Thrasher walked slowly out of the cinema, trudging like an elephant with gout. He stopped and leaned against the wall to reattach his nose, which had fallen off from crying too much.

It was the worst day of his life. The Harry Potter movie series was over. There was nothing left to live for.

Through all the pain and suffering, the rejections from Scapegrace, the fights and the lies and general discomfort, Harry Potter had been the light at the end of the tunnel. He'd been depressed when the book series came to an end, too, but at least he knew he'd still have the films. But now the films were also over and he'd lost the will to live.

He took the bus home, crying all the way.

'YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME.'

Vaurien Scapegrace burst wide-eyed through the doors of China's library. Valkyrie, Skulduggery, China, Tanith, Ghastly and Fletcher looked up.

'How many times do I have to tell you?' China asked furiously. 'NO ZOMBIES ALLOWED!'

'I refuse to live by your unjust rules,' said Scapegrace. He turned to Skulduggery. 'It's Thrasher. He's - he's...'

He burst into tears. Valkyrie ran over to give him a hug, but had to step back when she realised how bad he smelled.

'What's wrong with him?' she asked, gingerly patting him on the head instead.

'I think he's dead,' whispered Scapegrace. His eyes filled with fresh tears.

'Of course he's dead,' said Skulduggery impatiently. 'You're dead too. I'm dead. Fletcher's brain-dead.'

'Hey!' said Fletcher. He paused. 'Actually, I don't know what that means. But it sounded insulting.'

'You don't understaaaaaaand,' Scapegrace wailed. 'Thrasher's actually dead. Not undead. Dead. I don't know how it happened, but you have to come!'

'I have better things to do -' Skulduggery began, but Valkyrie was already putting on her coat. 'Of course we'll help you, Scapegrace.'

Skulduggery activated his facade so he could give her a resentful glare, then deactivated it again. 'Fine,' he said, getting up. 'To the Skulmobile!'

China's assistant, the bow-tie man, gave Scapegrace some tissues and escorted them out the door. They got into the Bentley and drove to the zombies' secret lair.

'How do you know where it is?' Scapegrace mumbled tearfully. 'It's supposed to be secret.'

'It's about as secret as Burger King,' said Skulduggery.

'FML.'

They got out of the car and went into the lair, which was actually a comfortable suburban bungalow, and Scapegrace led them to the kitchen. Thrasher was lying motionless on the floor.

'Oh dear,' said Valkyrie, crossing herself. Scapegrace bent his head.

Skulduggery walked over and inspected the body. 'I don't know how he managed to do it,' he said, 'but it looks like suicide.'

'Noooooooo!' Scapegrace cried. 'I never even got to tell him I loved him... maybe if I had, he wouldn't have done it!'

'I'm sorry, Vaurien,' said Skulduggery.

Vaurien knelt beside Thrasher and held his hand, shaking with grief. 'I think now would be a good moment to read my poem,' he said hoarsely.

'Oh God,' Skulduggery hissed to Valkyrie. 'Let's leave.'

But Valkyrie shook her head. 'Go ahead, Vaurien,' she said solemnly.

Scapegrace took a crumpled piece of paper out of his coat pocket. 'I wrote this for you, Thrasher. It's called Thrasher.'

'What a great title,' said Skulduggery, trying to be supportive, but Valkyrie just glared at him.

'Gerald - known as Thrasher - I have never loved another

Until last year when I pretended you were Adolf, my dead brother.

I admire you almost as much as I admire myself, the Killer Supreme,

If it wasn't for you my house would not be clean.

How I missed our impromptu murders in the Sanctuary halls, in cupboards, on stages -

Where the hell were all the mages?

We've seen everything eye to eye, all the pain, all the hurt

I swear I didn't steal this poem from Kurt,

We've shared so many intimate moments, memories that shine and glitter

Just the two of us, SkulBook, MySpace, Tumblr and Twitter.

Since we met it's been absolute heaven,

Except for that time we almost died in 2007.

I'm so thankful to have a partner as awesome as me,

And forever we shall be, unless the writer changes things in chapter thirty-three.'

Scapegrace gave an emotional sniff and folded up his piece of paper.

Thrasher sat up. 'Master?'

Scapegrace gasped. 'Thrasher? You're alive?'

'I think my suicide attempt failed,' said Thrasher sheepishly. 'That was a really nice poem. And I was wrong. I thought I had nothing to live for, but I do. I have you. I love you, Master Veevee.'

Scapegrace's eyes brimmed with happy tears. 'I love you too, Thrasher.'

Skulduggery turned to Valkyrie. 'NOW can we leave?'

'Yes, OK,' said Valkyrie.

And they all lived happily ever after.

A/N: :DDDDDDDDDDDD

The original poem was from the Klaine skit on the last day of the Glee tour in Dublin (and no I wasn't there but I so wish I was.) If you haven't heard it already, here it is:

'Blaine Warbler Anderson, I have never loved another,

Except for last year when I was in love with my stepbrother,

I admire you almost as much as I admire the late Alexander McQueen,

You squint when you sing,

How I missed our impromptu performances in the Dalton Academy halls, the rooms, the bleachers,

where the hell were all the teachers?

We ve seen everything eye to eye, all the pain, all the hurt,

at least we did till my last growth spurt,

We ve shared so many intimate moments, memories that shine and glitter,

Just the two of us, Facebook, MySpace, Tumblr and Twitter,

Since we've met its been absolute heaven,

For your Emmy consideration, 2011.

But through all the glory, the scary and the hype,

I swear to god I'm going to punch the next person that calls me a stereotype

I'm so thankful to have found a partner as talented as me,

and forever we shall be unless the writers change things in Season 3.'