife of eleven years or his best friend of a couple of months. He would have to choose. And honestly, I don't know if I wanted that. Becasuse if he chose his wife, our friendship would never be the same. And I didn't have the strength to face that. I could loose Derek.

But if I didn't tell him, and he found out, I could loose him.

Shit.

This was not good.

Leave me out with the waste, this is not what I do.

So Meredith knows. Except for she doesn't want to know, at all. Because now she has this big huge secret and she has no idea what to do with it. Because she knows she had to tell Derek. As his best friend she has to tell him. But Alex managed to put doubt in her mind, that maybe, just maybe Derek wouldn't believe her and would trust his wife over her. And that she'd lose him, and the idea of losing him terrifies her. So yeah, this is not information she wants to know.

Another update will be up in a bit...not sure when. Because I think I might rework a lot of things. Lol. Meredith and Derek in my head are no longer happy with the direction this fic was supposed to go in...so well things might change.

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