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Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.
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Thank you!
~~~)(~~~
Chapter 24: For all Pretense and Purposes
~)(~
EPOV
Dinner went as expected. Most of the small but wealthy town had attended, exceeding the RSVP number my mother had set down. The beautiful thing about a small place like Denali, Alaska was the obvious reality that lives became intertwined- and oddly enough the restaurant owners didn't seem to mind having to feed another 45+ people.
Of course, the restaurant wasn't exactly equipped to handle the sheer volume of patrons. But it didn't seem to matter. The town was remembering one if its own.
Not a single person that was forced to stand while eating voiced a complaint about it. Of course, most of the men had given up their seats, including Emmett and I so that the women could sit and eat in comfort.
This was an estrogen ocean.
Not that men didn't need the same kind of closure, we just handled things a little differently. Usually we showed our remorse by taking care of the women we had with us- wives, sisters, daughters, mothers, girlfriends. The men were on their best behaviors and came stocked to the nines with all the manners we had ever learned. I thought of it as testicular protective mode.
And I won't lie-keeping myself from ripping across the crowd and destroying Laurent as I stood behind Tanya took every fucking ounce of energy I had. I wasn't going to make a scene here. I was on an invisible leash, for now.
In my attempts to distract myself and keep myself in control I noticed Emmett was hawking him too.
Laurent was on borrowed time.
~)(~
The hors d'oeuvres and salad courses went off without a hitch. Esme had implored the owners to create a spread of Irina's favorites as a representation of her memory.
They had most definitely delivered. I don't know what strings they had to pull to get this entire meal together with so many people to feed. What I did know was that however it came together- it couldn't have been cheap.
We started with a crispy phyllo-pear-and-brie tart bathed in a cranberry and port reduction. The salad was a simple farmer's style with strawberries and pine nuts and white balsamic dressing. For dinner, I knew the main course was going to be Sea Scallops and Foie Gras with a side of parsnip vanilla mouse and black currant marmalade.
In the midst of the crowd that swarmed around Tanya's family during the transition into dinner, I tapped Emmett on the shoulder. It was unspoken that he was to run interference while I stepped outside and he nodded to show he understood.
I needed to steal a few moments away. I had to speak to Bella.
Beneath my controlled exterior, I was fucking insane with the aching need to hear her voice. I had to get a fix of her into my body and I couldn't wait another God-damned minute.
My fingers were shaking as I dialed her number and pushed out of the door into the ice-cold Alaskan night. I was shielded only by my suit jacket and the wind was a howling bitch that already had my teeth chattering.
The first ring went unanswered and I could see my breath as I started to pace, avoiding the smokers who had lined up outside to indulge.
The second and third rings had me on edge. Why wasn't Bella answering her phone? I knew she needed this as much as I did- the agony wasn't just one-sided. So why wasn't she picking up?
I was almost out of my skin in the space it took for the fourth ring to land. And then I heard the phone pick up. But it wasn't Bella that answered.
"Hello?" A husky male voice said and he was slightly out of breath.
I shook my head to clear my sudden confusion and promptly hung up, ripping the phone down from my ear to double check the number I had dialed. Hell, it was so cold I must've fucking hit the wrong keys.
I was going to have to remedy that and put Bella on my speed dial.
With frozen fingers, I looked up the last number I had called. There was no doubt it was Bella's. Her name was on the display and I swear to fuck, I was about to combust into flames.
It didn't matter how cold it was outside, I was a raging inferno on the inside. I sat down on the brick outcropping at the front of the restaurant before I went off and did something dangerous or stupid.
I just stared fucking blankly at the phone in my hand and Bella's name on my screen.
I was seething.
Who the fuck was that guy answering Bella's phone? How the hell was he close enough to her to pick it up-where was she? My mind raced and battery acid ignited in my veins.
Was this my fucking penance for everything I had done to her while I was with Tanya? Had Bella finally given up on me-on us-on everything we had said just before I left?
I clenched my fist around my phone, feeling my injured knuckles protest and threaten to reopen the wounds I had inflicted on that brick wall just the other day. The plastic casing around my Crackberry groaned in protest and I was seconds away from smashing it to the ground.
I fucking wanted answers…now.
My lip curled and I started to dial Bella's number before I knew what I was doing. I never got to finish it though, just as I was ready to hit send I saw her incoming call.
I ripped the phone to my ear and didn't even give her a chance to say hello.
"Bella," I growled dangerously, my voice heavy with venom.
I heard her gasp on the line.
"Ed- Edward I am so sorry, I was in the bathroom," her voice was trembling and I cut her off.
"Who the fuck was that Bella?" I drew out the words and sneered. I felt like a wounded animal ready to strike out at the first sign of weakness.
"That- that was my friend Jacob. I was in the bathroom and he answered my phone. Edward-I'm so sorry," She was speaking a mile-a-minute trying to avoid me interrupting her again.
Jacob. Who the fuck was Jacob?
"What is he doing there, Bella?" I let the jealousy rip through my voice and I could almost taste her shaking and flushed and confused. No guy answers my girl's phone.
"Edward, it's not what you think. I swear to you." She panicked at my silence and I closed my eyes in an attempt to control myself.
"Then what is it, exactly Isabella?" I had never called her by her full-given-name. It felt fucking powerful.
Her breath hitched on the line and I leaned deeper into the phone. I was so fucking angry-jealous-and ready to explode with need for her. Bella was mine and it was apparent she needed to be reminded of that.
She was dead silent, panting. My-fucking-God the things I would do to her if I was there, right now.
After I destroyed this Jacob guy.
"I asked you a question," I reminded and I heard her try to regulate her breathing.
"Jake and his dad came over for dinner-we're old friends. He was here yesterday to take a look at my truck and…" She sounded so earnest that I forced myself to get a grip over my raging anger.
"Go. On," I managed and it took everything I had.
"I know I can trust him, Edward. You have Alice and Emmett and I just…needed a friend, someone I could talk to about us. I can't trust anyone else. That's all that happened. I swear."
I breathed out and pressed my lips closer to the phone. Bella had never given me a reason to distrust her-where as I had given her a hundred real reasons to never trust me.
And she said the word, 'us'. Just hearing that coming from her delicious mouth made me want her, now.
But back to the matter at hand.
"He doesn't answer your phone ever again. Your mine, Isabella-my girl. I'm coming home the day after tomorrow no matter what it takes-and I am going to spend an entire fucking day reminding you of that."
…after I found out who Jacob was and had a little talk with him. Was that the earthy scent that lingered in her doorway just last night? Bella said he had been there yesterday.
"Edward," I could hear her crumbling on the phone and I swear to God my girl was in pure fucking agony without me. Shit, I had to admit I wanted her so fucking bad at that moment that I was ready to jump through the phone to get to her.
"I'm fucking crazy without you Bella." I could hear my voice soften even as my breathing quickened its pace. "Being this far away from you is killing me."
"I feel it too," she answered so gently; it took everything I had in me to stay still and not call the airlines to get a ticket for myself tonight. My family was here and they needed me too.
There were no words to say. I sat there listening to her uneven breathing and I knew she was doing the same. But I couldn't stay out here forever-now that the rage was starting to subside the feeling of the cold returned to me and I knew I was going to freeze to death if I didn't get inside.
"Listen to me, Bella-I have to go inside. I'm coming home for you as fast as I can get there," I felt like I should have said more but I couldn't find my fucking words.
She was all I God-damn wanted in this world.
"Edward," she breathed again and I knew without her saying another word the agony it meant to have to hang up the phone.
"I know Bella- I know. Two more days, I swear I will get to you if I have to crawl." And I meant every word of it.
She hung up without saying goodbye and for another few seconds I sat there with the phone pressed to my ear-refusing to admit she was no longer on the line. Being away from Bella was harder than I thought it was going to be. It wasn't just the physical cravings, although they were a thousand times amplified with her so far away. I could explode with my fucking insane need to be inside of her, to feel her wrapped around me as we closed off the world around us.
But there was a different kind of ache that ripped me in two. It felt like a heart-sickness, a depressive loneliness that put me on edge. I felt like an animal pining for it's mate-crying out into the night without hearing that call returned.
When the cold finally became too much I made my way back inside. I found Emmett and he nodded me over, the dinner portion already being served. Tanya sat next to Laurent and her hand reached for mine as I passed her.
I gave it to her because I had no other choice. I was being watched and it wasn't just by Carlisle and Esme, it was by Laurent and Kate and Carmen too. Did that little fucker tell everyone in earshot?
Somehow, I wouldn't put it past him.
~)(~
BPOV
I was a wreck when I hung up with Edward- exhausted from the rollercoaster of emotions I had been whipped through.
"Jake, why did you answer my phone!" I half whined a very legitimate question.
"You were in the bathroom, I was just gonna ask whoever was on the line to hold for you," he grumbled, wiping at his sweat dampened brow. "I thought it could have been important or something. I mean you were holding the phone when I came up here, so…I don't know. Whatever."
"I do have voice mail, you know," I grumbled again, softening my tone in defeat that had nothing really to do with Jacob.
"Didn't even think of that, Bells. I'm sorry," Jake nodded, plopping down on my bed.
A torrent of emotions still swirled around me, making my thoughts rip in different directions all at once.
First there was the fear that gripped me when Jacob picked up the phone. I knew how bad it would look to Edward and he met me with the anger and jealousy that actually fit the situation. I really couldn't blame him for those.
This…thing he and I were trying to build…it was bigger than we were. It had a life of its own-it was obsessive and possessive and primal. It was all-consuming. It was heaven and hell.
Even in the midst of this rollercoaster ride with Edward, I was dealing with everything from my end too. I was both angry at-and afraid- of myself. How dare Edward accuse me of something when I have done nothing to make him feel distrustful of me!
And then there was that swooning, wanton feeling that came with hearing him call me his girl.
I was giddy and frustrated all at the same time.
And of course, Jacob was here to witness it all. From the look on his face he wasn't too happy about the display that carried on before him. Maybe, it had something to do with the fever that overcame him but somehow, I doubted it.
"Bells- this is kinda bi-polar even for you, isn't it?" Jake asked, sitting Indian-style on the floor next to me. It was like he could read my mind just by the steadiness of my eyes.
"How do you know? Yesterday was the first day I've seen you in like forever," I growled, internally licking my wounds.
"Hey-hey, its Jake remember? You don't have to bite, I won't try to get in your head or anything," he said in a reassuring voice and the smile that etched over his lips didn't touch his eyes. These weren't solar flares.
"I'm sorry- I just don't know what's going on with me anymore. Its like one minute I'm alright and the next I'm beside myself. It can't be healthy but-I can't seem to make it go away either." I shook my head, feeling suddenly sorrowful and almost-depressed.
I felt like a junkie on a bad T.V. show. You know, when the main character finally realizes they have a problem but just didn't know how to make it better. Where was my perfectly cued music and montage of all the helpful options in my life?
All I could envision was Edward.
"You can't be sorry for what you have no control over," Jake said gently. "But I'm here for you Bells."
"Thanks Jake because right now, I really do need you." If he only knew how much I actually did need those solar flares again.
"Well good, then we agree on something, finally." he rolled his eyes and like reading my mind, he tossed me radiant beams. My flares were back and not a moment to soon.
~)(~
"So, you want to tell me about that little hissy-fit you pulled at dinner? I mean it was just a joke- you know that right?" Charlie sniffled, squeezing his nose into the tissue he held.
It was almost 9pm and he looked pathetic in his pajamas and old-man slippers with that horrible dark blue and black striped robe. Charlie's nose was bulbous and red and his face looked pale, especially with his bushy black eyebrows and mustache contrasting the white of his skin.
At least he didn't sound as stuffy as he had been before dinner. Maybe the soup really did help him out a little. I was still a little worried about Jake and his fever, I'd have to give him a call tomorrow and make sure he was feeling better.
"I wouldn't say it was a hissy fit. It was more of a generalized aggravation with a father trying to interfere in his daughter's teenage love-life," I grumbled and drew my legs up toward my chest as I sat on the couch in the living room.
"So, you admit to having a love-life?" Charlie raised his brow and leaned back in his recliner, adjusting his position to be able to look at me and then look away in more comfort.
"Dad," I gave him the voice that said I didn't want to talk about this.
"Well Bells- I'm not too comfortable in talking about this either," he scratched the back of his neck. "Any one of these yahoos in particular?"
Didn't Charlie and I just have this conversation a few days ago?
He must have seen the look in my eyes that screamed my discomfort with this. "You don't have to name names or anything-not yet at least."
When I shot him the evil eye, he put his hands up defensively. "Hey, I am trying to be a cool parent here but at some point I need to know what's going on. And let's not forget- this is a small town Bells, of which your dear ol' dad is the chief of police."
"Isn't that entrapment or something?" I groaned.
"Nice try, kiddo."
"Well, I'm pleading the fifth amendment." I didn't have anything to say that was Charlie-friendly when it came to Edward or my love-life so it was better to err on the side of caution and bring this portion of our conversation to a close.
"Just out of curiosity Bells-what's the chance for Jacob?" he asked. Charlie loved a good mystery to solve and the moment he said Jake's name I could almost feel the wishful thinking leaping off of him.
"Dad…" I warned, rolling my eyes.
"Mike Newton?"
I remained absolutely quiet but I was sure he could tell by the look on my face that Mike was definitely not on my nor his imaginary list.
"You know I talked to his Dad not a day ago- " Charlie continued, taking up the mug of tea I had made for him after Jake and Billy left. "the kid seems to have it for you. Comes from good stock but not as good as Jacob of course. Which reminds me, Mr. Newton did say he is going to be looking for some part-time help."
"Really?" Now that sparked my interest. My funds were at an all time low and I wasn't about to mooch off of my dad's moderate income. A part-time job would be exactly what I needed to get motivated-and some income to put towards college next year. Of course, if I didn't get a scholarship, my first year of college was going to have to be delayed until I could raise the money.
"That perked you up. But which part-the job or Mike Newton?" Charlie was definitely on the case.
"The job opportunity part," I laughed and tried to hide myself in my hair. "Really, we need to stop talking about this already."
"It's not Edward Cullen is it?" My dad asked and his tone was much more serious than before.
"Dad," I whined to avoid his direct question.
"Alright Bells-I'll let you have this round but you still owe me an explanation on what happened yesterday." His playful detective voice was gone and it replaced itself with the slightly more authoritative 'dad' tone.
"There's nothing to talk about," I tried the evasive approach.
"You hurt your hand and you skipped the first half of your classes. I'd definitely say there is something to talk about Bells." He sipped his tea but I could feel his eyes on me, trying to read between my lines.
It was obvious the lie I had fed him on how I hurt my hand hadn't gone over too convincingly. At least he was kind enough to avoid that part.
"Listen kiddo-you're not the rebellious type and you're certainly not the spoiled, fanciful type either. This isn't like you." Charlie was right, it wasn't like me. But then again, I didn't feel much like the 'me' I had come to rely on most of my life.
"It doesn't matter what I say, it isn't going to take any of it back." I responded as calmly as I could.
"That's true but at least we can get through this a little easier if we are straight with each other. I don't want to punish you Bells-that's not how I handle things. I just want you to be open and honest with me."
How could I refuse that? Charlie was offering me the chance to spill the beans and be straight forward about it. It was just too bad that I couldn't and in truth, I didn't know if I ever would be able to.
If Edward and I really did make a go of this-how were we going to do it with every obstacle plus Charlie in our path? At some point I would have to figure out why he disliked Edward so much-and work around it. But that 'if' was still a long ways away.
So, I dug deep and pulled out a nugget of truth since he already knew I really couldn't lie worth a damn. "The move hasn't been easy for me, Dad. I get anxious sometimes and- I just needed a chance to breathe. I mean, Jessica is supposed to be my best friend but I'm at the point where I'm starting to hate her. Without her, I don't have any friends and I don't know anyone here but Jacob and he goes to the Reservation school."
"So where does Alice Cullen fit into all of this?" His tone softened. I wasn't really lying.
"She's been really nice and friendly to me- so I opened up to her a little and we both ditched to get some coffee and talk. I know that wasn't the best plan but Dad, I'm trying," I said gently.
"Bells- no one made you come here, this was your choice remember? Not that I wasn't excited to have my daughter back but if this is making you so anxious then why did you leave Phoenix?" His question hit the target, hard.
"Mom and Phil want to travel for his baseball career and I know I could have gone with them, it just didn't feel right. I missed you and this place-from what I remembered of it," I said earnestly and the only part I had left out was James.
Just thinking of him made me cringe.
"Dad-I know it was stupid and I should've come to you but there are just times when I need to deal with things myself. They won't always be the best choices in hindsight but still, I've got to go with my gut."
Charlie half smiled at that last comment. "You sound like your old man."
"Well- then I must be doing alright." I nodded and yawned. I was tired and mentally drawn and quartered. "So, are we cool, Dad?"
"Yeah Bells- we are. Go head to bed and I'll be up shortly," he said, leaning back in his chair.
I got up and stretched and turned for the stairs.
"I'm glad you did this, Kiddo. Of course, your still on restriction but maybe I'll parole you on good behavior."
"Night Dad," I said with a laugh as I trudged my way to my room, hopeful although doubtful, that I could finally get a full night of sleep.
~)(~
EPOV
Emmett and I were still outside and huddled near the car while everyone went inside. Apparently a big meeting was about to take place and Esme and Carlisle were the only ones of our family asked to attend. I heard something about a will and burial requests but everything was spoken too hushed to make sense.
Alice was heading to bed. She had been strangely quiet tonight and I wasn't sure if it was exhaustion or missing Jasper or maybe mourning for Irina that had clipped her wings.
Something inside told me it was none of those. But then again I couldn't trust my own judgments right now. I was on edge about this Jacob guy and still battling with my insane fucking cravings to be with Bella.
God damn, the need for her was eating me alive. I wanted her bathed in my scent so this Jacob guy knew exactly who my Bella belonged to.
"Bro-you gonna share the conversation or keep it in your own head?" Emmett groaned, huddled into the NorthFace jacket that he normally reserved for skiing.
"Some guy named Jacob answered Bella's phone tonight," I growled, pressing my gloved hands deeper in my pockets. "I know its innocent and all but I want to know who the fuck this guy is."
"Jacob? I don't think I know anyone named Jacob," Emmett had that far away and thinking look. He looked like he was hurting himself.
"I don't know but- " I never had a chance to finish my sentence.
"Wait-there's this Jacob that goes to school on the Reservation. Big sports guy- Football, track and I think even Baseball. Ringing a bell yet?" Emmett asked, giving me that 'eureka' look.
Jacob. Sports. Reservation. Football. Baseball.
And there it was. I knew exactly who Emmett was talking about.
Jacob Black. Ridiculously huge guy, a Reservation All-Star with multiple sports under his belt. Why hadn't I thought of him before? And why was he hanging around my Bella?
"Edward, you alright?" Emmett asked and I realized my lip had curled up into a sneer.
"Guys don't hang out with a girl unless they want something," I growled and before Emmett could respond I saw him motion behind me.
I smelled cigarette smoke.
Laurent.
And in an instant all of my frustration and angst manifested itself into one solitary vision of a skater-punk with a smug look on his face. I saw fucking red.
I crossed the distance between the driveway and Laurent, huddled in at the front door. My legs pumped with preternatural speed and I barely registered Emmett calling out behind me.
Laurent ditched the cigarette and backed up but it was too late. I leapt onto him, knocking him back into the snow as my thighs tightened around his sternum-my hand poised to strike him in his pale-white fucking face.
"Edward, NO!" Emmett's voice registered but my hand was already coming down.
The first punch landed and I wished I had taken off my gloves so I could feel the fucking impact of Laurent's face, packed into my fist like a slab of meat. I growled and wailed for a second punch as the victim under me struggled to move his head out of my range.
The smell of blood was in the air.
Emmett caught me, pulling me off of Laurent by my forearm, landing me on my ass on the snow. When I scrambled up to get my fucking hands on him again, my brother once more interceded.
That gave Laurent all the time he needed to jump up and wipe the blood off his face, cursing at me like I was the devil himself.
"Let me go," I growled, thrashing against the hold Emmett had on me. For all my fucking speed and agility, I couldn't break Emmett's brute, almost bear-like strength.
"Not here Bro," Emmett said in a voice of such deadly calm. I knew had the circumstances been different there would have been no reason to break this up.
"Fuck that," I growled, making one more attempt to get out of the vice-hold on me.
"Go ahead, Emmett-let him go. Let's get Tanya and the whole family out here," Laurent said with a snide fucking smile, licking at the drop of blood that ebbed down the edge of his lip from where I split it.
"What?" my brother said, pulling me back and taking away the few inches I had managed to gain at his distraction.
"You heard me, let's blow the spot up right here Emmett. Let's let Tanya know what this fuck-tard has been doing while he's been avoiding his girlfriend." Laurent half cocked a smirk, reaching into his pocket to produce a pack of cigarettes.
"Are you fucking crazy, dude? Seriously? I just pulled my brother off of you and you want to smack talk shit?" Emmett was on the defensive. He let me go and cracked his neck from side to side.
"Crazy would be breaking up with your girlfriend on a phone and then pretending to be her man while her sister is getting put into the ground," Laurent scoffed, lighting up like he didn't have a fucking care in the world.
I kept myself in place by sheer force of will, ready to pounce but knowing that by taking action and pummeling this mother fucker into the ground, all this shit might blow up and go nuclear on the two families innocently involved.
"This is none of your fucking business but since you decided to put your nose in it, it's time I broke it," I seethed, my voice low and deadly and downright fucking serious.
"Lets do this, Cullen. What's the fucking hesitation?" Laurent exhaled blue-tinged smoke, licking his lips in twisted satisfaction.
That son of a bitch was calling me out.
"Bro, he isn't worth it and we don't need the fucking drama." Emmett's arm flew out against my chest to keep me from moving forward.
"Either you tell her or I will, Cullen. Mark my fucking words, I'll fuck your world up so bad you wont be able to pursue your little slut back in Forks without the fear your parents will disown you." Laurent laughed.
I fucking lost it. Right there in the driveway the moment he referred to Bella as a slut, every ounce of restraint I had went flying out the God-damn window.
Laurent turned tail and tried to get away from me but I wasn't having that. I caught him, swinging with fast, furious precision and backing him up till he had no were to fucking escape.
My grip on reality was gone. Laurent was a target and I became the speeding bullet that ached to rip his life away from him.
I was barely aware of Emmett trying to get between us or the commotion coming out the door…or two more sets of hands dragging me off that skater-punk-fucker.
I swung wildly as we were separated and it was the hand that caught mine and the blue eyes that bore into me that brought me back to fucking reality.
Carlisle.
"Edward Anthony Cullen," He said in the strongest tone I had ever heard, his hand shaking atop my fist. "Enough."
~)(~
I sat in the study with my head hung into my hands, holding a stinging alcohol soaked cloth to my eyebrow. I said nothing as I listened to the synchronized breathing of my parents and Emmett in the room with me.
Laurent was with Eleazar, Kate and Carmen. Alice was with Tanya. The division was evident like a trinity breaking apart at the seams.
"Did you both plan this? Is that why you remained outside while we came indoors?" Carlisle asked and I looked up. His sleeves were rolled up and I knew he had been in to see Laurent who had received the worst of the fight.
"No, Dad." Emmett leaned back with one hand braced over the reclining chair he had claimed. "This wasn't premeditated."
"I find it hard to believe," Carlisle leaned his elbows on the desk before him, sternly looking his sons over with fatalistic eyes.
"How could you both do this? Have we taught you nothing?" Esme said with such disappointment. "During this emotional and trying time to disrespect our families in this way, it is just…barbaric."
"It wasn't our fault, Mom. Edward was defending someone," Emmett started but Carlisle was quick to cut him down.
"So was Laurent," our father said. "Emmett, you are excused. For now, I think it is best your mother and I speak to Edward alone."
"Alright," Emmett said, stopping to pat my shoulder as he passed me. I nodded and waited for the moment my parents would strike in a unified, singular blow.
The moment the door closed, I knew the arena match was about to begin.
"Edward, what exactly has gotten into you?" Carlisle asked with a blunt and frank tone that had me already feeling like shit under his shoe. I had heard this rigid, unyielding tone before- back when Emmett was having run-ins with the wrong crowd.
"Look, I just want to say that Emmett had nothing to do with this. He was being the voice of reason and trying to keep shit…err, things clear. This is my fault and I won't have him suffer because of it."
"The last request of a condemned man, honorable," Carlisle bridged his fingers before his face, steel blue eyes commandingly and unnervingly locked on mine. I could taste his disappointment in me, it was palpable and all fucking consuming. "This doesn't answer my question, however."
"Dad, I don't know how you want me to answer. Nothing I can say is going to make this any better," I said slowly, careful of my tone.
"You can do better than that, Edward." Carlisle said in a no-nonsense cadence.
What the hell was I supposed to say?
"Edward, please answer your father." Esme sat with her hands in her lap, the picture of poised patience. But I knew the difference in her eyes, they ebbed onto me in a shock and awe campaign of their own.
I had fucked up, big. My actions had let them down and I knew they were right to feel that way. For all I could say about my parents, the unending patience and support they showed me underwrote anything negative I could ever conjure up.
I never wanted Carlisle to look at me like the good son gone bad. Right now, caught in this fucking maelstrom of want and need and anger and jealousy, I was adrift without navigation. That didn't mean I was too happy about the stern-hand shit that was rolling downstream at me.
But I understood.
"Dad, I was going to tell you about Bella and I last night when we said we would have dinner together. That didn't happen obviously and now everything is out of control," I said as blatant and honest as I dared to be.
"I see," Carlisle said, leaning back in his borrowed chair, no longer bracing himself on the desk. "I wish you would have come to us sooner about your plans, Edward."
"We weren't really sure where this was going, Dad. And to be honest, Bella and I still aren't 100% cemented," I responded in kind, leaning back and removing the soaked cloth from my face.
"That still doesn't have any bearing on what happened tonight with Laurent," Carlisle said, exhaling sharply. He looked as anguished as he was angry, as though he too had felt the inescapable darkness that loomed over me.
"Edward, we understand your situation and should have anticipated that young love, as you had with Tanya, does not always last forever. However, you need to see all sides of this," Esme said sternly. "Though no one could have dreamed of the horrors that befell Irina and her family, the timing of all of this comes completely inopportune."
"I know," I said, scrubbing my hands against my eyes and wincing at the sting as my palm passed my wounded brow.
"None of this, however, has anything to do with what happened tonight with Laurent. You realize that having attacked him, you are making this precarious for all parties involved," My mother continued.
"And in that, we are forced now to make a desperate choice." Carlisle softened his tone but the disappointment in his words was evident. I hated how they made me feel.
"What choice is that, Dad?" I had no idea where my father was going with this. What desperate choice was he talking about?
"With your agreement, we are going to have to clear the air tonight. I am going to ask you to come clean to Tanya. I believe this damage control might be the best option available if it is your choice to no longer be with her," Carlisle said, holding his eyes on me to gauge my reaction.
"I think that might be the wisest choice, though not the one that will be easiest for our families to bear. Considering the powder-keg between yourself and Laurent, Edward-this might be the most proactive way to prevent further…issue." Esme said, resettling her hands in her laps. "It is wrong to continue to lie to Tanya, even with the death of Irina so new in our minds and hearts."
I could see the line my parents were drawing in the sand. In order to prevent Tanya from hearing about our break up through Laurent and exacerbating the situation even further, having it out in the open was the only course of action remaining.
I wanted to curse myself for everything that had happened; for hurting Bella and for doing this to Tanya at this exact moment in time with her sister newly passed on.
I also realized just what my parents were putting on the line for me. Considering the heightened senses surrounding the death of Irina and now the very public break up with Tanya, there was no way to gauge the reaction the family would have, if they knew before hand or not.
And then there was Tanya, already half crushed from the passing. I didn't know just how deep down the rabbit hole she would end up when this came to light. Either way it had to be better than hearing it from Laurent.
My eyes scanned both of my parents and I could see the dissolution and concern and disappointment etched into each fleck of their gazes. But within I also saw strength, solidarity. I saw how deeply they believed this was the best tactical move that could be made and that they were willing to suffer the consequences with me.
"Alright, I am ready whenever you are," I said with a new sense of conviction in my voice.
"The sooner the better, I believe," Carlisle said as he rose. He paced for a moment before coming to a stop in front of me.
"Alright," I responded, my eyes meeting my father's. I felt like a child before him, looking up into the vision of the man I hoped I would someday be; poised, dedicated and respected.
To my own surprise, his eyes softened. He drew himself down to my level, kneeling before me while placing one hand on my shoulder.
"Edward, I want you to know that I can understand some of what you are going through. Though it is not the exact same situation, there are similarities," Carlisle said gently, his eyes following mine as I searched within the nearly opaque blue of his gaze.
"What I am going to tell you, never leaves this room," he said and with a sudden sense of dread, all I could do was nod. My father had never said that to me before and to my knowledge, he had never said it to Alice or Emmett, either.
I gave him a concerned and confused silence and after a long pause and a glance back to my mother, he began.
"When your mother and I met, she was quite involved with a gentleman by the name of Charles Evenson. Their's was a young love that had turned sour and I just happened to meet your mother as the end was already near." Carlisle continued and I was surprised. I had never heard a word of Charles Evenson. Of all of the stories of my parents meeting, this one had never been divulged.
I was intrigued.
"As you know, your mother and I met when I was a young Emergency room intern in a small hospital in Ashland, Wisconsin. What you do not know, is that the love turned sour when Charles had grown abusive to your mother."
I looked to Esme, the demure picture of motherly-perfection. She still sat with her hands in her lap, poised. However, her eyes had changed from fiery to something I had never quite seen before as she studied my father.
She looked to my father as though the word love had been crafted in his name, alone.
"Yes, Edward. It is a seldom discussed truth, something we didn't believe our children ever needed to hear. I trust you will keep this in confidence. Please," Esme said with a gentle pleading.
I would take it to my grave, even as I was filled with a desire to find this Charles Evenson and pay him my own form of abusive justice for having ever….ever done a harm to my mother.
My fist clenched in my lap and I had no words to say. So, I nodded and returned my eyes to my father but I knew…that he knew…the change in my gaze.
"I will not go into details, Edward. Let it be said that it was a short time before I put in for a position in Chicago and took your mother away with me," Carlisle said with a calm that could only come from decades of having lived with the agony of knowing someone had lain a hand upon the woman he loved.
"I married your mother the moment she was ready to grant me the honor. I tell you this story so that you understand how well I know what it means to be a part of a situation of this caliber. I was not always a husband and father, I was once just a man in love. Having you and Alice and Emmett is the crowning glory of that love." Carlisle rose up and this time I stood with him.
"Dad," I said, not waiting another moment to wrap my arms around my father. I hugged him to me like a child in the midst of a nightmare, thankful that he returned the embrace.
"Are you ready, Edward?" Carlisle said as he patted my back reassuringly, breaking the impromptu display of affection.
"Yes," I said with assuredness.
That was all my father needed. He turned and gazed for a moment at my mother before leaving the room entirely.
I took the opportunity to move to her side, kneeling before her and bracing my forehead against her own. "I love you, Mom."
"As I love you, Edward. We trust you and although this does not come at the opportune time, an end must happen tonight if you are to move on to be with Bella. Promise me you will bring her over, I would love to meet the girl who has infused my son with such life," she said gently, brushing a copper lock of my hair behind my ear.
"I will, and I'm sorry for this. All of it." I said while closing my eyes.
"Apologies are not needed, Edward. We are with you, difficult as this may be." My mother sighed softly, even as I was haunted with a need for revenge on Charles Evenson and the weight of my own situation with Tanya still ripping like fire through my veins.
I never expected to feel this empowered or supported. It was safe to say, my parents were two of the most amazing people on the planet.
~)(~
"I still don't understand why I am being herded in here like cattle," Tanya protested as she crossed the threshold of the study.
"I am sure Carlisle would not request a family meeting at this late hour without provocation," Kate said as she shuffled in behind Tanya, still dressed as she had been through the night and looking older and more exhausted than I had ever seen her.
Carmen and Eleazar said nothing as they came in behind Kate, I couldn't read their eyes but they moved like stone, sure and reserved. I was positive they all must have known. Laurent didn't seem the type to keep this kind of personal vendetta against me quiet if he had gone to my own parents.
I sat and waited to receive everyone but was surprised with the entourage adjourned to an ante-chamber connecting to the study. I was relieved that this situation wouldn't have an audience but the proximity still bothered me.
The walls couldn't be thick enough to guise this conversation if I knew anything about Tanya and her over-reactions. Of course, with tensions and emotions running high surrounding the death of her sister, I had no idea what Tanya would be capable of upon finally hearing the news of our break up.
I took up residence in the arm chair I had been sitting in before, anxiety and concern ebbing through me. I put my game face on…and thought of Bella.
I could almost see her in her bedroom, enshrouded by her purple comforter giving me those come hither eyes. I had a world waiting for me when I came back home to Forks. This was the final step I needed to take to make my way to her.
"Oh my God, Edward, what happened to your face?" Tanya said, rushing over to me, tracing my face with her fingertips without ever touching my skin. "Baby, what's going on?"
Had she really not heard the scuffle? Did she actually not see Laurent, who was on the shallow end of a thorough ass-beating?
"Tanya, don't," I turned my face away and looked over to the chair next to me, vacant before the desk Carlisle had sat at earlier. "Come and sit down, please."
She looked confused as she rose, brushing her honey hair back behind her dainty ears. "Edward, what's wrong?"
The innocence in her voice was almost shocking to me. Knowing Tanya as long as I had, I knew she was anything but. The intimate knowledge only we shared made it difficult to imagine how the hell I was supposed to start this.
"Please, sit down. I need to talk to you," I said in a brusque tone I hadn't anticipated.
I heard the door close behind me and the presence of my father filled the room. He too followed into the ante-chamber. I could hear him whisper something about using this room as an "in case of emergency" as he passed.
That was reassuring.
Alice and Emmett hadn't come in with the others and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Not that I wouldn't recall it all and relay it to my siblings.
Eidetic fucking memory, remember?
Where Laurent was, I couldn't give a shit. The further away he stayed from me right now the better…for all parties concerned.
"Are you going to tell me what happened to your face? Where's Laurent?" Tanya went from a shocked tone to an accusing one, leaning toward me as she sat down. "What the fuck did you do, Edward?"
"That seems to be the leading question of the night," I maintained in a deadly serious calm, adjusting my position so I could see Tanya more fully and not the multiple sets of eyes silently judging me.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Tanya was becoming increasingly irritated.
"There's no easy way to say this Tanya and this certainly isn't the best time," I said confidently. "I am breaking up with you. It's over and there is someone else."
I watched my words register but her response was completely fucking wrong. "Alright, now I know your screwing with me. Where is Laurent and what's really going on?"
I watched Tanya scan the room before turning back to me in disbelief.
"Laurent is nursing a beat-down, Tanya. He heard the voicemail l left you last night before all of this happened with Irina," I said more forcefully, waiting for her to catch on. "He went to my parents. We got into a scuffle. And it's time to clear the air so we have no more situations like this for the rest of the time I'm here in Alaska."
"You can't be serious," Her determination wavered as she stared me right in the eyes. "Someone else? There cant be someone else? No, Edward. All of this is a load of bullshit. Why would you say this to me?"
I leaned forward now, giving her heavy eye-to-eye contact. "I'm sorry Tanya. It's over."
Tanya moved with lightning speed, up on her feet and in front of me before I had time to register it all. "You worthless piece of shit! How fucking dare you do this to me-you're a fucking monster, Edward! A fucking Monster!"
I stood up as she screamed just in time to avoid a wild flying backhand she meant to connect to my face. "You bastard-you do this to me at the lowest fucking point in my life? Here? Now? With my sister not even in the ground?"
Tanya wailed like a banshee and grabbed whatever was on the desk before us, smashing various items to the floor, toward the wall and almost breaking the curtained window behind us.
"I'll kill you, I want you dead!" she roared and I heard the door to the ante-chamber open.
Eleazar intervened, wrapping her up in his arms from behind. Whatever he said to her, I couldn't hear. I was standing as still as possible when Tanya spit at me in anger.
That's right, fucking spit at me.
Tanya's legs flailed as Eleazar pulled her back, her voice a continuous screaming profanity with a few "How could you do this to me" broken sentences thrown in. I'm not going to lie, I felt like shit for it to come down like this but I was relieved at the same time.
I heard Kate and Carmen rush into the room followed last by Carlisle and Esme.
"You wretched bastard!" Carmen cried out at me, rushing to her sister's side as Eleazar brought Tanya down to the ground, where she could be more easily controlled.
"We admit the timing is inappropriate but considering the situation with Laurent, it had to be brought to the forefront now," Esme said in a strong tone. "Our families have overcome worse than this together, everyone needs to realize there was always a chance of this happening."
"Now? At such a moment? Esme, you know Tanya is already fragile," Kate said with a stern and hateful voice.
"I'll take a hundred pills and kill myself! Would that make you happy Edward? Then you could run back to that slut you think can replace me! I swear, I'll do it!" Tanya screamed from her position on the floor. I could see Carmen on the ground with her, desperately trying to hold her sister to her own body, protectively.
"That is certainly not what Edward wants," Carlisle jumped in. "Not all relationships are meant to be. We support Edward's decision and we will be here to help Tanya handle this."
I watched the circus that exploded all around me. Carmen and Kate defended Tanya while defaming me; my mother and father remained calm while trying to defend me and still assert their support of the family; Eleazar tried to keep Tanya safe while looking up at me with understanding eyes.
I swear to fuck, I was having an out of body experience. I hated seeing Tanya like this and the fighting that I caused the night before Irina's closed casket viewing.
I stood stone still and listened to every obscene and horrible thing Tanya's family called me. I took it like a man but I was getting angrier by the moment.
And then I heard one statement sing out above the cacophony of screaming mayhem this study had become.
"I am sorry Carlisle but Edward can not stay here. It is already late but he must leave first thing tomorrow, arrange it," Kate said in a deadly-cold tone.
"I understand," Carlisle responded calmly but I could see the anger and indignation flash in his eyes. "We will all be going with him."
My eyes went wide the moment my father's words registered.
Carlisle and Esme were willing to leave, here and now and in the midst of this terrible unforeseen passing of a beloved family friend.
And there it was, for all the disappointment I could feel from my father and mother on this situation, they stood beside me. Unabashedly my parents came to my defense, choosing to forsake the family that had been like their own-to protect me.
"As you wish Carlisle," Carmen said and I could almost taste the venom in her words. Her dark eyes fell on me and I stood my ground.
I felt shitty for doing this now,but I knew this was going to be the only chance I would get before Laurent kicked it up a notch and went to Tanya himself. Every shriek that rose out of her mouth as Eleazar held her on the floor tore through me and reminded me this would be the most selfish thing I had and would ever do.
The way for Bella and I had been cleared at a fucking intense price.
Fate really was a bitch.
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A/N:
A very special thank you to Brits_23, author extrodinaire and Beta-Goddess of my universe. If you havent visited her stories please...treat yourself to everything she has written at:
http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1849726/
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An Important Note on your Concerns from VvDeadRosesvV...
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So, I wanted to take a moment to respond to a few reviews I recieved for the last two chapters. There was a concern that this tale had slowed down and that Snarlward had become a little less...Snarly and sure of himself.
I wanted to say that I try desperately to write in a realistic fashion. Considering the situation and angst surrounding Edward, I felt the need to go into a little more depth, as it defines the future for E x B.
I also understand that since I had taken a nearly full-year-hiatus, that things are obviously seeming to progress a bit slower. That really isnt the case if you read it again from start to finish. However, those concerns are about to change, now that we have everything flushed out to a place it needs to be.
I understand it is hard to be a reader, frustrated and concerned about where the story is going and how long it's going to take to get there. I have twists and turns all along the way and more yet to come (some are good, mind you). All I can ask of you, is to be patient with me...to see the greater vision of the ficcie and know that I havent lost touch with your Snarlward.
I understand everyone wants to see E x B in a place of calm, lemony-smut-heaven. Believe me, I want the same. By the drop off of reviews I recieve, I am thinking people are frustrated and moving on.
I respect that.
But, if you stick it out and show me the love...if you believe the way I believe, Breaking Trinity will show you the depths of depravity that rival the angst.
If your still here, thank you. If you have moved on, Snarlie and I miss you.
Breaking Trinity is a journey that I hope you are all still willing to take with me. I would be really disappointed if you didn't.
Remember, Reviews aren't just a place to say "Yay". They are a direct link to me and to Snarlward...to tell me your thoughts and your feelings, to share with me the joy and sorrow and fear you have had along the way. That little button at the bottom is a way for you to hypothetical...to let me know where you think BT is going...and how much it has meant to you along the way.
I take every word personally. Some authors might wave it off, but I take every comment as a source of your hopes and frustrations.
It is a difficult and human thing to share your creativity with people, especially in an Anon enviornment. When I sit down to write BT, I have you all in mind as well as the love I have for the characters I have crafted in the quasi image that Stephanie Meyers have outlined for us.
If you are still out there, I need to know...how this is all going.
Snarlward: Are we starting this shit again? *rolls his eyes*
Me: I dont see what you mean?
Snarlward: Dont see what I mean? Arent you reading this as well. Jesus-H-Christ, woman.
Me: Alright. Gotcha. I wasnt really being literal.
Snarlward: Trust me, your literal enough for the rest of us. Anway, you gonna offer some kind of positive-vibe-leave-me-a-review-team-rally or something?
Me: Well, Snarly-we have a host of people that are really involved in this re-telling of your adventures. They let me know how things are going.
Snarlward: Well, Little MIss-you must be shit wrong to have 25k hits but only 300 reviews in two chapters right?
Me: Wondering if anyone out there even gives a shit anymore, other than the two dozen that I rely on for every theory and kind word and criticism. They know who they are.
Snarlward: Wait for that and you might as well wait for Santa Clause. *stares at the author while she sets out a fresh plate on a holiday style table* Wait, are you really putting out Cookies for the Morbidly Obese, Fashion-backward old man? Seriously, red velvet tracksuits are so damn 1970's. And that red nose, total ski-sloping-cocaine-addiction.
Me: Dont make me dunk your head in milk, Pal.
Snarlward: I prefer Bella covered in white but hey, I'm a kinky Prick.
Me: *rolls eyes* We havent gotten to that yet.
Snarlward: Well, type faster.
Me: Go away.
Snarlward: *sighs* Im not being very sensitive am I? Look, your telling a story that some people are just..frustrated with. Life isnt about instant gratification, they'll get over it or they wont.
Me: I am just feeling a little...underwhelmed, I guess. I hope everyone is with us, Snarly.
Snarlward: Tis the fucking season, Right? *looks from side to side* Hey, am I getting what I want for Xmas?
Me: Please, dont go there...
Snarlward: My panty Collection is getting a little skimpy and not in a good way...
Me: Well, lets see if you can be a good boy for about 4 minutes out of the year.
Snarlward: If thats a bet, your on.
A/N 2:
Seasons Greetings and please enjoy the selections I have prepared for you. Since my next update wont be until after the Holiday Celebrations, I impart you with this:
http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=3RbMaJho_YA&feature=related
http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=MHioIlbnS_A
Next Update: Approximately 12/29/10- 1/05/11