Hey everyone!
Finally I'm back, I've been so busy with work I don't find the time to write anymore... And that really sucks!
Hope you enjoy this chapter, next chapter is almost completely written so it won't take that long to update this time. Thank you all for reading! Sorry for any spelling/gram. mistakes (English is not my first language).
I've changed the rating of the story (rated T) because it will get a bit more explicit further into the story, just so you know.
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or the characters!
Chapter 26:
On their first week back at work Tony's, Ziva's and McGee's days were mostly filled with catching up on cold cases and taking all of their tests, which the three of them passed with flying colours. On Friday night, right after work, Abby planed a welcome back dinner at Gibbs' house, saying they needed to celebrate Gibbs' being back home and all of them back as a team properly. Abby was thrilled to have things back to normal and have the people she loves around her again even day.
During the week Tony and Ziva had managed to keep their relationship out of the office very well, from time to time it was hard not to be able to touch or kiss each other when they pleased but so far so good. Just like the last couple of weeks Tony stayed over at Ziva's place but not everything had planned out how Tony had hoped it would be after getting back to work. Either Ziva spend her evening at the gym or over at Gibbs' place, stating that she needed some time alone with Gibbs which Tony really could understand that but it was far from pleasant. Also most mornings Ziva went for a morning run, saying that with being back at work she had to keep in shape. So basically Tony woke up in an empty bed and went to sleep the same matter, he really hoped that this was not how their future would look like. Because only after five days Tony was missing Ziva's love and presence immensely. He was planing to talk about this situation with her after they got back from Gibbs' house, but for now he was planning to enjoy every moment with his family as much as he could.
A little after 11pm Tony and Ziva arrived back at her place, both feeling quite tired. It was super to catch up with everybody's live but it was even better to be at home. At the moment Tony was too sleepy to discuss his issues with Ziva, it would have to wait until tomorrow morning. After brushing their teeth, refreshing themselves and changing into pyjama's the couple crawled under the covers, Tony immediately seeking Ziva's warmth by spooning her body.
"I am happy that things are back to normal." Ziva murmured, sleep quickly catching up on her.
"Hmmm yea."
"Goodnight."
"Night Zi." Tony responded, both falling asleep immediately.
The next morning, at 6am, Ziva planned to get out of bed and go for a run just like the last couple of days but Tony quickly grasped her around the waist before she was even able to move.
"Stay Ziva, it's weekend." Tony whispered against the side of her neck, still half asleep.
"Sleep Tony I will be back before you know it." Ziva quietly answered, moving away from him.
"Seriously Ziva?" Tony questioned, looking directly into Ziva's eyes. "I can understand that you want to be in shape for work but what about us? I've hardly seen you this week apart from work." Tony added, clearly annoyed about this situation.
"Do not overreact Tony, we can spend the whole weekend together but right now I am going for a run." Ziva answered, effectively closing the conversation by making her way toward the bathroom to get ready.
Tony on the other hand was everything but happy with Ziva's answer, didn't she see that even after being back at work for only one week they were already creating a lot of space between them. They hadn't talked about anything serious these past days, yesterday Ziva had her second appointment with doctor Lewis but Tony didn't even knew how things had gone. What about their promises to make time for each other? Tony burrowed his face deep in his pillow, a deep sign escaping his throat.
During her run Ziva started to understand Tony's words and realised that he was right, they hadn't done anything together after work. She merely went to the gym or spend the evening at Gibbs' place after work without realising which effect it had on her relationship with Tony. It was clear to Ziva that Tony hadn't liked her answer this morning either but Ziva had the weekend to make things right and do better in the future.
Forty minutes later Ziva was back home, eager to take a shower before starting breakfast. After taking a quick peak into the bedroom Ziva noticed that the bed was empty, a little note was placed on her nightstand. The following text written on it:
"I'm out with a couple of friends to play some ball, be back around 4pm. Love you, Tony."
Ziva knew his note was only an excuse to be away for her, his buddies would never come before lunch. But she could understand Tony's reaction, he was just acting the same way she had done this week and really it sucks… Even when she was unhappy with their current unsolved situation Ziva decided to make the best of her time alone. There was enough to be done anyway, the apartment could use a thorough overhaul and there was a huge pile of laundry to be taken care of. After a couple of hours the place was starting to look clean again and slowly Ziva started to prepare dinner.
Meanwhile Tony made his first stop at Gibbs' house, it was only a little after 7pm but he knew Gibbs would be up anyway.
"Gonna stand their all day DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, knowing it was Tony who was standing on top of his stairs by the sound of his footsteps.
"No boss." Tony answered, making his way down to the basement.
"What's the problem, Ziva already kicked you out?" Gibbs smirked.
"No, yes… sort of. She went for a run and I left." Tony voiced, knowing it was futile to lie.
"Want to talk about it?" Gibbs asked, having a slight idea about why Tony was here.
"No it's gonna be fine, just needed some time to think things through." Tony responded, not really in the mood to discuss his relationship with his boss. Even when Tony knew that he could trust Gibbs no matter what.
"Good. Here work while you're here." Gibbs stated, handing Tony a pace of sandpaper to work on his boat.
A little after 11am Tony left Gibbs' place, feeling a lot better even when no words were exchanged during their work. Next Tony grabbed a quick lunch on his way and got together with his friend to play some basketball. Eventually, around 4pm, Tony entered the apartment, having enjoyed the free time with his mates.
"Tony?" Ziva voiced, making her way toward the front door.
"Yea… Hey I'm gonna take a quick shower." Tony answered matter-of-factly, still a little bothered with her.
"Are you angry about this morning?" Ziva asked, picking up on Tony's gloomy mood immediately.
"Not angry Ziva just annoyed."
"Can we talk about it?"
"We can but I need a shower first." Tony responded, making his way to the bathroom.
Tony took his time showering and redressing but eventually there was nothing else he could do so it was time to face Ziva. He slowly made his way toward the kitchen, knowing she was there.
"Can I help you with anything?" Tony asked with some hesitation, not really knowing how to start this conversation.
"No thank you it is almost ready. About this morning Tony, I am sorry…" Ziva started, making her way toward Tony and grabbing his hands in hers.
"I hope you realize it's not just about this morning Ziva?" Tony answered, still keeping his distance.
"I know Tony, I was only thinking about myself and I did not realize the effect my actions had on you until your reaction this morning. I am sorry Tony… I was selfish."
"I'm not saying you can't go to the gym or visit Gibbs Zi but I guess that we have to figure out a plan that works for the both of us."
"I understand, what if I go running in the morning every two days but not during the weekend and that I only go to the gym on Tuesday and Thursday."
"I can live with that." Tony responded, closing the space between them and draping his arm around Ziva's waist.
"And about Gibbs… He is only been home for a week, I will not spend every evening there but…"
"You want to be around him a lot for a while?" Tony interrupted, already knowing what she was probably thinking.
"I do, is that a problem?" Ziva whispered, looking down.
"No Ziva I understand the feeling but I just want you all to myself some evenings." Tony grinned, placing a feather-light kiss on Ziva's forehead.
"I love you Tony, I am sorry about my behaviour this week." Ziva quietly spoke, resting her head on Tony's chest.
"That's all forgiven and forgotten, we have the rest of our lives to figure everything out sweetie. I am sure it's not going to be our only misunderstanding but that's okay as long as we talk about it." Tony put into words, embracing Ziva in a big hug.
"And I love you too Ziva." Tony whispered against her ear.
Ziva and Tony hugged each other for a very long time, savouring each other proximity. Eventually it was Tony who spoke:
"How did therapy go Zi?"
"Fine I guess." Ziva breathed out, holding Tony even closer.
"That's all?" Tony tentatively asked.
"For now, I do not really want to talk about it…" Ziva quietly answered.
"Hmmm okay but know that you can tell me."
"I know Tony, thank you." Ziva replied, nuzzling Tony's neck lovingly.
"Do you want to watch a movie before dinner?" Tony asked, realising it was still too early to eat dinner.
"Okay but only if I can pick out the movie?" Ziva answered, kissing Tony's cheek playfully.
"Yea sure sweet cheeks."
A couple of minutes later Ziva and Tony were cuddling on the couch, watching "The Time Traveler's Wife". Not really Tony's first choice but he didn't mind watching it with her, what more could he wish for than some alone -and cuddling time with Ziva? After losing his interest in the movie rather quickly Tony began peppering Ziva's neck with little kisses.
"Tony…" Ziva breathed out. "Watch the movie."
"But I like doing this." Tony pouted, making Ziva laugh out loud.
"I think you will live." Ziva smirked but captured Tony's lips in a deep kiss anyway, having missed this kind of intimate contact as well over the last couple of days. Soon their tongues were fighting for dominance, sometime later Ziva lay herself on top of Tony.
"Zi…" Tony whispered against her lips, having a hard time controlling his emotions when Ziva was kissing him like that and being on top of him as well.
Ziva felt very relaxed at the moment, she loved being cozy with Tony and to be honest kissing him like this was making her feel quite wind up. Three months ago Ziva never thought she would ever welcome back these feelings of lust after what happened in Somalia but it felt amazing to experience them again with Tony.
"Tony?" Ziva voiced after a moment filled with passionate kisses.
"Hmmm too much?"
"No it is nothing like that." Ziva spoke in a soft voice, unsure how to spell out her feelings.
Tony loosened his grip around Ziva's waist and looked her in the eyes, what he saw in them made Tony's stomach clinch. Ziva's eyes were full of passion, something he had never seen this openly before.
"When we kiss like this it makes me feel really good and I…" Ziva hoped Tony was able to read between the lines because she was not yet capable of expressing these deep feelings toward him.
"What honey?" Tony asked, unsure of what Ziva was suggesting. He gently cupped her face between his hands, giving her all the time she needed.
"I do not know Tony…" Ziva answered, her voice not louder than a whisper. "Can we talk about it later?" Ziva almost pleaded, she needed some time to work through her emotions before she could talk about it.
"Yea of course, you're okay honey?" Tony questioned, seeing the uncertainly reflecting in her eyes.
"I am fine Tony do not worry, let us watch the rest of the movie yes?" Ziva responded, making herself comfortable into his side again.
After dinner and a long walk around the neighbourhood Ziva and Tony made their way toward the bedroom. During their walk Ziva had told Tony that she was ready to talk about what transpired between them during the movie. Both knew that is was important to talk about that part of their relationship, intimacy, openly even when they didn't like it.
Having been in a relationship with Ziva for almost three months Tony had quickly learned that Ziva felt more comfortable/ secure under the protection of the covers. So slowly they crowed under the blankets, Ziva immediately burying her face in the crook of Tony's neck, having the urgent need to be as close to him as possible.
Ziva had no idea how to voice out her thoughts and feelings, never before had she talked so much about intimacy and how she felt. Over the course of their relationship Tony had always respected the boundaries and Ziva couldn't be more grateful for that. But the more Ziva got comfortable being close to Tony, the more these boundaries started to get cloudy. Ziva longed to take things a little further between them but she needed to find the courage to tell Tony because she knew he would never take the first step. But it was far from easy to start such a conversation…
For a long time both simply bathed in the comfortable and pleasant company of the other, words were not needed to express how much they appreciated moments like these but eventually Ziva started speaking.
"Can you take off your shirt Tony?" Ziva asked him slowly, her voice already wavering with many emotions. Due to the changing weather it became too cold to only sleep in his boxers so a T-shirt became part of his nightwear a couple of days ago.
"Hmmm sure." Tony responded, lifting his T-shirt above his head. "Better?"
"Much." Ziva said, immediately weaving her fingers through his chest hair.
"Care to share your thoughts with me Ziva?" Tony asked, kissing the side of her head tenderly.
"I am a little uncomfortable talking about it but I know we have to…"
"There's no rush Zi you know that." Tony answered instantly.
"I know." Ziva began. "I have already told you that I am getting more and more comfortable being close to you every day Tony and when we kiss like we did on the couch during the movie I am starting to feel…" Ziva added, her voice dropping near the end.
"Aroused? Tony whispered, having witnessed to look on Ziva's face after they parted.
"Hmmm…" Ziva hummed, a little ashamed to talk about her sexual feelings with Tony.
"It is been a very long time since I experienced these feelings and I want us to try more but I am afraid of how I am going to react and I do not want you getting hurt…" Ziva chatted rapidly.
"I am so happy that you're starting to experience these emotions again, I saw the look in your eyes when we were kissing Zi but you need to be more specific about what you want or mean honey. I don't want to hurt you but I don't know what the boundaries are anymore or what you expect from me." Tony put into words carefully, hoping that Ziva understood his thoughts.
"I am still not ready for sex Tony… Sorry." Ziva murmured against Tony's chest.
"No need to apologize Ziva you know that, we have all the time you need." Tony responded quickly, placing both arms protectively around her body.
"Hmmm but there are still a lot of things we can do no?" Ziva voiced, the uncertainly clearly audible in her voice.
"Yes there are… You want to try new things, take things a little further?" Tony asked, looking directly into her eyes. He wanted to make sure that Ziva was being honest about what she really wanted.
"Yes, maybe… I want to try." Ziva whispered, having a hard time keeping eye-contact. She felt very vulnerable and exposed at the moment.
Tony was taken aback by Ziva's words, he knew how difficult being intimate was for her and that she was still not ready for sex but he was truly okay with that. Tony just hoped that Ziva was doing this for the right reasons and not because she wanted to give him the freedom to touch her intimately.
"You're sure Zi, I mean…" Tony began.
"I am Tony." Ziva interrupted him.
"Okay." Tony replied. Afterward he lovingly kissed Ziva's neck, encircling her in a strong hug for a long time.
"Do you know how proud I am and how much I love you Ziva because you trusted me with your feelings and your thoughts." Tony breathed against Ziva's ear.
Ziva was extremely affected by Tony's words, they only made her long for his touch/ to touch him even more. She quickly laid herself on top of him and caught his lips in a passionate kiss, exploring his mouth with her tongue almost immediately.
After sharing some more heated kisses, leaving them both without oxygen, Tony gently implored Ziva to lay down on her back so he could do the same. They both needed a moment to process what just transpired between them and what was about to happen most likely.
"I am not good at this." Ziva quietly spoke after a minute, looking into Tony's eyes. "How do we do this? I am ready Tony, I am just not completely sure how all of this works."
"Can you be more specific Zi?" Tony asked her sweetly, propping himself up on his side so he could see her better.
"I have not a lot of experience when it comes down to foreplay." Ziva whispered, feeling the colour rise on her cheeks. Expressing her feelings and thoughts, especially about her preferences or familiarity about sex, was not easy. "I have had sex Tony but between kissing and the actual act… It is never been necessary." Ziva added, the lack of confidence plainly audible in her voice.
Back during her time in Mossad gaining information from men by using her body did not involve foreplay. Even during her relationship with Rivkin and a few other boys when she was younger Ziva never felt strong enough to be this open/intimate with them. But Tony was different from all these guys, sex was not the reason he liked her. Their connection and love was so much more profound and the idea of sharing these intimate actions was something Ziva wanted to try out with him.
"Just so we're clear Zi, we're talking about the same things here… You know making out, touching each other intimately, more of what we've already done in the shower?" Tony questioned slowly.
"Yes we are. You know Tony for someone who talked constantly about his past conquests with woman you are quite uneasy talking about sex with me." Ziva told him playfully, loving the reactions his words got out of him.
"You know that's not the same Ziva." Tony answered, kissing her cheek lovingly.
"I know and I am very thankful for your thoughtfulness." Ziva voiced, earning a big smile from Tony.
"Always. Okay now that we are on a roll can I ask you something else?" Tony asked her tenderly.
"Sure."
"You've never done this before? I mean nobody even touched you intimately in the past? Tony implored, leaning over Ziva's body and kissing her nose affectionately trying to make her more comfortable with this whole serious situation. Tony knew all of this was not easy for her nor for him, he was kind of uncomfortable talking about these things.
"No one else has ever done it, not as part of foreplay anyway, but I do know how it works." Ziva smirked, waving with her right hand seductively at Tony.
At that Tony had to laugh at loud, kissing her cheek.
"Yea thanks Zi now I will never get that picture out of my head." Tony responded.
A real smile appeared on Ziva's face. "You asked." Ziva answered placing a soft kiss on Tony's lips.
After that a low groan escaped Tony's lips before he turned Ziva on her back and captured her lips in a deep kiss, gently stocking her sides.
"We're going to take this very slowly Ziva and when you want to stop just tell me. We don't have to do this." Tony told her seriously after kissing her for a while longer.
"I know but I want you to show me how good being intimate can be Tony, I trust you but I cannot promise you how I will react." Ziva answered, stroking Tony's face while talking.
"That's okay honey just talk to me okay, tell me when you like it or not. Can you do that?"
"I can try." Ziva whispered, feeling very self-consciously.
"Okay." Tony replied, placing his hand on her stomach silently asking her to stay on her back. Tony lay himself on his side, hovering a little above Ziva's body so he could touch her. Tony lovingly began to trace to outlines of Ziva's face, asking her to focus on his touch. He slowly went lower to her neck and collarbone, already having learned that the right side of her neck was a very sensitive area. Tony repeated this pattern until he knew that Ziva was completely relaxed. Afterward he began to place open mouth kisses on both sides of her neck, gently sucking at her pulsing point. A low moan escaped Ziva's throat Tony was really good at this, he was making sure that she was completely relaxed. Ziva locked eyes with Tony for a moment and pulled him close so she could kiss his lips.
"Thank you." Ziva put into words quietly, so glad to be with this amazing man.
"Hmmm, I love you." Tony hummed against her collarbone, continuing with his actions. After a while Tony smoothly began to trail his fingers under her shirt and over her stomach, skipping the area of her breasts for now.
"Can I remove your shirt honey?"
"Yes." Ziva whispered, already craving for Tony's next touch.
Tony calmly lifted Ziva's T-shirt over head, tossing it on the ground without looking.
"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are Ziva?" Tony spoke against her lips before placing an open mouth kiss on her neck. Afterward he continued his ministrations and slowly went lower and lower, shimmering the skin of her chest with his fingers and lips. Next Tony peppered Ziva's belly with soft kisses, suddenly sweeping his tongue over her belly button, which caused Ziva to jump up.
"Someone is a little sensitive here." Tony spoke in a low voice. He repeated his action a few times, loving the response he was getting from her.
"Shut up Tony." Ziva responded, seeing the smirk on Tony's face.
Tony came up to kiss Ziva lips, placing his forehead against her while placing both arms on either side of her head trying not to crush her under his weight.
"You're amazing Ziva." Tony whispered, feeling very lucky to be with the woman he loves so deeply.
Ziva lifted her head and placed a kiss on Tony's forehead, feeling very loved and cherished whenever she was in Tony's company.
"You're okay sweetie?" Tony asked Ziva, knowing that his manhood was slowly coming to life and that she could definitely feel it.
"Hmmm I am, do not worry so much Tony."
"Always do when it comes to you." Tony quickly responded, playing with the straps of her bra.
"I love you Tony."
"I love you too honey." Tony reciprocated, looking deeply into her eyes and getting lost in them. It felt so amazing when Ziva was opening up toward him like this, it felt like he was able to look right into her soul with one look.
Unhurriedly Tony began to kiss her lips, cheeks, jaw, neck, shoulders and slowly lower until he reached the top of her breast this time.
"Can you take it of?" Tony asked, holding the straps of her bra between his fingers.
Ziva only hummed in agreement and quickly took of her bra, dropping it on the ground next to her shirt. Tony could see that Ziva was in the mood as well, her nipples were nice and hard. She really has a stunning body Tony thought. With one smooth move Tony traced her right nipple with his thumb, feeling Ziva body react due to this action.
"I think I'm starting to fall even more in love with you Zi, you've an amazing body." Tony quietly spook against Ziva's ear, his voice low and seductive. He did the same with her left breast, capturing her lips in a mind-blowing kiss afterward.
"Do you have to be such a man Tony?" Ziva responded, seeing that his focus was completely on her breasts.
"Sometimes… I can't help it." Tony beamed. "I'm already completely and utterly in love with you Zi, seeing you like this makes it even better, if that is even possible." Tony added earnestly.
"You are not bad yourself." Ziva uttered, tracing Tony's spine up and down with her fingers making him shiver.
"Thanks David." Tony smiled, liking her ear playfully. "I think we did enough for tonight, we're gonna take this real slow honey so you, so we both, can get used to this okay?"
"But I am fine Tony." Ziva almost pouted. She just wanted Tony to continue his ministrations.
"I know Ziva but I want to do the right thing and that means taking it slow." Tony answered honestly, rolling over on his back and tugging Ziva along with him so she could cuddle close to him.
Ziva lifted herself up by resting her arms over Tony's chest, aware of how exposed her front was at the moment but she couldn't care less. She felt very restful right now.
"You do realise that you are doing everything right Tony, more than just right? We do not have to stop, I am not uncomfortable."
"Hmmm I can see that sweetie." Tony answered, lifting his eyebrows suggestively and stroking her back up and down tenderly. "But one day at the time remember and now I think we did enough." Tony continued.
"Okay." Ziva reluctantly said, pecking Tony's lips swiftly.
"Are you okay?" Ziva asked after some comfortable silence, placing her hand on Tony's lower abdomen, while snuggling into his side even further, knowing that he was still very aroused.
"Yea yea no problem." Tony spoke.
"It is okay if you need some alone-time." Ziva said in a low voice, not afraid to tease him a little.
"Miss David stop teasing me but seriously I'm fine." Tony answered, removing her hand from his abdomen and kissing her palm lovingly.
"Thank you Tony." Ziva voiced, placing a hand over his heart.
"What for Zi?" Tony asked, having no idea why Ziva was thanking him.
"Everything… The way you make me feel, loved, cherished, safe, …" Ziva whispered, caressing Tony's chest with her fingers.
"That goes both ways Zi, trust me." Tony answered, kissing Ziva's temple lovingly. "You're warm enough like this?" Tony asked, aware that they were only wearing their underwear at the moment.
"I am, I like the feeling of your skin on mine." Ziva spoke quietly, suddenly very aware of their position.
"Very soft." Tony hummed against the skin of her neck, tracing his fingers lightly up and down her sides. "Flawless."
"I hate the scars." Ziva blurted out after a short silence, contemplating Tony's words over and over in her head.
"Can I ask you why honey?" Tony asked her tentatively, aware that you could still feel her scars.
"It is not the scars that I hate but the memories of how they were made… I do not really want to talk about it right now Tony, please." Ziva articulated with a small voice.
"That's okay no pressure honey." Tony told her, hugging her close to his body. "Know that I love your body, I don't mind the scars you're beautiful just the way you are."
"Thank you."
"Tony?" Ziva whispered after a while.
"Yes?"
"Why are you so demanded to always do the right thing, I mean I love it. I love you but sometimes I get this feeling that you are… I do not know trying too hard." Ziva put into words carefully, not completely sure how to put her thoughts into the right words. "I know that we both have are own issues but I am happy Tony, you make me feel so happy and loved. Please stop doubting yourself so much." Ziva continued, looking into Tony's eyes to make sure he understood every word she was telling him.
"Does it annoy you?" Tony asked her, the uncertainty clearly audible in his voice.
"No it does not Tony." Ziva voiced, placing one hand on Tony's cheek to make him look at her fully.
"I love you Ziva and I don't want to lose you. Can we leave it with that for now?" Tony pleaded, still not ready to share his deep fears about loosing her. Maybe one day…
"You will not honey." Ziva answered lovingly, hovering over Tony's body anew and kissing him slowly until oxygen became necessary. "I love you too, we have time Tony." Ziva continued, placing her forehead against his, just breathing in the same air until she felt his body relax against hers.
Ziva hated to see Tony so vulnerable, the look she saw in his eyes made her want to hug and kiss him so much until she was able to make his pain go away. He always tried to be the strong one and protect her against everything but Ziva just hoped that she could do the same for him. He didn't need to be strong all the time, they could take turn and be each others strength.
After a long time Ziva rolled unto her side and made herself comfortable into Tony's side, sleep slowly catching up on them.
"Thank you Zi." Tony whispered, already falling asleep. "Love you."
"Hmmm, love you too. Good night."
To be continued…
Thank you all for sticking to the story, like always reviews are more than welcome! I like to hear your opinions about the story! Thanks. Enjoy your weekend!
Greetz I.