Synchronicity

Chapter Twenty-Six

"So how are you really doing?" Donna asked her as they had lunch at their normal spot.

"I'm fine." She shrugged, poking her salad with her fork.

"Rebecca…"

"What do you want me to say?" She chuckled.

"How about you stop with bullshit and start with the truth?" Donna chuckled.

"I'm getting through it the best I can." She sighed. Right after he broke up with her, she believed every word he said about not caring about her. She started thinking that maybe there was something wrong with her because she couldn't get him to care about her. But after he sent her the packet of information that she could use against her father, she realized she was right the first time.

He did care about her. He had to in order go to such great lengths to do something that he knew would make her happy. He knew it haunted her that her father was getting away with murder because she couldn't do anything about it. So he fixed it for her. And that proved to her that he truly did care.

This whole break up was all about his own issues and there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn't force him to push past his issues if he didn't want to. The only thing she could do was move on with her life. "It's stupid, but I miss him."

"It's not stupid to miss someone you love." Donna pointed out.

"It is when they treated you like crap." She argued.

"Look, Harvey just…"

"Donna, I understand the why behind the behavior. But it doesn't make it hurt any less, and it doesn't keep me from being angry with him."

"That's understandable. You're not the only one who's angry."

She looked at her friend. "What do you mean?"

Donna sighed. "I haven't exactly been very nice to him since he broke up with you."

"Why?"

"Because he is being an ass." Donna explained. "And he deserves to know that he is being an ass."

"I really don't want my issues with him to interfere with your friendship with him."

"I'm still his friend and he knows that. But he has to also learn that actions have consequences."

She was quiet for a moment as she ate. Then she washed down her food with some water. "So how is he doing?" She tried to ask as nonchalantly as possible. It was the first time she had asked Donna about him.

"He…well he isn't doing that great to be honest." Donna admitted.

"How so?"

"I don't think he is sleeping very well. He is distracted. Mike and I have to double check his work now, which has never happened before. He is a bit of a mess."

While she wasn't glad he was a mess, she could take a tiny bit of satisfaction in the knowledge that he wasn't doing well without her.

"You are definitely winning the break up." Donna chuckled.

"It's not a contest." She laughed.

"No it isn't, because you are dominating it." Donna pointed out. "You know he asks about you pretty much every day."

"And what do you say about me?"

"I don't tell him anything."

"Why not?" She didn't understand. If Donna was willing to tell her about how Harvey was doing, then why wouldn't she do the same for him?

"Because it's not nice to kick a dog when he's down." Donna answered.

Rebecca sighed. "Have we now entered the part of the conversation where you tell me I should go talk to him again?"

"No." Donna shook her head. "I've been saying that for three weeks now and you haven't listened to me yet. So I'm done doing that. I'll respect your decision to let him go, even though I think it is a big mistake."

"For the record, I don't want to let him go." She explained. "Even after everything I still want to be with him. But I'm not going to chase after him. I shouldn't have to convince him to let himself love me. He either will or he won't. And he chose not to. So like you said, he needs to see that actions have consequences."

"So that part you listen to!" Donna rolled her eyes. "How are things going with Xavier?"

She scoffed. "I've been avoiding him as much as possible." She thought back to the conversation she had with him after Harvey punched him in the office.

"What did you say to Harvey to get him to punch you?" She asked, coming into Xavier's office.

"Nothing really." Xavier replied.

She glared at him. "Seriously? Harvey just walked right in and without any prodding decided to punch you? I find that hard to believe."

"He's unstable. Why did you side with him? I'm your boss. You should be backing me up, not your ex-boyfriend."

"That's what I need to talk to you about. Harvey is a topic that is completely off-limits with me. I don't want you to bring him up and I don't want to engage in any conversation about him from now on. Do you understand?"

"It's smart of you to cut him from your life." Xavier told her.

She ignored that comment and sighed. "So from now on you won't even mention his name to me, right?"

"If that's what you want." He agreed.

"So how is Xavier doing with that?" Donna asked.

"For the most part he is sticking to the agreement." She explained, a little hesitant about what she was planning on saying next. "I am thinking of finding a new firm."

"Really?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "I don't love the firm I'm at, and with all of the drama surrounding Xavier I just feel like I should leave and start over somewhere else."

"Have you called a headhunter?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

"Any good leads?"

"A couple." She nodded, noticing that Donna was staring at her.

"You aren't wanting to stay here, are you?"

"I'm just keeping my options open." She explained. She knew there was no way she would be able to keep Donna from intuiting that she wanted to run away. Her only hope was that Donna would leave it alone right now.

"I don't want to see you leave." Donna told her.

"I know." She nodded. "But nothing has been finalized yet. I'm just exploring what's out there."

"Just don't go too far out there."

She couldn't make that promise so she simply smiled at her friend.

The next day, Rebecca was texting on her phone as she was leaving the courthouse. She rounded a corner and ran into someone, sending her phone falling to the ground.

"I'm sorry…" She trailed off once she saw who she ran into. "Hey Mike."

"Rebecca." He smiled.

She watched as he picked up her phone for her. "Thank you."

"You know that texting and walking can be dangerous, right?" He chuckled.

"I do now." She laughed. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good." He nodded.

"And Rachel?" She asked. "How is she? I should call and check on her."

"She is doing well. She's in her second trimester now. We weren't going to find out the sex of the baby but the ultrasound tech last week messed up and so now we know we're having a girl."

"Congratulations!" She gave him a hug. "That's wonderful news."

"Thanks." Mike smiled as she pulled out of the hug. "We're both excited. But how are you doing?"

"I'm good." She nodded, trying not to look around. If Mike was here, there was a good chance Harvey was somewhere nearby too. And as much as she wanted to catch a glimpse of him, she also wanted to get out of there before he saw her.

"So he would kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but he really misses you."

"Mike…I don't know what you want me to say to that."

"Just keep it in mind." He told her.

She saw that Harvey was approaching them and found that she couldn't take her eyes off of him. Donna was right. He looked exhausted. She was winning the breakup war. He was staring at her as he approached. It was an intense gaze that made her feel like he was trying to burn a hole through her.

"Mike, we have court in five minutes. We should get going." Harvey said, still staring at her and not looking at his associate.

"Yeah, and I should get going too." She said, finally taking her eyes off of Harvey. She looked over at Mike. "It was nice to see you again."

"You too." Mike nodded.

Harvey watched Rebecca walk away and sighed. She looked amazing. It was almost like their breakup hadn't affected her at all. That wasn't fair. He was over here miserable and she seemingly wasn't.

"What was that?" Mike asked, getting his attention back.

"What?" He asked, looking at Mike.

"You couldn't even say hello to her?"

"She didn't want me to say hello to her." Harvey replied, continuing on his way to the courtroom.

"Oh, you are such an idiot." Mike chuckled.

"You have no idea." Harvey whispered to himself.