Hux dreamt again about Starkiller. Again he was standing there, watching the trees bend and break as the deadly red ray erupted from the ground. Suddenly he heard voices behind him, then he blinked the moisture in his eyes away and turned.

Suddenly he was standing in Snoke's throne room. Snoke sat on his throne, Kylo Ren knelt in front of him. Snoke was whispering something in Ren's ear. All of a sudden it wasn't Snoke on the throne but Brendol Hux, resting his large meaty hand on Kylo Ren's shoulder.

With a gasp Hux woke up. He sat up and put a hand on his chest – his heart was racing. He looked at her side of the bed, it was empty, of course. By the stars, how he wished she was there... just to hold him one last time.

He got up and went into the refresher, squinting as the lights went on. He opened the taps and washed his face, his heartbeat slowing down. He returned to bed and lay awake, staring at the ceiling.

Had she already received the notice of termination? Did she think that he had tired of her and simply wanted to get rid of her? Kriff, he should have sent her a personal note... somehow. What was she thinking about him? Perhaps nothing... perhaps she was glad that she didn't have to return to him anymore. But the way she had looked at him, told him that she liked his hair...

He should have at least taken a picture of her, something to remember her by. He closed his eyes, remembering her in the lab, the beautiful gleam in her dark eyes, and the kind smile on her lips. Perhaps Kylo had been right... why by the seven gates of chaos had he sent her away?

A lump formed in his throat. Because it had been necessary, for her safety. But he could have waited a bit longer... so that he could feel and taste her before she left.

Just once, he wished he could just see her once again.

-o-

He buried himself in work the next day, inspecting troops, reading reports, approving plans and designs, checking on the progress of the First Order war campaign. But despite his best efforts he couldn't silence the gnawing doubt that had infected his mind.

He pulled up FN-2187's file and re-read all his progress reports since he joined the Stormtrooper programme. The perfect soldier, intelligent, resourceful and strong... raised to follow orders and he still disobeyed. Because he didn't want to be a 'murderer'.

Hux had to admit that he understood the sentiment. What was the point of killing villagers on some backwater planet? It was bound to destroy any sense of righteousness the soldiers might have – they were fighting to end the chaos in the galaxy.

'It's them or us, boy,' had his father said on countless occasions. 'It's war. People are cattle to be ruled or to be killed.'

Hux had always found the comparison over-simplifying. It was true that they were at war, but the Order was supposed to bring stability. It would be more logical to try to convince people that they would benefit from the new order. He wasn't aware of any outreach beyond the usual propaganda events directed at the Order personnel. Odd.

Come to think of it – what kind of government would Snoke implement once the war was won? The Old Empire had an extensive bureaucratic apparatus that had been built by the Galactic Republic, they had a decentralised system of governors for each sector. Where would this structure come from when they simply blew up one star system after another? What was the endgame?

He could feel a headache coming on. Kriff. He really shouldn't muse about these questions. His thoughts returned – as so often of late – to Rose. He felt that she could provide clarity... she always did. Like back then with the umbrell- with the floating phase-shield. Or when he was fixated on getting tech into the small MSE-6 droid. He was lost in the details, he needed to take a step back, look at the bigger picture.

He got up from his desk and started pacing in his office.

Snoke wanted to rule, his motivation wasn't bringing peace and prosperity to the galaxy. He seemed single-minded obsessed with the Force and Force-users. He had never talked about his post-war plans, never even mentioned the possibility that it could end.

Hux had imagined that Starkiller would be the ultimate deterrent, making all system bow to the First Order thus stopping the war at once. But if Ren spoke the truth, then Snoke intended to wipe out all planets with Jedi history... Ren was many things, but he wasn't a liar. And there is of course the 'let the past die' mantra.

Hux froze in his tracks, he felt ill. Was this the future that awaited? The First Order fleet floating through the galaxy like a dark cloud, killing everything that Snoke thought was a slight or a threat to him. Be it a world with Jedi relics, a band of rebels or planets on a whim – like Naboo?

A shiver ran down his spine. He shouldn't think like that, he should trust Snoke to know what was best.

.

-o-

.

When Rose came down the stairs the next morning, she noticed immediately the tense atmosphere in the small kitchen. Her 'mother' and 'father' were busy fixing breakfast, talking quietly to each other, only stealing glances at Rose.

Poe beamed at her and lifted two cups with caf. She returned the smile and grabbed one of the cups. "I would like to skip the small talk part – care to tell me what's going on?" she asked while adding sweetener to her caf.

"Alright, it's rather straightforward anyway. We intercepted a transmission from the Finalizer – they're terminating your contract."

Rose gaped at him. "What?"

"No further explanation. We assume that Hux is behind it."

She lifted her chin. "I want to see the message."

Poe handed her a pad; she quickly read the message. 'Specialist Phan, your contract has been prematurely terminated as per section 1c in your contract. Signed: FO Work Force Department.'

She lowered the pad. Poe was right, it must have been Hux. If IS had any reason to suspect her they wouldn't just fire her, they would lure her back to interrogate her.

"That's good news – that makes it easier to let Rose Phan disappear," said Poe.

"True, but perhaps I could have found out more," she said in a quiet voice.

Poe narrowed his eyes. "Rose – there was no chance that I would let you go back after your intermezzo with Internal Security. I have little doubt that they would have had their eyes on you."

"Right." Poe was right of course. She had known that there was a high possibility that she would never return to the Finalizer. The memory of her hand running through his ginger hair flashed up, his lips on hers... She should have said good-bye. He must have known too, he probably gave the order the minute her shuttle was out of sight.

She felt a stab in her heart. Of course it was over – but she realised that the finality of it hadn't hit her up until now. She would never see him again. Never work or drink tea with him again, never find out if he would have liked bogweed noodles. Tears stung her eyes.

She blinked and forced herself to smile. "So, what's next?"

Poe scanned her face for a moment, then he returned the smile. "We have to find the base, of course, and send a recon team – whatever they're building there, it can't be good for us."

Rose nodded. "Tell me if I can help in any way."

He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it. "You should get some rest first, we will return to D'qar tonight." He gestured towards the Resistance members posing as her parents. "They will stay for a while to check if someone is coming after you."

Rose only nodded.

-o-

The following days were quite slow; Rose settled back in her old quarters in D'qar. Since her mission had been top secret her colleagues in repairs didn't ask her questions about her absence – and she was glad. She wanted to forget the odd familiarity she had acquired in the last few months. The routine in the morning, the casual chatter with Tarc... and the nights in the lab.

To her dismay, her thoughts continued to return to Hux, despite her best efforts. She could hardly repair a propulsion system without thinking about the night in the hangar, couldn't look at a circuitry without imagining his caustic comment on the sloppy solder job.

Paige seemed to notice, as Rose caught her staring at her with this strange expression on her face. But she didn't dare to ask, and Rose didn't dare to tell her. What was there to say anyhow?

One night she lay awake. This wasn't supposed to last so long, why couldn't she just... move on? Forget about him. Or perhaps she should inoculate herself against her feelings? She knew that the Resistance had recordings of Hux' speeches. What if she were to watch them, remind herself who he really was?

But she already knew who he was. He was a kind, considerate man with the softest hair. She choked up, turning to face the wall; Paige was sleeping across from her in her own bunk – she didn't want Paige to hear her. She sniffled silently as tears rolled down her cheeks. Why did it hurt so much? Why couldn't she just forget about him?

-o-

About a week after she had returned, Poe came to her. She was about to test the propulsion of one of the X-wings, but she immediately stopped with her work once she saw the tense expression on his face.

"Did you find it?" she asked breathlessly.

"Not here," said Poe in a low voice. He strode out of the hangar back into the Command Centre. Rose followed him, wiping her oily hands on her overall.

Once the door had slid shut and the security protocol had been activated, Poe turned to face her. "We found the base – and it's worse than we thought." He activated the projector and displayed a planet. Upon closer inspection Rose realised that there was a gigantic technological belt running across the whole planet.

"Kriff," was all she managed.

"We never thought they would build another Death Star – but they did!" Poe said and crossed his arms. "If the size of the thing is any indication... they could pulverise whole fleets, planets even."

Rose enlarged the holo and squinted at the giant hole in the middle of the tech belt. "They wouldn't built a stationary weapon if it couldn't reach-" she broke off. She had no idea what the range of this thing was nor how it was powered; but knowing Hux, he would have thought of everything. This- this was the project he had been talking about.

"The good news is that it's apparently not yet finished. We have to destroy it before it's ready. Our recon team managed to take a series of pictures." Poe brought up several pictures of snowy landscapes and Stormtroopers unloading parts. The last few showed a circuitry, and Rose's breath stopped. She would recognize the way the shield emitters were aligned anywhere – they were arranged in a roundabout.

"Hux built this," she said in a toneless voice.

Poe rubbed his chin. "You said that he was a brilliant engineer. If it's true that he is the mastermind behind this, then we have seriously underestimated how dangerous he is."

She felt an icy grip around her heart. Yes, he was dangerous – she had forgotten. How could she have forgotten? She set her lips in a thin line. "His weakness is his lack of hands-on experience. In theory his designs are flawless, but he used to forget that systems don't always work at peak efficiency."

"Any ideas on how we could sabotage a base of this size? There have to be back-up systems."

She scrolled through the pictures from the recon team. "It's impossible to tell without the blueprints or a closer inspection."

"Well, that's what our other experts told us as well," admitted Poe. "I just kind of hoped-"

"Bring me there and I can come up with a workable plan," interjected Rose.

She had failed. She had to stop this horrible weapon now. It was her responsibility. She was the only one who could do it – she would find the weakness in Hux's design.

"To be honest, I kind of hoped you said that. Paige will of course strangle me once she hears about this, but we need you."

She turned to face Poe. "I won't let you down."

He scanned her face with his eyes, there was something pensive in them. "You don't have to do this, you know. It's not your fault."

She felt heat crawl up her cheeks, then averted her gaze. "Yes, I have to."

"I will gather a team – we will leave first thing in the morning. Prepare yourself however you see fit."