I nearly ran away screaming at that moment. Had I just said such a thing? Had I just admitted that I idolised Albus Dumbledore? Had I just realised that I wanted to be just like him? Had I really changed that much? The questions were overwhelming.
"Do you really, Tom?" came Dumbledore's voice, the same voice he'd used when he'd told me that our choices were our own.
I frowned. There was no way out of this one, and I realised with pure shock that I didn't want a way out. Perhaps he could help me. He'd already done so much. "I suppose so," I sighed, not daring to look at himand see his facial expression. He was probably smiling.
"You've transitioned, Tom."
"I just realised that myself. I can't say that it does not frighten me just a little."
I heard Merope's sobs of joy. I nearly laughed at them. Was it really something to cry about? Perhaps it was. "Shall I tell you the most eventless of it, then, now that we've established who I want to be?"
She nodded, wiping the tears from her face and smiling at me in that motherly way of hers. "T-Tom?" she sniffled.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry. For not being there for you, I mean. I really regret it. Can you forgive me?"
I watched the hurt come to her face, the pain, and I couldn't help but feel sympathy and remorse. I'd hurt her with the talk of being without a mother, and she certainly didn't deserve the heartbreak from me. "How could I not?" She beamed at my words, and she seemed to glow despite her human flaws.
"Thank you."
I nodded wordlessly, then turned to the rest of them. "I suppose I should tell you about my next year. I spent it the way I had spent the last decade, sitting in my half-dead state, waiting for someone to rescue me and help me rise again. Where were my school friends when I needed their assistance? They couldn't all be in Azkaban, could they? Were they waiting for me to summon them? Those would be fool's dreams. And so I waited with no way to tell time or to know what was happening in the real world.
"Thoughts of my past were maddening me. I thought about the Potter boy, and how I could bring him down. I would have to allow physical contact as an option if I needed it, and that meant that I would need a part of his blood. Yes, that was the solution! We would have the same protection, so it would be purposeless to him. What a flawless plan. And then there was that prophecy. I needed that, but the Ministry would not exactly let me parade inside its confines. I needed so many things. But most of all, I needed a decent body. That would be at the top of my list. I would have Dumbledore gone as well. There were so many things to do, but I could do nothing.
"I also thought of Dumbledore. How was it that he saw so much? How much did he know, exactly? The idea of his seemingly endless knowledge unnerved me. If I ever escaped that helpless form, I would have to come up with a plan as quickly as I could. But rising seemed unlikely. I'd vowed my revenge. I would have it, perhaps, if I waited. And after a year of my patience, I was found by one of my most incompetant Death Eaters.
"He came stumbling through the forest, a very hilarious sight. He was the opposite of fit, and I couldn't help but sneer. He saw me at last. 'My Lord,' he whispered, bowing a deep bow and nearly tripping over a tree root. I was almost ill by that point. That fool was going to nurse me to health and bring me back? I was certainly never returning.
"'Wormtail, I think I need to be cared for. I know a place to stay, in Little Hangleton. A mansion. Come, Pettigrew, let us go.' He obeyed. We Apparated. He did everything I told him, but he was not excellent at any of it, and he seemed too frightened of me. As amusing as it was, it became rather irksome when it was time for him to feed me or come near me. So we awaited the return of another servant so that I could have the blood of my nemesis. That was another of my mistakes. But that comes later. Let us just relax for the moment, and in time I shall tell you another segment of my life story. Believe me, things get a lot worse from this point. The Dark Lord rose again... more powerful than ever. And this time, things were more severe than they had ever been..."