Chapter 26: Compromise

After their game of laser tag, the two adults stand silently across the room from each other as Alexis ascends the stairs for bed. Rick studies her, taking in her sullen look, before he whispers, "I'm sorry, Kate."

"This wasn't your fault," she looks up to meet his gaze.

"It wasn't yours either."

"You could have died today, Rick. Any slight change in the situation, and Alexis might not have had a father when she got home from school."

"I'm still here, Kate. I'm not going anywhere."

"You don't know that. You can't know that."

"When Hallirook first attacked you, you told me not to dwell on what could have happened in different situations. I need you to do the same."

"Rick, you don't seem to grasp the danger of the situation you were in. You joke about it like getting shot is no big deal. It is a big deal. Instead of playing laser tag tonight, I could have been telling Martha and Alexis that you had been shot while we tried to apprehend a suspect. And they would probably hate me for letting you go in there, for not protecting you."

"Kate –"

"And the press," she cuts him off. "What would they think of me if I let Richard Castle die? Just think of the headlines they would come up with. They'd be following me around and asking questions and… What would your fans think of me, Castle? They'd be angry, and they'd start following me and asking questions. Questions that I wouldn't want to deal with."

"Please, Kate, just –" he tries again, only for her to cut him off once more.

"And on top of that, I'd probably lose my job too. All your friends in high places would make sure I was fired because they lost their poker buddy. What would I do with myself if I couldn't be a detective?"

He opens his mouth to speak as he reaches out to her, but she backs away from his touch. "Lis–"

"Did you ever think about what I would be going through if you died? The pain that I would have to go through without you there to help? And the guilt that I would feel after you died at my take down?" She pauses to take a breath, and a tear fall down her cheek. "I just wish you wouldn't joke about things like this, Rick. I know I haven't really told you how much you mean to me, but you're it. You're my one and done."

Castle opens his arms to her, and she graciously accepts his hug, burying his face in her hair while she cries into his shoulder, her fists buried in his shirt to keep him with her. "I'm sorry," he repeats, kissing the top of her head.

After five minutes, she pulls away from him and wipes her eyes to get rid of the tears. "I think we need to talk, Rick."

"Okay," he agrees, not quite sure what she wanted to talk about, but willing to listen if she wanted to open up to him. He leads her to the couch and sits down. His worry increases when she sits a couple feet from him instead of right next to him.

"Castle… I want you to stop shadowing me," Kate says, looking him in the eye.

"Why?" He is unable to get anything else out after her shocking request.

"You've been following me for almost two years; I'm sure you have enough inspiration for half a dozen more books. And now that we're together, you don't have to hang around the precinct to try to win me over."

"Kate, it wasn't just about trying to win you over. I like spending time with you. And I like Ryan and Esposito and Lanie and Montgomery and everyone else. I like solving cases with you guys. It makes me feel useful, like I'm actually doing some good in the world instead of just writing about the evil."

"Please, Rick. It's a win-win situation. You have more time to write without the distractions, and I don't have to worry about something happening to you on the job. You are put in danger in my world far more than I am put in danger in yours."

"Kate," he sighs. He knows she is right to ask him to stop following her, but he doesn't want to, even though it doesn't mean the end of their relationship.

"You said that you would be writing if you weren't following me around. So write, Castle. You're good at it."

"I don't know if I can write Nikki Heat if I'm not around you all the time," he honestly responds. Silence envelops them as they both become deep in thought. Suddenly he recalls something she had said that night. "You said that I keep your job light, Kate. If I'm not there, you'll lose that."

"I still have you at home."

"But… please, Kate. Don't make me do this."

"This isn't about me, Castle. It's about your daughter too. Do you want to see her graduate in six months? Do you want to see her walk down the aisle on her wedding day?"

Rick looks into her green eyes, "Okay, Kate. It's over. I won't follow you anymore."

"Thank you," she whispers, scooting closer to rest her head on his shoulder.

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You keep talking about how dangerous your job is, and I don't want to lose you either, Kate."

She sits up abruptly, "Are you seriously asking me to quit my job, Castle? Because I will not do that."

"I don't want anything to happen to you, Kate. I'd be a zombie without you, living but not feeling anything. And what would happen to Alexis if that happened?"

"No. Don't turn this around on me, Castle. I didn't ask you to quit your job for me."

"Kate."

"I can't quit, Rick. You know that."

"Why not?" he asks, watching her. "I make plenty of money for both of us."

"What would I do with myself all day long, Castle?"

"I can think of plenty of things you could do," he smiles, but it quickly disappears when he sees her glare. "You would find something to do."

"I can't quit," she repeats.

"Is this because of your mother's case?"

"It's not just that," Kate looks into his eyes. "What about all of those other people that need justice? Why should I sit here and bask in your wealth when I could be helping them? Being a detective is part of who I am, and I can't change that."

"But you're asking me to change who I am."

"I didn't ask you to stop writing. You're a mystery writer, Castle, not a detective."

"But I have changed for you."

"Yes, and I'm grateful that you love me enough to make those changes. But this is who I am. You fell in love with me because I'm a detective. Every reason you list has to do with seeing me as a detective. Those things you changed were behaviors; they weren't really who you are but acts that you put up for the public's sake."

"I don't love you because you're a detective, Kate. I fell in love with you because of the characteristics I saw you display as a detective on a daily basis."

"I'm not quitting. You're just going to have to accept it, Castle."

"If you won't quit, I'm still going to shadow you."

"Please, Rick."

"Let's make a deal," he offers. She frowns but doesn't comment. "Three days. I'll go in three days a week and shadow you. And I'll listen to every direction you give me; I'll wait in the car until you clear a scene or have your suspect in handcuffs."

"What do you get out of it? Am I only supposed to work three days a week?"

"No. I want you to stay here. At least four nights a week. I won't pressure you into anything; I just want to have you next to me, to know that you're okay."

"Two days. I'll stay here four nights if you only go to the precinct two days."

"I pick which two days."

"Okay. But as soon as you step out of that car before I tell you that you can the deal is off."

"Alright," he holds out his hand, and she hesitates before shaking it.

Once he lets go of her hand, she places it over his wound, careful not to cause him too much pain. "Rick…" The tears well up in her eyes again.

He takes her cast in his hand, studying the fresh blood stain on it from earlier that day. "I guess we've both been lucky these past few weeks," he whispers, resting his forehead against hers.

She closes the gap between their lips, "I love you."

"I love you too." As they kiss, he puts his arms around her, pulling her closer, assuring himself that they are both very much alive. When she starts to unbutton his shirt, he pulls away slightly to whisper, "Maybe we should take this elsewhere."

A/N: I actually remembered to update today. I will try to reply to reviews this time, but I seem to have a lot of homework to do. Although I was seriously contemplating watching an episode of Castle to get a break from reading... Anyway, two chapters left. Please review.