Chapter 26

There she is. Mrs. Shepherd. Katherine. I'm guessing she's waiting for Derek to finish surgery. Or Mark. Should I go talk to her? It's going to happen, I know that already. It would be nice to find out more about Derek from his mother. And it might help. Can't knock it 'til you try it right?

"Hey Mer."

"What?" I say, jumping a little in shock. "Oh, hey Lexie."

"Are you ok?" she asks, furrowing her eyebrows slightly.

"Yeah. Just...It's nothing."

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like its nothing. You've been staring at that lady for the past five minutes."

"I haven't been here that long," I frown.

"You kinda have. Who is she anyway? Do you know her?"

"That's Derek's mom."

"And you're staring at her because..." she says, looking at me questioningly.

"I'm trying to decide if I should go talk to her or not," I reply.

"Well, she seems nice," she offers.

"She is."

"You've talked to her?"

I nod. "Once the other day. But Derek was there. Mark too. Now they're not. So I don't know if I should go."

"Do you want to?"

"A little bit, yeah. What do you think?"

"Hmmm. What would you say to her?"

"I don't know," I say, twirling a few strands of my hair in my fingers.

"But you want to talk to her."

"Yeah, kinda. I mean, she'll probably be able to help me understand Derek better, you know. And I already kind of told her I'd talk to her," I say, uncertainty evident in my tone.

"Then you should. I can't tell you what to do, Mer, but I think it's a good idea. At least without Derek around you can ask anything right?"

"I guess. I don't know, Lex."

"Go for it. You said she's nice and she looks like she could use some company. Besides, if it'll help you grow, what do you have to lose?" she says encouragingly, giving my shoulder a small squeeze.

I let out a deep breath. "You're right. Absolutely right. It's just Derek's mom and I've met her and she's nice. I can do this," I say with a slight nod of my head.

"You can, Mer. Absolutely," she says with an encouraging smile.

"Okay. I'm going. Wish me luck," I say straightening my posture and walking towards the Mrs. Shepherd, with what I'm hoping is enough confidence to mask my nervousness. "Hello, Katherine."

She looks up from the magazine she is reading and smiles, "Hello, Meredith. How are you?"

"I'm doing alright. Yourself?" I ask, taking a seat beside her.

"I'm doing very well. Is it always this rainy here?"

I let out a small laugh, "Yeah. You get used to it. Are you waiting for Derek?"

"Yes, would you happen to know what time he'll be out?"

"Uh, I can go and check for you if you'd like."

"That's ok, dear. I can wait." she says shaking her head.

"Oh ok. Would you like to go for a cup of coffee?"

"Sure," she says, putting down the magazine and gathering her things. "So how do you like being a doctor?"

"It's great," I answer with a smile on my face as we walk towards the lobby. "Tiring, but great."

"I remember when Derek and Markie first started their internship. I barely saw them."

"Yeah. The hospital owns us. It's a little easier now that I'm a resident, but not by much."

"It'll be worth in the end. As long as you're happy."

"I hope so," I say with a small sigh.

"You are happy, right Meredith?" she asks, concern washing over her features.

"I think so," I say, nodding slightly. "Sometimes, I feel like something's missing, but most days, I'm ok."

She lets this go for a bit as we reach the coffee cart. We order our coffee and head over to the sitting area. "Something's missing?" she asks.

I nod, "I'm not really sure what it is, but sometimes at night, when I'm laying down on my bed, just before I go to sleep, I feel...alone."

"Do you miss Derek?"

"I...yeah, sometimes," I say avoiding looking at her. I feel a little uneasy talking to Derek's mom about Derek, but that is the point of this. She knows Derek probably better than anyone else, at least who Derek used to be. "Sometimes, I feel like having him there at the end of a long shift when I just need a hug," I continue.

"He misses you too, Meredith, everyday," she says taking a sip of her coffee.

I give her a small smile. "I want to be with him, but I don't know if I can," I admit.

"Because of the past?" she asks. I nod in reply. "You can't let that affect your future, Meredith. I know my son is not the brightest man in the planet when it comes to relationships, but I do know that he loves you so much and he's doing everything he can to prove to himself he deserves you."

"But...I'm the one who doesn't deserve him," I say softly as I finish off my coffee.

"Oh Meredith, you both deserve each other. From what I've seen and heard, it seems that you both just need the time to find yourselves and learn to love who each of you are so that you can fully give yourselves to each other. I'm happy to see that you're both taking the time and steps to be ready for each other. That's what makes a strong relationship, dear," she says, rubbing my shoulders lightly, reassuring me that Derek and I may still actually have a chance.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I say, giving her a smile.

"I've had some experience in the relationship business," she laughs, "Now enough about that. Tell me more about yourself. Are from Seattle?"

"Originally," I nod. "I was born here, but my mom and I moved to Boston when I was six. I went to Dartmouth for med school and moved back here for my internship."

"And your mother. I'm sorry about that, Meredith. Derek told me," she says giving my arm a small squeeze.

"Thank you, but it's ok really. We had our closure and despite our rocky past, we were able to move past it."

"Well that's nice to hear."

"Yeah. I never really knew it, but my mom did love me the best way she knew how," I say with a smile. "Can I ask you something, Katherine?"

"Of course, anything," she says smiling at me.

"What was Derek like as a child?"

"He was the kind of boy any parent would want to have. He had his moments of mischief, of course, with Mark around," she says with a laugh, a faraway look in her eyes as she reminisces Derek's childhood. "He has always been bright. I always knew he was going to be a brilliant doctor. Both him and Markie. They were terrible together."

"They still are," I interject with a laugh.

"Yes, they are. I don't think that's ever going to change, but I love them for that. They certainly made things interesting. Derek was a very carefree boy. You don't see it as much now, but he was. And he was very happy. His world revolved around his father and his father's revolved around him. They were inseparable," she continues with a wistful smile.

"Then what happened?" I ask.

"Michael passed away."

"I'm sorry," I say giving her arm a small squeeze.

"Thank you," she says before continuing, "When he passed, Derek's eyes lost their sparkle. He was still the same way with Markie, running around playing pranks on the girls, but he just wasn't the same person. That's when he started shutting himself off in his mind. I used to worry about him. He didn't let himself grieve."

"Is that why he ran away to Seattle after he found Addison and Mark?"

"I can't tell you that," she says shaking her head. "That is something Derek will have to tell you about himself. But I do know that around you, the same sparkle he had as a young boy comes back."

I blush slightly, "Thank you."

"No, Meredith, thank you for bringing my little boy back."

"Oh. Uh...You're welcome, Katherine."

"The two of you still have a lot to work on Meredith, you just need to communicate. I know you both can work through this and be happy together," she says with a smile.

"I hope so. I really do love him. I know that sometimes, it doesn't show, but I do"

"I know. And he knows it too. Just remember what you're fighting for. It's very nice to see that both of you are trying to get ready for each other."

"I...Yeah," I say, looking up to see Derek heading over towards us. "There's Derek," I tell her pointing at his direction.

"Perfect. Just remember what I told you, Meredith." I nod as Derek reaches us.

"Hi Mom," he says giving her a kiss on the cheek, before turning to me, "Hey Mer."

"Hi Derek, I was just talking to your mom."

"Yeah," he says with a smile, "Thanks for keeping her company."

"No problem. I was on my break and I saw her and she was alone so I thought I should go over and talk to her," I say looking at my watch. "I should get back. Bailey's going to have my head if I don't get back to the clinic."

"Thank you for the coffee, Meredith," Katherine says, giving me a hug. "I hope I get to see you again if my son ever lets me come back to Seattle."

"Mom," Derek groans.

"You're welcome. And thank you for the advice. I'll be sure to remind Derek that you want to see him once in awhile," I say with a laugh before turning to Derek who was rolling his eyes at me, "I'll see you around Derek."

As I walk away, I hear Katherine tell Derek, "Don't ever let her go." This brings a smile to my face. She really likes me. Despite Nancy and despite everything that has happened, she still likes me. And she wants me for her son.

I'm ready. I am ready to take the next step with Derek. Now all we have to do is talk.

--

hey everyone, so i'm not sure when the next one will be again. i have an exam on wednesday and i have to pack to go home and go on vacation and all that jazz that comes along with it. i'm going to try and get it done by wednesday since i already know what i want to do with it, but if not withinthe next three days, then definitely by next weekend. thanks everyone for the comments and for reading. it means lots to know i'm not doing this for nothing :)