A/N Thanks for the reviews for the previous chapter, just a few things I would like to say.
A lot were saying why does Bella let Phil and James get away with this, why she doesn't go to the police.
Here are some Stats you may or may not know.
44% rape victims are under 18.
60% of attacks are never reported.
2 out of 3 are by someone the victim knows.
38% are assaulted by a friend or acquaintance.
15 of 16 rapists never spend a day in jail.
These facts are not in any way meant to upset anyone reading this, I just wanted to point out that Bella's reluctance to reporting Phil , James is very normal.
Back to the story...
BPOV...
Trying to remember the last twelve hours of my life was like trying to remember a song when you only knew a line of the lyrics.
Had my mind played a cruel trick on me , had I just experienced the feeling of unconditional love?
Had I watched a new life grow inside of me only to hold it in my arms for it to be taken away from me?
I haven't been out of my bedroom since arriving back , he had taken my cell from me and my laptop.
The curtains drawn , the lack of food and sleep I was beginning to wonder if I had ever left at all.
A sharp knock brought me back to earth.
Not waiting for a reply the door opened.
"Where's my mom?"
"Out"
"Where?"
"Convention"
"Where?"
"How the fuck should I know"
"Your her fucking husband , you should know"
He didn't answer striding across the room and grabbing my chin harshly he brought his stale breath so close I dry heaved.
"Watch your fucking mouth"
I attempted to pull out of his grip but he held me firm.
"I want my phone" it wasn't a request.
"Its broken , you must have dropped it" he smiled "You know what a fucking klutz you are"
"Fuck you" I hissed
Slap..
The feel of rust and salt crept into my mouth.
"I said watch your mouth"
"Eat" he snapped , thrusting a tray of food onto my lap , before turning to leave.
I stared at the plate , cold pizza, chips and a can of soda.
The door slammed , the lock clicked picking up the tray I flung it towards my door.
Day 3?..4?...
The nightmares are getting worse I cannot separate them from my waking moments.
Now when I see the screeching car , it is no longer dad driving , he is driving , in a sick kind of way I welcome the new images these let me know he was real.
My chest aches.
I wonder how he is doing.
When I thought of him , I thought of her , my Charley did she think in her tiny mind her momma had deserted her , would he still be visiting her telling her how much her momma loved her.
My chest ached.
Rubbing my fingers underneath my thick watch strap , I felt a familiar friend.
Unfastening my watch I threw it onto my bed and looked at the pink scars.
I had begun marking myself after dad had died , I needed to feel the pain I had caused him, but I needed to hide the scars from my mom so I did it under my watch.
I bit , pinched even burnt my skin with the metal of my lighter once , the pain had been so intense I had covered my face with my pillow.
Now pinching the sensitive skin under my fingers I felt the sharp tug of release , I pulled on it again twisting it between my thumb and forefinger.
It hurt , but not enough my mind reeling with visions of Edward and Charley I needed release I needed the pain out.
Moving to my bathroom I searched through my vanity for the small compact mirror my mom had bought me.
On finding it , I used the heel of a boot to break the tiny mirror.
Picking up a shard I saw my distorted image , that's exactly how I felt distorted , bent out of shape , broken.
A flash of green shone in the reflection , turning quickly to my bare white walls I saw nothing , turning the shard over again in my hands nothing.
My mind was being cruel , I had dared to love after what I had done to my dad and this was karma.
My chest ached.
Closing my eyes , bringing the shard to my wrist I felt the pain , the release.
Tiny pinpricks of blood gathered on my pink scar , rubbing it with my thumb I replaced my watch.
Day ?
"I want to use the phone" I snapped as he placed my breakfast onto the bed.
"What so you can call little boy lost , I don't fucking think so"
"Please Phil"I bit my tongue addressing him personally "I need to know , I need to know how she is"
Shaking his head , closing the door I flew from the bed and began banging on it.
A moment later the lock clicked.
Standing back he entered the room , phone in hand.
"You speak to the hospital that's it , no Cullen's!"
I nodded snatching the phone.
Phil stood in my doorway "Do I get some fucking privacy?" I snapped.
Eyes narrowed he left.
I called collect not knowing the number.
"Forks general can I help you?"
"Hello I would like to speak to the doctor in charge of caring for Charley Cullen please." my voice broke as I said our daughters name.
There was a long break before I heard the static of the phone being connected.
"Doctor Clearwater speaking" My breathing hitched it wasn't him , it was Carlisle.
"Hello doctor C how are you?" I whispered my voice threatening to break again.
"Better for hearing from you Miss Swan" he sighed.
Taking a deep breath and edging my bets Phil was listening in on the other line I spoke again.
"And how is that wonderful family of yours doctor C?"
He sighed realising that we were probably not alone.
"Could be better Miss Swan , but in the light of things I would say they are" he paused
"Coping"
Knowing that Edward was at least coping strengthened my voice.
"That's good to hear , give them my love" my voice cracked again.
"I will" he whispered his voice thick with emotion.
"How's Charley?" I whispered.
"She is thriving , she has had plenty of visitors who keep her happy by talking to her" I could imagine him smiling at the thought of being able to hold her and tell her that her momma still loves her.
I had to know how Alice was coping , Edward would understand , but Alice.
"Tink?" I whispered hoping Phil had got bored or at least wouldn't understand.
There was a long pause.
"She erm.." his voice quiet searching for the right words "She isn't dancing at the moment , but I believe you know what its like when something is broken , its hard"
I understood so well , she was so broken that she had lost the will to dance , just as I had.
The clicking of the lock made me jump, Phil stood in the doorway , the wireless phone in his hand slicing his hand across his neck.
"Well doctor C it was real nice talking to you" my voice wavered , I wasn't ready I needed to hear his voice he was my one connection to Edward.
"Isabella?"
"Yes?" I whispered.
"We all miss you here"
Feeling the tears flow freely down my face , seeing the phone lowered in Phil's hand I took my chance.
"I miss you" I whispered
"We all miss you too"
And the phone was snatched from my hand.
"What the fuck" I snapped.
"Trying to get a message to your boy?" he snapped
He really was a dumb fuck.
"Get up and get dressed we have a party tonight"he smiled closing the door.
Laying back on my bed I thought through the conversation with Carlisle , Charley was well , Edward was coping but Alice I thought as tears began to fall again.
Turning I pulled the duvet to myself and brought out my lighter.
I deserved pain , everyone I touched hurt , because of me.
Screaming into my pillow , the darkness enveloped me.
KNOCK KNOCK.
Slowly opening my eyes , I looked at the time eight o'clock.
The lock clicked.
Pulling my comforter up under my chin.
The door opened , I froze.
"Missed me Isabella?"
Pushing my feet on the bed , my back pressed against the headboard.
"Please no" I begged
"Aww I love how you beg , it just hasn't been the same without you, your friend Angela is just too timid" he smirked
"James , please no" I begged
"Now now" he crawled up the bed "Be a good girl , and I won't hurt you"
Grabbing my ankle he pulled me down the bed , holding himself over me he licked his lips.
"Edward" I whispered before darkness found me.
Xxxxxxxxxxxx
Okay please don't kill me lol