CHAPTER 26

New Years Day - 1:00

Jonathan is in the living room watching a football game while Martha is pacing back and forth in the kitchen. She looks at the clock again and wonders exactly where Clark and Lois were. They were supposed to be here at 12:30. They should have called if they knew they were going to be late. She walks over to the window over the sink and peers out for what feels like the 100th time. Then she sees Clark's truck pull up. Well it's about time. I hope he has a good excuse. "Jonathan," she calls out. "They're finally here."

He shuts off the television and comes into the kitchen to stand next to her. They look out the window and observe Clark and Lois getting out of the truck and walking towards the house. However, they're both surprise to see Lois walking past Clark in a huff. "Jonathan?"

"What, Martha?" he replies.

"Did I just see...?"

"You did, Martha," continuing to watch them as they climb the stairs of the porch. "There's something weird going on with them. I just can't put my finger on it though."

"I have a pretty good idea," she replies. "Tell me why Lois would be rubbing her backside as if it hurt? Now that I have absolutely no clue."

He starts to walk towards the kitchen door, but stops and stares back at her. "Wait a minute. Exactly what did you mean when you said that you have a pretty good idea?"

She hesitates before speaking. "If I tell you, you have to promise me that you won't say anything to Clark and Lois. Okay?"

"Okay," sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Well," telling him the whole story about the events of the day before.

His jaw drops. "Clark? He did that?" his eyes widening with surprise.

"That's right, Jonathan," she replies, "Our son is no Boy Scout. He has a kinky side," she says with a straight face.

"Well it's a good thing I'm already sitting down," he quips. Then his eyebrows narrow.

She looks curiously at him. "What's wrong, Jonathan?"

"Why haven't they come in yet?"

"I have no idea." They both walk over to the front window and look out onto the porch. They both gasp out in surprise as they observe Lois punching Clark on his upper arm, then waving her finger at him. They look at each other and think the same thing: What the hell is going on?

About ten minutes earlier...

Clark and Lois are in his truck. "Come on, Lois," he says. "You haven't said a word since we left your apartment."

She turns her head away and doesn't say a word. Oh brother; he groans. Who knows how long she'll keep this up. Knowing Lois, she won't shut up for long. I think I know just what to say to break her silence. "You know," he says, "You have no one to blame but yourself for that red ass of yours," he quips; a smug expression on his face. "After all, I did tell you what I'd do if you punched me one more time."

She turns her head and stares at him in shock; her eyes narrowing. He's just trying to bait me. He said that on purpose hoping I'll start talking. But he's wrong. He doesn't know me like he thinks he does.

She notes the smug expression he's wearing. Oh don't you worry, my dear Mr. Kent. I'll wipe that smug look off your face when you least expect it. You forget who you're dealing with. Unconsciously, a smile begins to form on her face.

He notices the smile and gets a nervous knot in the pit of his stomach. Oh boy, she has that look. That 'evil grin' as I like to call it. I'm really in for it now.

"We're here," pulling into the driveway and parking the truck. He gets out of the truck and is about to come around to open her door when she suddenly jumps out and walks past him in a huff. As she's walking ahead of him, her hand moves to her backside and rubs it a little.

Son of a bitch; muttering to herself. He drove fast on purpose; knowing how bumpy these roads are. He gets such a perverse pleasure out of my discomfort. She continues walking toward the porch; Clark closely on her heels.

"Wait up, Lois," catching up with her on the porch. She turns around and glares at him. "You did that on purpose - didn't you?" she hisses at him.

"Did what on purpose?" looking quizzically at her.

"Don't even think of turning on that Kent charm because it's not going to work today," punching him on the upper arm, then waving her finger at him.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, Lois," acting all innocent; then walking over to the kitchen door and opening it. She brushes by him as he's holding it open, but then he lets the door slam; hitting her on her ass. She spins around and glares at him. "You son of a bitch!" she exclaims; rubbing her ass again.

He doesn't say anything, but he can't help the smirk that forms on his face. He then turns his attention to his parents - who are both staring at the two of them wide-eyed. "Happy New Year," he says; walking over to them and giving them both a hug.

"Happy New Year to you too, Clark," the two of them returning the hug. Then they turn to Lois. "Come here, Lois," calling out to her.

She walks over to them and pushes Clark aside; giving the two of them a hug. "Happy New Year to you too, Mr. & Mrs. K," smiling at them.

"We were wondering why the two of you were late. We expected you at 12:30. It's now 1:00," Martha gently scolds them.

"You can blame Lois for that," Clark pipes up. "She couldn't decide what she wanted to wear today. You could say that she was a 'bad' girl. Aren't you, Lois?" raising one eyebrow at her.

She frowns at his remark. I'm going to get him good. "Yes, I've been a really bad girl," she coos; walking up to Clark and putting her hand on his crotch.

He gives a start as her hand moves up and down against his crotch. "Lois," he hisses under his breath. "My parents are standing right there. What the hell are you doing?"

"Oh that's only the beginning, Smallville," removing her hand and walking away from him. He could feel himself turning red. He turns his head and sees the shocked looks on their faces.

He clears his throat. "Well," he says, "How about that lunch?" turning around and walking towards the kitchen.

Martha and Jonathan look at each other. "I think this is going to be a very interesting lunch," he remarks. She nods in agreement as they both go into the kitchen. Lois has already sat down; Clark sitting down next to her. Jonathan takes out the wine and begins to pour it into three glasses while Martha takes the chicken out of the oven.

Clarks looks curiously at his father as he's pouring the wine. "Lois and I can't have alcohol. We're not legal yet. And why are you only pouring three glasses?"

"It's a special occasion. You're allowed to have alcohol for special occasions," he remarks; closing the bottle and returning it to the refrigerator. He hands both of them a glass and takes one for himself.

"Aren't you having any, Mom?" Clark asks her.

She gives Jonathan a look. It's time to tell them.

Jonathan stands up; glass in hand. "I want to make a toast." The three of them also stand up; Martha holding a glass of apple juice. "Here's to my darling wife - who's made me happier than I ever thought I could be." Then he adds, "And to my son - who I am so proud of," smiling at Clark. Then he turns to Lois. "Don't think I forgot about you, Lois," smiling at her. "It makes me so happy that you and Clark are together. Even when you're at each other's throats," winking at her. Then he turns to Martha again and takes her hand. "And here's to our unborn baby - who we'll be seeing in about seven months," kissing her hand. "Cheers!" sipping his wine.

Clark and Lois stare at Martha and Jonathan in shock. After a moment of silence, Clark finally says, "You're pregnant, Mom?"

She nods yes. "I am Clark," smiling up at him.

"That was your pregnancy test in my wastebasket - wasn't it?" Lois exclaims.

"It was, Lois."

"You know that Clark thought I was the one who was pregnant?" giving him a sideways glance.

"Really?" looking curiously at Lois.

"Never mind that," Clark retorts; quickly walking over to Martha and giving her a big hug. "I can't believe this. I thought after the last time..."

"Let's forget about that," kissing him on the cheek.

"I'm so happy for you, Mom," kissing her back. Then he turns to Jonathan and gives him a hug. "I'm happy for both of you," pulling back at last.

Lois runs over to Martha and Jonathan and throws her arms around the two of them. "I don't know what to say. I think it's wonderful. Just think - Clark's going to have a baby brother or sister." She stops talking for a moment; a gleam in her eye.

Clark notices the look. "What's with the gleam in your eye Lois?"

"I was just picturing Clark Kent having to change a diaper. I can't wait to see that," chuckling a bit.

"It just so happens that I'm pretty handy with a diaper - aren't I, Mom?" looking over at her with a smile.

"That's right," looking over at Lois. "We once took in a baby temporarily and Clark was the only one to be able to calm him down. He's a born father."

He gets a wistful look on his face. Lois remembers that look; walking over to him and putting her arms around him. "Someday, Smallville," she whispers. "Someday."

TO BE CONTINUED...