CHAPTER 25

Bella POV:

I heard Jacob drive off in the truck as I closed the door then smiled as I leaned back against it. Admitting to Jacob how much I really loved him felt good. It felt really good. My heart soared at the thought that our plan could really work. I wanted more than anything to be with Jacob, and I knew it wouldn't be easy. But I was determined now to make it work, and the first step would be talking to Edward. I took in a deep breath as I stepped forward to go and find him. I knew would need every once of strength I could muster to find Edward and have this talk. I walked into the living room to find Emmett and Jasper lounging on the sectional watching some kind of sports on the big screen TV. "Hey, sis. How's it going?" Emmett called.

"Good. Carlisle assures me that the baby is fine and due March 31st," I reported.

"Great, I'm happy for you," Emmett returned with a smile. "I know how worried you were."

"Yep. Uh, have you seen Edward? I need to talk to him."

Emmett glanced at Jasper as he said, "I think he's with the baby, right?"

"I'm sure he is. He never leaves her," Jasper answered in his lazy Texan drawl.

"Alright, thanks. Carry on," I told them with a smile as I walked by them on my way to the OR room where Carly was staying. As I approached the room, I could see it was dark, which was strange. I flipped on the light to see it emptied out and cleaned up. Where was Carly?

I turned to hurry back to the living room and asked, "Where is Carly? She's not there!"

Jasper spoke up, "They moved her up to the nursery today. Didn't Edward tell you?"

Upstairs . . . to the nursery. As far away as she could be from me. Instantly, I was pissed. Edward knew I wasn't supposed to be going up and down stairs yet. "No. He tells me nothing," I spit out as I headed for the stairs. I hit the steps running until a sharp pain in my ribs and incision stopped me. "Damnit," I muttered as I bent in half willing the pain to go away. I was still recovering from surgery and I had probably pushed myself too hard today with driving and walking on the beach. And of course, now would be the time my body would choose to rebel.

"Bella? Are you alright?" Emmett asked from behind me.

I fought back a wave of nausea as I got out, "No, I'm not. I'm pissed and in pain. Not a good combination."

I heard Emmett chuckle then say, "Let me help you, OK?"

Nodding, I let him put his arm around my waist to help me up the stairs. Emmett was so huge, my feet barely touched a step! Once we got to the top, I stopped, as I realized I had no idea where the nursery was.

Emmett looked down at me and seeing my frustration, pointed out softly, "This way," as he guided me to the right.

We walked slowly down the hall to the room beside Edward's. OK, I should have guessed that. I thanked Emmett then entered the room and stopped in awe. This former mostly empty room had been transformed into a garden with fairies and flowers and trees with little white twinkling lights . . . it was stunning! There was a unique cream-colored wrought iron crib draped in sage green and gold and the antique rocking chair was now here along with another overstuffed upholstered chair and ottoman in the same sage green with a floor lamp behind it, perfect for reading bedtime stories. There was a dresser probably stuffed with clothes and a changing table, stuffed animals, a bookshelf lined with storybooks, and a rocking horse . . . it was like a dream! And not one thing here was picked out or bought by me . . . her mother.

I finally focused on Edward, who was sitting in the upholstered chair while Rose rocked Carly in the rocker, and I asked furiously, "Did you just forget to mention that you would be moving my daughter today into a room that was as far away as possible from me?"

Emmett cleared his throat behind me and said, "Um, Rose, I think maybe we should leave these two to talk, OK?"

Rose first glanced at Edward as if to get his opinion and when he nodded, she glared at Emmett then at me. I knew she hated to give up any time at all with Carly, but she was MY child. I walked toward Rose and took Carly from her, bottle and all, and then took her place in the rocker as she stomped from the room. I smiled my thanks to Emmett, who winked back then closed the door behind them.

Trying very hard not to look at the bottle of blood I was now holding and that Carly was sucking down very hungrily, I turned my attention instead to Edward, who said smoothly, "I'm sorry I didn't say anything this morning before you left, Bella. It wasn't on purpose. I had no idea the nursery was ready. Alice and Esme suggested it after you were gone," he explained.

"Everyone here knows that I'm not supposed to be going up and down the stairs yet," I returned, not even trying to hide my anger. "Emmett had to drag me up here just now. How am I supposed to see my daughter?"

"No one is trying to keep Carly from you, Bella. I guess we just didn't think about it."

"Of course not. No one here thinks about me at all."

Edward looked at me as if I had horns growing out of my head as he asked, "What is wrong with you? Why are you suddenly acting like a spoiled child?"

My jaw dropped at his remark. "A spoiled child? Is that what you think? Edward, look around you! THIS is the room of a spoiled child. Do you realize the amount of money that was spent on this room alone? I can't even imagine how many clothes are stuffed into the dressers and closet and yet not one thing in here was chosen or bought for this child by me, her mother."

"Is that what is bothering you? You think we are spoiling Carly? She is barely a week old. How can she be spoiled?" I noticed how he completely ignored the remark about none of it being chosen by me, which was my whole point.

"Stop it, Edward. You know what I'm saying. I know that money is nothing to all of you, but I don't want Carly raised getting anything and everything she wants. And I, as her mother, would like to be included on decisions regarding my daughter. Like where she sleeps, what clothes she wears, and what toys she plays with. I feel like you all are trying your best to push me out of her life."

"And I feel like you don't really want to be involved in Carly's life. Not while you have your boyfriend and his baby," Edward snarled.

I was taken aback at that, but I guess I shouldn't have been. "My boyfriend? Isn't that a little juvenile for you?"

"Well, then, what would you call him?"

I closed my eyes for a moment and leaned my head back against the rocker. I was really hoping we could discuss this like adults, but maybe that wasn't possible. I looked down at Carly and ran my hand gently over her fuzzy head. She had her eyes closed as her bottle was now gone, and her body felt heavy in sleep. I pulled the bottle from her mouth, set it on the small table beside the chair then turned to Edward. "I need to talk to you, Edward, but I want us to try and be civil with each other. Can we do that?"

Running his hand through his hair, he finally nodded, "I suppose we can try."

"I know that things have changed between us. I know you don't have the same feelings for me, do you?"

Edward hesitated for a moment before answering me then shook his head. "No, I don't. And you love him, don't you?"

I, too, hesitated for a moment then admitted softly, "Yes, I do. I'm sorry, I should have been truthful with you before the wedding, Edward. I should have told you what happened between me and Jacob and how I was feeling, but I was scared. I had known for so long what I wanted . . . I wanted to be with you and be like you. I was kind of thrown for a loop at the new feelings I had for Jacob, and . . . well, I thought I could go ahead with my plans and forget him and everything would be alright. But, of course I had to get pregnant and now . . . here we are."

Edward gazed at Carly, sleeping in my arms and said softly, "Yes, here we are."

"I love this baby, with all my heart, and I am so happy that she is alive and doing well. I don't regret her, Edward. And I can see that you don't either."

"No, I don't."

"But, I can't stay here anymore. I am so unhappy, and feel so alone . . . I hate being shut out of Carly's life and feeling so weak. And I can't have Jacob's baby here. So, I would like to stay here for a few more weeks to bond with Carly then I am moving back to my dad's house to live and . . . I hope that you and I can work out a divorce and some sort of custody agreement for Carly. I am so, so sorry for how things turned out for you and me, and I will always regret hurting you. I do still care a great deal for you Edward, but I can't be your wife any longer. I hope you understand."

Edward stood up and walked over to the wall of windows to look outside. With his back to me, I couldn't tell what he might be feeling or thinking, so I pushed myself out of the rocking chair and moved to lay Carly down in her elaborate crib. Once I saw that she was settled, I walked over to join Edward by the windows.

"Do you need your answer right now, or can I have some time to think things through?" he asked quietly.

"Of course you can have some time," I answered.

Edward looked over at me and then surprised me by running the back of his hand gently over my cheek. "I am sorry, too, Bella." I grabbed his hand before he pulled it away to turn it and place his cool palm on my warm face to relish his touch. It was the first he had touched me in so long. Then, unexpectedly, Edward leaned down to kiss me, very gently on the lips. Time seemed to stand still in that moment, but as Edward pulled away, I had the feeling he was saying goodbye. Then his cool mask slipped over his face once again, he stepped away and walked over to the crib to gaze lovingly again at Carly.

After taking a moment to recover, I said, "I'm very tired, and Carlisle told me today that I need to continue to take it easy, so I think I will make myself a sandwich and then go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Without pulling his gaze from Carly, he uttered, "Alright. Good night."

I walked slowly to the door and opened it then turned back for one more look. Edward stood at the crib, staring down at Carly and I wondered if he would stand watch there over her all night like he used to with me. I felt a small pang in my heart as I remembered all those nights . . . humming my lullaby . . . it seemed a lifetime ago now.

I slowly made my way down the stairs to the kitchen, where I put together a turkey sandwich, grabbed a carton of strawberry yogurt and a bottle of water then headed for my room. I sat in the chair to eat my sparse dinner while I watched some documentary on the Civil War on the History Channel then when I was finished, I put on some pajamas and crawled into bed read for awhile as I waited for Jacob's phone call. I knew he would want to know how my talk with Edward went, and I wasn't really sure what to tell him.

I actually dozed for a little bit then glanced at the clock when I woke up to see it was after eleven. I picked up my cell phone to see if I had any missed calls. It wasn't like Jacob to miss our phone time at ten.

I had not missed a call, so I dialed his home phone and waited for him to pick up. Instead, I heard Rachel answer rather sleepily, "Hello?"

"Oh, um, hi Rachel, it's Bella. Is Jacob there?"

"No, he's not home," she grunted angrily. "I'll tell him you called." Then she hung up. I closed the phone and sat looking at it wondering why Jacob's sister hated me so much. Was he really not home, or did she just say that because she didn't want him to talk to me?

I wasn't sure, but I didn't want to bother her again, so I set the phone on the nightstand, turned out the light and decided to try and get some sleep.

The next day was another tough one. After I showered, dressed, and had some breakfast, I slowly made my way up the stairs, hoping Carlisle wouldn't catch me, to the nursery to see my daughter. Rosalie and Edward were both there, as always, and when I walked in, Edward was changing Carly's diaper while Rosalie was pulling some clothes from the dresser.

"Good morning," I called out, in as cheery of a voice as I could manage. "How is my beautiful baby girl today?" I asked as I made my way to Edward.

"She's perfect," Edward cooed at her with a smile, avoiding all eye contact with me.

"She looks bigger. Has she grown more?"

"Yes. Carlisle was just here and she has gained 2 more pounds and grown another inch," Edward reported as he finished with the diaper.

I looked down at Carly and smiled at her as I tickled her belly softly. "Look at you, pretty girl, growing so big."

"I'll get her dressed now," Rose announced as she stepped over to the dressing table.

"I'll do it, Rose," I told her as I held out my hand for the clothes she had picked out.

She stood her ground for a moment, again glancing to Edward as if to see what he would say and when he gave her a slight nod, she handed me the clothes with a huff and stalked from the room.

I glanced at Edward as I slipped the shirt carefully over Carly's head. "I'm sorry, Edward. I don't mean to hurt her, but I am Carly's mother, and I want to take care of her."

"I understand, Bella. I'll talk to her."

"Thank you." I finished dressing Carly then asked, "How long ago did she eat?"

"About a half hour or so. She shouldn't be hungry again for a couple of hours," he answered rather stiffly. I guess he was still hurting from our conversation last night.

I sat down into the upholstered chair, propped my feet on the ottoman, and laid Carly lengthwise on my lap so I could smile down at her. "Hey, pretty girl. Your mama wants to spend some time with you. Is that OK?" I touched her little cheek and was surprised when she smiled at me. "Did you see that? She smiled at me!"

Edward gazed at Carly lovingly, as always, and smiled. "Yes, I did. She smiles at me all the time."

Of course she does . . . I should have realized that. I went on chattering at her until Edward interrupted with, "I guess I will leave you two alone for awhile. Call out if you need anything."

"We'll be fine, won't we?" I cooed to Carly. Then as Edward turned to leave I said, "Edward?" Once he turned back, I told him, "Thank you." After giving me a curt nod, he turned and left the room.

So, as usual, I was left alone, but at least I had my daughter with me this time. I talked and cooed to her then picked her up and walked her around the room, looking at all the things that were put here for her. I picked up each stuffed animal and showed it to her then we talked about the fairies on the wall and the flowers . . . at first I felt rather silly, but I wanted her to know my voice and hear how much I loved her. Carly placed her little hand on my cheek and let me see how she saw the room and the things I showed her. It was very interesting communicating this way.

As I sunk back down into the chair, I wondered if anyone had taken any pictures of Carly yet. She was growing and changing so fast . . . I wished I had a camera. Then I remembered that there was a camera on my cell phone, so I pulled it from my pocket and smiled down at Carly. "Can I take your picture? A mom should have pictures of her sweet baby to show off, shouldn't she?"

Laying her out on my legs again, I snapped a couple of pictures of her. Then I picked her up and held her close while holding the phone out to take one of us together. As I looked at the pictures I took, I smiled and then my smile faded as I realized I couldn't really show these photos to anyone. How could I explain Carly to my parents or friends?

Tucking the phone back into my pocket, I whispered to Carly, "It doesn't matter. I have you here with me, and that's what really counts."

After that, I sat in the rocking chair and hummed some of the lullaby that Edward had written for me and before long, Carly was asleep. I held her as she slept for awhile then finally laid her in her crib to let her nap.

Stepping over to the windows to look out over the forest, I could see the sun peeking out from the clouds and suddenly I wished I had a stroller to put Carly in to take her for a walk. Maybe that was something I could actually purchase for my daughter. I decided I would have to look into that.

Turning from the windows, I looked around wondering what to do with myself now. I realized that if I were a normal mom and Carly were a normal baby, there would probably be plenty to do while she slept. Laundry and cooking and cleaning . . . but none of those things needed to be done here. It was all done for me. I felt rather useless.

So I wandered over to the chair and sunk down into it while I propped my feet on the ottoman, wishing I would have brought my book with me. I had a book on pregnancy that I read each night before I went to bed, but it was on my nightstand. I was not going to make that long trek all the way downstairs to my room and back just for a book. So, instead, I took my cell phone out of my pocket and decided to call Jake.

He never called me back, so I again wondered if Rachel had even told him I called. I let the phone ring at least 10 times and no one answered. I hung up and wished for the hundredth time that Jake had a cell phone. Maybe I would spend some of my savings on one for him . . . although I was trying to keep that money for things we would need for our baby.

As I sat there thinking about that, Esme walked in with a small laundry basket full of clean clothes. "Oh, hello Bella. Is she sleeping?" she asked quietly.

"Yes. Here, I'll take those," I offered as I stood to reach out for the basket. "It will give me something to do. I feel rather useless just sitting here."

Esme nodded and let me take the basket, muttering, "Of course." Then she crept over to the crib to look down at Carly. After a moment or two, she turned and walked back to say, "She's so beautiful."

"Yes, she is," I smiled. "We're very lucky. I'm happy she is doing so well."

An awkward silence filled the room as we just stood there silently looking over at the crib. Finally, taking the laundry basket with me, I sat in the chair to fold the clothes and commented, "It's very quiet in the house today. Where is everyone?"

Esme looked a little uncomfortable trying to give me an answer to that question for some reason. "Uh, everyone is busy today . . . and I have things I need to get done, too. See you later." And with that, she left the room.

As I folded the tiny baby clothes, I felt so sad that the Cullens hated me now because of my feelings for Jacob and my betrayal of Edward. They had welcomed me with open arms from the very first time I met them and now . . . now they treated me like a leper . . . someone to be avoided at all costs. Except Emmett. For some reason, he still offered me his friendship, and I really appreciated it now more than ever.

I sighed as moved to the dresser, opening drawers, trying to figure out which clothes went where. I hated that I had hurt them all, but I couldn't take it back. I knew now that I loved Jacob, that I had always loved Jacob, and I would be with him. I just hoped they wouldn't try to turn my daughter against me.

Setting the empty laundry basket on the floor by the dresser, I moved to the closet and spent some time looking at all the precious little dresses hanging there. Alice had just as good of taste in baby clothes as she did adult clothing. There were all different sizes, I assumed allowing for her fast growth. I finally closed the closet door then chose a book of nursery rhymes from the shelf and sat down again in the chair to read through it.

I must have dozed off while I was reading. I woke to Carly fussing and just as I pushed myself from the chair to go to her, Rosalie appeared out of nowhere with a bottle for her. I turned to her and said, "Rose? Would you mind feeding Carly for me? I promised Carlisle I would do better on my eating, so I really need to go and get some lunch."

"Of course I will," she said as she gently took Carly from her crib.

"Thank you, Rose. I really do appreciate all you do for Carly."

Rosalie gave me a look that said she wasn't sure if she believed me or not, but she then changed that look to a small smile as she settled into the chair and placed the bottle into Carly's hungry mouth. "It's alright. Take as much time as you need," she said softly.

I left my baby in Rose's very capable hands and went slowly down the stairs to the kitchen to make myself some lunch. Again, I thought it strange for the house to be so quiet as I walked through the living room. Carlisle would be at the hospital, I suppose, but where was everyone else? And it was really strange for Edward to be away from Carly for so long. Maybe they were hunting . . .

I made a huge salad for my lunch and grabbed a carton of yogurt. I ate in my room in front of the TV again because it felt even more lonely to sit at a huge dining room table all by yourself. Once I finished eating, I tried to call Jacob again. This time Billy answered.

"Oh, hello Bella. How are you?" he asked in a friendly tone.

"I'm fine, thanks. You?"

"Oh, you know, I'm as ornery as ever."

I had to smile at that. "Is Jacob home? He was supposed to call me last night, and I haven't heard from him yet."

"No, he's been out all night. I'm not real sure what's going on. I just figured he was filling in for someone on patrol or something. I'm sure he'll be home before too long. I'll let him know you called."

"Thanks, I would really appreciate that. I've been kind of worried."

"Jacob proudly showed off the picture of the baby to us yesterday. That's really something."

Picture? Oh the ultrasound picture! I forgot Jacob had it. "Yeah, it is. Carlisle assured us that everything is fine with the baby, but I'm still supposed to take it easy for a few more days." I waited for a moment to see if he had anything else to say, and when he didn't I said, "Well, thanks, Billy. I'll talk to you later."

"Sure, Bella. Take care."

I hung up with a huge sigh. What was going on with everyone? Jacob is out all night . . . everyone here is gone. Is there something going on that no one is telling me? Wouldn't be the first time.

I made my way slowly back upstairs to Carly's room to find Rose just laying Carly in her bed for a nap. She quickly excused herself from the room and so I settled myself into the chair to read my book that I remembered to bring with me this time. I hadn't read very long when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and answered quietly, "Hello?"

"Hey, Bells. I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to call last night."

"Is everything OK? Your dad told me you were out all night."

"Yeah, I just gave Leah the night off and took her patrol. I felt kind of guilty for all the shit she's been doing for me, so I felt it was only fair. Um, how are you?"

"I'm alright. I spent all day yesterday with Carly, and I'm here with her now while she's sleeping."

"How did the talk with Edward go?"

I quickly filled him in on what we had said to each other then finished with, "I told him he could take some time to give me his answer, and so far, he as avoided being with me."

"So, he hasn't said . . . anything? I mean, do you have any idea what he's thinking?"

"No, not really."

There was a silent pause then I heard Jacob sigh. I knew he was sick and tired of waiting for me and I felt horrible again for the way I had treated him. "Look, Jake, it won't be long. I'll wait until tonight then I'll approach him again, OK?"

"Yeah, OK. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a pain in the ass, but I need to be with you, Bella."

"Me, too. I miss you so much."

"That's really good to hear." Again there was a pause, and then he said, "I don't mean to cut this short, but I just got home and I really need some sleep. I'll call you later tonight, OK?"

"Sure."

"Hey, I love you."

I couldn't contain the smile that spread over my lips as I said softly, "I love you, too." As I closed the phone and stuck it back into my pocket, I thought how lucky I was to have a guy like Jacob so in love with me. Why had it taken me so long to realize what I had? I vowed right then that I would have to work harder every day to let Jacob know how much I loved him and that I was so glad he was in my life.

I spent more time in the afternoon with Carly and later, I fed her a bottle, gave her a bath and put her to bed - the first time for that. I actually enjoyed it very much.

Edward returned just as I was leaving Carly's room and I filled him in on our day. "Where have you been all day?" I asked.

"Hunting," was his short reply.

"Oh. Well, I'm going down to my room. Unless . . . you want to talk? You know, about what we talked about last night?"

"No, I want to spend some quiet time with Carly." Then he dismissed me with a nod and moved toward Carly's crib. I once again got a faint whiff of Tanya's perfume. So, he's seeing her again.

"Alright then. Good night," I said to his back once again, and walked away.

As I was settling in for the night, I heard a knock on my door. "Come in," I called out, actually hoping it was Edward with an answer for me.

I was somewhat surprised to see Rosalie appear, with a smile on her face and a cup in her hand. "I was afraid you might be asleep already. I brought you a cup of tea," she told me as she approached the bed.

"Oh, wow, um . . . thanks." I tried to hide the look of shock on my face and hoped it looked more like a smile that wasn't being too forced.

Rosalie handed me the cup of tea and I took a sip. "It's not too hot, is it?" she asked anxiously.

"No, it's just right. This is very nice."

Her beautiful smile lit up her face and made me wonder what the hell was going on. Why is she being nice to me?

"I just want to say that I'm sorry for the way I have been behaving toward you when it comes to Carly," Rose began. "I know that you are her mother, and I shouldn't be so possessive, but I love that little baby so much, and . . . "

"I understand, Rose, really I do. I know that you never had the chance to be a mother, and I'm happy that Carly has an aunt like you to love her and take such good care of her. But, we have to find a way to compromise."

"I know, Bella. I will try harder, I promise."

I gave her a small smile and took another sip of tea to show her I appreciated her gesture. Returning the smile, she said, "Well, I'll let you get some sleep. Good night."

"Good night, and thanks for the tea."

Rosalie smiled again then left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. As I drank the tea, I wondered what caused her change of heart. Did Edward talk to her like he promised, or did she do this on her own? Whatever happened, I hoped we could find a way to get along for Carly's sake.

I settled back into the pillows to wait for Jacob's call, but suddenly I was very sleepy and could barely keep my eyes open. I managed to just set the tea cup on the nightstand before I fell back onto the pillows and blackness surrounded me.