The Long Road Home
She couldn't seem to move. The swift current of unexpected rage seared her boots to the ground.
Before her, Rick knelt, mere inches away from her unmoving hand.
Dragging her attention across the gravel road, she found Daryl. His blue eyes met hers with an indecipherable stare, but he made no move to step any closer.
Everything slowed in those brief moments. Blurred and cleared within the same breath. Beyond the chain link fence, a few souls wandered away from their concrete protection. Their mouths worked mutely before Carol's eyes, but she felt their stares crawl over her form.
Lifting her chin, she squinted in wonder at the sky. Carol blinked against the wispy clouds, then lowered her head back down again. Dusk painted the land like old drying blood. Leaves shimmered on the sparse trees surrounding the complex, though her sweaty skin could feel no breeze.
From just around a cement corner, a new shape appeared. One with dark hair and narrow eyes. Half confidence and uncertainty, caught somewhere between being a boy and a man. Carol found herself missing an absent hat.
"Daryl?"
The voice was so much deeper than she remembered. Her fingers twitched at her side. Relief like a pain ripped through her chest.
Carl took a few jogging steps forward. She watched Daryl's head turn to the sound.
"Daryl?" And Carl made his way through the chain-link gate, rushing across the uneven gravel.
He pulled up awkwardly just before Daryl, seemingly remembering himself. Remembering the eyes that watched them all and the space of the years that gaped between. Carl swiped at his cheek and held out a hand.
And she watched as Daryl clasped his wrist. Saw him slide an arm around Carl's back. Pretended not to see how his face twisted sharply from emotion that threatened.
Tearing her eyes away, she looked down. Rick remained bowed in the dirt.
And then, as she watched, a hand reached out to land on his shoulder.
Unwittingly, her fingers found the narrow curve to the side of his neck. His shirt was rough underneath her palm.
Rick looked up slightly and met her eyes.
From across the driveway, a joyful shout. She couldn't bring herself to turn.
A long look passed between them. Not happiness or forgiveness or even surprise. Something like acceptance bloomed there in the dirt. Her fingertips dug into his shoulder. Rick exhaled a long-held breath. His hand reached up to cover hers.
The barest of nods, and her hand withdrew.
"Carol!"
The smile came easily for Carl's sake. The hug nearly rocked her off her feet.
"Look at you!" Something in her chest tightened as she gave him a squeeze. Leaning back, she brushed the hair off his forehead to get herself a better look. "You're so much taller than I am now!" She had to laugh. Pleased, he flushed, and she tried not to see Lori in his eyes.
"I can't believe you're here!" He squeezed her again and then went on, weaving happily around them all. Peppering them with questions without a reply. Carol scarcely heard a word as Daryl came to stand stiffly at her side.
Rick pulled himself up, not meeting their eyes. He surveyed the few trees on the horizon. "We should head in the gate. Not safe to stay out here with the sun going down."
She hesitated, her eyes drifting to Daryl. At his nod, she took a step. Pausing, she waited until Rick moved on, then followed behind. With Daryl at her side, they entered the gate.
Rick muttered to Carl, who chained the gate and jogged swiftly off, skirting around a cracked, empty pool.
He led them into one of the concrete buildings. Inside was shockingly dark and uncomfortably damp, and Carol swore she could still smell the chlorine. It was cold in there, and she shivered as her skin immediately missed the falling sun.
"I'll get someone to pull in your car," Rick rasped, snagging some keys from a hook on the wall. The few strangers nearby quickly cleared out from the cramped space. He led them through a darkened hall lined with small lockers and jingled the keys at a door. She felt Daryl's chest against her back. Steadied herself by his presence. After a minute, Rick opened the door and led them inside.
By the light of a lamp, she looked around. It must have been a staff room, a long time ago. A few sagging pieces of furniture stood waiting in the cramped, gloomy space. Daryl eyed a clipboard still hooked to the wall.
"Do you need anything? Food? Water? Meals are done for the day, but I can get you something to eat if you -"
"We're fine," Carol finally found her voice. "Maybe some water, but we're fine." Daryl nodded in silent agreement.
Rick ran a hand through his hair. "I can't believe you're here." He turned to Daryl. "How'd you know we hadn't moved on?"
Silently, Daryl reached for his pocket. "Found this...little while back. Figured you were still nearby."
Rick's lips parted in mute shock as he reached for the badge. "The hospital," he whispered. He shook his head and looked up. "I thought...We all thought...When you didn't come back that spring we thought-"
"Still kickin'," Daryl muttered, then looked to the floor.
Rick scrubbed a hand over his face. "I can't...I can't believe you found her."
Daryl looked up with narrowed eyes. Even two feet away she could feel him tense.
"How long were you out on the road?"
She watched Daryl needlessly adjust the bow. "Couple days. Was hard to find roads that were clear."
"Days..." Rick repeated, brow wrinkling in thought. "Where were-"
He was cut off by the hurried scuffle of boots in the hall.
"Oh, my God."
Carol turned to find Glenn stilled at the door.
"Oh, my..." His eyes darted from Daryl to Carol in disbelief. An instant later, she stumbled as he nearly crashed her over in a hug. "Carl said...I thought he lost his mind!"
She smiled through the tears as she tried to keep them both upright.
"Oh, my God," Glenn repeated, then hugged her again. "How did you get here?"
"It's a long story," she managed shakily, chuckling as he finally released her arms.
Glenn turned to Daryl. "I'd hug you, too, but I don't want to die."
Daryl smirked and held out his hand. As Glenn reached to shake it, Daryl pulled him forward, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.
"Now I'm sure I'm dreaming," Glenn muttered as he stepped away from the hug. "I can't believe you're both alive."
Rick scuffed his feet on the gritty cement. "I sent Carl for Maggie and Michonne. Figured we all got some catching up to do."
Glenn could barely tame the grin on his face. "Maggie's gonna freak. She had Judith over by the slides."
Carol's heart jumped a bit at the little girl's name. "Is Judith...Is she okay?" Her throat tightened at the words. She hadn't dared to allow herself to hope.
"Yeah," Rick nodded. "She's okay. Looks more like Lori every day."
A watery smile pulled at her face.
Meanwhile, Daryl shifted, then peered solemnly up at Glenn. There was one name that hadn't been said. "Beth?" he asked quietly.
Glenn's face fell as he shook his head. "She got sick the winter you left. You know how she wasn't... Never really came out of it after the prison, you know. She got sick and just...she couldn't fight it."
Daryl's head bowed, and Carol could read guilt in his eyes. His shoulders took on the weight of Beth's death. Automatically, her fingers longed to connect with his hand, but she found herself hesitant to make the move. Unsure how welcome the contact would be under the line of the others' eyes. Instead, she turned to Glenn. "I'm sorry."
He nodded, and the sudden quiet beat in her ears. Unfamiliar voices echoes around them through the hollow concrete rooms.
After a minute, Carol pushed down the lump in her throat. "How's Maggie?"
Glenn smiled. "Good. She's good. Really good, actually. She's...well, we tried for a long time and we're, uh..."
He was interrupted by a scurrying motion near the door. Carol gasped as a very pregnant Maggie edged in the room, holding the hand of a little girl with curly dark hair and her mother's eyes.
The breath held tight in her lungs as Rick scooped up his daughter. Beside her, Daryl exhaled a relieved breath.
"Hey, pretty girl." For the first time, a smile lit Rick's face as he kissed Judith in greeting. Something melted away from Carol's chest.
Settling the little girl on his hip, Rick whispered lightly into her ear. "Got some important people for you to meet."
The rest of the evening passed in a blur.
Eventually, Maggie rose and declared it was past time to sleep. Dawn would arrive in a few short hours. Carol smiled sympathetically as the girl rubbed at her aching back and practically waddled toward the door.
Glenn followed his wife a few minutes later. "I better go, too. Got that early run. Better get a couple hours before we go." His eyes darted to the vacant door as he lowered his voice. "And if I don't rub her feet before bed..."
"Go ahead," Rick chuckled softly, adjusting Judith where she'd fallen asleep across his chest. "See you at dawn." He turned to Carl, who was fading quickly himself. "You better head out, too."
Carl stood without disagreement, wavering slightly on his boots. "Want me to take Jude?"
"Nah, we're good. I'll be along in a little bit."
With one last hug for Carol, he sauntered away. Michonne remained perched at Rick's side.
Eventually, Daryl spoke, breaking into an uneasy silence. "Kind of run you got?"
Carol looked over in surprise. He'd been quiet all evening, letting her do most of the talking. Tension pulled at the space between him and Rick.
And Carol herself hadn't said much at all. Mostly, the others had talked. Caught them up on the last couple years. Of course, she and Daryl had spoken briefly of Haven, but as the evening wound down, she was left with the distinct feeling that far more had been avoided than what was said.
They still hadn't mentioned they weren't going to stay.
Rick looked to Daryl while absently smoothing Judith's hair. "Water," he said. "Usually get it from that creek a couple miles out. The one we camped at before we got here."
Daryl nodded, squinting in remembrance and confusion.
"Still do most of the time. Gets dry like this, though," Rick continued, "we gotta head out farther. 'Bout two hours drive to fill up the truck. Takes a while to fill the jugs. Makes for a solid day of work."
Carol pursed her lips, thinking of Red and his pipes and Haven's relatively easy water supply.
"How often you make that run?" Daryl asked.
"Every couple of days. Got so many people here now, we just go through it." Rick shrugged. "We got a rotation. Tomorrow's our turn...Me and Glenn and Michonne."
"Uses a lot of fuel," Daryl commented to the floor.
"We're okay on that...least for now. Be a lot worse if we weren't. Don't know what we'll do when we run out of that."
Daryl shifted, bringing a hand up to his mouth. "You want an extra man tomorrow?"
"You offering?" Michonne's voice held a tinge of a smile.
Catching Carol's eye briefly, Daryl confirmed his intentions with a nod.
"Then far be it from me to turn that down. Those jugs are heavy. Have to wade in the creek to fill them. And water's never really been my thing." Michonne stood carefully and stretched. "And here I am, living at a pool."
Carol smiled at the woman's words. She seemed different than before. More relaxed. Calmer, somehow. With a soft smile, the woman reached down, easily removing Judith from Rick's arms as though she had done it a thousand times before. "I'll get her settled before bed." The little girl curled sleepily into her neck.
Rick sighed, pulling to his feet at her side. "We don't have much in the way of places to stay," he explained. "All the buildings are full up and then some. Figured Carol could bunk with Michonne for tonight. There's an extra bed in that room." He looked to Daryl. "Got a sleeping bag somewhere in mine. That okay for now?"
Carol tried to tamp down her surprise. It shouldn't have taken her off guard. She and Daryl hadn't mentioned that anything had changed between them. And, through accident or design, they certainly hadn't shown it either. She'd never thought to ask him what, if anything, he wanted to say. Immediately, she felt him tense at Rick's words. Still, her eyes slid to his before she spoke.
"That'd be fine," she said softly. Maybe she imagined it, but she thought she saw Michonne's face flicker in surprise as she eased through the door.
"Slept on floors before," Daryl muttered. His eyes darted to Carol with something like worry. Rick moved ahead on into the hall.
"It's okay," she whispered softly, squeezing his palm between her fingers. The night had been a lot to take in. Telling the others...maybe that was something best left for the following day, if they said anything at all. Carol saw some of the worry drain from his eyes. "I'll see you in the morning."
Her fingertips brushed against his as she quickened her steps to find Michonne.
"So, how long's that been going on?"
Carol stopped in the middle of unrolling a blanket. "What?"
Michonne's eyes flickered deliberately to the doorway of her tiny alcove, then lowered back down to the sheet in her hands. "Daryl. And you."
Carol opened her mouth to respond, but closed it in favor of an acknowledging shrug. Obviously, the woman had seen something. "Is it that obvious?"
Michonne eyed her for a second before allowing her lips to tug slightly upward. "Yes. But only because I was looking for it."
Looking for it? "Why-"
"Man doesn't search for two years in this world without a good reason." She allowed a bit of a wistful smile. "Besides, he can't keep his eyes off you. Or you off him. Like some secret language." She shrugged. "Rest of us can't understand the words, but if you pay attention, you know when it's there."
Carol contemplated her words. Echoes still wormed their way through the dark halls, and she wondered if it was ever silent. "I know it's been hard here without him. I never meant to take him from the group."
"You didn't," Michonne chuckled. "That man was gone long before he left. My guess is, he was that way not too long after he met you."
Her mind wandered back to Hershel's farm.
Pursing her lips, Michonne tucked a corner on what would be Carol's bed. "Always wondered how long it'd take." She shook her head. "Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees." She turned to Carol as she crossed the cramped room. "How long are you staying?"
Carol chewed at her tongue. They hadn't discussed the length of their stay. From Rick's earlier words, she figured he assumed they were there for good. She'd figured they all thought that was the case. Just another topic left unaddressed.
"I know you're not staying here," Michonne soothed quietly. "Not with how you talked about that other place. It's crowded here...I sleep in a closet...and I know Daryl doesn't do crowded."
By her silence, Carol agreed, idly wondering if the woman had always been so observant.. "I'm not sure how long," she finally said.
"Well, it's good to see you while you're here."
Carol settled into the bed, a question half-formed on her lips. Maybe she had no right to ask. "Would you consider coming back with us?"
Michonne tilted her head. "I don't know. It depends...on the others. It's not the place that matters so much as the people. Not anymore."
Again, Carol considered her words, piecing together what she thought she'd seen earlier that night. "Is there...Is there something between you and Rick?"
Michonne surprised her then by allowing a laugh. "Yes," the woman said quietly. "There are a lot of trees."
Can't see the forest for the trees. And Carol smiled in the dark.
The group left early the following day. Carol and Maggie saw them off through the chain link gate.
It had been an awkward parting. Her fingers itched to take his hand, but Daryl's darting eyes had held her back. Instead, she'd whispered a quiet goodbye. "Stay safe."
He'd smirked a tiny bit at that. "You know I'm comin' back."
"I know. Just try to do it in one piece."
"That's the plan."
She'd nodded and watched as he vaulted himself into the back of the truck alongside Glenn. His eyes held hers as they pulled away. It seemed he was always driving away.
Maggie turned to Carol as the dust clouded up. "They'll be fine," she said firmly.
"I know." But that worry still crept up in her chest.
After a moment Carol shrugged it away. Worrying would do no good. Spinning on her heel, she noticed Maggie watching with a hint of a smile. "What?"
"Are you two..." she made a vague waving motion with her arm.
Carol felt her face flush red. "Really?" First Michonne and now this. Despite herself, she had to grin. "How did you know?"
Maggie's mouth widened to a triumphant smile. "Could just tell," she shrugged. "Don't worry. Glenn has no idea."
They spent the day around the complex, looking after Judith and catching up. Still, Carol's nerves grew tight as the sun slipped from the sky. She'd thought they would have returned by now.
"Sometimes it takes this long," Maggie soothed, seeing how worry crossed her face. Carol let herself be comforted by the girl's words. "It's just...It's safe but it's not always easy around here. A lot of work just for water." She eyed the crowd scattered around them. "And there's just so many people here. A lot different than when we first found it." She paused, seeming to work through a thought in her mind. "We wouldn't have made it without Daryl."
Carol nodded and resumed watching the road. Judith offered her a wilting flower.
"Can I ask," Maggie started, "what made you come back here? I wouldn't have thought you'd have wanted to. Not after what happened."
Carol swallowed and then shrugged. "Daryl found something on a run. Rick's badge, actually."
Maggie raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Where?"
"A hospital. And it just...Things were unsettled. It wasn't easy for Daryl to leave this place. He missed you all. So did I."
Maggie watched Judith play in the thin, weedy grass. "I'm so sorry for what happened back at the prison."
"Me, too." Carol sighed. "But that was a long time ago. And there's no changing it. All that matters is what happens now."
Judith giggled with her hands in the dirt.
At last came the rumbling of the truck on the old gravel road. Carol's shoulders eased in quiet relief.
In the deep dusk, it was difficult to see their faces as they unloaded the truck. Side by side, Daryl and Rick unloaded the jugs in a tired silence, handing them off without saying a word. For a second it could have been years in the past. Other men emerged to help, and she lost them briefly to the crowd.
But she didn't miss the swelling bruise near Rick's eye or the bloodied knuckles of Daryl's wounded right hand.