THE FIC THAT WILL GET ME IN TROUBLE WITH A LOT OF XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN FANS AND MADE ME CHANGE THE RATING FROM TEEN TO MATURE.
WARNING! WARNING! DANGER WILL ROBINSON: THIS FIC IS DISTURBING AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUBLISHED IT, BUT I DID ANY WAY. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THREE SOMES, JACK SPEAKING IN THE THIRD PERSON, KIMIKO BEING REFERRED AS A HOER, RAIMOUNDO TAKING STEROIDS, AND MASTER FUNG SMOKING AND DRINKING, READ THE FIC AFTER THIS. IT MAY BE MORE WHOLE SOME, IF THERE IS ONE. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED! IF YOU PRECEDE READING, YOU CANNOT FLAME ME, REPORT ME OR ANY OTHER THINGS THAT CAN HURT ME, OR CAUSE ME TO HUNT YOU DOWN OR KILL YOU. IF YOU CANNOT RESTRAIN YOURSELF FROM READING, IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT. YOU'VE BEEN WARN! READ AND BE SCARED FOR LIFE! Oh, and if you like it, give me some good reviews and I'll write more! This fic was inspired byKosmic's Just Wrong. THIS IS YOU'RE FINAL WARNING! GO AWAY AND READ SOMETHING ELSE! NOT REALLY THOUGH!
Jack was busy being Jack, when he heard his wu detector go off. "Jack Spicer must
get the wu, because… Jack have none," he looked over to his wu safe thingy; it was
empty. He walked out his basement to his living room to see his parents in the nude
doing some things that they should only do in a secured, locked, sound proof room.
"Jack is going out Mom. Be back later," Jack stated, unfazed by his parents dirty
deed as he walk to the door. "Whatever, just don't come back in…um…a long time….
um…" Mr. Spicer paused. "…Son?"
"Yes, Jack a boy," Jack said.
"Yes! You're a boy, not a girl that we wanted to name Jaquiline, nope, not at all!" he
went back to doing the deed. Jack walked out the door and flew off.
"Master Fung! A new shen gon wu has activated!" Omi ran excitedly to Master Fung,
who was currently finishing off his joint and a big bottle of whiskey. "Yes. Go Jomi.
The world needs more pumpkins like you in the world," Fung ecstatically said in his
normal way that he always talked; ripped out of his mind. "Lets go!" The now
smothered in make-up Kimiko said. She was wearing dark blue eyeliner and eye
shadow, with a deep dark red lipstick and a very ground into her skin rogue. Like she
always does, she looked like a hoer. Raimoundo was in an extremely tight, black
muscle shirt, showing off muscles that no kid his age should have. He took out a
bottle and started chugging pills; the bottle said "Steroids". That explains why he
doesn't have any bulge what so ever. Clay, with his 10,000-gallon hat, was waiting by
Dojo, who both had just recently had a joint as well. They were chewing on tons of
cheese and other dairy products. A gust of wind blew by and took Clay and his way
over sized hat with him. "Bye! Have a nice trip! See ya next fall!" Dojo waved as he
grew to his larger size. They flew off to the wu, along with Clay, who found out he
could control his hat and use it as a flying devise.
Chase Young and Wuya were alone talking to each other, when Wuya sensed a wu. "A
new shen gon wu has reveled itself!" She screamed in her rugged man voice. Chase
Young replied, in his wimpy girly voice, "Yes, we should go get it," and he went to the
door to start looking for the wu. "Wait! Lets get a drink first! I'm thirsty!" Wuya begged.
"Fine, one drink then we're out of here!"
"OKAY!" Wuya went to the kitchen to the faucet and got two cups of water. In one,
the lady who needed a shave dropped a pill and the water started fizzing. She came
out to the man who need a haircut badly and gave him the fizzing cup. He drank it
and fell to the floor, out cold. Wuya dragged Chase to his room and locked the door,
like the she-man did so many times before.
Jack landed and a butte that looked like a butt. He looked to the sky and saw the
steroid using Raimoundo, the hoer-like Kimiko, the pumpkin-headed boy named Omi,
the over-sized-cowboy-hat-wearing Clay, and the high-out-of-his-mind Dojo. Jack
preceded to yell, "GET OUT OF THE WAY FOR, JACK SPICER, EVIL BOY
GENIUS, WILL GET WU FIRST!" he dove for the wu. Kimiko dove for it as well. "Jack
challenge hoer-girl to Xiaolin Showdown!" Jack screamed.
"Hoer-girl EXCEPTS! Thank you for the compliment!" She grinned, showing that she
had barely any teeth what so ever. "Jack challenge you to a race! First one over line
will get wu! Jack will beat pants of off hoer-like girl!"
"I expected!"
"LET'S GO! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!" They both shrieked. The environment changed
into a large track. They lined up and shouted, "GON YE TEMPI!" They ran as fast as
they could. Jack, running like he always does, like a gorilla. Kimiko running like a
girly, wimpy, hoer-like girl, like she always does. They both crossed the line at the
same time and the wu exploded. Jack started to snivel, "Jack want wu! JACK WANT
WU!" He started rolling around in the dirt, bouncing off near by trees and huffing and
puffing all over the place. Kimiko just stood there, slapping on more make-up. She
didn't care if she didn't get it on right, so she looked like a six-year-old child got into
its mother's make-up. She smiled again to revel all of her three teeth were covered in
red lipstick. "You turn me on," Raimoundo stated as he started making out with
Kimiko. He took of his pants to revel a pair of pink, lacey, bunny covered underwear.
He took those off to revel, nothing. Not one bit of his genitals was left after his steroid
use, but Kimiko didn't care. She'd had sex with all the monks at the monastery,
everybody in Tokyo, and most of the world. That included Jack, which she'd had sex
with twelve times. "What, what? Rai has no weddin' tackle! No sausage and two
eggs, no stick and stones!" Clay stated in shock. "I think I'm in love," and he started
humping and manly she-boy. Omi just stared at the catastrophe scene. "I never seen
such a unruly display of sportsmanship! I never had seen any genitals on Raimoundo
any way, so that doesn't surprise me. Kimiko having sex with anyone she can get her
hands on is nothing new, but Clay humping Raimoundo? That's not something you
see every day!" Omi took out a camera and started taking pictures as Chase and
Wuya appeared. "I don't get why every time I have a drink of water I faint and
wake up naked and my penis sore…" Chase Young wondered out loud, in his girly
voice. "I don't know," Wuya shrugged, in her manly man voice. They looked at the
current scene and were not shocked. They knew Jack was a whiny gorilla boy,
Kimiko was a hoer, Raimoundo has no penis or balls, Clay was gay for boys with no
penis or balls, and that Omi was pretending to socially inept and had a computer
were he could download the pictures that he took on his digital camera to the internet
and black mail everybody.
Chase walked over to Omi, picked him up, and started making out with the young,
yellow crayon colored boy. Wuya joined the fun and started making out. The Xiaolin
Threesome over yonder, were humping each other very hard and very fast, while the
Heylin and Xiaolin Three some were making out passionately. Dojo just sat there and
smoked his dope, rambling on about some thing about how he would like to eat Jomi
and how good she'd be on crackers.
I think I wrote this fic cause my mom sprayed the house for fleas and I've been in it all day, so I think I'm high. Maybe I'll ask that fleabag, Mickey (My cat.) if I'm high.
Me: Mickey is I high?
Mickey: If you're talking to me and can hear a voice coming out of my mouth, you may be high, or crazy. In my eyes, I'm leaning to the second one.
Me: I LOVE YOU TOO! (Cuddles Mickey.)
Mickey: MIFFFFF! (Thinking: Not again, again!)