Chapter 26

*X-Pac/J.J.*

Getting up, she began backing away deeper into the room.

Shit she's taking off. X-Pac thought determined to speak with her.

I have to tell her what has been going on since she left. She needs to know about Kane. X-Pac thought.

He picked up his pace, making sure not to frighten her.

Shit! I should have called out to Roger or gone out through the kitchen. She thought, realizing she'd been moving to the smaller private dining area.

Where is she going? I hope there's no door back there. He thought, unconsciously moving just a little faster.

Suddenly, J.J. found herself in the darkened room. She moved quickly to the other side and huddled against the far wall. It was as if she expected the furniture itself would somehow jump to her defense and stop him.

Is that a way out? X-Pac wondered, when he saw her disappear through a door.

Turning the knob, X-Pac slowly swung it open.

Please don't let her have anything to throw or swing. He thought, remembering what she'd done to the Ministry.

"J.J.?" He said, stepping into the dimly lit room.

If I'm really quite maybe he won't see me. J.J. thought hopefully, but knowing that was futile.

"If you're worried about the others, don't be. I'm alone and they have no idea where I am." He said softly.

Sure. J.J. thought.

"You really can't hide in here J.J., I can see you." He said, hoping to get her to say something.

Of course I can't hide in here. But I was hoping you'd take the hint. J.J. thought.

"You're right. I can't hide. But if you come any closer, I'll scream and they'll come in here." J.J. said, ashamed of herself for her fear but still hoping the threat sounded convincing.

"Yes you can. But please don't. I only want to talk to you. I promise I won't even touch you." He said earnestly, stopping about ten feet from her.

Why am I still here? I should just push right by him and leave. J.J. thought, but made no move to do it.

"Where are they really? Waiting outside? You guys are never apart." J.J. said scowling.

"They're in the last town or on the way to the next. I really don't know. I needed some space, so I took off a couple days ago." He said with a shrug.

"Sure you did." She said sarcastically.

"I've been staying at a boarding house not far from here. Darrel signed me in. I think I saw him here." X-Pac said, hoping she'd relax if he could gain even a sliver of trust.

"So what's so important that you had to track me down?" J.J. asked warily.

"I know you won't believe me, but I was completely shocked when I saw you." He said, turning a chair around and sitting down.

No way! J.J. thought, trying to read his body language in the dim light.

*Sandy/Roger*

This is so great. Sandy thought, mingling with her guests.

I already have several reservations for the next couple of weeks. I was almost expecting that from my friends to show their support. But people I hardly know or complete strangers have made most of these. She thought, thrilled beyond words.

A sudden crash drew her attention to the buffet table.

Oh my… She thought, rushing over to clean up the mess.

He looks like he's in shock. Maybe I should call Roger. She thought, when she saw the young man standing among the debris.

He's just staring across the room. What could have happened? She wondered, as he stepped over the mess and walked away without a word.

Once she'd picked up a majority of the remnants, she stood up and looked toward the bar.

Where is J.J. going and why is he following her? Sandy wondered.

She quickly finished cleaning up and walked to the bar.

"Roger, did J.J. tell you where she was going?" Sandy asked, when she got his attention.

"No." He replied, looking at J.J.'s now empty seat.

"Well, she just backed down the hall and someone followed her." She said, turning to go after her.

"Sandy? We have customers and she's old enough to take care of herself. She was a COP remember?" He said stopping her.

"If she needs us all she has to do is yell. Maybe she was leading him back there for some reason." Roger continued, before she could say anything.

"I still think I should at least check." She said, looking in that direction.

"NO!" He said firmly. "Give her some peace, it's her last day here."

"Oh, all right. But if something happens…" Sandy said not finishing the sentence.

"I know, I'm concerned too, but she's an adult." He said, leaning forward to steal a kiss.

With another glance at the hallway, Sandy went back to mixing with her customers.

*Kane*

Kane drove toward the next town. As he did the quickly passing white lines began to hypnotize him.

Shaking his head, he opened the window and turned on the radio.

That should keep me alert. He thought.

Much better. He thought, as the music did its job of keeping him from getting lost in the passing lines again.

"Coming up next we have 'A lot of things different' by Kenny Chesney" He heard after a set of commercials.

I'd have spent a lot more time in the pouring rain without an umbrella

Covering my head

And I would have stood up to that bully when he pushed and called me names

But I was too afraid

And I would have gone and saw Elvis that night that he came to town but

Moma said I couldn't

And I would have went skinny dipping with Jenny Carson that time she dared me too

But I didn't

Oh I, I'd done a lot of things different

I wish I had spent more time with my Dad when he was alive

Now I don't have the chance

I wish I had told my brother how much I loved him before he went off to war

But I just shook his hand

I wish I'd gone to church on Sunday morning when my Grandma begged me too

But I was afraid of God

I wish I would have listened when they said boy you're gonna wish you hadn't

But I wouldn't

Oh I, I'd done a lot of things different

People say they wouldn't change a thing

Even if they could

Oh but I would

There was this red dress she wanted one time so bad she could taste it

I should have bought it

But I didn't

She wanted to paint our bedroom yellow and trim it in blues and greens

But I wouldn't let her

Wouldn't have hurt nothing

She loved to be held and kissed and touched

But I didn't do it

Not nearly enough

And if I would have known that dance was going to be our last dance

I would have asked that band to play it on and on on, on and on

Oh I, I'd done a lot of things different

People say they wouldn't change a thing

Even if they could

Oh but I would, oh oh oh

Oh I I'd done a lot of things different

Oh I I'd done a lot of things

I think we'd all do a lot of things different

Regrets don't get you nothing but pain. Kane thought, even as his began to circle in his mind.

If I'd gone to Bobby's that day I like I was supposed to, I wouldn't have been home when the fire started. He thought, probably for the millionth time since he'd been burned.

If I'd found a way to get the attention of the firemen while they were still there, Paul never would have found me. Then I'd have had a different life. He thought, wondering how different.

If I hadn't listened to him all those years, maybe I could have had something beyond what he showed me.

If I'd realized what X-Pac and Tori were up to sooner, it wouldn't have hurt so much.

If I'd given J.J. a chance… He thought, tears suddenly blinding him and making him pull over.

Pounding on the steering wheel, Kane tried to use the pain to push away the thoughts he seemingly couldn't control.

I have to get this to stop. I can't keep living with the ghost of what could have been. I blew it and I can't fix it. I have to, HAVE TO stop this. He thought to himself.

Now is not the time or the place for this. He thought, making himself pull out and concentrate on driving.

The last thing I need is to get into an accident. Vince would go ballistic if I messed up his PPV. Kane thought, trying to force his mind to the present.

Throughout the drive, he often had to consciously push away the unwanted memories.

I almost didn't think I'd make it. Kane thought, when he pulled up into the hotel lot.

He stepped out of the SUV and stretched with a silent groan of relief.

I hate long drives. He thought, feeling his joints and back creak with tension.

Then he rolled his head on his neck a couple of times.

I need some food. He thought, grabbing up his bags from the back of the SUV.

Going inside, he saw the usual group of fans in the lobby.

It's after midnight. I didn't think they'd still be here. He thought, while he was checking in.

When he turned to go upstairs, Kane was surprised to hear them call for him.

He turned to look at them, unconsciously cocking his head.

I can't believe they still want my autograph after seeing what has been happening. Kane thought, hesitating then walking over.

"You're awesome Kane." One young woman said, as he was signing for her.

She's actually got one of my shirts on. He thought, almost in shock to see it.

Looking at the crowd, he was distracted for a moment.

"Watch your back tomorrow freak! DX is gonna kill you!" Someone in the back yelled.

"Shut up ASSHOLE…" a couple of other fans, yelled back.

Suddenly there was chaos, as people argued loudly and began pushing.

"X-Pac is a dead man. Then Kane will take care of the rest of those asses in DX." He heard, as security began to intercede.

"You should go." Once of the officers told Kane.

He's probably right. I somehow started this. He thought. I should go before it gets worse.

Kane turned heading to the elevator. Before getting in, he looked back at the still rowdy crowd.

I hope none of them get into trouble. He thought, as the elevator doors closed behind him.

*Edge/Christian*

Edge pulled to a stop in front of the hotel and waited. After a moment he heard movement, as the luggage was unloaded.

After a few moments more, he saw Undertaker open the door and step out. Without having said a word, Edge pulled away.

He found a space easily enough and parked. Then he stood beside the van until Christian joined him. Together they walked back toward the hotel.

"Christian, what he said earlier about me getting something already. I think he was just pushing everyone's buttons. Don't let him freak you out. I was really lucky that's all." Edge said looking at Christian.

Seriously? Christian wondered, stopping to look into Edge's eyes.

"I hadn't really expected to find anything out, but I did. I was sure they'd done their planning Friday night. But they ended up doing it Saturday morning and I just got lucky enough to be there for it." Edge said reassuringly.

Christian nodded and they picked up the pace a bit.

Can't keep him waiting too long. Edge thought.

*Ministry*

Pulling up to the hotel everyone exited and pulled out the luggage.

"Be careful with that!" Paul shouted, as Bradshaw put one of his cases down.

That must be the one he packs his gallon jug of Cologne in. Undertaker thought.

Undertaker waited until he'd seen Christian jump back in, before stepping out onto the curb.

Air! He thought, taking a deep breath.

One of these days I'm going to die from the fumes when I travel with him. He thought, looking at Paul.

If you're so concerned with your stuff why don't you unload it yourself. Bradshaw thought, narrowing his eyes in the Paul's direction.

Without even looking toward the bags on the curb, Paul turned and walked into the hotel.

I'll just check us in. They can carry the gear. He thought, with a distinct feeling of superiority.

Where the hell is he going? Faarooq wondered, as he watched Paul leaving.

Mideon and Viscera began getting their gear and part of Undertaker's.

Bradshaw looked at the Undertaker with a questioning expression.

Just bring them in like you always do. Undertaker thought, looking at the Acolyte and then the bags.

Bending over, Bradshaw grabbed a few bags.

Serving the Undertaker is one thing. But I'll never accept being forced to serve that smelly disgusting waste of air. He thought rolling his eyes.

Standing back up, he saw that the Undertaker was already through the hotel doors.

Bradshaw and Faarooq looked at each other a moment. Then they turned and walked in themselves.

Again I'm stuck out here with the stuff. Gangrel thought, knowing he couldn't carry the remainder alone.

What's taking them so long? He wondered, peering into the darkened lot.

"It's about time." He thought, when he finally spotted them coming into the light.

"What took you so long?" Gangrel asked.

Neither brother spoke. Instead they picked up some the remaining bags and walked inside.

If I'm going to explain myself it will be to Undertaker and not Gangrel. Edge thought.

I didn't realize we'd been that slow. Is Undertaker angry? Christian wondered fearfully, as they entered the lobby.

Putting down the bags, Edge watched with mild aggravation, as bellman appeared to carry them away.

Where we they when we pulled up? He wondered.

The three blondes joined the other members, gathered around Undertaker.

Good everyone is here now. He thought, putting his hand out.

Please don't stick me with Paul again. Gangrel silently pleaded.

Undertaker looked at the numbers on the keys Paul had given him.

Looks good. This will spread them out around me. He thought.

"Usual arrangements." Undertaker said, handing a key each to Bradshaw, Edge, Mideon and Paul.

Shit I'm stuck with Gangrel again. I cannot abide his strange habits. Paul thought unhappily.

The others quickly took their keys and headed to the assigned rooms.

*DX*

Pulling up to the hotel, Billy cleared his throat loudly. When no one moved or awakened, he got out and slammed the door.

One by one the others exited the Van. Most of them were still half-asleep.

Jessie began helping him unload. Then looking up, Billy saw Tori using the side mirror to fix her hair.

"Tori go inside and get someone to take care of the bags." Billy told her.

"But…" She started to whine.

"Unless you'd like to carry them." He said, quickly cutting her off.

With a huff Tori turned and went inside.

"Nicely done." Chyna said with a laugh.

Hunter didn't say a word he just went to check in. Grabbing the keys for his group, he handed them to Chyna and headed upstairs.

I'm not dealing with their arguments and bullshit tonight. I just need to relax. He thought, as he left them behind.

*J.J./X-Pac*

"So assuming I believe you didn't know I was here. Why did you chase me away from the bar?" J.J. asked, still staring at X-Pac in disbelief.

"I didn't chase you. I followed you. I wanted to talk to you." X-Pac replied, indicating that she should take a seat.

Sure…lets get this overwith. J.J. thought.

"What do you have to say?" J.J. asked, not moving toward a chair.

"He's changed and not for the better. You should reconsider and come back." X-Pac said seriously, knowing she would know exactly who he was talking about.

He doesn't think I've been watching. How can he think I wouldn't keep track of him? J.J. thought, watching him.

"Really J.J., if it was the job or Vince that made you leave. You don't have to deal with that. Just travel with him." He continued.

I wish. J.J. thought.

"I can't do that. It wouldn't work." J.J. said quietly.

"But J.J., you were the best thing to ever happen to him. I never saw him so happy. He's really hurting without you. Fuck J.J. it's nearly as bad as when he first got there with Paul and it's only going to get worse." X-Pac said, sounding really concerned.

"J.J. we both know from experience how he is. When he's hurt or upset he becomes angry to hide it. He's very very angry J.J." He continued before she could respond.

I'd do it in a heartbeat if that were the real reason I'm here and not in his arms. But it's not. Going back would be bad for both of us. J.J. thought, trying not to show her sorrow.

"Don't you think we thought about that before I left. I tried to think of anything that we could do stay together. But as you can see, we're not together." J.J. replied, with an edge of pain to her voice.

"J.J. you have no idea what's been happening." He said. "Kane broke King's jaw intentionally right after you left. He nearly killed Hunter in a cage and he's being absolutely brutal with every match, with everyone. He's even attacked one of the trainers."

I know he has, but eventually he'll find someone else and be happy again. J.J. thought, knowing that was unlikely if he continued behaving as he was.

"So when do you face him?" J.J. asked, already knowing the answer.

"Tomorrow, but that has nothing to do with this." X-Pac said.

"Oh it doesn't? You just said he was being extremely brutal, but you're not worried about it." J.J. said skeptically.

"No, I'm worried about it. I'm always worried when I face him. He's going to beat the shit out of me. I know it and so do most people. But what I'm really worried about is what's going to happen afterward." He said, looking her in the eye.

"DX is going to jump him again right." J.J. said, leaning right into X-Pac's face.

"Yes, they're going to take him out. He's really been pissing Hunter off. I'm sure this time they're going to hospitalize him or worse. He's going to need you more than ever." X-Pac said, forcing himself not to break eye contact.

Shit Shit Shit! J.J. thought, remembering the match where DX used the chairs.

Her stomach flipped, as she recalled watching it with him and seeing it in her dreams.

Oh god, he's right. Kane will need me. But I can't hurt him by showing up like that. Everyone will know I lied. J.J. thought feeling nauseous.

"J.J. please." X-Pac said, with a plaintive note to his voice.

"I can't do it X-Pac. I said I wouldn't and I won't." J.J. said, even though the words tore at her heart.

I told him and myself that I would stay away. I don't think I could keep that vow if I were in the same place as him. J.J. thought, desperately longing to feel him in her arms.

"Damn it J.J. he needs you!" X-Pac insisted.

"What the hell does it matter to you!" J.J. yelled, slapping him in the face.

"You're worse than they ever were. At least he knew what to expect from them. But you… you pretended to be his friend and destroyed him!" J.J. yelled, her hands clenched into fists as she fought the urge to hit him again.

"Oh yeah and you were such a perfect angel walking out on him the way you did. I'm sure having you choose anything over staying with him made him feel great. I may have hurt him you bitch. But I never pretended to love him. I never played with his emotions as badly as you did. I never screwed him, cut off his balls and left the way you did whore." X-Pac yelled back, getting to his feet.

"You ASSHOLE! You have no idea what he means to me." J.J. yelled tearfully, pushing against him as she tried to get past.

"He means so much that you walk away without looking back. Even when you know he'll need you there, you can't be bothered." He growled with obvious fury.

"AAAAGGGHHH!" She screamed, pushing him away with enough force to land him on his ass.

"We're not through!" X-Pac yelled, as she headed for the door.

*J.J./Sandy*

I have to get out of here now! J.J. thought, rushing out of the room.

She could hardly see through her tears, as she began moving through the crowd.

"J.J. what's wrong?" Sandy asked, stepping in front of her.

What? J.J. thought, trying to focus on the person in front of her.

"J.J. what happened!" Sandy said more loudly, grabbing J.J.'s arms to keep her still.

"Nothing, everything. I have to go. You and Roger have been… I hope… I'll see you again." J.J. gulped out between sobs.

Pulling away, J.J. blindly stumbled out the door and into the streets.

Was that goodbye? Is she leaving for good? Sandy wondered, fearing she'd seen the last of her friend.

I can't let her leave like that. Sandy thought, heading out the door after her.

Sandy quickly realized that she'd never catch the younger woman.

*Sandy/Roger*

"Roger!" Sandy said loudly to get his attention.

"What's up?" Roger asked, seeing the worried look on her face.

"It's J.J. she just ran out of here crying her eyes out." Sandy said.

If he's still back there I'm going to find out what the hell he did to her. So help me I'll kill him. Roger thought angrily, as he vaulted over the bar.

"Watch the bar!" He replied, immediately moving into the back.

*X-Pac/Roger*

Shit! What the hell is wrong with you? X-Pac thought, as the door slammed behind her.

First you shock the hell out of her by finding her. You tell her Kane is going crazy and it's her fault. Then you act like she didn't really feel for him, when you know she did. He thought, standing up.

You should have gone after and apologized or something. He told himself.

"It's too late now, she's long gone." He murmured. "You've probably just made everything worse."

"Made what worse?" Roger said from the doorway.

"What? I mean who are you?" X-Pac asked, clearly surprised and flustered.

"My wife and I own this place. You have just run off our friend and decorator. I suggest you start explaining yourself." Roger said, his tone deadly serious.

"Your DECORATOR?" X-Pac stuttered, getting more confused.

"You sound surprised." Roger said, crossing his arms in front of his face.

"I am. That's not what she was doing when I worked with her." X-Pac said, beginning to wonder what J.J. had told them.

This guy does not look like a cop. Roger thought, looking closely at the young man.

"Who are you? Where you in her precinct?" Roger asked.

"She was a cop too?" He said, so confused he fell into a chair.

He was a co-worker but doesn't know she was with the police? Roger thought, staring at the young man.

"You'd better start doing better than this. Or I might start thinking you were trying to hurt her somehow." Roger growled.

X-Pac just stared at him.

"Where did you work with her?" Roger said, trying to get a clear answer from him.

"I worked with her a few months ago." X-Pac said, worried that he'd say something wrong.

"What Company?" Roger practically shouted in frustration.

"Titan Sports." He said quickly.

I hope that was the right thing to say. X-Pac wondered.

"What did she do for them? What did you do?" Roger asked.

"She was a photographer. She took pictures of the events and the athletes. I'm an athlete." He said, intentionally being vague.

She's a photographer? She said she'd taken a few classes in college. Roger thought, saddened that she'd lied to them.

"She's a photographer?" Roger asked sounding both confused and hurt.

She didn't tell them? Why not? X-Pac wondered.

"Best I've ever seen." X-Pac said.

That doesn't matter now, I just need to know what happened here. Roger told himself.

"This isn't why I came back here. I need to know what is going on. Why did you chase her back here?"

"Listen man, I didn't chase her. I was really surprised to see her. I wanted to talk to her, that's it." X-Pac said.

That sounds like a load of shit. Roger thought, staring holes through the young man.

"If that's true why did she run out of here crying?" Roger demanded.

"We were discussing a mutual friend and we got into an argument. She ran out, I thought it would be better if I didn't chase her and push the issue. So I decided to stay here until I could leave without her seeing me." X-Pac said, becoming worried that he was saying way too much.

Talking about a friend caused an argument. I'm going to need boots if this shit gets any deeper. Roger thought, deciding to press him further.

"Who is this friend? Why would that cause an argument? That doesn't make sense." Roger said, stepping further into the room.

She obviously hasn't told them anything about her time with the WWE. X-Pac realized.

"I'm not saying another word about our conversation or anything else. It was a private matter. I'm sorry she got so upset. As for the rest, it seems to me that she didn't tell you much about her past. I shouldn't be the one to tell you about it, she should." X-Pac said turning to leave.

"Are you him?" Sandy asked from the doorway.

"Am I who?" X-Pac asked.

"If you don't know then you aren't." She replied quietly.

"You'd better go. Don't come back." Roger told him.

"Sure I'm gone." X-Pac said, moving toward Sandy.

Roger walked him all the way out the front door.

"Crisis is over, let's have some fun." Roger laughed, as he turned back to the room.

Reaching out, Roger pulled Sandy into an embrace.

"I'm sorry. I should have let you check." Roger said. "I can hold down the fort while you go after her."

"You wouldn't mind?" Sandy asked still concerned about J.J.

"I'm sure baby. But hurry back to me." Roger said, giving her a squeeze.

Sandy moved quickly out the door and into the night.

*Kane*

Once in his room, Kane ordered some food and collapsed onto the couch.

Why the hell do they still cheer me? I've given the beast full reign and shown them what a monster I am. How can they still cheer? Kane wondered, confused by the fans.

None of that really matters right now though. I need to concentrate on my match tomorrow. X-Pac is a tough little shit, but I'm pretty sure I can handle him. Kane thought, trying to plan for everything.

My bigger problem is DX. Hunter is undoubtedly still pissed that I ruined his date. He'll be out for blood. Kane thought.

When it's over, I know Vince is going to suspend me. But I'll be damned if I go down alone. I'm taking Hunter out with me, and as many others as I can. Kane decided.

A knock pulled him from his thoughts. Turning toward the door, he realized that he'd never removed his mask.

Bringing the food in, he tipped the kid and shut the door.

When did I start wearing that? He wondered, staring down at the mask beside his plate.

While he tried to eat. Kane searched his memory for a time when he didn't hide his marred countenance from everyone, including himself.

*Cena*

"You have a package Mr. Cena." The clerk said, handing it to him along with his card key.

"Yes." He whispered, tearing open the paper and seeing a tape inside.

"Yes what?" Kidman asked.

"Just a tape. According to Eddie and Helms a very hot tape." Cena said, smiling in anticipation.

"You're gonna share right?" Kidman asked.

Only because I was stupid enough to tell you what it was. I'd rather be alone in case it is that hot. Cena thought with a sigh.

"Of course, we'll get some of the other guys together and have a few beers." Cena said.

"Great. What time?" Kidman said smiling.

"Nine. Everyone should be here by then." Cena said.

Besides that gives me time for a preview. He thought.