chapter twenty six: balancing on something unsure

"What do you think?"

Crane titled his head at Viper when she slithered out from behind her screen door. She had replaced the lotus flowers on her head with more autumnal varietals, chrysanthemums and blackberry lilies. She accented them with green peach tree leaves gone crisp and auburn around the edges.

Crane blinked.

"Those are different flowers," he said.

"Well … yeah," she replied. "Do you like them?"

"Uh. Yeah. They're … pretty?" He gave her a blank sort of smile, naive and fretfully optimistic, unsure why she asked his opinion but hopeful he'd given the right answer.

"I thought they'd be good for the Harvest Festival. More … harvest-y?"

"Oh!" Crane said. "Well, yeah, they're very … you know … more seasonal than the lotuses, sure. Goes with the theme and all. Fall flowers for a fall theme. Works. Heh. Right, let's catch up with the others! Everyone's waiting at the peach tree." He headed down the hall, anklets clinking, unaware of the look of disappointed resignation that passed briefly over Viper's face as she slithered quietly alongside him.

When they arrived at the peach tree Mantis greeted them. "Everyone already went down," he said, gesturing toward the sea of warm light at the bottom of the stairs.

Crane gave a toss of his head. "Hop on, I'll save you guys the trip," he said, and Mantis jumped onto his back, securing himself to his friend by grabbing his feathers.

"Aww yeah, courier service!" Mantis said.

"You too," Crane said to Viper.

"Thanks," Viper said shyly. She slung herself over his back, curling her midsection around his waist and chest, and her neck around his, pressing her chin hard against the nape of his neck to avoid the backlash of wind. As Crane lifted off she closed her eyes and sighed, allowing her nose to dip between his feathers. When she opened her eyes she looked directly into Mantis's.

He gave her a knowing look.

Viper blinked, flushed, and looked away.

ooo

"Here comes Crane," Tigress said, pointing up. "Oh, and Viper too."

Tables and a stage were set up in the central square, festooned with warm lanterns and garlands. The air filled with the happy sounds of drums and flutes. The tables were covered in food but no one ate. Traditionally the Masters were seated and served first as thanks for their service to the Valley. Po looked longingly at the meal but didn't so much as dip his finger into anything for a taste. Tigress found herself impressed with this as she ladled herself another cup of hot spiced wine.

"You're really slamming those down," Po remarked.

"It's only my second cup."

"Yeah, but, I mean…"

She raised her eyebrow at him. "I'm fine."

He shrugged. "I forget that you spent the last year being a hard-drinking opera-singing tattooed crazy woman."

Tigress smirked, raised her cup, and threw it back in one go.

"Watch out, we got a bad-ass over here," Po said.

"I believe the term is hardcore," Tigress corrected. She filled another cup and handed it to Po. "Here, to tide you over until our meal arrives."

"I'm a lightweight."

She tapped him playfully on the belly. "I doubt that."

"Oh har har," he said.

"Masters, if you please…" Zeng said, bowing and gesturing to the Master's table. Crane, Viper, and Mantis were being seated. At the head of the table sat Shifu and Habika, looking jolly and well warmed by wine. Habika laced her arm through Shifu's, and he leaned over to kiss her cheek.

"D'aw," Po said. He offered Tigress his arm. "M'lady?"

She chuckled and put her arm through his, and they walked to the Master's table.

ooo

The meal began with only the Masters seated at the head table, but after a moment Po went to fetch Mr. Ping as well. The inclusion wasn't traditional but Shifu waved it off. The warmed wine agreed with him; seated between Tigress and Habika he looked absolutely content. Tigress enjoyed seeing him so happy.

Habika barely took her eyes from him. That dewy eyed look of hers used to annoy Tigress, but now she found it just a little sweeter than she did irritating. She couldn't say she liked the Princess any more now than she had before she left, but she did find herself happy for her obvious adoration of Shifu. The Princess's love lit her father up. When Shifu returned the Princess's look he wore a lazy, almost lusty grin, his eyelids gone heavy. He'd say something, softly, that only she could hear. She'd reply, her eyes going soft, and they'd go on this way, edging closer to one another until they would nearly kiss. Tigress found herself imagining what kind of kiss that would be, wet and slow and heavy, the way Abasi used to kiss her when he knew he had her in his clutches for the night.

A thick wave of lust rippled up through her at that memory. She looked away from her father and his lover, then sighed. Stupid spiced wine.

A burst of laughter distracted her.

"I swear, I've never seen Po run so fast," Crane said.

"Like the wind," Monkey replied. "Like the big fat wind."

"What is this about Po running fast?" Shifu asked.

"The porcupine tribe," Po said, chuckling. "Once I realized they can launch those things I hauled ass, believe you me."

"If only Shifu and Viper had run as fast as you!" Crane said, and they all burst into laughter.

"That was an interesting three days," Tigress remarked.

"Oh no," Shifu said, putting his head in his hands.

"No," Viper repeated. "Can we not?"

"What's this about?" Habika asked, bemused.

Tigress glanced at Shifu and Viper as though asking permission to tell the story. He sighed, shook his head, and shrugged.

"Whatever, I guess," Viper muttered, throwing back her cup of wine.

"A couple years ago we broke into an encampment of porcupine warriors who had stolen Grand Master Qin's Lightning Staff while it was in transit here from Gongman City," Tigress began. "It's a very powerful weapon and could do massive damage in the wrong hands. We weren't sure how many there would be or what kind of weapons they might have, so Shifu joined us. We took a river boat to the encampment. When we got there Shifu stayed by the front gate distracting the guards with his 'I'm a lost senile old man' routine while we broke in and retrieved the staff. It was supposed to be a silent, seamless mission but Po screwed something up -"

"Hey!" Po objected.

" -so we had to get out of there as fast as possible. Shifu was last to figure out what was happening. By the time he made his escape the porcupines were on high alert, and he was shot on the way back to our boat."

"Shot?"

Shifu nodded. "Yes, in the thigh with three quills."

"Oh," Habika said. "That doesn't sound too terrible."

"Not on their own, no," Shifu sighed. "But these quills were dipped in a very fast-acting, very powerful hallucinogen. It's meant to disorient the victim so he can be captured and interrogated. Just one of those quills would put, say, Monkey, into quite a state for about ten hours. I was hit with three. Viper, two."

Habika's eyes widened. He continued.

"I thought I could handle it. I wasn't sure if Viper could - apologies, Viper -"

Viper gave a dismissive toss of her head. "You weren't wrong."

He turned to Habika. "I told Viper to join me in quiet meditation in my sleeping compartment. The boat had a small cubby that was usually used for storage, but I'd inhabited it while we were on the boat. I figured if we stayed in a small, dim space with very little stimulation it would be easier for us. So in we went, and shut the door."

"And out you came, what, six minutes later?" Po asked. They burst into laughter.

"If we're going to keep telling this story I'll need more of that," Shifu sighed, gesturing to the bowl of warmed wine. Tigress ladled him another cup.

"So the door opens," Crane said, "and you see Shifu's ears coming out sideways - just the ears for a second - and then you slowly see his big eyes, totally dilated, and he's just. Staring at us. And we're staring back. And he eventually goes, 'Students?' And we say 'Yes?' And he goes 'Can you see me?'"

Another round of laughter.

"And we're all, uh, yes, we can see you Master," Po said. "And then Viper comes out from behind him, like - slams out, I can't even - like someone was squeezing her out of a bottle, it was so weird - and she just flips on her back and starts laughing her ass off at nothing."

"And then Shifu started scolding her! That was the best part!" Crane said. "Gods, he was after her the whole time! 'Viper! Stop shrinking! Stop changing colors this instant!'

"Didn't you say I told him to mind his old fart business after a while?" Viper asked Crane.

"You don't remember?" Habika asked.

"Nope, not a thing," Viper replied.

"The last thing I remember is opening the compartment door, terrified I was invisible. After that, the next three days is…" Shifu made a helpless gesture. "Dust."

"I remember little bits of things. I remember sitting on the roof of the cabin," Viper said.

"More like lying on top of the cabin," Tigress said.

"Drooling," Crane added.

Viper blushed fiercely.

"On the second day it seemed like you two reached a point where you couldn't speak properly," Tigress said. "All you wanted to do was lie on the roof and watch the trees go by. And you'd get really upset if there weren't any trees, so Po would roll the two of you over so you could look down at the fish. And then you'd get upset if there weren't any fish, so he'd roll you back over to look at the trees again."

"What if there were no trees and no fish?" Habika asked.

"Chaos, unless you kept them entertained," Crane said. "They were like a pair of two year olds. Eventually we found some blocks for them to play with, and that kept them happy for a while, until Shifu suddenly regained his speech and kept telling Viper she was building wrong."

"According to legend, that's when I told Shifu to mind his old fart business," Viper said.

"Probably rightly so," Shifu said from behind his hands.

"Probably!?" Viper asked.

"Well I don't know," Shifu said, putting his hands down and taking a sip of wine. "*Were* you building wrong?" He smirked.

"There's no 'wrong' in blocks!" Viper cried.

"There's always a wrong somewhere," Shifu said.

"Thass EXAC'LY what your WHOLE problem is, you know that?" said a serving woman as she plopped a plate of fried rolls in front of Shifu. Everyone was struck silent. They looked up in shock at some short, unimaginably puffy, obviously quite tipsy creature carrying a tray. She glared at Shifu, one tooth edging over her bottom lip.

Shifu blinked. "I don't know who you are, but I think you're too drunk to be waiting right now."

"I KNOW I'm too drunk to be waiting right now," the puffball slurred. She ripped off her apron and threw the tray on the ground. "I'm going home. I'm not gonna be a part of this system."

The watched her go, then glanced at one another in puzzlement, giggling uncomfortably.

"You know what they say," Po said. "It's not a real party until someone … does …that?"

Habika looked puzzled. She put her hand up like a child in a classroom. "I have a question," she said.

"If it's 'who the hell was that?' we don't know," Mantis replied.

"No, it's - no. Didn't you say the hallucinogen was meant for interrogation? How is it of any use if you can't talk? And if you're laughing and acting like toddlers?"

"It was a day before we couldn't talk," Shifu replied. "We were quite able to speak before that."

"And pretty terrified for a lot of it," Crane said.

"Like inconsolably terrified," Mantis said. "Viper curled herself around Shifu in this huge hug because she was scared, and Shifu was petting her head and telling her everything would be all right, until he got the idea in his head that she was actually trying to strangle and eat him. He attacked her, she bit him. We had to separate you two."

Both Viper and Shifu looked horrified.

"They've never told you that before?" Habika inferred.

"Every time they tell this story something new comes out," Shifu said. He turned to Viper. "I'm sorry."

"No, no," Viper said. "It was - we were - "

An uncomfortable silence fell over the table.

Suddenly Monkey and Mantis started to giggle. The giggling turned into laughter. When everyone gave them puzzled looks the laughter turned to helpless howling.

"Guys?" Po asked "What?"

They bit their lips and shook their heads, tears running down their faces. Mantis jumped onto Monkey's shoulder. "Monkey," he choked, "I think we should - "

"Yeah, yeah," Monkey agreed. Thy hopped down from the chair and abruptly charged away, echoing uproarious laughter.

Po, Tigress and Crane glared after them.

"We'll get to the bottom of it someday," Po said.

"The bottom of what?" Habika asked.

Tigress shrugged. "Something happened Monkey and Mantis swore on their ancestors never to reveal," she said. "We were docked for the night and lost track of Shifu and Viper in the woods … Monkey and Mantis found them and brought them back but won't say what happened while they were gone."

Viper looked aghast. "WHY does this story get WORSE every time you tell it?" she cried. She and Shifu glanced at one another in horror.

"I've had too much wine," Shifu stated, staring at the table.

"Oh god, what was it? What could it be!" Viper cried. "Tigress why did you have to open your big mouth? Couldn't you have just said 'wow, Monkey and Mantis sure are weirdos' but noooo, suddenly there's this BIG SECRET and now I'm going to wonder what it is FOREVER and - UGH, give me more wine!"

Tigress began to pour Viper a cup.

"Not you, big mouth!" Viper snapped. "Po, pour me more wine!" she said, glaring at Tigress, who was trying her best not to laugh.

"Yes ma'am," Po said, taking over the pouring.

"I said Monkey and Mantis were weirdos last year," Tigress said to Viper.

"What stopped you now?"

Tigress pointed at her empty wine cup.

After a moment of silence, Habika said, 'If they swore on their ancestors it must have been pretty bad."

Shifu finished the last of his wine and hopped down from his seat. "That's me done. See you at the Palace, little one."

"I was just kidding!" Habika said, following Shifu.

They watched the pair go, then Tigress, Po, and Crane turned to Viper.

"You're sure you don't remember anything?" Crane pushed.

Viper uncoiled unceremoniously from her seat. "I'm going to go dance. None of you may join me." She slithered to the dance floor, chin held high, and began to writhe and twist to the drums.

Po leaned over and swept Viper's uneaten plates of food to join his. "Man, I love the Harvest Festival."

ooo

"You don't understand what it's like not to recall entire days of your life," Shifu said, sitting in the armchair by the bed, almost miserably.

"If I didn't know better I'd think you were sulking," Habika replied. She sat on the bed, arranging her jewelry into various boxes. This was a constant project for her, something she worked on when restless. She had no idea what kind of order she was trying to achieve, but figured she'd recognize it once attained.

"I'm not sulking," he sulked. "I just don't like it."

"You've never been blackout drunk?"

"What? No!" he replied, repelled by the very idea. "I could get quite drunk when I was a young man, but never to the point where I forgot myself."

"Oh," Habika said.

"Why? Have you?"

"They party pretty hard at the Forbidden City." She smiled. "I have some fond … er … un-memories of celebrations with my sister and her ladies early on, before … before Gan called for me."

"Ah," Shifu said. "You didn't start to feel sick at a certain point and stop?"

She shrugged. "Rice wine tastes like water once you've had enough. I was very young, and swept up in the party."

"I've never been able to be … swept up. I'm always too aware of myself."

"Not even while reading a book or watching a play?"

He shook his head and smiled gently. "The most swept up I've ever been is in you."

She grinned clicked the lid of her jewelry box shut. "That just earned you a night in my bed, my warrior."

"I spend every night in your bed. Besides, I'm full of wine. And gas." He pressed his hand to his stomach and grimaced.

She clucked sympathetically. "How about you lie down and I'll sit on your tummy and help you fart?"

He blinked. "What?"

She shrugged. "Just offering."

"I'll lie down but I think my gas will pass just fine by itself, much appreciated."

"You sure?" Habika said, scooting over to make room for him. "You sure I can't just press around on there for you?" She asked teasingly, massaging his belly.

"Why are you such a silly woman?"

"Because I have gas too," she said, flopping on her back.

"Then let's just lie here and fart," Shifu said, folding his hands on his chest and closing his eyes.

They lie silently, listening to the wind rustle the trees. After a moment one of them produced a polite little puff.

"This is the most romantic night of my life," Habika whispered.

"Shh," Shifu whispered back. 'Don't cheapen this."

ooo

Habika woke uncharacteristically early and could't lull herself back to sleep. She made herself a large cup of tea and decided to enjoy the morning on the balcony, reading a scroll. After a while she grew restless, and hungry, with a particular craving for sweets. She wandered out of the sangha and over the hill to the kitchen, stopping for a moment at the training hall to watch her warrior and his students at work.

They were all present save Tigress, she noticed. Now that Shifu had traded mastership for fatherhood Tigress trained or didn't as she pleased. Sometimes Habika spied her in the courtyard doing strange stretches, kicks, and dodges, referring to parchment scrolls written in sanskrit she'd spread out in the sun. Habika was curious but never approached her. She could sense that Shifu's daughter bore her no more love now than she had before her journeys. The only difference seemed to be that now she put her father's happiness before her own jealousy, if she was indeed jealous still. Habika was proud that Shifu had raised such a discerning young woman, though she felt that pride from afar, and from afar it would remain.

She stopped by the kitchens asking after sweets but there were none to be had. One of the geese asked if she would like something from the market, but Habika decided to have a stroll down there herself. Being up this early was rare for her, and the light was all different, buttery and fresh. New.

As she went down the steps she attempted a walking meditation, trying to clear her mind and be in the moment, nothing but a peaceful body moving through space. She was only able to keep her mind cleared for a couple minutes at a time before some compelling thought stole it away. She had not yet mastered reigning it in. She remained amazed that Shifu could meditate so deeply while balancing on something unsure as that staff.

She sighed. He made her feel quite unfledged and untried sometimes. All of them did. She'd had her trials in life, to be sure, but being around such warriors could not help but make her feel green as a child.

In the market the merchants were just setting up. Habika strolled through, buying dates and rice candy and thousand layer cake for Shifu. She wondered, fleetingly what kind of sweet Tigress might enjoy, but shook the notion from her mind.

She stopped by Mister Ping's for a bowl of noodles for breakfast, then puttered around the village, heading back before the sun grew too high. Going up the gauntlet of stairs with the noontime sun pounding down was pure hell. Sometimes she wished she had a magic crystal with which she could make Crane have the sudden urge to fly overhead and pick her up. Jing had offered to fly her to and from the village whenever she wished, and two or three local geese ran something of a taxi service up and down the hill for the old, sick, or very young, but Habika could never bring herself to use it, not when she lived day to day with people who made the trip on a daily basis without breaking a sweat.

Well, except for Po. She smiled. She liked that about him. She had the feeling no amount of kung-fu training would entirely eliminate his pleasure-seeking nature. She'd had to resuscitate it out of Shifu, but Po would never lack an appreciation of life's little gifts.

As she was about to head to the stairs a splash of color hit her eye. Peeking down an alley, she was that a beautiful mural had been painted on a wall there, seemingly overnight. She followed the twirling back of a blue-green and purple dragon down the length of the wall and stopped at his ferocious, toothy, growling face. She stretched her hand out, placing it on the dragon's pink fleshy tongue, admiring the detail.

"Hey," said a voice from a behind her.

She startled, turned. A huge crocodile smirked down at her in a way that made her blood freeze in her veins. She heard a crash and a scream from around the corner.

"What's in the basket, honey?"

"Sweets," she said.

"Hm." He stepped to the side, looking her up and down, blocking her escape route out of the alleyway. More chaos and screams sounded from the marketplace.

"What - what are - what's going on?" Habika stuttered, stepping away from the crocodile. She tried to remember everything Shifu had ever taught her about self defense, about mental control, about keeping calm. It was all a blur. She began to panic.

The crocodile swept the basket out of her hand with a swipe of his tail. Rice candies and dates tumbled out onto the pavement.

"There really were sweets on the basket," the crocodile said. He took a step closer to her, Habika stumbled back against the wall, against the dragon lascivious pink tongue. She gasped as the reptile's cold tail wandered up her leg, lifting the skirt of her hanfu.

"Then maybe I'll take the sweets in this basket," he crocodile purred.

"No - no, please - please – I have money, I'll give you all my money - " she begged, trying to wriggle away. He grabbed her and forced his knee between her legs, lifting her off the ground. When she screamed he pressed his hand to her throat, pinning her to the wall and blocking off her air. She scratched at his hand and wrist but her nails barely nicked his thick scales, and her kicks to his thigh were ineffective as a child's. He pressed harder on her throat as he began to undo his pants.

Not like this, she thought in desperation, clawing at his impenetrably armored hand. Please, not like this.

As her vision began to go gray a rage passed through her unlike any she'd ever known, as though she were made of fire. With the very last of her strength her nails found her way between the scales of his hand and dug in, puncturing the flesh. Cold blood pooled around the tips of her fingers. He yelped, his knee falling out from under her, pinning her even harder to the wall. She choked and sputtered.

"You little BITCH!" the crocodile bellowed, raising his fist to strike her, gray against the gray sky.

I'm sorry, my warrior, Habika thought as it came down.

Mahdi, I -

ooo